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“Ms. Landau,” came the voice from her manager, and Serval looked up from where she’d been going over her song list for her upcoming concert. Putting aside the list, she got up and walked over into the foyer of the stadium where she could see her manager talking to and standing beside a pair of women, around the same height. One was sporting an eyepatch, and the other, a fancy corporate dress. They were chattering among themselves, before Serval’s manager heard her approach. He turned around and then smiled. “Ah, Ms. Landau.” He turned back to the two women and Serval walked over.
“Hey, sorry to keep you waiting,” she said. “Things all still all crazy after the show earlier. If you’re here for autographs, unfortunately that booth closed awhile ago, though I wouldn’t mind signing a few more copies of the album.” She gave the two women a smile and her manager turned back towards them.
“Beidou, Ningguang, now that we’re all here, I’d like to introduce Ms. Landau.” He gestured towards Serval who sent him a chuckle in response and then he looked back at Serval. “Ms. Landau, Beidou, Ningguang.” The two women then bowed in front of her, and she found herself wondering what exactly they were here for, seeing as they didn’t really seem to want autographs. “They’re here about the opening in your band, since Pela left and you now need someone to fill in that missing space.” She blinked but then smiled.
Ah, so that’s why they’re here. The opening in the band. The role that Cocolia had refused to fill, for some reason, despite having gifted Serval the very guitar she used on stage. And that was another thing…
Cocolia hadn’t come to the show today either.
Her manager clicked his fingers in front of her eyes and she blinked. “Oh yes, of course. The opening.” She looked over at them, and the one with the eyepatch was giving her a slightly concerned expression, but she was sure it was only because she had blacked out for a second and had just stood there quietly. “If you could follow us, then we can discuss it, my trailer is this way.” She led them over to her trailer and then the four of them squeezed into it. While she was there, she took a quick glance at her phone, but Cocolia hadn’t answered her, though the message had been read. “So, we’ll start the interview now. Though I first have to ask, which one of you is applying?”
“That would be me,” said the one with the eyepatch, giving her a hearty smile. “They call me Beidou. Though some think of me as a pirate because of my missing eye.” Beidou then laughed. A hearty, cool type, the kind that was reminiscent of friends talking beside a warm cozy fire, not caring if the world would judge them if they happened upon their conversation. A stark contrast to Cocolia’s icy humourless laugh as of late. That quality alone already had Serval thinking that Beidou could possibly be a good fit for the band. The band would need this energy, and she hadn’t even conducted the interview yet! Beidou’s voice rang out again, highly amused, “Sometimes I play into it. I go ‘full pirate’ mode, the kids love it. Yar har mateys, I’m your Pirate Captain Beidou!” Serval chuckled to herself.
“So I take it you’re good with kids?” She commented, and Beidou nodded. Being good with kids isn’t really needed for a band all that much, but Serval did have fans who were on the younger end that Beidou could possibly help with. So, it was good to know. More and more Cocolia was seeming like a less likely band member. Cocolia didn’t necessarily hate children, but she’d seen how hard Cocolia was on Bronya, she’d heard how hard Cocolia was on Bronya. Who’s to say she wouldn’t be like that to her younger fans? Despite the interview having yet to be conducted, Beidou was already seeming like a probable band member already. Beidou pulled an album out of a pocket in her oversized jacket and brought forth an image.
“I volunteer at many orphanages and making the kids days brighter,” she said. She flipped through the album until she came to an image of a white-haired boy sleeping in a cot and her voice softened to a tone Serval recognized as one she’d used with Gepard when he was a baby when their parents had been fighting on and off. “I’m even fostering one myself now. This is little Kazuha,” she said softly, smiling in a way that made Serval warm inside, much warmer than she felt beside Cocolia’s side usually. “But, I’m probably delaying the interview needlessly by all this chatter,” she said, putting away the album, Ningguang rolling her eyes behind her. Serval straightened in her seat and picked up the clipboard.
“Can you get us some tea?” Serval asked her manager. “Which teas do you like?”
“I like oolong tea, without milk and Ningguang likes Glaze Lily tea, with milk.” The way Beidou said this made her sound robotic, but that was probably because the two of them had been asked this a lot. Serval’s manager nodded and then disappeared out of the trailer, making it shake as he left, Serval turning towards Beidou and Ningguang.
“So, first of all, it says name, and your name is Beidou,” Serval murmured to herself, writing down everything she already knew from the previous conversation before actually conducted the interview. She then looked back up, after checking the questions and sat back, putting on a professional persona as opposed to the conversational one she’d had earlier. “Okay, so. Beidou, do you have any experience with drums and/or other instruments? Before we continue any further, I need to know you can actually play an instrument. That’s likely obvious, but you’d be surprised by the previous applicants I’ve encountered.” Cocolia could hold a tune, when she wanted to, but she hadn’t wanted to join the band and now seemed to be ignoring her.
Serval hoped she wasn’t ignoring her.
Beidou’s laughter brought her out of her thoughts, and she turned her head as a small smile played on her lips. “You’ve had people apply without knowing how to even play an instrument? I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh but, what did they expect? To answer your actual question, I do. I’d give you a demonstration, but I’d need an instrument to do that.” Serval blinked and looked over at her guitar, lying untouched on her couch bed. She picked it up, ignoring that Cocolia’s eyes flashed in her mind. ‘Lia’s eyes had been so warm then… now there was no warmth to speak of.
“Use this,” said Serval, handing Beidou the guitar. “It looks makeshift because it’s homemade, but I’m sure it’ll still hold up.” Beidou took the guitar and looked it over, running her hands over it, jumping a little when it sparked in front of her.
“No offense, but this really isn’t that well made. It feels flimsy, though I’m not gonna bash it further because it is homemade and the maker probably didn’t have experience all that much.” Serval couldn’t really describe the stabbing feeling she felt through her heart, was it betrayal? Would Cocolia really create a guitar and make it flimsy on purpose? Cocolia with all that mechanical experience. No. Beidou must just be used to better built guitars, so to her it seems flimsy. Plus, she doesn’t know the story behind the guitar. “I’ll be as careful as I can with it,” Beidou’s voice swam back into her ears. She stood up and walked over to where the trailer had space and started strumming the guitar.
Beidou played the guitar with a grace Serval hadn’t expected from her. Her fingers sailed over the strings. The song she was playing was quite slow, probably so she could be as gentle as she could with the apparently flimsy guitar. One thing for certain though, was that Beidou clearly had experience with playing a guitar, probably more vigorously but still, experience was there. Serval then wrote down in her notes that Beidou could, in fact, play an instrument.
“Okay, so next question: do you have experience with working with other people before? In this case it would be, have you been in a band before? But, I suppose that any type of group would work,” Serval said, returning to the professional persona she’d put on before. Beidou, on the other hand, put the guitar back down as gently as she could and returned her gaze to Serval.
“Have experience in a band? No, I can’t say I have, I’ve mainly been practicing by myself or doing stuff solo, but I do get along quite well with people. This will be a new experience for me, though I have had a few jam sessions with Dehya and Xinyan, where I can either play drums or guitar. You told me to play your guitar earlier, that’s actually the thing I’m worse at,” she laughed, and Serval wrote that down. It wasn’t a strike against Beidou for her application, but it was good to know for certain songs. “You can’t exactly fit a drum kit in this trailer though, so if you want me to demonstrate that we’d have to leave the trailer.”
“That’s true, and I would like to hear you drum as well, as some of my songs require drums, and since you say you can, I might as well hear you on that too,” Serval decided, getting up from her chair and Beidou doing the same. Giving the other woman a smile, Serval left the trailer.
That had been the first time that Serval had met Beidou. Beidou had aced the rest of the interview with flying colours, so much so, that Serval hadn’t even had to do all that much deliberation. Beidou had won her spot on the band by the first conversation they had. Cocolia had been less than enthused though, she’d hardly reacted at all, which had Serval wondering what was really happening or going on. She hadn’t even supported her concerts at all in a while either. Meanwhile, Beidou had been there every time. She had to be, obviously, she was part of the band, but the fact that Serval’s own girlfriend couldn’t even be bothered to come to her concerts, even just once had her feeling worse and worse.
And then, without warning, Cocolia went radio silent.
She didn’t return Serval’s calls at all, nor answer her messages, merely leaving them with that ghostly ‘read’. Serval hadn’t even heard anything from Bronya either was the most worrying part. But, the thing was Serval would see her out and about doing various things, going to malls, so nothing had happened to her that would result in this radio silence, it was simply as if Serval suddenly didn’t exist. And it hurt. Why all of sudden was Cocolia acting like she wasn’t there? Had she done something to upset her? What had she done that she was suddenly nothing more than a speck of dirt in Cocolia’s eyes?
That thought was irrational right? Cocolia was just going through a strange spell right? Probably. Cocolia would probably get over this strange spell right? Serval turned to her phone and started texting someone, someone she could actually trust, and she didn’t quite trust Cocolia at the moment, with her merely reading her messages and not answering at least once. The little mark beside Beidou’s profile image then indicated that she was online.
Beidou: What’s up, Serv?
Serval: Can I vent for a sec?
Beidou: Sure
Serval: I’m sure you’ve heard of Cocolia? She hasn’t responded to me or answered me or even acknowledged me for a month now. I’m not sure what I’ve done or if I’ve upset her? But she isn’t talking to me at all. Bronya’s also been quite quiet, but she’s talking to me when I see her in public and Cocolia isn’t even acknowledging me.
Beidou: Serv-
Serval: And she hasn’t come to a concert of mine in months, and obviously I don’t expect her to come to every one, but some support would be nice. And I’ve tried communicating and she won’t even give me the time of day.
Beidou’s texting paused. She was still online, and her status changed to typing every so often, and then fluctuating between that and online. She was clearly trying to think of something to say, and that was more than whatever Cocolia was doing at the moment. Beidou’s status then changed to typing again and seemed to stick that way for a while.
Beidou: Serval, honestly, I think it may be
Beidou: How do I put this kindly…
Beidou: If she’s not even acknowledging you, or giving you the time of day, if she hasn’t really supported you…
Beidou: Let’s say it this way. Serval, where do you think the relationship is headed if she continues to ignore you or refuses to communicate with you? For me personally, I’d feel like I wasn’t being appreciated. I’d feel like, if the relationship isn’t making me feel the same as I did when I started it, especially if my partner decided to no longer acknowledge me, or the fact we are in a relationship, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I don’t know about your relationship with Cocolia, and I haven’t been in relationships much myself, but from your vent just now, I honestly feel…
Beidou: Like you should end your relationship, now. When it won’t hurt as bad as a potential betrayal down the line.
Beidou: It’s not my decision to make, Serval. Though I’ve seen similar relationships go on longer, when the so-called ‘relationship’ has already been dead in the water for months or even years at that point. Put another way: Don’t let Cocolia tear you down if the relationship is already strained.
Beidou: I’m here for you. Whatever decision you make.
Serval felt tears from at her eyes. It really was that bad, wasn’t it? If even Beidou could see it? Cocolia was at the very least bored of her, and at worst, not even interested in her at all anymore. She still had her reservations, but she trusted Beidou’s words. Best to rid herself of the possible heartache and just kill the dying horse already. Taking a deep breath, Serval opened Cocolia’s contact and looked at the status
Last Seen: 3 hours ago
Okay, so she wouldn’t see this right away, maybe that was a good thing, she wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath. She didn’t know how Cocolia would react, if react at all. Shakily, she typed out her message. Even Cocolia’s profile picture was as cold as the ice in her soul.
Serval: You clearly have no purpose left for me, judging by how you keep ignoring me when we’re supposed to be a couple, I doubt you’ll even respond to this message. But, if you no longer want me in your life, so be it.
Serval: I never want to see you again.
The message came out more harsh than expected, roused by an unexpected anger rising through her veins. She hit sent and then everything hit her at once. She felt ridiculously free, yet she still felt caged, she could almost see the walls closing in on her, and it hurt . She felt hurt, and surprisingly betrayed, though Cocolia had done no actual betraying, but maybe the betrayal was simply ignoring her for however long it was. Her phone pinged and she looked over, Cocolia had actually responded, but her actual response made Serval taste bile.
Cocolia: That’s too bad.
So you really didn’t care about me, huh? She thought bitterly. She felt the cage close around her again. And that’s how it was.
Serval had gotten rid of what had been dragging her down, but there was still that looming feeling over her head. She didn’t know how to get rid of it, and so she found herself at Beidou’s house, who opened the door with a frown. “Didya do it?” She asked simply, letting Serval into her house silently. “Also everyone’s in the lounge.” Serval looked up at her.
“Everyone?” Beidou offered her a smile.
“Me, Kazuha, and the rest of the band members,” she explained. She led the two over to the lounge and Beidou placed Kazuha on her hip. “It’s a bit of a crappy situation,” she said softly. “But this is Serval, my ‘boss’ if you will.” She grinned ruffling Kazuha’s hair. “She’s not really my boss, but she’s the lead singer of the band I’m in! Isn’t that cool?” Serval couldn’t help but smile. Beidou had definitely proved herself as being good with kids, with Kazuha especially.
“It’s still sort of surprising you’re only fostering him,” she commented. “You’re basically his mother at this point.” Beidou looked over at her and almost seemed embarrassed. Serval blinked and tilted her head. “What?” Beidou hurriedly put Kazuha back in the crib and then looked back at her.
“I… signed the adoption papers a week ago. You were busy that day and I didn’t want to bother you with the news. I couldn’t help it. I just kinda… came to see him as my son, and, I might as well make it official, huh?” Serval had barely broken up with Cocolia a few minutes ago, but the difference in their parenting styles was immediately obvious. Beidou was calm yet firm, while Cocolia was just pushing Bronya around everywhere. She hoped Bronya was okay living with someone as strict as Cocolia. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Beidou said.
“No, I get it. I was having issues with Cocolia, and you didn’t want to interrupt.” Beidou blinked.
“It wasn’t because of your issues with Cocolia. You were busy setting up a concert venue and that can be stressful. Cocolia has always given me a weird vibe, I admit that, but it wasn’t because of Cocolia.” Serval blinked, she should probably stop thinking about Cocolia at all, seeing as she’d done nothing but ignore her for months. “So, did you do it?” She added quietly.
“Yes,” she answered quietly. Beidou reached out and put her hand on her shoulder, rubbing up and down.
“How are you feeling?” There was concern in her reddish magenta eye, her voice quiet, but the other band members were quiet too that everyone heard the conversation.
“I don’t know. Free, I guess. But also still caged.” Serval suddenly slumped forward and Beidou jumped. “And suddenly very tired.”
“It must’ve been keeping you up at night,” Beidou surmised. She looked over at the other band members. “I’m sure she wants to be alone right now, and I’m not sure if she has the energy to go back to her home so, I’ll let her stay here overnight. Can you get whatever she needs from her house?” Beidou moved to pickup Serval when one of the band members chirped up.
“Why your house specifically? Why can’t we just carry her to her house?” The tone almost indicated teasing but Beidou wasn’t fazed.
“She’s here already and she’s just broken up with her girlfriend who basically abandoned her. I don’t think she wants to be left alone right now. I know what that sounds like, but it’s the best course of action right now.” The band members then left and Beidou picked Serval up and carried her to the spare bedroom. “Do you want anything, Serv? Food? Alcohol? Tea?”
“Maybe a sandwich,” Serval murmured. She really wasn’t hungry, but that might make her feel better. Beidou offered her a small smile. “Be Pirate Beidou when you bring it, please. I think I need a bit of cheering up.” Beidou then grinned and Serval felt herself smile. Beidou then walked out of the spare room and Serval felt herself start to doze off.
“Dinna’s served Serv! From yer matey, Pirate Beidou! Yar har har!” Beidou ran into the room, sporting a pirate hat and Serval’s sandwich. “Here’s ta san’wich ye ordered, courtesy of our fam’us ship chefs!” Beidou was laughing herself and it caused Serval to laugh as well. She took the sandwich and then began eating it. Beidou’s laugh was hearty again, the warm cozy variety, the hanging out variety, and with a friend like Beidou, Serval was honestly starting to like it more than Cocolia’s humourless, icy laugh. It was the trait that had landed Beidou the job in the band at all, and it was still music to her ears.
Even if she never feels ready to date again, just having Beidou’s laugh and her laughing with her, was something she could get used to.
Serval eventually fell asleep and as Beidou came in to pick up the plates and cutlery, she glanced over at Serval with a smile.
“I hope having this little gathering made you feel more wanted than whatever Cocolia had been giving you, Serv.”