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English
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Published:
2024-10-03
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390
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1/1
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I Came Willingly

Summary:

Missy ponders her descions (& boredom) in the vault.

Work Text:

Missy, in her current situation, spends a lot of time alone. A lot of time sitting in a basement very few people could find if they tried. A lot of time with no one to talk to but herself.

The first few years were the most annoying, the most grating on her pride. You fool, begging for your life only to loose everything. Oh come now. I'm being silly. This is better than nothing. It has to be.

Every evening after the Doctor was finished entertaining himself with ridiculous humans, he would come and visit her. It took her a long time to admit to herself that she did rather find herself waiting for him to come. What else was there to do, after all? She had read her way through a significant proportion of the ridiculous literature of this silly little planet, taken up multidimensional watercolour painting and was not unseriously considering Makithian tapestry, an extraordinarily complex art that required living plants and threads of the maker's own hair.

It was the boredom that got to her. So much time to sit and think. Too much time. Endlessly dwelling on things that's she'd long forgotten she'd done. Lifetimes worth of memories she once would have glanced through unfeelingly now made her feel ill. I did that. Just because it wasn't my face doesn't mean it wasn't still me.

She tried to distract herself but there simply wasn't anything to distract herself with. She stood in the centre of the room. For the seven hundred thousandth, four hundred & thirteenth time she considered escape. She could do it. It wouldn't even be that difficult. She could get through the door if she wanted, she got halfway though a plan before stopping herself.

'I came willingly' she said aloud, jarring herself out of her thoughts.

'I chose this. I entered this room of my own accord.'

She reached over and touched a low minor chord on the piano. She felt her throat getting choked up. She vaguely wished the Doctor was here, so he could see that she was trying, that she did feel remorse. but at the same time infinitely grateful that he could not see her like this.

'I came willingly,' she said again, quietly.

The empty walls of the room stared back at her, same as they always did.