Work Text:
Agent Phoenix saw the billboards once more: a black and white photo of John Juniper, two dates beside him. They were peering out the bus window as it stayed stuck in traffic.
The horns of annoyed drivers and the complaints of commuters provided a haze to drown out their thoughts. The smoke from the incoming cars added to a hazy smoke that added to the suffocating atmosphere. The lights from the vehicles were an endless stream of multicolored lights that seemed to seer into their eyes.
They couldn’t accept it. Yet, they were there, identifying his body amongst the rubble when approached by civilian paramedics. They’d barely made it themselves; they had to kick up a fuss just so others would notice him.
“John, why did you have to die?” They whispered, staring at his image that can never respond, never hold them again.
“Even if I were to die, I’d always remain in your heart. My love for you will surpass death.” He smiled at them as they held hands under the glimmering stars. “So don’t worry if I overwork myself.”
“Take care of yourself, John. I know you tend to be overeager sometimes. Can we just… slow down? Be with me?” They held onto his hand tightly, before they slowly pulled themselves closer to him. They wrapped their other arm around him, staring at his hazel eyes in complete amazement, watching as the stars swirl in his eyes. Warmth spread across their cheek when he gently held their body within his arms.
“I’ll stay the night if that makes you happy.”
Phoenix’s eyes opened when they felt the bus moving. They shook their head, trying to dry the tears that emerged from the memory. Their breathing quickened, yet slowed shortly after.
They are a spy, an operative who has to turn off their emotions, cut off all attachments, shut off any semblance of humanity… all for the sake of a mission. A mission where they could lose everything in a single moment
“I love you.” His eyes shone with love as he took them within his arms, playing with their hair as they slowly melted under his gentle touch. “I love you so much I can’t put it into words.” He gave them a quick kiss on the cheek.
They fought back a flush on their cheek as they buried their head on his chest. “I… love you too.” They hummed as they tried to fight the stutter caused by their heart’s frantic beats.
They know they’re only deluding themselves but… they miss him. They imagined his head on their shoulder, although the seat beside them was empty and cold.
He was a liar and they knew it. He lied that he loved them but abandoned them years ago. Thinking about it, he chose Zoraxis over them, people who never once valued him for who he is.
He’d rejected and tossed them out of his embrace, only to be tossed out himself. Part of them feels vindicated, yet it only created a gaping wound in them as they are now stuck living in his memory. Forever. Never forgotten.