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It couldn’t be real.
But it was.
The smell of burnt flesh and blood was thick in the air. The sound of a redstone machine which had overloaded and broken crackled through the air.
“Is-Iskall?” The mustached man slowly walked toward his friend, quietly calling out to the man on the floor. “This isn’t funny, mate.” As he drew closer, the dread pooling in Mumbo’s stomach only grew heavier.
The cybernetic that made up his eye was charred and burns marred the left side of his face where skin connected with metal. The flesh was blistered and a liquid dripped onto the floor in a puddle that was too thick to be anything but blood. Mumbo could see his own face reflected in the rich crimson making him look more pale than usual. Although, maybe that was just because his friend was seriously injured.
Why hadn’t he respawned yet? There was too much damage for there to be any hope his friend was still alive.
Stepping closer, he wanted to crouch down next to the Swede only to halt as someone spoke from behind him.
“It is a little funny if you think about it.”
The voice sent ice down his spine, freezing him to the spot. “I thought you were gone.” It was only then that Mumbo was able to make out the marks that had most definitely been left by lighting and not the prosthetic exploding.
A bone-rattling laugh preceded an answer, “Uh huh. Sure.”
Mumbo stood and turned slowly, “But Xisuma-”
EvilX just cackled, “Ah yes. He ‘took care’ of me just as he did every other time.”
Not really knowing how to respond, the redstoner just stared dumbfounded at the admin’s brother.
“Seriously? I knew you were a man of little words, but this is a bit much.” Arms crossed against an armored chest. The familiar material a dreaded deep red. The hermits were so used to the brightly colored versions of the admin’s suit, but never this shade of red. The crimson was not dissimilar to the color dripping from Iskall’s face.
“No matter!” The words broke a small moment of silence, forcing Mumbo from his thoughts and back to the nightmare in front of him. “I am back, and well,” he turned to faced the redstoner and looked him in the eyes from behind the tinted visor. The same eyes their beloved admin had. The same eyes with small wrinkles from smiling too much. But these were cold and had no signs of the fondness that Xisuma had for his hermits. “I need your help, and I needed to show you what I could do to other friends of yours.”
Mumbo blinked in confusion at the demand. “I would’ve helped you regardless?”
It was EX’s turn to stand confused, “Pardon?”
“Dude. I’m terrified of you?” The man just continued to stand there with his head tilted in confusion. “You could’ve just threatened me or my friends,” he turned to gesture to where Iskall was lying on the floor, “you didn’t have to actually do it!” Sure, it was more confrontational than he usually was, but at this point, he was frankly just too exasperated and bemused to question what was coming out of his mouth.
“Oh.” The word hung in the air as the two stood awkwardly in the middle of the redstoner’s base. “Crikey, guess this was unnecessary then.” An armored hand was swept across the room and Iskall’s body disappeared. The pool of sticky blood and the smell of burnt metal and flesh also dissipated.
“You-I-What? Where did you send him?” His mustache twitched with the anger that was starting to bubble up.
“I didn’t send that derp anywhere? He’s fine. None of that was real?” EX sounded genuinely confused.
“What do you mean it wasn’t real?” He didn’t know EvilX was able to manipulate reality. Unless Xisuma’s experience in season five counts.
The armored man sighed. “It was an illusion.”
“Oh.”
Neither said a word, once again filling the space with a thick silence. The mustached man shifted in place, not sure what to do. Then he remembered why EX said he was here. “What did you need my help with?”
“Right! My ev-My plan!” He walked past the redstoner, into his kitchen before sitting on the table. “I want to prank someone. That’s what you hermits do here, correct?”
“I guess so?”
“Well, if I can’t be evil, then I want to at least cause chaos, even if it’s tame.”
Mumbo shook his head quickly to clear it, and make sure he wasn’t hearing things. “Let me get this straight. You created an illusion of my friend, dead might I add, and threatened me all so I would help you with a prank?”
“I didn’t threaten you.” EX’s voice was flat as if his blatant lie was the truth.
“You threatened to do what you did to Iskall to other hermits! That was before I knew it was an illusion, which is worse!”
“Oh, I’m a total derp.” Gloved hands rubbed at his helmet as if he forgot he was wearing it. “That’s not what I meant. I wanted to use an illusion to prank someone. Who better to help sell a prank than someone who can’t lie?”
Offended, Mumbo sputtered, “I can lie!”
Helmet tilted slightly forward, EX stopped him from saying anything else, “No, you can’t.” The words were as deadpan as the man could get. “Regardless, I want to prank another hermit like I did you just now. Use my illusions to cause some turmoil.”
A little more relaxed, but not much as the man’s presence still sent shivers down his spine, Mumbo set out a couple of cookies on the table. Evil Xisuma quickly grabbed one and tried to eat it, seeming to forget that he was wearing the helmet. Shoulders slumping, he put the treat in his inventory.
“Fine. What did you have in mind?” He stepped back and crossed his arms.
Through the visor, the mustached man saw his eyes brighten slightly before going cold again. “Okay, okay, so,” he placed his hands on his knees and leaned forward as if telling a secret. “What if I made an illusion like that one, but of you?” He froze from where he seemed to be vibrating with excitement. “You’re still well-liked, right? I’m not having a derp moment?”
Dropping his hands from the sudden question, Mumbo started to respond only to be interrupted before actually getting anything out.
“Yeah, you are. I’m not that big of a derp.” He waived his hand in dismissal before continuing. “I make the illusion in a public place, maybe the shopping district? You then send a message for help, and then let the chaos unfold!” EX paused, looking at Mumbo expectantly.
“That’s not a good prank.”
The armored man’s stare seemed to get more hostile, though he didn’t move a muscle, “Why? I think it’s great! It’ll be hilarious!”
“Evil Xisuma.” The redstoner summoned any confidence he had and steeled himself against the eyes that were boring into him. “Pranks are meant to be fun for everyone. Say Grian wondered upon the illusion of my body. One of my best friends sees me broken and mostly, or even all the way dead on the ground. Say he finds me lying in a pool of my own blood, bones poking through my skin, my brains spattered on the ground. Do you think he would be laughing?” He raised an eyebrow with the question, mustache quirking up with it.
“Why wouldn’t he be?”
Sighing, Mumbo explained best he could, “Because he would think that I was dead! That’s not funny! You don’t see me laughing about the illusion of Iskall even though I know it was an illusion now. In fact, you saw me almost spiral into a panic attack because I thought he was permadead, and I couldn’t remember the last thing I said to him!”
EX looked at his hands, “Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh’.” The redstoner’s hands started to shake now that his demonstration was finished. “Both people have to be laughing in the end. Otherwise, it’s not a prank, just a cruel joke. All things considered, in your case, it would still be considered evil.”
“Uggh. I still want to cause chaos though.” EvilX looked him in the eye once again. “Will you help me?”
“Sure, mate. All you had to do was ask.” Rifling through his redstone shulker, he laughed as he found what he was looking for. “This is very useful for proper pranks.”
Evil Xisuma joined his laughter at the sight of a noteblock being placed on the table.