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Chip sighs and shakes his head. Of course they couldn't trust the mayor! It could never be that easy, not for Chip. First his parents leave him, apologizing, yes, but it's not like that could make up for anything. He was barely 5, he couldn't understand what was actually happening. He thought they were going to play hide and seek, the way they set it up. And for 2 years, he was alone, living in a few houses, but always seeming to find his way back to the streets, one way or another.
He found his way down to the coast, where it was colder, yes, but the food what easier to steal, and most shopkeepers don't mind paying you a coin or two if you help out around their shop, some letting him keep the last of their goods, others giving him a share of the money.
And then came Arlin. The best of any of his parents, lost to the sea only three and a half years after taking Chip in.
(And there were the bad times, stuck in that damn crew with – never mind(
So no, life wasn’t easy for Chip.
But he always. Kept. Going.
And because of that, he now had a crew of his own, the three of them on a small boat, and he had started to feel safe with them now, like he had with Arlin. But the boat was gone, and Gillion and their stupid moral compass (no one with a moral compass ever helped Chip) decided to help an entire town, and Now he was here, walking through a stupid foggy forest-
And Chip blinked. He looked up, and around, and he couldnt see. He blinked again, and still nothing. And thinking about Arlin always forces a kind of tightness in his chest, but now he couldnt see anyone. Jay was right next to him a second ago, but she was gone now, and he couldn’t see Gillion chasing after bugs.But surely his crew wouldnt leve him? Surly he hadent been that greedy, that jumpy, that flashy? Had he been too loud, too harsh, too selfish? Had he been too clingy? Too weak, the same as that useless son of a bitch he was back on the black rose as a kid, to weak to save the man he loved the most, to weak to do anything but cry and scream for help?
But here he was, screaming again, like a useless fucking baby, dispite being so much older, and better, and more helpful..
Right?
“JAY! JAY WHERE ARE YOU!” And he could barely hear anything, a ringing in his ears he only just noticed, but stumbling and reaching out he found something. A hand, an rm. Someone. “Who are you? Who is this?” He could hear someone talking, someone, he couldnt tell who. He followed the arm up to their face, not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose everyone again. He kept asking, trying to make sure they kept taling so that they couldnt leave him, no matter how much of a baby he was, how stupid he was being, this person couldnt leave.
His hands made their way to the persons face, and he could feel their hair, and his stupid brain, desperate to figure out who this was, sent him back to a memory of him brushing hair, and he couldn't place who, at first he thought it was Arlin again, but the ship was too small, and the hair was, the hair was a bright orange. And unintentionally, he whispered Jays name, and the person nodded bringing him back. It was Jay.
She kept talking, kept saying things to him, but he couldnt tell what. Calmer now, he took a breath, and realized he was crying.
And then he heard a shout, and Gillion was right there, and Chip dropped Jays face to grab Gillion, and he was more gentle now, calmer, and he didn't want to hurt his fins. Gillion had told him a million times they were sturdy and healed fast, but Chip knew that the thin membrane would rip easier the longer in the air, having seen Finn’s rip many a time. And yes they healed, but it hurt like hell, Finn would take more breaks, be unable to swim fast or move fastly through air, and if you bumped them,he would wince. So Chip didn’t touch Gillions ears.
Once he found them both, he brouuth them close, and yet, he still couldnt see them. And yes, that caused him a bit of panic, but he was fine, he was okay.
“Chip, whats wrong with you face?” Chip let go of the two to check, but he freaked out. What if this was a distraction, and now they were going to leave him? What if they weren’t going to before, but now they were?
In his panic, Chip feels a gash on his face, and believed to to be huge. Stretching from his ear to his nose, and bleeding, its wet, his face is wet, it must be blood, but he can’t see it. So he screams. Yes, screams. And Gillion grabs him, and Chip realizes that his hands where wet from grabbing Gillion and the air, but Gillion is right here and they where holding his wrists of their own free will. In an effort to make it all seem like a stupid joke (Then he wouldn’t cause them panic. Then he wouldn’t cause them to think he was too dramatic and leave him), he half-yells “I’m dying!” but gillion takes it seriously, and picks him up and it feels good.
Oh.
It feels so nice. And Chip still can feel residue of his panic, so he forces that into a couple of yells that will hopefully keep Gillion holding him, keep him in their arms, because he doesn’t know the last time he was hugged. And this feels nice.
Later, when Chip’s in their new ship (there’s still dispute on what to call it), he finds himself sitting with the other three and laughing (by choice) about the island they just left. He jokes about faking the screaming, and Jay stood faster than chip could keep up with, shouting that she knew it, before falling on her back, having pushed her chair away accidentally. Chip laughed his ass off with Earl, and Gillon, trying to help, slipped and fell on top of her.
That night Chip dreams about what it would be like to always have that touch, to not dream of it every day, to not just hope one day he’ll fall into someone’s arms again. He thinks on it i the morning, and chooses to wait.
He’s sure that once he can tell them, they’ll not care, they’ll comply, they’ll agree. But not yet. One day. One day soon, but not now.
Things were never easy for Chip, but they would get easier. They already were.