Chapter Text
The house is cold tonight.
Laugh tracks drone on in the background while Alicent sits back in her chair. She subconsciously bounces the baby fussing in her arms. It sobs into the collar of her shirt and the damp cotton clings to her skin. The feeling of it rubbing against her clavicle deepens the irritation bubbling inside of her. Humming leaves her chest naturally. She nuzzles her son's head in an attempt to comfort him. The sobs grow in intensity, his face reddening with strain. Alicents’ eyes slide shut. Exhaling a sigh, she moves him to lay in the crook of her arm.
“It’s alright,” she whispers. “Mama’s here.”
Daerons’ head shakes back and forth. The heat radiates from his skin aggressively. She can almost feel the ear infection drifting from him. The stench of the hospital emergency room hangs thick between them. A quiet cough from across the room stabs at the irritation.
Two weeks had gone by since Viserys’ funeral and the Targaryen family was beginning to crumble. Three of the children had been run through with some mysterious illness that had popped up at their school. Two consecutive emergency room visits later, they were all diagnosed with influenza A and sent home with a treatment plan of rest. Alicent had quarantined the infant away from them with hope that she’d be able to keep him from getting sick as well. And yet, here she was.
Her eyes drift to the lumps on the couch. Ragged breathing raises from each of the sleeping bodies huddled beneath blankets. She pats Daerons back, listening to him hiccup between his sobs. Alicent studies Aegon first. The only visible part of him is his hair peeking out over the top of his blankets. Sunfyre is curled in the crook of his knees. The ragged breathing that leaves the frenchie sends disgusted shivers down her spine. She doesn’t have anything against the dog, per say… but she constantly wishes that Aegon hadn’t insisted on the slimiest looking one there. Or, perhaps, at least one that wasn’t so loud every single time it performed a task needed to survive.
Across the couch from him is Helaena. Her head rests on the top of the cushions, her blanket draped across her shoulders. Her breathing is soft but Alicent can barely hear a quiet rumbling leaving her. The worst of her illness had probably passed by now, but it didn’t seem like Helaena was interested in bouncing back to school anytime soon.
Finally, Aemond. Alicent was hopeful Aemond was fast asleep upstairs in his room, but she knew him too well. She could picture him laying upstairs staring at his books or trying to convince one of the dogs to follow him back to bed. She knew she should go up there and check on him.
She should…
Daeron hiccups again, causing Aegon to stir slightly. His head shifts. A quiet cough bubbles out of his chest. Alicent tenses and holds Daeron closer to her chest in an attempt to soften his cries. Eventually, Aegon settles again. She lets out a long sigh of relief.
“Let’s go to bed,” she whispers.
Pushing herself up off the chair, Sunfyres eyes open. Letting out a long sigh, the dog pushes himself to stand up. He shakes the sleep from himself and hops down.
“No,” she whispers again. “Stay.”
Sunfyre snorts up to her. His ears raise up and his jaw loosens, letting his tongue peek out from between his front teeth. Alicent shakes her head and he whimpers quietly.
Please?
Alicent snorts back, mostly in amusement and less out of necessity, and shakes her head again. Sunfyres mouth shuts with a loud clamp. A long, low whine overrides the sound of whatever Disney show was playing now. She tenses.
“Fine. Come on. Just be quiet, ok?”
He snorts once again and trots off to the stairs. Alicent pauses to shut off the tv. The laughing cuts out abruptly and she’s confronted with the image of her own tired self in the reflection. She offers a weak smile as the remote clatters onto the coffee table. Daeron nuzzles her shoulder and she kisses his forehead back.
Following in Sunfyres trail, she quickly shuts off the lamp lingering by the arch way to their foyer. Daeron settles again. His hiccuping turns to soft babbling as his eyes shut. She reaches out to grasp the railing, heaving herself up the first step. Her legs shake in exhausted protest.
Alicents’ feet drag against each of the steps. Her toes catch against their lips and her mind wills her to fall. To allow herself to tumble down each step. Daerons warm skin and quiet whimpering keeps her steady. Her palm rubs circles on his spine. Sunfyre thumps up the stairs behind her, snorting with each step up. She can picture his stumpy legs pushing himself up and his tongue lopping out of his mouth.
She reaches the landing moments before him but stops to allow him to catch up. His entire body shakes as he attempts to wag his tail. He snorts up at her.
“If we move, I’ll get you a house with no stairs,” she promises.
His body shakes harder and his ears lean back. Aegon always told her that Sunfyre could understand what they were saying, and she was always inclined to agree. Alicent exchanges a smile with the dog and turns to set off down the hallway. Discolored walls loom around her from displaced photographs. The remaining ones smile hollowly down on her. Their old comforter remains discarded next to the door to her room.
She acknowledges the blood stain hidden beneath it. At some point she will remember to ask Corlys to borrow his carpet cleaner.
At some point.
Her chest constricts slightly as she continues down the hallway. Daeron finally settles against her shoulder. She kisses him on the head as she enters his nursery, met with the warmth she’d been searching for.
The nursery was hers. She had spent weeks designing each and every detail. Her mind had been full of patterns and wood colors while her stomach swelled. He had nothing to do with any of it. He’d said three had been enough for him, he’d feel best if she focused on it.
The room was a comforting, rich shade of dark green, with lace curtains drawn up to show off the home's back garden. It was crammed in each corner with stuff. Daerons’ crib was a dark stain of red oak, one that she could modify as he aged. A basket of soft plushies took up room beneath the windowsill. Her favorite flower-patterned rocking chair had been tucked in the adjacent corner. The walls were illustrated with a forest pattern that she’d had Laena help her with.
Alicents feet dig into the fluffed rug as she sets Daeron down. Briefly he fusses. His eyes open a crack as he shifts. She kisses her finger tips and presses them against his cheek.
“Sleep well little prince.”
Her hands settle at her side again and she lingers. She waits for the sobs to start again. She waits for one of the children to run in the room to talk to her, waking the baby up by accident. Nails scrape against the wood flooring unceremoniously. She turns to watch Sunfyre trot into the room. His body shakes as his tail wags again. Dramatically, he huffs as he crosses the room before collapsing at the base of the crib. His entire body seems to sink into the rug as he lays there.
“You’re going to keep him safe?” She asks.
Sunfyre responds with a noncommittal sigh while rolling onto his side. Alicent turns on her heel. She leaves the door open a crack and wanders down the hallway. Her fingers drag along the wall, nails scratching at the soft yellow color. She knows deep down she should repaint. She should tear every single scrap off the wall and redo it. But she also knows she won’t let herself.
Alicents hand pulls off the wall. Her fingers feel as though they burn at the thought. It feels as though he haunts these hallways. She determines that moving would be easier than redecorating. Briefly, she considers asking her father if there are any houses closer to him for sale. Briefly, she considers asking him to move her home.
Wood creaks as she shoves open the door to her room. Two bodies lay draped across the bed and she hesitates. Her mind reels, running through years, before her eyes fix to the darkness. Dreamfyre lays stretched out with her paws in the air. Belarion lays in a ball next to her. His breathing is deep as he snores. The dalmatian and the rottweiler seem to sense her presence as they both shift. Their snouts face her in the darkness. Belarion lets out a long, slow snort before rolling over to go back to sleep. Dreamfyre, however, watches her carefully, her eyes connecting with her own in the darkness.
Alicent steadies herself. She places her hand on the door frame before forcing herself inside. The door clicks and slams behind her. Crossing the room, she counts slowly. Her body untenses with each step, each number. Her mind rumbles to silence as she pulls back the green comforter. The tips of her fingers rub against the sewn detailing of flowers. She slips inside, her head collapsing against the pillow. Her mattress is cold against her legs. Vents above her hum as they work. Crickets in their garden chirp through the glass. A paw kicks her shin swiftly.
Dreamfyre needs to stand up to greet her. She lays down next to Alicents torso. Her head comes to rest on her hip allowing Alicent to pat her head. Finally, with effort, her eyes slip closed. Her body curls into its side, knees find their way towards her chest and her fingers cling to the dog. There’s a silence buzzing around her space that settles her. For a second, it is quiet. The house is cold tonight but finally quiet.
Until her phone chimes.
Alicent squeezes her eyes shut. It chimes once again before her ringtone starts. Regrettably, she reaches over and holds the screen in her line of sight. A fuzzy feeling begins to edge its way across her irritation.
Swiping to accept the call, she pushes herself up.
“Rhaenyra?”
“Alicent-” Rhaenyras voice is breathless. She crackles across the line, the sound of a train passing somewhere in the distance cutting through. “I’m sorry. I know it’s late.”
“I was just climbing into bed. Is everything alright?”
She raises her hand to her forehead. Her palm cradles herself. The fuzz grows and expands. A child wails through the phone line and she extends the phone away from her. Alicent would recognize the cries of Luke Velaryon from miles away if that was all she’d had to go off of.
“Rhaenyra?” She repeats, returning the phone to her ear.
“No. I need to get out of here.”