Work Text:
🏜️
The alarm clock rang at 5 a.m., announcing that a new working day had begun. The light in the apartment turned on. The coffee machine automatically starts brewing coffee, four cigarettes appear in the cell – this is the limit for the whole day set by Jimmy, who was trying to quit smoking, the radio turned on, starting to talk about the weather forecast for the day. Jimmy wished all the appliances would shut up and let him sleep until noon, because it was Sunday, but damn, he had a job waiting for him. From the cacophony of sounds in his ears and from the flow of information spewing out, Jimmy wanted to scream, but he could only moan in displeasure.
"Okay, okay, I'm awake, see?"
He lifts his lazy ass off the bed, and the automatic cleaning makes the bed, sliding against the wall. Jimmy looks at his reflection in the mirror and wants to vomit from his miserable appearance, but he grabs a freshly brewed–and as always disgusting– coffee, pulls a cigarette out of the locker and starts this crappy Sunday afternoon.
The phone starts ringing in the morning. Jimmy is worried that his mother will start talking nonsense to him in the morning, but no, the name of his friend and - concurrently - his employer was displayed on the display. Outside the front door, Money begins to meow, who went out on a night hunt and now asked to come into the house to sleep like a normal creature on a Sunday afternoon.
Jimmy opens a small hole on the front door, letting Money into the house, and accepts an incoming call.
"Hi, honey," he greets the cat, but the person on the other end of the phone takes it personally.
"Mhor, you didn't even call me that at the academy. Did you have a good evening?"
"It's me to the cat," Jimmy announces, taking a drag on his cigarette.
His interlocutor laughs.
"Oh yeah, you'd rather keep a pussy at home than hang out with pussies."
"Cats always come home." Jimmy remarks philosophically, walking over to the shelf with his trophies and decorations, where there was a picture of Jimmy and his ex-girlfriend in a frame with the image down.
"At least you're a pansexual, lucky bastard, you have more choice. Men, women, humanoids – choose who you want. Why are you fixated on this girl? There are a million people around."
"I don't need a million. One perfect person is enough." Jimmy puts the photo face down again and looks at another photo.
"Mhor, there are no such. What?" the other person asks when he hears Jimmy's muffled moan.
Jimmy snorts, throwing cigarette ash into the vent, from where the ashes fly up the pipes. He sips coffee from a mug. The coffee is as shitty as his life.
"I found your photo."
"And how do I look?"
"Like a complete dumbass."
"It's probably an old photo. Listen, I'm calling you on business. When will you bring a taxi for diagnosis? It's been two months."
"Neo, the car is shining like the sun." Jimmy takes another sip and tries not to grimace. He can't give the drink a chance anymore and pours it down the sink.
"Mhor, who are you trying to fool? I've known you half my life. You're a reckless guy to look for."
"Neo, that's in the past. Now I'm a taxi driver."
"Mhor, don't talk my teeth out. How many stars do you have left on your license? Well, how much?"
Jimmy knows that he won't be able to hold Neo, but he tries anyway, leaving a little more confidence in his voice.
"Fifty."
"You should have said a hundred more," Neo snorted. "Come on, come to the garage at 4 p.m. and don't be late."
"Fuck." Jimmy sighs, finishing his cigarette when the call from Neo ends.
It's a damn Sunday afternoon. Neo will kill him when he finds out that he has five stars on his license. Jimmy has to pray for the day to pass under the sign of success, or he's screwed.
🌊
Skyscrapers were drowning in the midday sun, littered with cars on all levels. Jimmy drove at the level allowed for taxi drivers, trying not to disrupt the movement of other vehicles. If he screws up and gets stripped of his stars, Neo will kill him. It doesn't matter that they used to work together in the army, when Neo was an officer and Jimmy was a military medic. They've seen a lot together, Neo is his combat buddy and friend, damn it, he gave him a job when Jimmy finished his military service and broke up with his girlfriend, but Neo can't save his ass forever. Jimmy had to try to make it through the day without penalties, bring the car for diagnosis, successfully complete the diagnosis and get some stars for the license. Sunday was supposed to be like this, but things certainly didn't go according to plan when something fell out of the sky into his taxi.
Jimmy lost control and almost crashed into a flying car ahead. A mechanical voice announced that the driving license had dropped to one asterisk. Oh, to hell with this whole shitty Sunday!
Jimmy parked the car with difficulty in a small unfilled area, one level below, and turned to see what had fallen behind the back seat, breaking through the roof of the car. A glowing sign with the words "Taxi" dangled from a single wire as a reminder that he was finished and Neo would kill him.
"Is anyone alive?" asked Jimmy, trying to look through the glass at the back seat of the car. He hopes that at least it's not some viscous humanoid. If he had to scrape his carcass off the floor, Neo would definitely never trust him with a car or even a box of matches in his hand again.
But no, it turned out to be completely different.
A man's human head with bright red hair and the most beautiful crescent eyes Jimmy had ever seen in his life rose from the floor.
Big worried eyes looked at him warily, expecting a threat. Jimmy smiled, trying to soften his face. Apparently it helped, because the head lifted, showing besides the eyes a charming nose with a mole and pink lips, full and moist, resembling marmalades. God, where did this miracle come from in his taxi? Jimmy couldn't even breathe looking at him. The skin is snow-white without a flaw, a slender athletic body, when looking at which Jimmy did not know whether to continue to look at him so shamelessly or still, for the sake of decency, you need to raise your eyes and look at his face, which is also flawless. He was perfect all over. On the body, there were only elastic white ribbons covering the nipples, ribs, navel and encircling the legs to the knees, and there were also white underwear that could not hide anything, only emphasize the ideality of the man in front of him.
Jimmy swallowed and tried to focus on the situation.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
The handsome man continued to stare suspiciously at Jimmy without saying anything.
"You fell from above. Are you okay? Did you break anything?"
The man apparently decided that Jimmy did not pose a threat to him, and began to gesticulate, telling about what had happened to him in some strange language that Jimmy did not understand. What is it? It's unlike any language he's ever heard. But more importantly, the man who was emotionally gesticulating was so charming and sweet when he did it that Jimmy, to be honest, didn't care what kind of language it was or what this strange man was talking about. Jimmy smiled stupidly, encouraging the unexpected passenger to speak, until he slapped the glass that separated them and said the word "boom." Well, that's the only word Jimmy understood.
"Oh, I get it, boom."
"Bada boom."
"Bada boom? You mean big? Does that mean big?"
"Big?" The man tasted an unfamiliar word, savoring it between his lips. It was charming.
Jimmy smiled approvingly.
"Yes, it's big, right."
The man, having received words of approval and at the same time Jimmy's smile, also smiled back, exposing perfectly even teeth and closing his eyes, leaving only small happy cobwebs in the corners.
Oh, my God, Jimmy's not sure how to control his breathing. He's so handsome that it takes his breath away.
He could sit in a taxi all day, which is in disrepair, and look at a man with bright red hair with white ribbons on his body, while he smiles, radiating joy and light to everyone who looks at him. But the wonderful moment was interrupted and Jimmy quickly regained his breath when a police car horn sounded behind him and a warning:
"Taxi driver, please provide assistance: open the back door of the car and place your palms on the steering wheel. Thank you for your help.
Damn, so this handsome guy has a problem with the law? That's the last thing Jimmy needs. It's enough that Neo will definitely get mad at him because of the car.
Jimmy opened the back door and put his hands on the steering wheel while the police attached a cable to his car to get closer. Jimmy looked in the rearview mirror, which was a mistake, because he saw the pleading look of the red-haired man and the hesitantly spoken words, "Please help me," as if he was saying them for the first time, but knew their meaning. There were tears in his crescent eyes, and full lower lip was shaking in supplication.
He's making a mistake, he knows it, but he can't resist those trembling eyes.
"Neo's going to kill me," Jimmy muttered and, turning on the engine, dived down, steering the car through the stream of frantic traffic, hiding in the thick fog on the ground.
💨
When he knocked on the door, he was not kept waiting long. He almost immediately heard the sound of footsteps, and the metal door opened. The man in the hoodie looked at the newcomers in confusion: a shabby blond man with attentive bean eyes was holding a man in white ribbons, who was unconscious. The man was not surprised. He's seen more than that.
"The priest is on the floor below." he replied indifferently, trying to close the door, but Jimmy impatiently pushed the man aside, entering his room uninvited.
"We don't need a priest. This guy is looking for Father Off."
A man in a hoodie looks at strangers, trying to remember them.
"But I do not know him."
"No one knows. He fell into my taxi, he doesn't have any documents with him. He's talking some kind of rubbish. There is only a tattoo on his arm."
Father Off went up to the red-haired guy and took his hand in his own. When he saw the lines of the four elements on his wrist, he stretched out to the string. His eyes widened in shock.
"This is… This… This is.... This is..." he muttered, unable to utter a word. "This is The Fifth element." He exhaled in one breath and fainted.
Jimmy, surrounded by unconscious bodies, began to lose patience.
Putting the redhead on the sofa, he sat Father Off in an armchair and slapped him in the face to bring him to his senses. One strong army cotton was enough for the reverend to come to his senses.
"Who are you?" Father Off asked Jimmy.
"I came with a red-haired guy." Jimmy nodded towards the sofa on which his unexpected passenger was lying. Father Off, remembering what had happened, briskly got up from his chair and went over to look at the red-haired guy. "He fell from the sky into my taxi, talking gibberish."
"This is not gibberish!" Father Off was indignant. "This is the divine language spoken by the most ancient civilizations, and he..." Father Off broke off, looking at the red-haired guy once more, as if he could not believe his eyes. "He is the most valuable gift sent to us. I have to change my clothes to greet him properly. Wake him up, but only gently, I beg you. This man… He's perfect." And Father Off elated ran into another room.
"Perfect..." Jimmy said thoughtfully, carefully sitting down on the sofa to wake up this perfect.
Well, that was the truest word that could be applied to this man.
Jimmy gently stroked the red-haired man's cheek, feeling the perfectly smooth skin under his fingers.
"Hey, perfect, wake up," he asked softly, but the red-haired man did not react. Mesmerized, yielding to an impulse, Jimmy lowered his head and lightly, barely touching, touched the lips of perfection with his lips. There was an immediate click of an activated weapon aimed at his head. "You're right, you're right. I shouldn't have done that. You're absolutely right."
"Ekto gamat." The red-haired man hissed in displeasure, aiming at Jimmy. He crawled out of the sofa, never taking his eyes off Jimmy for a second.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But do you remember me?" Jimmy stared hopefully at the red-haired guy, trying to see a hint of recognition in his eyes. "Taxi, remember? Big bada boom."
"Bada boom." The redhead repeated, savoring the words. He remembered how he met Jimmy.
"Yes, that's right, bada boom. I'm Jimmy. A taxi driver. Do you understand?" Jimmy handed him a business card, which the red-haired man abruptly snatched out of his hands. At least he's fine with concentration and attention, so there's no concussion. "There's my number, call me as soon as you speak Thai."
The redhead looked at the business card from all sides, not understanding anything, but still holding Jimmy at gunpoint. The red-haired man's hand did not shake. If it hadn't been for a couple of scratches on his perfect face, Jimmy would never have believed that he had fallen from a great height in his taxi.
"I'm Jimmy, what's your name?" It was harder than it looks. Jimmy pointed at himself. "Jimmy, what about you?" He pointed at the red-haired man. He seemed to understand what Jimmy wanted from him, so he told him his name, which made Jimmy's head spin. If someone complains to him that Thai names are difficult, he will tell them this guy's name, if, of course, he can repeat it someday. "Okay, is that all your name? Well, is there a short version?" He measured the estimated size of the name with his fingers. "Short name." Jimmy insisted, and got the answer:
"Sea."
Sea. Great. Perfection even has a perfect name.
"Sea. Good. Sea. Jimmy. Jimmy. Sea." he pointed alternately at himself, then at Sea. The redhead apparently understood, the corner of his mouth curled into a smile. "God, where did you fall from like that?" muttered Jimmy as Father Off and his Novice Tay burst into the room.
Father Off was in formal attire with signs embroidered on his clothes that matched Sea's tattoos. He was holding a golden key in his hands. Tay, who was hiding behind him, was shocked by what he saw, but he was even more frightened by the cannon in Sea's hand aimed at them, and his reverent face as he looked at the golden key.
"Khun Jimmy, thank you for your help," Father Off said hurriedly later as he impatiently ushered Jimmy out the door. Jimmy struggled a little, looking back at Sea, who was still holding the gun aimed at the shaking Tay. "You have provided invaluable help to humanity, and now our guest needs to rest, he came from far away."
"I guessed," Jimmy nodded, but one thought did not give him rest, so before the door had time to close behind him, he asked: "Father, I didn't understand something, or rather I didn't understand anything. What does 'ekto gamat' mean?"
"You should have asked first." Father Off translated to him, after which he slammed the metal door.
"I knew it," Jimmy muttered.
🔥
The taxi was falling apart, but somehow it was transportable and made it to the parking lot at Jimmy's condo. The police fired bullets at her from all sides as they walked away from the chase, the passenger door was missing, and the cherry on the cake –or a hole in the pit–was the broken roof of the car. Neo will kill him.
Zero stars on the driver's license. Damn, it will be very difficult to restore it and it will take about one month. You may have to take the exams again. He hadn't discovered anything heavier than comics and manga for a long time.
Upon entering the apartment, Jimmy heard the plaintive meowing of his cat.
"Oh, Money, I'm sorry, I forgot to leave food for you. Now, honey, now." Jimmy bustled around, opening the refrigerator. Unlike him, there was food in the fridge for the cat. Jimmy examined G4 cereal box, but found nothing in it to eat for himself. I'll have to order a takeaway.
While he was pouring Money's food into a bowl, his phone rang.
Jimmy didn't even have to look to know who was calling. He took a deep breath and answered the phone:
"Hello, Neo. The car is fine."
"Mhor, I know that the word 'fine' is missing from your dictionary. Okay, if the car is fine, why don't I see it in the garage? Where are you?" Neo's voice sounded mocking. Jimmy would never have been able to deceive this guy, because he himself was a great expert in deception and lie detection.
"When I was about to go to the garage, a passenger sat down for me, whom I could not refuse." Jimmy smiled, scratching his neck, remembering Sea's beautiful face.
"Well, well. And who is this passenger who could not be refused?"
Jimmy's smile widened, his eyes were dreamy, because an image immediately surfaced in front of him, leaving an imprint that would appear in dreams for a long time.
"Height 180 cm, sparkling crescent eyes, flawless body. You know. Perfect."
Neo laughed approvingly.
"Mhor, did you even have time to ask what your perfect's name is?"
Jimmy closed his eyes. Perfect had a perfect name.
"Sea."
🏜️
Thai food, apart from meeting Sea, was the best thing that happened to Jimmy this crappy Sunday afternoon. I mean, the first half of the day was shit, then there was a meeting with Sea, and Jimmy thought it was a great end to the day, but the day turned to shit again when Neo said Jimmy was fired. Well, that was to be expected. Now he is unemployed again and he no longer has friends who could give him a new means of earning money.
While Jimmy was finishing his cigarette, listening to his mother's outpourings on the phone, when she had already told countless times that he needed to forget about a failed relationship and finally get married, and then abruptly began to complain of back pain and said how ungrateful Jimmy was, and that all the joys went to him, and about his mother he's not worried a damn thing, Jimmy couldn't stand it and interrupted the incoherent flow of his mother's speech:
"Mom, I don't understand anything. What are you talking about?"
"Jimmy, darling, you won a trip to Paradise. Your name has been trumpeted on all neural networks for an hour."
"What are you talking about? I only ate these G4 flakes once and sent a coupon as a joke. It doesn't happen that way. Thousands of people are sending coupons and they don't win anything, but I won by sending one coupon?"
"Baby, you're finally lucky. So are you going to take your mom to Paradise?"
Before Jimmy could answer her, he saw an image of three men in military uniforms on the display. Jimmy will never forget the color of this uniform, because until recently he himself wore one, only with a cross bandage, since he was a doctor.
Damn, what brought the military uniforms here?
Jimmy promised his still restless mother to call later, and let the three military men inside.
"Lieutenant, to what do I owe your presence here?"
The lieutenant and his entourage were inspecting Jimmy's small apartment. The lieutenant's gaze immediately turned to the shelf with his trophies.
"Nice apartment, Mhor. I heard that you have become unemployed?" Jimmy clicked his tongue, realizing what was going on and he didn't like it.
"Don't worry, Lieutenant, I'll find another job."
"Mhor, you already have a job. You are assigned an important task: to fly to Paradise, pick up the stones from the space opera diva Viceversa and return to Earth. Any questions?"
Jimmy scratched his head as he listened to all this. He ended his military career, his relationship broke up because of his military service, and now he has to get into it again? Apparently, this task was personally approved by the President, seeing his stamp on a transparent sheet, it means that the matter is serious and dangerous.
"Lieutenant, I've been out of business for a long time, and besides, I'm a doctor."
"Mhor, you've been to a lot of hot spots and returned from there alive, unlike your squad. You have a license to drive six types of space vehicles (we have restored your asterisks to 500 asterisks, is that enough for you?). You have medical knowledge, combat training and possession of several types of weapons. Well, in conclusion, only you are alive from the squad."
Jimmy smashed the wall lamp he was leaning on, not at all embarrassing the lieutenant. He thought he was done with military games, but apparently there will never be an end to it.
"Huh," Jimmy sighed, finally realizing, "so the winnings were rigged?"
"It was easier that way. Besides, I see you're a fan of G4 cereal." The lieutenant replied, seeing an empty lunch box in the trash.
Jimmy looked at the lieutenant, intending to brush him off harshly, but saw a bright red head on the screen and his eyes widened in disbelief. Is Sea here? God, what would happen if the military saw him? He has no documents, Sea may have problems with them, as the police were looking for him.
He turned to face the military, covering the screen with himself.
"What happened, Mhor? Who's there?" The lieutenant asked.
Jimmy was thinking hard.
"My fiance."
"Fiance? Are you thinking of getting married? You just recently broke up with your girlfriend." The lieutenant was confused.
"Uh, yeah, well... it's love at first sight, and I can't live without his anymore. He knows that the army broke my past relationship, so he hates the military. Please, you have to hide, Lieutenant." Jimmy was talking some bullshit and did not understand what he was talking about. He reminded me of Sea, who also said some incomprehensible things.
Not waiting for the lieutenant and his men to start protesting, Jimmy shoved them into the closet, pressing them so tightly against each other, but they could have broken each other's noses, and closed the door. The closet automatically moved down and the shower moved out in its place.
After checking that everything was fine, Jimmy smoothed his blond hair and hurriedly opened the door. He didn't want to keep perfect waiting.
Sea, seeing Jimmy, smiled, waving his hand. The crescent eyes disappeared, the cheeks puffed out. Jimmy tried to persuade himself not to touch this guy in order to avoid accidents, but it was very difficult for him to keep himself from squeezing those soft cheeks in his palms.
"Pipolai." Greeted Sea. His gentle, deep voice resonated through all the strings of Jimmy's soul. Sea managed to change his clothes, taking off his white ribbons, into flesh-colored leggings, showing off in all its glory his long athletic legs and a white crop top.
Jimmy hesitantly raised his hand to wave to him too, but then Father Off appeared in front of Sea with a gun in his hand, pointing at Jimmy. God, what a disgusting Sunday afternoon.
"I'm sorry that I have to resort to such Khun Jimmu..." Father Off began, pushing back the hood of his hoodie, but Jimmy corrected him:
"Jimmy."
Father Off was a little shy.
"Oh, of course, Khun Jimmy, but we've heard about your prize –a trip to Paradise. We need your tickets."
Sea was curiously looking around Jimmy's apartment, holding his insignia in his hands and looking at the photos.
"Has Father Off decided to relax a little on the beaches of Paradise? Is that how the holy fathers rest?" grinned Jimmy.
"My son, we are not going on vacation. We are saving the world."
Oh, okay, well, there's nothing worse than this Sunday afternoon, Jimmy's convinced of that.
Sirens sounded in the hallway, and the lights in the room flickered. The check came, or worse: the police came for Sea.
Jimmy, who was standing with his hands up a second ago, took advantage of the fact that Father trembled from the sudden sirens like a leaf in the wind, quickly grabbed the surprised Sea and pushed him into the shower stall.
"Don't touch anything," Jimmy shushed him. The shower went upstairs. Jimmy threw Father Off on the bed.
"What are you doing?" Father Off was indignant.
"Saving you so you can save the world," Jimmy declared, and the bed slid into a niche in the wall.
Jimmy stood facing the wall with his palms on the yellow circles. Please let them just scan the room and leave. If they find Sea here, they'll all be in trouble.
The waiting was exhausting. It seems like at least an hour has passed, although no more than a couple of minutes have passed. The police finished their rounds and apparently found the culprit they were looking for, judging by the screams coming from the corridor.
When the condo became quiet, Jimmy went to the control panel and lowered the shower stall down. Oh, he had completely forgotten that there was a autowash on the floor above.
Sea was soaked to the skin. Wet red hair fell over his forehead, blocking the view of his beautiful crescent eyes. His clothes, which already hid nothing, were wet and outlined every line of his perfect body. Sea hugged himself by the shoulders in the hope of keeping warm. His lips were shaking from the cold.
Jimmy came running with a towel in his hand, which he covered Sea's shoulders and began to rub them to warm the man. "I forgot that there is autowash on the top floor."
"A-Auto... autowash." Sea repeated, trying a new unfamiliar word on his tongue.
"That's right, autowash," Jimmy praised him, continuing to rub his shoulders with a towel. They were standing so close to each other that he could feel his body trembling, but other than that, he could feel all its bulges. Oh, Lord, forgive him, for he is a sinner. "You know, I thought it was a shitty Sunday, but apparently I was wrong. We met twice today and I hug you twice. Today must be a very lucky day." Their breaths were mixed. Jimmy pushed aside his wet red bangs a little to see Sea's eyes. They shone like stars in the night sky. His moist lips parted and trembled slightly. If Jimmy hadn't known the circumstances, he would have thought it was an invitation. They were so inviting to be touched…
"L-Lucky day," Sea repeated in a trembling voice, savoring the word.
"That's right," Jimmy whispered, leaning closer to Sea, his grip on his shoulders getting a little stronger.
Would it be too much of him if he touched those lips? Solely for the purpose of warming Sea and nothing else. Would it be okay if he asked for permission this time?
They heard strange muffled sounds and Jimmy asked Sea if he could hear them too. Sea nodded.
"O-Off." he breathed, and Jimmy remembered that he had put it on the bed to hide it. The bed was automatically covered with polyethylene to protect the laundry from dust when it moved into the niche. God, is Father Off suffocated yet?
Jimmy pulled out the bed and saw Father Off covered with a shrink-wraps. Jimmy hurried to cut the polyethylene so that Father could breathe.
"I'm sorry, Father," Jimmy muttered, putting Father Off's clothes in order. He apologized to everyone today. What a day!
Father Off was trying to shake off Jimmy's hands. They saw movement out of the corner of their eyes and turned around. Sea had taken off his crop top and was now pulling off his wet leggings along with his underwear. The men hurriedly turned away. Sea must have had absolutely no sense of awkwardness, and was not shy about nudity. It wasn't that Jimmy was shy about nudity, it was just that he wasn't ready to show it in front of unnecessary witnesses.
Awkwardly shifting from foot to foot, Jimmy offered Father Off a cup of coffee.
"Good," Father Off mumbled, still not daring to turn to Sea. He could hear him wringing out his wet clothes.
Noticing that Jimmy was standing with his back to him, making coffee and muttering something about the not very good taste of this drink, Father Off looked at the shelf with trophies, found a gold cup with words of thanks and, after praying and asking for forgiveness, hit Jimmy on the head, and he lost consciousness.
"Do no harm!" Sea shouted at Father Off when he saw Jimmy's limp body. Sea had already wrung out his clothes and changed back into them. It was still wet, but not wet anymore.
"I know, I know," Father Off admitted his mistake, but justified himself by saying that it was for the benefit of the whole world, so he grabbed Paradise tickets from the shelf. The world will thank them again.
🌊
The airport was crowded, but not with people, but with a pile of garbage. Jimmy was walking to the front desk, where he saw Sea's bright red hair. Thanks to this: his hair was like a lantern in a dark forest, and Jimmy walked to its light like a moth to warmth. Next to Sea was that twitchy guy from Father Off's house named Tay, and he was talking to a friendly blonde behind the counter in a blue uniform.
Sea saw Jimmy from a distance and pointed at him with his fingers, trying to explain to Tay that Jimmy was here. Jimmy grabbed Tay's shoulder hard, holding him in place. Not that Tay could have escaped, most likely Tay would have fainted. His face fell into a grimace of horror when he saw Jimmy in front of him.
"Ugh, I was almost late," Jimmy breathed, pulling Tay's fake multipass out of the tray and handing it to him. "Thanks, Tay, for trying to register me, but there's no need, I managed." Quietly through his teeth, so that only Tay could hear, Jimmy growled at him: "Get out." And again, as if nothing had happened, turned to the girl behind the counter.
Tay, fighting for his life, hurried to escape before Jimmy left a wet spot on him.
Jimmy put his multipass in the slot.
"I'm Jimmy Potiwihok. And this..." He turned to Sea, who was shaking his fake multipass in the air.
"Sea Potiwihok. Multipass." said Sea, stubbornly saying the last word.
"Sweetheart, she knows what a multipass is, give it here. This is my husband."
"Your husband?" the girl at the front desk asked, looking at Sea's strange behavior in surprise. Jimmy did not try to explain to her that even in the morning, Sea had no idea what a multipass was and spoke in some gibberish, oops, sorry, in a divine language.
"Yes, we are newlyweds. We met, felt the spark, the storm, the madness. Well, you know how it happens." Jimmy muttered, holding Sea by the waist, because he was trying to pull the multipass out of the tray and was disappointed that it was taken away from him.
The girl at the front desk nodded and registered their tickets.
"Have a nice flight, Khun Potiwihok."
He and Sea passed through passport control, where another girl in a blue uniform, seeing Jimmy's name, dragged him into another corridor. Sea waved at him as Jimmy turned to look at him.
"Multipass." shouted Sea, as if that word could solve all the problems.
"Oh, Khun Jimmy is just lucky," the blonde in the blue uniform chattered as she led Jimmy down the hallway. "It's a great honor to be on Mark Pakin's show. His broadcasts are breaking records for the number of views."
"Listen," Jimmy stopped the girl. "I'm resting here. I'm on a honeymoon and I want anonymity."
The girl nodded understandingly, but it was too late. The lights in the hallway flickered, uplifting music played, and the show's host, Mark Pakin, appeared. He was wearing semi-transparent provocative shorts, oddly shaped glasses over his eyes, and he was crawling on the floor, twisting and bouncing.
"Jimmy Potiwihok!"Mark Pakin announced, crawling up to Jimmy. He was panting, he was excited, and he looked at Jimmy like he was his precious. "The winner of G4 competition, in which the prize was a trip to Paradise. Wow, what a lucky guy! Well, tolek, say something hot."
The microphone was pointed at Jimmy. He looked at this thing as if it was something strange and said uncertainly:
"Hi." Anything to get away from him.
Mark exhaled and crawled further down the corridor, and his entire entourage, holding Jimmy by the arm, reached for Mark. "Tomorrow from five to seven you will learn everything about Jimmy Potiwihok: his passions, his fears, stories from his personal life. He'll tell us everything, won't he, tolek?"
The microphone was pointed at Jimmy. What kind of slapstick is this?
"Not really."
"What a scoundrel! I love it. See you live tomorrow!"
The broadcast ended and Mark Pakin soulful face was replaced by discontent. He walked over to Jimmy.
"Jimmy, tolek, where's the fire? Where is the courage? What was that? "Not really"? And what should I do about it? How do I sell this to people? Do you understand, tolek? Tomorrow, from five to seven, make sure that you can say more than two words. Don't stand like a mushroom in a clearing, green?"
Jimmy is tired of all this rubbish. He took Mark by the arm, led him around a corner where there were no witnesses and quietly threatened him, lifting him off the ground by the throat:
"Listen here, I'm not fucking Frodo here to accompany you. Tomorrow from five to seven you will have fun on your own, green?"
"Very green," hissed Mark Pakin, gasping for air. Sunday was a hard day for everyone.
After asking the attendants if anyone had seen Sea Potiwihok, one of the girls in the blue uniform confirmed that all the passengers, including Sea, had been registered and were already on the spaceship. Jimmy went up into the ship to the sleep pods. His sleep capsule was for two. Sea was lying on his stomach, looking at the screen with interest. Images and inscriptions flashed on the screen very quickly. Jimmy didn't have time to read them or see anything, but Sea seemed to keep up with the rapid movements of the pictures.
When he saw Jimmy, Sea greeted him.
"Hello." This time it sounded like Jimmy's native language.
"Did you speak our language?"
"Yes," Sea nodded. "I'm a very fast learner." He pronounced each word slowly.
"Sea, listen to me. We're not on vacation right now, do you understand? The matter is very serious and dangerous."
Sea nodded.
"Don't worry. I am The Fifth element. I protect you from evil." Sea smiled reassuringly and Jimmy thought that this smile needed to be protected from all threats in the world. "Sleep," Sea said, and Jimmy fell into a deep sleep.
💨
Paradise was really paradise. A huge hotel on the planet Fhloston, with a wonderful mild climate incomparable to Earth. Jimmy woke up late to find that Sea was no longer in the sleep capsule. People have already begun to descend from their sleep capsules and fill the corridors of the ship. Jimmy, afraid that he had lost sight of Sea, hurried down the corridor, pushing people to get to the hotel as soon as possible, but he did not find Sea in the room.
Jimmy knew from the technical assignment that the lieutenant had given him that he had to take the stones from a contact, the opera diva Viceversa. Her performance was scheduled for today in the great hall at 5 p.m. Just at the same time that Mark Pakin's stupid show starts. Thinking about it, Jimmy massaged his temples. Everything seemed pretty simple: listen to the performance, go up to the diva after the concert and take the stones from her and bring them to Earth with Sea. Judging by the assignment, Sea was also needed by the military for, as they say, saving the world, so Sea needed to be guarded as hard as the stones. It's not that Jimmy wasn't going to do it, on the contrary, he would only do it without leaving Sea's side 24 hours a day.
When it was time for the concert, Jimmy changed into a first-class tuxedo and went down to the hall, looking around, trying to find a familiar red head, but to no avail. Apparently Sea decided to hide without attracting too much attention to himself, which was rational, given that Mark Pakin is here with his stupid show and completely unnecessary attention from a huge number of people.
Speaking of the show. Mark Pakin was already in the audience, as always extravagant and with a microphone in his hand. He was wearing a neat black suit in front, but as soon as he turned around, Jimmy saw that the suit was completely missing from behind, offering others to familiarize themselves with Mark's translucent underwear. Jimmy would have been glad to turn away, but Mark was already heading his way, pushing past others. His show has already started.
He glared at Jimmy, who greeted the audience without enthusiasm, and then began to introduce the guests who had arrived in the great hall to listen to the diva's performance. Their seats were in the front row with a beautiful view of the black starry sky.
The curtain rose, the Diva stood on the stage, attracting attention and universal silence. The pink dress matched the color of her pink skin, flowing down her body to the floor. The alien looked around at everyone and sang an amazing aria. No one knew what she was singing about, but the song seemed to be full of hope and faith, making everyone in the hall feel the vibration from the soles of their feet rising up to their very hearts.
Monday night was truly magnificent.
🔥
Sea was waiting at the diva's room for the end of the concert. Earlier, one of the diva's followers reported that the Diva Viceversa would hand over the stones after the end of the concert. Sea sat in the corner of the corridor, leaning back against the wall and thinking about his mission. Sea was created for this purpose – that was his only purpose – to bring light when the world is shrouded in darkness. He's done it before, and now it's time to do it again. He had been sleeping for so long, for 5000 years, and had been awake for a little over a day, but to be honest, he was already very tired. Studying the information about what he missed during his sleep, Sea managed to see a lot of what people had created during this time, and he was impressed. From an ordinary community, humanity has grown into a civilization, although not as advanced as the Mondoshawans, but also admirable. They have created incredible things that Mondoshawans have never had, but humans have also created things that sow evil and destruction. Sea did not understand why the Mondoshawans took the Earthlings under their protection? Were their deaths worth it to protect the Earth from evil at the cost of their lives?
Sea thought, but couldn't find an answer. And he probably shouldn't have been looking for an answer. He is an ideal warrior, his goal is protection. He shouldn't be thinking.
Having thought so far about the human nature of destruction, Sea did not notice how armed Mangalores broke into the diva's room. This race was responsible for the fact that the Mondoshawan ship, on which they and Sea were flying, crashed. An irrepressible rage spread through Sea's body when he remembered this. His fists clenched until his fingers crunched, and his nails dug into his skin.
With one abrupt movement, he got up and burst into the room, where the Mangalores had already begun to turn her bags and luggage upside down, trying, of course, to find the stones.
Sea hit the nearest humanoid in the back of the head with a running kick, causing him to fall to the floor, attracting the attention of everyone present. The clothes he was wearing turned out to be comfortable for this kind of thing, and without hesitation, he lifted his leg to hit the second asshole, knocking the automatic weapon out of his hands.
Sea was very flexible and agile, staying in his peak form. It didn't matter how many Mangalores came here, he would deal with them all. He must do this to avenge the innocent dead Mondoshawans.
🏜️
Monday was as disgusting as Sunday.
Jimmy came to this conclusion when he had to stop the blood of Diva Viceversa, wounded by the Mangalores. They took over the great hall, taking the hostages out into the hotel lobby. Jimmy and Mark Pakin were in the front row with the injured diva and one Mangalores taken hostage, so to speak. Mark Pakin, who was supposed to hold the Mangalores at gunpoint, was shaking so much that the cannon could ricochet and shoot anyone at any second.
"Jimmy, tolek, I'm not feeling well, I feel sick," Mark whined, shaking with the gun in his hand.
Jimmy tried to focus on the diva's bleeding. Pink blood soaked his jacket, which he used to stop the bleeding, but everything seemed pointless and the end was clear to both of them.
"You have to give him the stones." The diva said in her smooth voice. Her sounded quiet, but also melodious, as if she was still shining on stage, and not dying in his arms.
"Who?"
" The Fifth element. He was sent to Earth to save the universe."
"Sea?"
“Yes. But he's vulnerable too. He needs your help and your love, otherwise he will die too."
"Wait," Jimmy shook the diva to bring her to her senses. "I beg you, tell me where the stones are?"
"In me," the diva replied, dying.
"What does that mean?" Jimmy whispered softly, quietly feeling the diva's stomach and realizing that under his fingers in some places the skin was stretched to the limit.
He did something that made Mark Pakin really sick.
🌊
Jimmy made his way to the command post, where the Mangalores captured the crew members. Thinking that he really wanted to go on vacation to a truly heavenly place and, which he would later beat out of the lieutenant for the special services rendered to him to save the world, Jimmy acted as an uncompromising parliamentarian and pulled the crew members out of the capture. Father Off was handcuffed among the prisoners.
Freed from his shackles, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, Father Off apologized to Jimmy for hitting him on the head and took tickets to the ship.
"Come on, Father Off, I remember that you saved the universe." Jimmy muttered, watching the surveillance cameras and looking for traces of Sea.
The words of the Diva Viceversa scared him. He had not seen Sea since landing and it was unknown what had happened to him, especially when the Mangalores attacked the hotel. Looking closely at the screens, he noticed a hand sticking out of the ventilation grate. It was the diva's apartment and Jimmy, with Father Off and a breathless Mark clutching Jimmy's jacket full of rocks to his chest, headed there.
An unconscious hand was indeed hanging out of the vent. Jimmy pulled over the piano to get up and pull Sea out.
"How did you get in there? I find you in strange places all the time and hold you in my arms," Jimmy said softly as he lowered the red-haired man down. He was bruised and bleeding from minor wounds and was exhausted, but as far as Jimmy could tell from looking at him, nothing serious had happened to Sea. "It's all right, Sea, I have the stones," he said, stroking Sea's head. Tired eyelids opened slightly and Jimmy saw a small glow in his eyes – the joy that the stones had finally been found.
Mark Pakin, holding his side, was not looking at the scene unfolding in front of him, but at the mechanism with moving numbers on the door.
"Father Off, tolek, do you know what this is?" Mark clung to Father Off's shoulder with a dead grip.
Looking at the countdown, Father Off tried to catch his breath to pronounce what, in fact, this mechanism looked like. Mark shook his head vigorously.
"No, no, and no. It's impossible. If it had been a bomb (he seemed to say the last word softly, as if he was afraid that he would be heard), the detectors would have worked. The hotel is full of them." Someone finally heard him. Sirens filled the entire hotel, announcing the immediate evacuation.
Jimmy took Sea in his arms and, urging Mark and Father Off on, they all ran to the rescue ships.
Jimmy could drive six types of space transport. He had five hundred stars. But today was Monday, so he wasn't sure about anything. All they had to do was pray.
💨
Putting the ship on autopilot, Jimmy went to the cabin to keep an eye on Sea. Mark was sleeping the sleep of a child after everything that happened. Father Off looked at the stones with awe. Well, Jimmy looked at Sea in awe. He was freezing and shaking violently. Jimmy treated his wounds with the minimal set of items he could find in the medicine cabinet. He covered Sea with a blanket and tirelessly stroked his hand to keep him warm.
"You people are so strange..." Sea said softly. Although his voice was trembling, his eyes remained clear. The Diva was right: the strongest warrior was fragile and needed support.
"What do you mean?" asked Jimmy, listening intently. Sea's speech was getting better and better. He was really learning fast.
"You create things, but you use them for evil."
"Yes," Jimmy confirmed, ashamed on behalf of all people, "this is called human nature. You haven't seen it on screen yet?"
"I got to the letter "P", but I haven't seen anything related to this word."
"You still have a lot to learn." Jimmy smiled at him encouragingly. "It's a good letter. There are amazing words on the "P".
"For example?" Sea's curious, eager eyes looked at Jimmy expectantly.
Jimmy stroked his knuckles, feeling the warm red-haired man under his hands.
"Protect... Prowess..." Jimmy thought about it, and then, thinking, looking straight into Sea's eyes, he uttered a word that he associates exclusively with Sea: "Perfect".
Sea closed his eyes, trembling all over, but the hand that was clutching Jimmy's hand was completely warm.
🔥
Tay was already waiting for them at the temple. When he saw Jimmy, he swallowed noisily and moved aside to let him go ahead. Jimmy and Sea walked into a large hall lit by lamps.
There was a pedestal in the center, where Jimmy lowered the trembling Sea. He asked Father Off what they should do and he told him that in theory, you need to place the stones around the Fifth Element, activate them, and the weapon against evil is ready. But everything was in theory. None of Father Off's predecessors left a more detailed manual with precise instructions.
After walking around the four pillars, they realized in what order to place the stones on them, but the most difficult thing was to activate the stones.
Jimmy ran to Sea, taking his face in his hands.
"Sea, sweetheart, tell us how to activate the stones?"
All hope was for the semi-conscious Fifth Element, who was damn tired and would like to sleep for the next 5000 years.
Sea barely opened his eyes, staring blearily at Jimmy.
"The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, the fire... is burning..." Sea did not finish, his eyelids closed.
"What the hell are these charades for?" shouted Mark. His bare ass was shaking from the dark coming from the sky. Time was running out.
"It's not going to work," Tay breathed out resignedly, holding back tears. And suddenly he noticed how the walls of the stone opened a little. God, did he break a stone? Taking a breath, Tay noticed a small blue glow near the stone. "Jimmy!" he called to the doctor, pointing with his fingers at the stone, stamping on the spot.
When Jimmy saw the blue glow at the stone, he asked what Tay had done to open the stone.
"I just said, 'it's not going to work,' and it just became that way," Tay repeated his ritual.
"It can't be, you're hiding something," Mark said, looking suspiciously at Tay.
"I swear, that's it," Tay insisted.
They were swearing so hard, breathing hard, that the light of the stone became even brighter, and then Jimmy realized what Sea's words meant. He pushed the cursing idiots away and blew on the stone. Finally, the stone shone completely skyblue.
"You blew," Jimmy said to Tay, without taking his eyes off this unearthly beauty of radiance. "A water stone needs water, an earth stone needs earth, a fire stone needs fire."
Father Off immediately ran to the water stone because he burst into tears. Salty drops fell on the stone, causing a blue light, but Off still couldn't stop crying, bending over the stone. It was truly wonderful.
"Hey, stop crying," Mark grabbed Father Off by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to the firestone, while Tay covered the earthstone with sand.
Mark and Father Off faced an important dilemma – how to find the fire. The 23rd century, the age of LED light bulbs, not torches. There are no stones or sticks to light a fire.
"Jimmy, Jimmy, tolek!" Mark's voice trembled. "I don't have a lighter, I lead a healthy lifestyle. Is there someone who smokes?"
Everyone shook their heads, looking at each other. Are they really going to screw up one step away from winning? Shitty Monday, burn in hell, where there is a lot of fire.
Jimmy fumbled in his pants pocket for a matchbox. He has a limit of 4 cigarettes a day, so he carries 4 matches with him to resist temptation. He smoked two cigarettes yesterday and one this morning. Jimmy swallowed. He knew how many matches he would find in the box.
Everyone stared at him, shocked by what they saw there.
"Fuck you," Mark said faintly. "Are you suggesting saving the world with one match? Jimmy, tolek, are you crazy?"
Tay mentally supported Mark, and Father Off hoped that at this very second a sudden draft would not come here, which would bury all their efforts.
Everyone held their breath. As luck would have it, Jimmy lit the match too high, although Father Off suggested doing it right above the stone, to be sure. They watched as, millimeter by millimeter, Jimmy lowered his hand with the match to the stone. The thin light flickered so strongly that they were sure it would go out right now.
They probably still had some luck on this shitty Monday, because a thin fiery flame touched the stone and a red light illuminated it. Mark collapsed from the strain into the arms of Tay, who himself was standing on his feet with God's help.
Jimmy picked up Sea in his arms, bringing him to his senses.
"Sea, darling, wake up. Help us. What should we do next?"
Sea was terribly weak. His mental strength was splashing at the very bottom, he did not feel strong and did not want to live. What he learned by looking at the screen while they were flying here will remain in front of his eyes for the rest of his life.
During the time he was sleeping, people created strange, terrifying things to kill not only themselves, but also life. Humans would have to be an advanced race, develop, gain new knowledge, and generate it into a beneficial stream. But in the 5000 years that Sea has been sleeping, people have become much angrier, more selfish, more terrible. He doesn't want to save them. He wants to go against his creator, against his destiny.
"Humans are scary creatures," Sea whispered, crying. "You sow only evil everywhere."
"Yes, Sea, it may seem that this is the case, but there is a lot of light in us that is worth fighting for. I told you, those words with the letter "P", remember? We have a lot that can and should be saved." Jimmy paused, looking into the deep lakes of Sea's eyes and whispered softly: "We have love."
Sea's eyelashes fluttered, blinking away tears. The lakes in his eyes filled with water again.
"I do not know what love is." Sea shook his head, refusing to look at Jimmy. "I was created to protect, not to love."
Jimmy took Sea's face in his hands so that he could only look at him, at nothing else.
"I'll show you what love is," Jimmy said, kissing Sea's salty lips.
Time seemed to stop, and then a huge stream of white light burst out of Sea's body, which could not be held, but Jimmy clung to Sea with all his might.
When the beam ran out, Sea stretched out in Jimmy's arms. The darkness had gone over their heads and now there was a cloudless blue sky. Father Off was praying with his hands up, and Tay and Mark leaned against each other and fainted.
Shitty Monday is over.
5️⃣
It was Tuesday morning when the President of the Federation visited the Institute of Genetic Engineering, where Jimmy and Sea were in the general diagnostic chamber. Sea was injured and weak and recovering after giving his all to create the ray and save humanity. Jimmy was injured, but not weak. He volunteered to accompany Sea. He could not allow anyone to look at the savior of mankind, at the perfect Fifth Element with imperfect thoughts. Jimmy's gaze pinned everyone to the wall as a completely naked Sea was being taken for examination. Jimmy followed the gurney, glaring at anyone who tried to stare at Sea. In the end, he couldn't resist throwing his sweaty, tattered shirt over Sea's body. Perhaps this piece of cloth was useless, but it covered something that no one had the right to look at. Later, he will ask Sea again to return to the letter "S", and in particular to the word 'shame', because Sea must understand that undressing in front of anyone other than Jimmy is unacceptable.
They climbed into the diagnostic chamber, under the ultraviolet rays, together, since the size of the camera allowed. Jimmy, as gently as possible, hinted that no one dares to look at Sea while he is– naked – healing wounds under the ultraviolet. The head of the department understood Jimmy and covered the camera with a casing, blocking visibility from everyone in the hall.
The ultraviolet color illuminated them both, starting the treatment. Jimmy rolled over on his stomach, looking at Sea, lying on his back and not sensitive to ultraviolet light. They looked at each other in complete silence. The chamber was airtight. They didn't hear any sounds from outside, and no one could hear them either - Jimmy also gently hinted about this, and the head of the department understood him.
He promised Sea that they would definitely rest, go somewhere on vacation. They damn well saved the world. Humanity can repay them by going somewhere to bask in the sun. He didn't need anything: the beach, the silence and Sea. That would be perfect. The perfect place with the perfect Sea.
Jimmy swallowed, watching the wounds on Sea's body begin to heal under the ultraviolet light. He ran his hand through his hair, which was purple in this cell. Their softness and silkiness drove him crazy.
"You promised to show me..." Sea bit his lip, looking at him innocently, "what love is." Sea reminded him, and Jimmy could only admire the memory of this perfect man.
"Will you let me?" Jimmy lowered himself to his face, but stopped just a breath away. He remembers that last time Sea pointed a gun at him and was very angry that Jimmy did not ask permission, and even though there were no weapons in the cell now, Jimmy was dealing with a perfect being: strong, beautiful, dangerous, sexy – in general, absolute perfect, and perfect must be consider with.
Jimmy felt Sea move and cross his long legs behind him.
"N'gamat," Sea replied.
"What does that mean?"
Sea did not answer. Instead, he pulled Jimmy to him, showing him how heavenly a vacation can be in the arms of a perfect man.