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Sukuna would rather rip his four arms off than admit that he was clingy. You were his personal guard. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it meant you’d be by his side constantly. It had everything to do with how Sukuna sometimes could just not be bothered with the sorcerers who would try to kill him. You sleeping in his room and sharing food with him had everything to do with not having his rest and meals interrupted, and nothing to do with spending time with you. Having you around constantly was just a side effect of him not wanting to be inconvenienced.
You ended up sharing a bed with Sukuna simply because it would be inconvenient for you to get sick or weakened from being too cold. It had absolutely nothing to do with Sukuna’s personal feelings wanting you physically close to him, and everything to do with it being a very cold winter. And when spring came, he was just too used to you being next to him at night to bother kicking you out of his bed. When the warmer nights came, you asked if you would be sleeping on your own again. He had simply scoffed at the question and pulled you into bed with him, muttering that it was “such a stupid question.”
Sukuna tried to write off his affections towards you as just trying to keep you content. It had nothing to do with how soft your hands were in his, or how his heart squeezed in his chest when you smiled at him. He just liked how it felt when your fingers brushed through his hair; it was secondary that it also felt so intimate to trust someone enough to relax when they touched him. He held you close to him through the night because it helped you sleep, not just because he craved being close to you. He had a justification for everything, and it never had anything to do with his personal feelings towards you.
So Sukuna’s rampage against the villagers who ambushed and killed you had everything to do with his annoyance at losing a favorite servant. It had nothing to do with the thought of lonely nights without you. It had nothing to do with the silent meals and empty bed in his future. It wasn’t because he’d never be able to hold you, or touch you, or hear your laugh again. It had nothing to do with the way his heart felt like it was ripping out of his chest. It had nothing to do with the fact that it felt like a part of him was dying with you. It had nothing (everything) to do with the fact that he had found your body with tears stained on your face and blood everywhere around you. You had suffered. They had made you suffer. And oh, you had taken a few of them down with you, but Sukuna could tell that they made you pay for fighting back. Now, he’d make them all pay for taking you from him.
