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Aura Blackquill wasn't particularly fond of Geiru Toneido. The woman was a murderer, after all. She would have been perfectly happy to steer clear of her, much like she did with everyone else in the prison.
Her brother, Simon, had been insisting she needed to make friends ever since she had been arrested, but it wasn't something she was interested in. She didn't need friends for the past several years. She could make it through a few more.
Still, there were promises to be kept.
And so she found herself eating meals alongside Geiru during the few days since she had arrived.
“Does this taste funny to you?” Geiru asked.
“I mean, it’s never really tasted great to begin with,” Aura responded. “I’m sorry it doesn’t live up to your expectations.”
“No, I mean like it’s spicy,” Geiru clarified.
“Nope. Still bland as ever. They wouldn’t waste seasoning on the likes of us.”
“Then why’s it making my mouth feel…” Geiru drifted off as her eyes widened in fear. “I think I’m having an allergic reaction.”
Now that Aura paid closer attention, she did notice that the other woman’s face was starting to look a bit red and swollen. She dropped her previous attitude.
“Oh, yeah. You’re allergic to buckwheat, right? How bad is it?” Aura started trying to mentally run through everything she knew about food allergies. Everyone knew about the type of reactions where people go into shock and epinephrine has to be administered, but not every allergy was severe enough to require such drastic measures.
“I don’t know how much I was exposed to. It musta been in the food somehow.” Geiru was starting to panic.
“Keep calm and tell the guards you need to go to medical,” Aura instructed her. “They should be able to help you there.”
Geiru got up and left in a hurry. Aura watched the woman until she was escorted away, then turned back to her own food. There was no need to keep worrying. The situation was passed off to someone else and it wasn’t Aura’s problem anymore.
As much as she tried to shake the feeling, she couldn’t stop it from nagging in the back of her mind.
“You’re free to go now.”
“That’s it?! All you did was give me some allergy pills! You’re not even gonna monitor me to make sure I don’t die?!”
“If your condition worsens, you can come back.”
Geiru left in a huff. First the prison couldn’t be bothered to keep the food from being contaminated, and now they didn’t care enough to do more than the bare minimum to help her after she got sick from their mistake.
But it seemed like at least someone cared.
“Blackquill, I already told you, you can't loiter in this hallway!”
“And I already told you, I'm waiting for someone!”
Aura was saved from getting in a fight with the guard when she noticed Geiru standing there. She waved for Geiru to follow her as she stalked off.
Aura Blackquill was kind of a mystery to Geiru. She knew Simon Blackquill had a sister and that she was in jail, but he didn’t talk about her much. Geiru could see somewhat of a family resemblance. For one, even though her hair had once been dyed purple, it had grown out a couple inches revealing its natural color to be black. But the similarities were more in the way they carried themselves. Aura seemed to always be scowling, closed off from the world, in a more extreme version of how Simon acted. Maybe it was just what prison does to a person.
The main difference between them was that Aura’s anger seemed sharper somehow. Less like a brick wall and more like she was ready to lash out at a moment’s notice. But for how much she always seemed standoffish and aggressive, she still followed Geiru around and seemed to try to help her.
When Geiru was first moved from the detention center into the main prison, it wasn’t long before Aura found her. After that, she seemed to make it her job to show Geiru the basics of how things worked around here. It was hard to tell how Aura felt towards her, though. She wasn’t exactly friendly, but she also kept doing unexpectedly nice things.
Early on, Geiru learned that the women’s prison apparently had an issue with being slow to issue uniforms to new inmates. Some people would spend weeks wearing the same clothes they were arrested in. But Aura took one look at the god awful clown dress and lent Geiru some of her own clothes so she would have something different to wear. Then she started inviting Geiru to sit together during meals.
Even while doing all this, Aura didn’t speak to her very much. Half the time when she did speak, it was to say something mean. It didn’t seem like a case of her just being kind of cold, but like she actually didn’t like Geiru. But she also seemed to care. It was confusing.
“That was fast. I would have expected them to take longer,” Aura said as they walked.
“They said they couldn’t do much unless I get worse. I got some pills but that’s it.”
“Is that going to be enough?”
“I dunno. Like I said, I don’t know how much I was exposed to.”
“Ugh. I’m going to go call my brother to see if he can put in some kind of complaint. I know we can’t expect great treatment in here, but reckless endangerment like this is going too far.” Aura turned to leave angrily.
“Wait!” Geiru interrupted her. “Can you stay with me? If I do get worse, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get help on my own. I might need someone who can do it for me.” She tried to keep the fear out of her voice.
Aura considered her for a moment, before sighing, seeming to release some of her previous anger. “Fine. I’ll stay.”
As they walked down the hall, Geiru remembered something that stood out to her earlier.
“How did you know I was allergic to buckwheat?”
If there was something that was worse than Aura’s constant scowling, it was when she smiled. It always had such a mean energy behind it.
“It's a crucial detail to telling the story of how the princess saved the day by figuring out it was udon noodles being made at the crime scene instead of soba.” She seemed to be enjoying rubbing Geiru’s defeat in her face.
“Princess?” Geiru racked her brain trying to figure out what that meant. “Oh, ya mean the lawyer girl? Ms. Cykes? Ya know her?”
Aura’s smile fell again as she looked away. “I used to. Not sure I can really say that anymore.”
It didn't really answer any more questions, but Geiru decided not to keep asking. They continued walking in silence.
When they got to Geiru’s cell, she went to her bunk to lay down, while Aura sat on the floor, slumped against the opposite wall. There continued to be a tense silence between them from earlier, but that was fine by Aura. When you were in here, you had to learn how to sit and do nothing because there was so little to do throughout the day. She wasn't interested in talking much, anyway.
She wasn't really sure what compelled her to agree to help. Checking to make sure if Geiru was alright could be written off as just wanting to make sure she had evidence to back up her raging against the injustices of the prison, but keeping her company wasn’t as easily explained. Maybe it was just out of obligation. But when the woman had asked her to stay, she seemed so scared that Aura felt like she couldn't just leave her. She used to be better at resisting being influenced by other people’s emotions, but she was becoming weak now that she didn't have her pain sharpening her.
The silence was soon broken by Geiru, who, it would seem, was not accustomed to it yet.
“Ya know, this allergy almost got me found innocent,” she said, staring at the ceiling.
“Well, it's a good thing it didn't. Otherwise, poor Bucky would have been sent to jail instead of you. And that would be a shame, wouldn't it?” Aura leaned forward to prop her head in her hand.
Geiru sat up to look at her. “I feel like you don't like me.”
“You're correct, I don't. You’re a terrible person. And you almost got one of the few people I actually kind of care about convicted of a murder he didn't do. You’re not exactly overflowing with likable traits.”
“Well if ya hate me so much, why are ya botherin' to help?!”
Aura got quiet for a moment and looked away. “I was asked to look out for you. I wouldn't exactly be doing that if I let you die from an allergic reaction.”
“...Did Simon ask you to do that?”
“Well, yes. But it was the princess who asked first.”
“Wait, really?! Why?”
“I don't know. I thought you must have talked her into taking pity on you or something.”
“I barely even spoke to her,” Geiru replied, annoyed.
That changed things a bit. If she wasn’t intentionally trying to garner sympathy from Athena, that meant Athena saw something in her on her own.
Athena had always been good at picking up on people's emotions. Maybe that meant Geiru was genuinely remorseful over what happened and not just spinning a sob story.
“Anyway, I figure I owe her that much,” Aura continued. “I did try to kill her, after all.”
“You were arrested for attempted murder?” The fact seemed to surprise Geiru.
“Technically, it was for taking hostages. There wasn't really enough evidence to prove attempted murder. Not that I care what the justice system has to say. It might as well be attempted murder, but at least this way I can get out sooner and try to fix things. The point is, I'm not exactly in a position to say ‘no’ to a request Athena makes.”
“Well ya have a strange way of helpin'. You could be a little nicer about it.”
“I'm not nice. If I was, I wouldn't be here right now.”
Frustrated, Geiru laid back down. A moment later, she hit her hand on the mattress beside her.
“My life wasn't supposed to be this way! And now I’m gonna die in prison from a buckwheat allergy ‘cause nobody cares enough to take it seriously!” She burst out crying.
Geiru had been crying off and on throughout the few days she had been in the prison, which made sense given her circumstances. It had slowed as time passed, but now she was back into it full force. Aura had typically found a way to remove herself from the situation before, figuring it was better to just let the woman process things on her own. It didn’t feel right to just leave in this situation, though, which left her two options: sit there awkwardly, or find some way to help.
Aura never knew what to do when people cried. It was one of the reasons why she had always had an awkward relationship with Athena. She wasn’t very good at being comforting, and often people’s problems were not the kind she had the ability to fix. With no clear course of action, she usually just shut down.
Did she even want to help Geiru? There were no clear guidelines on what Athena’s request entailed. For all she knew, keeping the woman from getting herself beat up was enough to fulfill it. And why should she care that Geiru was suffering the consequences of her own actions? She was not a good person. She murdered someone. She tried to pin her crimes on someone innocent. Specifically, she pinned it on the child alter of someone with DID, contributing to stigma on top of betraying their trust.
…She snapped after years of suffering and lashed out against the people she felt were to blame for her pain, killing someone she had once loved, all for it to turn out to be a misunderstanding.
There were differences, but at the end of the day, she was what Aura had almost become had nobody stopped her.
It didn’t exactly make her easier to like. If anything, it was more reason to hate her. But this was exactly what she had spent the last 5 months learning to not see as something that makes a person permanently unredeemable.
“I don’t think you’re going to die in here from an allergy.”
“Huh?” Geiru’s sobs temporarily slowed, turning to look in Aura’s direction.
“The princess seems to like you, and I’m sure she and my brother would love nothing more than to tear into some of the higher ups over the rules not being followed when it comes to preventing allergen exposure. They can’t fix the entire broken system, but they can probably get things tightened up in the kitchen, at least.”
That seemed to calm her somewhat. She was still crying, but she was no longer sobbing as hysterically.
“And things may not be going how you expected, but none of us here are having life go the way it's supposed to. I'm supposed to be in my lab right now building robots with my amazingly brilliant psychologist wife and her daughter. Things happen and all you can do is try to pick up and adapt the best you can. I've been trying to learn to do that myself.”
That was about all she had in terms of comforting words right now. It wasn’t much, but it did seem to help.
They returned to sitting in silence, or near silence, as there was still the sound of Geiru sniffling. It wasn’t really that much different than any other day, since there seemed to always be someone crying in here. Aura closed her eyes and settled into the silence.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed when she heard the tell-tale signs that the guards would be coming around soon.
“I have to go,” she said, standing up. “Technically, we’re not supposed to hang out in other people’s cells and I don’t want to get caught. Think you can keep from dying for a little while?”
“I- I guess?”
“Good luck. I’ll try to be back when I can.”
She felt bad about having to leave when there was presumably still a risk of Geiru’s condition worsening, but opposing the guards too much wouldn’t end well. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if she managed to land herself in solitary. At least the brief interruption would give her some time to clear her head.
Luckily for Geiru, her condition did not get worse. Her face still felt swollen and her throat itched, but she was still breathing. Maybe she had overreacted a bit. Allergies could be unpredictable, but she was also just scared in general due to being stuck in here. It didn’t help that a lot of people didn’t take her allergy seriously.
“Glad to see you’re still alive.”
Aura had returned, this time with a bowl of something. She handed it to Geiru. “Here. Since you weren’t able to eat earlier.”
Geiru took it, looking at the contents. “Instant ramen?”
“It’s from commissary. Good for when you need extra food. And it should be buckwheat free.”
“You’re just giving this to me?” One thing Geiru had picked up in her short time in prison was that commissary was incredibly valuable. People didn’t just give it away without expecting something in return. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch. I just figured you needed it. I wouldn’t exactly be honoring the princess’s wishes if I let you starve, now would I?” she responded, leaning against the wall.
It was true that she was very hungry. They already didn’t give the inmates much to eat, and as Aura pointed out, Geiru had missed her last meal. She decided to just accept the offering and started eating.
“Why do you call her the princess, anyways?” she asked as she ate.
“She’s the daughter of the queen. Besides, don’t princesses always have white knights ready to save them and evil stepmothers that try to kill them?”
Geiru didn’t understand why Aura kept being so cryptic. This was probably the weirdest explanation she had given so far. At least some of it could be pieced together.
“She’s your step-daughter.”
“Not really,” Aura responded, dropping back into a more serious attitude. “Her mother and I were never actually together. We were just… coworkers. But Athena was around a lot.”
“Wait, she’s your sorta step-daughter and you tried to kill her?”
“You’re not exactly one to talk, now are you?” she shot back, anger flashing in her eyes.
Geiru was speechless, taken aback by the sudden attack. Then Aura sighed, anger slipping away.
“Sorry, that was harsher than it needed to be. Another thing I’m trying to work on. My point is neither of us are exactly considered morally upstanding.”
She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. “So remind me again what it was that had you so angry you felt the need to kill your master. I already know the whole story, but I figured I should hear it from you.”
It felt like all Geiru had done the last couple days was retell what happened. At least this time it was only about her motive, and not the crime itself, but she didn’t know if that was better or worse.
“I wanted so badly to be a rakugo artist just like my father and inherit his title. I wanted to honor him by following in his footsteps and carrying on his legacy. I spent over a decade studying. I poured so much work into trying to be good enough but it was never enough for Shisho. After everything I went through, he ended up giving the title to someone with less experience when it was supposed to be mine. Do you know what it’s like to spend so long working for something just to be denied it over and over?”
Aura seemed to consider what Geiru said, deep in thought. Geiru half expected her to make some comment about how it was a terrible motive. Maybe call it selfish or petty. Nobody ever understood just how important inheriting the title was to her. But surprisingly, Aura didn’t have any mean comments for once.
“I take it you never heard the reason I’m in here?”
“Other than what you told me earlier, no.”
“I heard it was all over the news back in December. Or I would think Simon would have said something about it.”
“He never brought it up and I didn’t wanna pry.”
“Shame. I don’t get a lot of information from the outside, so it would have been nice to know what’s being said about me. No matter.”
She took a breath, then continued on.
“The woman I loved was murdered, and my brother was wrongfully placed on death row as a result because he was covering for the real killer. I tried to get the case reopened so I could get proper justice for her death, and so I wouldn’t have to lose my brother on top of it, but the police wouldn’t listen. I spent seven years begging for the police to look for more evidence so they could solve the case correctly, but my efforts went nowhere. I tried to convince Simon to tell the truth and reveal what he had been hiding, but he was intent on dying instead. So when his execution date arrived and he still wouldn’t retract his confession, I decided to take matters into my own hands and kill the real culprit myself. Or who I thought it was.”
“And that was Athena?”
“That was Athena. She had just been arrested for a different murder, which made her seem even more guilty. I ended up taking several people hostage to get the police to bring her to me so I could take my revenge because that was all that mattered at that point. But it turns out she was innocent the whole time.”
Aura looked away, avoiding eye contact and grabbing her arm.
“I know it’s not the same as your situation, but I get what it’s like to lose yourself to your anger after fighting a hopeless battle for so long, and how holding on too tightly to someone who has already died kind of keeps you stuck, unable to move forward.”
Geiru blinked. Clearly, the Blackquill family drama was more complicated than she realized. Her own story kinda paled in comparison. But setting aside that shock, this might have been the first time someone hadn’t made her feel like an idiot for what she did. Somehow Aura, who had told Geiru earlier she didn’t like her, was also the one who was able to understand her the most. It was weird, but comforting.
“Why are you telling me all this?” she asked. “You hate me and this doesn’t count as simply looking out for me.”
“I’m supposed to be making friends,” Aura responded condescendingly. “Might as well try, I guess. I’m forced to talk to you anyways, so you’re a more convenient choice than anyone else here.” She shifted back into a quieter, more serious tone. “Besides, this is looking out for you, in a way.”
“How?” Geiru replied, confused.
“I’ve found having at least somebody on your side makes a big difference when you’ve hit rock bottom like this. And I don’t think things are completely hopeless for you. You’ve sunk pretty low, but that doesn’t have to be who you are forever. I don’t know how long you’re in here for, but I suggest you use that time to fix what went wrong with you. You can’t change what happened, but you at least have the ability to change yourself moving forward.”
“You really believe that?” Geiru asked, bitterly.
“I’m not in the habit of lying just to make somebody feel better.”
“I don’t really have anywhere to go. I invested all of my time into trying to be a rakugo artist, and I wasn’t even any good at it. I don’t know what to do with my life now.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something eventually. I’m guessing you’re here for a while, so it’s not like there’s much rush to figure it out.”
The reminder of how long she was going to be stuck here felt crushing. Tears started to form in Geiru’s eyes again. She wiped them away.
“I’m sorry for crying so much.” Shisho would have scolded her for doing so. She was supposed to have more control over her emotions than this. She kept it together through Bucky’s trial, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself from crying ever since she was found out.
“You think you’re the only one who’s cried in here? People end up here because upsetting events happened to them. Crying is just par for the course. I sure did my fair share of it. Heck, even Simon-” Aura cut herself off. She gathered herself for a minute before continuing, turning away. “I’m told he cried a lot while he was in prison. That’s why he has those marks under his eyes. I didn’t know until recently, though, because he cut contact with me shortly after he was arrested.”
“It must be nice having someone you love that much.” Geiru thought about the people close to her and how she mostly just felt anger towards them. She felt like the only person she really loved was her father, and he was already gone.
“From my experience, it just hurts,” Aura replied. “For years, I would have given anything for the ability to cut ties and not care. It would have saved me a lot of suffering.”
“At least ya have people to help ya out! I don't have anybody!”
“I can't help much with that. It does sound like you burned a lot of bridges. But again, you have time. Maybe you can build new ones, or find that the ones you burnt aren’t as unsalvageable as you think. If you wake up one morning and decide you don’t hate everyone in your life… well, you can always try to apologize. There’s no guarantee that they’ll forgive you, and you should be prepared for the possibility that they won’t, but they might surprise you.”
“Just because you have people who still like you doesn’t mean anyone will still like me.”
“Well, I'm also probably getting out before you do. If you truly end up with nobody else, and if you don't piss me off too much, maybe I could help.”
It was all surprisingly positive coming from the woman who seemed to hate everything and everyone. Geiru still didn’t understand why she was being shown such sudden kindness, but she figured she should accept what she could get.
“I’ll… keep that in mind.”
“Well, I should get going now,” Aura said, her previous vulnerability fading. “You can return the bowl in the morning.” She started to walk away.
“Thank you,” Geiru called after her. “For helping, and for the advice.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I’m only doing it for Athena.”
Geiru was starting to suspect there was another trait Aura shared with her brother: they both had a tendency to deflect to hide that they actually care.
She didn’t really like the idea of dealing with another person who uses indirect communication after everything she went through with Shisho and his roundabout way of caring. Still, having at least one friend in here was better than nothing.
As terrible as the buckwheat incident was, it did at least break a tension between them. It became easier for the two women to talk after that.
Aura didn’t like how her emotions were getting the better of her lately. She gets the slightest bit close to somebody in a similar situation to her and all of a sudden she’s feeling the need to provide the type of support that helped her so much back when she was first arrested. She didn’t really want to think too hard about the implications it had on how she viewed her own worthiness to receive such kindness.
Still, she found it was nice having someone she let her defenses down around. There was a void of loneliness she hadn’t realized was there, and talking with someone every day was a lot better than waiting around for visitation day to have any kind of positive human interaction. She was annoyed that Simon had seemingly won this round.
Aura still wasn’t sure she really liked Geiru. But she could learn to.