Work Text:
subspace sat on the floor of his cluttered room, surrounded by half-finished experiments, crumpled papers, and chaotic sketches. his laughter, once light and carefree, twisted into something manic as he ripped another clump of hair from his scalp, his fingers trembling with desperation. tears streamed down his face, leaving streaks on his cheeks, yet his grin remained—a bizarre contrast to the storm of emotions swirling within him.
“who even am i?” he choked out between sobs, his voice raw and fractured. “i’m just... nobody... nobody at all!” the words echoed in the silence, amplifying the weight of his despair. he tugged at his hair again, a habit that had become all too familiar, a physical manifestation of his inner turmoil.
“why can’t i just be normal?” he cried, his breaths coming in shaky gasps. “it’s like everyone else has it figured out, and here i am, just... lost! do they even care? do they even notice?” his manic laughter gave way to a desperate wail, the sound clawing at the walls of the room. “i’m a freak! a total freak!”
he buried his face in his hands, sobs wracking his body as he rocked back and forth, trying to make sense of the whirlwind inside his head. “what’s wrong with me? why can’t i be more like them?” his voice cracked, the bitterness mingling with his tears. “i just want to be good enough... is that too much to ask?”
subspace’s chaotic thoughts spiraled, drowning out any rationality. “i don’t even know who i am anymore! am i just a joke? a failure?” he pulled at his hair again, feeling the pain sharp and grounding, yet it was no match for the storm brewing in his chest. “i feel so... empty. like there’s nothing left inside me!”
“why... why!?” he cried out, his voice rising in desperation, echoing off the walls. “why does it hurt so much? why can’t i just stop feeling like this?” the anguish bubbled up from deep within, a mixture of frustration and despair that left him feeling even more hollow. “i’m so tired of pretending... of trying to keep up! why can’t i just be happy?”
he clawed at the floor, his fingers digging into the rough surface as he leaned forward, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on him. “why do they look at me like that...?” he sobbed, the pain in his heart echoing in his voice. “it’s like they see me as a monster... a menace to society!” he shook his head, tears spilling over as he recalled the glances from others—curiosity mixed with fear, judgment behind every stare. “i just want to belong... but instead, they act like i’m some kind of freak show!”
his chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath, feeling so alone in his anguish. “the only ones who seem to like me are meddy and grav. they’re all i have,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “but what if they get tired of me too? what if they see me for who i really am and walk away?”
“what if...?
voices whispered in his head, clawing at the edges of his sanity. he curled up tighter, sobbing into his chest, wishing he could drown them out.
“homewrecker.”
the voices spoke, their tones dripping with disdain.
“freak,” the voices grew louder, their taunts piercing through his fragile defenses.
“monster, you’ve killed millions. when will you swallow your own pride?” their cruel words rang in his ears, a cacophony of accusation that twisted like a knife in his heart.
“stop it!! i’m not... like that!!” he screamed, his voice breaking as he fought against the torrent of self-loathing. “i’m not a monster! i’m not a freak!” he pressed his palms against his ears, desperate to silence the onslaught of negativity that threatened to consume him.
but the whispers only grew stronger, mocking him relentlessly, pulling him deeper into his despair. he felt himself teetering on the edge, longing for someone to pull him back from the brink.
as panic seized him, subspace hyperventilated, his breaths quick and shallow, the air escaping his lungs in frantic bursts. he pressed his face to the ground, trying to ground himself, but it only intensified the chaos in his mind.
he clawed at his hair again, ripping out chunks of fluffy strands, the pain sharp but somehow comforting against the rising tide of panic. “i can’t... i can’t breathe!” he gasped between sobs, feeling the walls close in around him. “what’s happening to me?!”
he curled tighter, wrapping his arms around his knees, feeling utterly trapped in the storm of emotions. his heart raced, pounding in his chest as if trying to escape the suffocating darkness that enveloped him. “please, someone help me!” he cried out, the words spilling from his lips in a desperate plea, hoping against hope that someone would hear him.
but no one did. the silence pressed in around him, amplifying his despair until he choked out one last breath before everything faded to black.
...
the door twisted as medkit opened it, his eyes widening in horror at the sight of subspace crumpled on the floor, surrounded by the chaotic remnants of his turmoil. “subspace?!” he called out, rushing to him without a second thought.
he knelt beside him, panic rising in his chest as he gently scooped subspace into his arms. the moment he lifted him, he could feel the weight of his despair, the remnants of tears soaking into medkit’s shirt. he cradled him close, feeling the warmth of subspace’s body against his.
“shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” medkit murmured, his voice low and soothing, desperately trying to reach through the fog of pain that surrounded subspace. “i’m here. you’re safe.” his fingers brushed through subspace's messy hair, lingering as he traced gentle patterns along his scalp, hoping to provide a sense of comfort amidst the storm of emotions.
subspace’s quiet sobs filled the space between them, each one a sharp reminder of his anguish, and medkit’s heart ached at the sight. he could feel the trembling in subspace's body, the remnants of the panic attack still lingering like a shadow. “i’m right here,” medkit whispered, his voice gentle as he rocked them slightly, creating a rhythm that felt grounding. “it’s okay... shhhh, don’t worry. you’re not alone.”
as he nuzzled into the warmth of medkit’s embrace, subspace felt the tightness in his chest begin to ease, if only just a little. medkit held him tighter, their bond a lifeline in the darkness. “shhh, let it all out, my sweet love. i’m here for you,” he encouraged softly, showering him with gentle kisses on the top of his head, each one a promise of unwavering support and understanding.
“you’re so much more than what you think,” medkit continued, his voice steady and filled with warmth. “you’re not a monster. you’re not a freak. you’re my precious one, and i care about you, no matter what.” he pressed gentle kisses to subspace’s temple, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his lips. each kiss was a soothing balm to the hurt swirling within subspace, and medkit felt his heart swell with a fierce desire to heal the pain.
“please,” subspace sobbed, his voice trembling as the weight of self-loathing crashed down around him once more. “i don’t deserve this... i don’t deserve you.”
medkit’s heart broke a little more at his words. “nonsense. you deserve everything, my love. you deserve joy and love and all the kindness this world has to offer,” he whispered fiercely, determined to erase the shadows of doubt that plagued subspace’s heart. “i’m here, and i won’t let you go. not now, not ever.”
slowly, subspace’s breathing began to steady, the chaos in his mind quieting as he allowed himself to lean into medkit’s comfort. with every kiss, every soft word, he felt the oppressive weight of his self-loathing begin to lift, replaced by a flicker of hope. it was a fragile flame, but it was there, ignited by medkit’s love.
“gosh, have you eaten, my dear?” medkit asked, his brow furrowed with concern as he leaned back slightly to look into subspace's eyes. the faint hint of a smile began to emerge on subspace's lips, despite the lingering sorrow in his gaze.
subspace shook his head, “no...”
“oh, sweetheart,” medkit sighed, his heart swelling with a mix of love and concern. “let me take care of you.” he carefully adjusted their positions, ensuring subspace was still cradled against him as he stood up, supporting him with one arm while the other began to stroke his back soothingly, feeling the tension begin to melt away under his touch.
“how about a nice, warm meal? or maybe some of those sweet treats you like?” he suggested, his voice dripping with affection. he couldn’t resist planting a few more kisses on subspace’s forehead, his lips lingering there as if trying to infuse him with all the love and comfort he had to give. medkit could feel subspace’s heart beginning to beat a little more steadily, a sign that the shadows were lifting.
as he settled onto the couch with subspace in his lap, medkit continued to pet his head gently, feeling the soft strands of hair slip through his fingers. “you’re safe here. i won’t let anything hurt you,” he whispered, his voice a comforting murmur as subspace nestled closer, burying his face against medkit’s shoulder. the weight of his anguish was still there, but in medkit’s embrace, subspace felt the first real stirrings of peace begin to settle in his heart.
as they settled into the cozy embrace of the couch, medkit felt subspace relax against him, the tension in his body slowly ebbing away. the soft glow of the lamp cast a warm light over them, creating a perfect atmosphere for comfort and safety. subspace nestled deeper into medkit’s side, seeking the solace that only his presence could provide.
“you did so well today, my love,” medkit murmured, gently brushing his fingers through subspace’s messy hair. he could feel the softness of subspace’s breath against his shoulder, a soothing rhythm that began to lull him into a sense of calm. “now, let’s get you something to eat before you drift off, okay?”
with that, medkit carefully stood, cradling subspace against him like the delicate treasure he was. he made his way to the kitchen, his heart swelling with a protective instinct, each step filled with a sense of determination to take care of the one he loved. gently, he placed subspace on a stool, making sure he felt stable and secure. “just a moment, sweetheart,” he promised, moving to heat up some soup.
as he approached the stove, medkit's heart swelled with affection. the thought of nourishing subspace and easing his discomfort ignited a warmth within him. he opened a can of soup, letting the rich, savory aroma fill the kitchen, enveloping them in a comforting embrace. the sound of the soup bubbling gently was oddly soothing, and he glanced back at subspace, who watched him with tired yet curious eyes, the shadows of his earlier turmoil still lingering.
“you used to love this soup when we first started dating,” medkit recalled, a soft smile spreading across his face as he reminisced about those simpler times. “it was your favorite, remember?” his voice was laced with a gentle teasing tone, hoping to coax a smile from subspace.
“mhm...still do...” subspace replied softly, a flicker of a smile teasing the corners of his lips, though the stubbornness still lingered in his expression.
"of course you do." medkit poured the soup into a small bowl, placing a spoon inside while adding just the right amount of spices, letting the fragrant scents mingle and dance through the air. “all right, let’s get you fed,” he said softly, returning to subspace with the warm bowl cradled in his hands. he took a moment to sit beside him, ensuring he was steady and comfortable, their knees brushing together in a comforting connection before offering the first spoonful.
“here comes the airplane,” he teased gently, tilting the spoon toward subspace’s lips with a playful grin. the corners of subspace’s mouth turned upward at the playful tone, but he hesitated, stubbornly pursing his lips and shaking his head slightly.
“i don’t know if i want it...” he murmured, a hint of defiance creeping into his voice.
“oh, come on,” medkit coaxed gently, a smile dancing on his lips as he brushed a few stray hairs from subspace's forehead. “it’s good for you. just one bite. please?” he tilted the spoon closer, determined to break through subspace's stubbornness.
with a reluctant sigh, subspace finally opened his mouth, accepting the warm soup. as the rich flavor washed over him, he felt a flicker of warmth spreading through his belly, and he swallowed, the sensation of nourishment bringing a small comfort. the taste was familiar, a gentle reminder of all the love packed into this simple meal.
“see? it’s good, isn’t it?” medkit encouraged, giving him another bite. he watched as subspace took each spoonful with gratitude, although his stubborn nature still shone through as he pretended to resist. “you need your strength, love. this is the good stuff.”
“maybe just one more,” subspace conceded with a soft pout, allowing medkit to feed him another spoonful. he relished in the way medkit's face lit up with each small victory, the tenderness in his eyes a balm to the lingering pain in subspace’s heart.
“you’re doing amazing,” medkit praised, his voice warm and soothing as he offered another bite. he watched closely, feeling his heart swell as subspace savored the meal, the tension in his body gradually melting away with each nourishing mouthful. it was a small but significant victory, as each swallow seemed to ease the lingering shadows in his heart, replaced by the warmth of medkit’s unwavering care.
as the bowl emptied, medkit couldn’t help but smile at subspace’s small, contented sighs. “you did such a good job, my precious one,” he praised softly, setting the bowl aside and gently wiping away a bit of soup that had dribbled down subspace’s chin. “now, let’s get you cozy.”
he lifted subspace back into his arms, cradling him against his chest as he reclined back onto the couch. the world outside faded away, and for this moment, nothing else mattered. medkit wrapped a soft blanket around them, cocooning subspace in warmth and safety. “just relax,” he whispered, gently rocking them back and forth, his heart swelling with love and affection.
subspace nestled into the crook of medkit’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of him—a mix of warmth and the faintest hint of antiseptic that felt like home. “i... feel so safe...” subspace murmured sleepily, his eyelids growing heavy against the comfort of medkit’s presence.
“that’s because you are, my love,” medkit replied softly, planting a gentle kiss on subspace’s forehead, feeling the warmth radiate from him. “i’m here to keep you safe and warm. just let go.”
with each soft stroke through subspace’s hair, medkit felt him gradually succumb to the pull of sleep. the rhythmic sound of his breathing filled the air, slow and steady, lulling medkit into a peaceful state as well. he tightened his embrace, holding subspace close, feeling the weight of their bond solidify in the quiet moments.
“sweet dreams, my darling,” medkit whispered as he watched subspace drift off, the last traces of worry fading from his features. cradling him gently, medkit closed his eyes, finding solace in their shared warmth, knowing that together, they could face whatever the world threw their way.
as medkit smiled, he blinked lazily, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. the soft glow of the screen illuminated the cozy room, casting gentle shadows that danced across the walls. he began scrolling through youtube shorts, chuckling quietly at a particularly amusing video, all while ensuring he remained close to subspace. he could feel the fragile weight of his partner against him, so delicate and precious, like a fragile teacup, easily breakable yet so beautifully unique.
subspace stirred slightly, letting out a soft yawn, and nestled deeper into medkit's embrace, seeking the comforting presence that wrapped around him. medkit’s heart swelled at the sight of him, his one eye fluttering open as he peeked up, the remnants of sleep still lingering in his expression.
“are you watching funny cat videos again?” subspace mumbled, his voice thick with sleep, a hint of playful accusation in his tone.
“maybe,” medkit replied, a playful grin spreading across his face as he attempted to stifle a laugh. “but you have to admit, they’re quite entertaining.”
subspace let out a sleepy huff, clearly unamused yet too cozy to argue. he snuggled even closer, his warmth melding with medkit’s, creating a cocoon of comfort that enveloped them both. “you’re the worst,” he murmured, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into a smile he couldn’t suppress.
“but i’m your worst,” medkit whispered back, his voice dripping with affection as he pressed a soft kiss to subspace’s forehead. the moment felt suspended in time, filled with an unspoken promise of love and support.
“now go back to sleep,” medkit urged gently, his hand moving to pet subspace softly, fingers trailing through his hair in soothing strokes. he watched as subspace's eyelids fluttered, fighting the remnants of wakefulness, and medkit’s heart swelled at the sight.
“you’re too comfy,” subspace murmured, his voice a sleepy drawl, a small smile playing on his lips as he snuggled deeper into medkit’s warmth. the tender gesture of being petted lulled him, coaxing him back toward the comforting embrace of slumber, medkits soft fingers rubbed his cheek.
"I love you..."
"love you aswell my dear."