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Every now and again, against his will, Hanzo thinks of Harumi and how wonderful she had been. She was perfect for him, and in those early years, when he was a young, stupid, and very self-conscious teenager, he had wondered if he was perfect for her, or if he would ever grow into that ideal man. He was too prideful as a boy. The Hasashi name resting on his shoulders, the Shirai name resting on hers. Too proud. Too hotheaded. More than once had he started a fight, verbal or otherwise, over challenges to his capabilities and his legitimacy as a warrior.
Usually, he won. But even his grandfather, before his honorable death, would note behind closed doors his "undisciplined and unbalanced nature," with his friends - the other respected elders of the clan- much to his humiliation.
Harumi had an infinite level of patience.
Harumi tried to quell his impulsiveness without sounding like she was scolding him. Usually successfully.
Harumi, his perfect foil. Harumi, who controlled his fire.
Harumi. Harumi. Harumi.
He knows now definitively that he was never perfect for her. Even if some elements were out of his control, that still doesn't ignore the fact that he had failed her, even in death.
Every now and again, against his will, Hanzo thinks of Kuai Liang, and how he reminds him of her.
The ice to his fire. Hanzo is a man now, but some of his hot-headedness remains, just now buried under years of age, experience, and time.
Had the old Shirai Ryu still been around, his amorous relationship with the Lin Kuei grandmaster would have been scandalous, but they are not around anymore to determine whom he would love or not. But then, had the old Shirai Ryu continued, well…
He has put the past to rest, twice. Kuai Liang has not yet finished the second time.
"Perhaps it would be best to leave them here," Kuai Liang gestured with his chin to the surrounding location. It was a rather unusual mountainside, strikingly less steep than its neighbors, and lined with tombstones. "This was a ancestral place we buried our dead. The first Lin Kuei can be found here, up until the Cyber Lin Kuei, or whatever remained of them." He stared almost disapprovingly at a series of tombstones, unnamed and unmarked , save for the emblem of the Lin Kuei. "I'm hoping to restore this place, if not just for the… new additions."
Hanzo disagreed with Kuai Liang's sentiment. The Lin Kuei were all bastards, as far as he could tell. Despicable people, willing to kidnap children, starve them for disobeying, kill them for failing or defecting - it was a miracle that Kuai Liang turned out alive and virtuous as he was. It was a miracle that Kuai Liang could even reserve some semblance of feeling toward the people who consistently degraded and devalued him. But, Hanzo recognized that it was ultimately not within his authority to decide.
Nevertheless, he hated it here. Each tomb - each grave, seemed like a mockery, jeers from the dead who faced death first before justice for their actions. He only gleaned a little bit of satisfaction in knowing that they seemed to have been forgotten in death.
"I understand the honor of a warrior's death," Hanzo rumbled, "But…" He resisted the urge to say that they did not deserve it. That it was better to do away with it altogether, and to honor the Lin Kuei as Hanzo knew, even if briefly. "Looks surprisingly desolate," Hanzo said, dully noting the faded and eroded stone masonry, "I would have thought that even the Lin Kuei would take better care of the dead, if they considered their own so honorable."
"As far as I am aware, the last time we did any grave sweeping was before the last Grandmaster - ," he considered, "Before the last Grandmaster announced the Cyber Initiative."
Hanzo's nose flared. He couldn't have afforded the dead this dignity.
In the middle of his thoughts, he nearly collided with Kuai Liang when he stopped suddenly in front of a grave tombstone. He glanced inquiringly at Kuai Liang, who seems transfixed on the words on the stone's surface.
-- 广胜
The grave tombstone was definitively grander than all the ones before it - larger and made of more expensive material - but similarly dilapidated. The first character was somehow eroded, despite seemingly being made of sturdy granite, and it was only after paying attention that Hanzo noticed the delicate etchings of a dragon - Artikan dragons, he noticed with some interest - that only miraculously peaked out from under the layers of frost and snow.
"If anything, I hope to at least be able to restore this one," Kuai Liang said, eyes closed in somberness, "I am glad to have come here, if only to visit Grandfather again."
"Grandfather?" Hanzo looked at the name again. 广胜. Regrettably, he can't say he could read the name.
"The Grandmaster always spoke to us about him after grandfather died," Kuai Liang said ," Well, mainly spoke to Bi-Han. He said that we had much to live up to, to live up to the name Sub-Zero. Father was skilled , but not as accomplished as Grandfather. He hoped that Bi-Han would not disappoint."
"He sounds…" Hanzo hesitated for a word, "renowned."
"He was," Kuai Liang replied after a moment , " I will remember him as a comforting presense for many years after our father brought my brother and I here… The rest of the clan remembered him though for allegedly slaying more than a hundred Shirai Ryu, although I question the validity of that rumor."
Hanzo only scoffed, "Likely not entirely unfounded" Plenty of Shirai Ryu died when he was growing up, brothers and sisters, his father, and his grandfather before him. Harumi. He scowled and hoped to hide the expression away from Kuai Liang.
"Perhaps not. The only remember one time the entire clan celebrated one of his kills, back when I was just a boy," he murmured thoughtfully , " I was too young to understand too much of it, but apparently he killed someone of extreme merit from the Shirai Ryu."
Hanzo felt the beginning of dread growing in his stomach. He seemed to remember it, too well.
"Guang Sheng ?," he felt anger growing, faster than he could control it , "Your grandfather - the third Sub-Zero - Elders Gods…" How the hell did he not see this coming? "Guang Sheng is your grandfather."
"Yes, he is - "
"He killed my grandfather," Hanzo said, flames sprouting from his fists, "He killed my grandfather!"
Kuai Liang flinched at the sudden outburst, hands twitching almost as if reaching for a weapon to prepare for an attack or to defend himself against one.
"I am sorry to hear that," Kuai Liang gently replied when he got his bearings, "I'm sure your grandfather fought honorably."
"Fought honorably?" Hanzo spat, "He was poisoned!"
Poisoned , just like Grandmaster Takeda Shirai, first of them all, because the Lin Kuei don't give a damn about ending lives with honor.
"Your Lin Kuei deserve better than to be buried here. This entire grave site is nothing more than a monument to the wrongdoings of the Lin Kuei," Hanzo growled, "It should be destroyed."
"I'm sorry for what my grandfather has done, but you cannot ask me to defy all the dead here," his partner replied as calmly as he could, "They weren't all malevolent."
"Weren't they?" he challenged, "Would they have stood aside as your Grandmaster - as Sektor - would have turned them into cybers? Your Lin Kuei deserve better."
Kuai Liang sighed, "You can't remember a mass of people by their worst sins, Hanzo,"
"But the Lin Kuei were malicious," Hanzo snarled, " You know this. Foul people. They ruined - " he had to blink and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to think of what he had lost or else he might accidentally burn Kuai Liang's residence with fire, however suppressed the flames may be. "They ruined my life," he ultimately said, "And tried to end yours."
Kuai Liang's eyes stared at the floor, thinking before he raised them to meet Hanzo's. His expression was carefully blank, but his voice was clipped and cold in a way Hanzo had never heard directed at him since -
"Just as you tried to end my life?"
The Shirai Ryu grandmaster could say nothing in response. His mouth opened pathetically like a fish for a retort that never came. He doesn't know what response would save him here, no redeeming this situation. His impulse - his anger - once again brought him into a situation that he could not undo or back out of, and so in Harumi's gentle reminder, the best thing to do is to remain silent.
He didn't dare meet his gaze.
Eventually, Kuai Liang sagged, his features once again softening into the vulnerable and familiar version he had come to know the past few years. It seemed that he didn't know what else to say either, so he merely walked away, leaving Hanzo standing by the grave alone.
It was almost a routine by this point, that Hanzo would arrive later than Kuai Liang to join him to sleep. He would slip into bed and they sometimes had sex or spoke of random topics that amused the both of them, or sometimes both. Tonight though, he approached the evening with growing trepidation. He knew it was better to not return to the Fire Gardens. Hanzo had created this rift between them, and leaving would only widen it, alliance or otherwise, but some part of him dreaded being kicked out from Kuai Liang's bedchambers by the man himself.
Nevertheless, he transgressed, so he offered to mend the rift first if Kuai Liang did not.
Using his hellfire to summon a small flame, he used the dim light to make his way into the room. The man on the bed shifted, turning over, and Hanzo's eyes met with Kuai Liang's in a moment that seemed to slow time itself.
Eventually, Kuai Liang moved again, this time shifting to one side of the large bed, in a silent invitation for the other man to join him, and Hanzo let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.
Extinguishing the flame, he moved, lifted the heavy sherpa blanket, and slipped in. The two of them shifted against one another, trying to find the most comfortable position, and it ended with Kuai Liang's head tucked under his chin, and legs tangled together. It was warm and quiet.
Hanzo opened his mouth to say something anything, but his partner beat him to the punch.
"I know that the Lin Kuei was not a force of good, especially as I was growing up," Kuai Liang murmured into his neck, "But it is, and perhaps still is, home. Some days I wonder why I was so determined to restore the Lin Kuei, instead of making something new, or perhaps just leaving it and walking away altogether."
"I am grateful that you did," he softly interjected, "The world is better for it. And so am I."
"Did I rebuild the Lin Kuei because Raiden wanted me to when he left all those people there with me? I could have started my own clan instead. They didn't need to join the Lin Kuei, even in name only," Kuai Liang continued without pause, "Had I even stopped to consider? Or did I feel it was an expectation that didn't even need stating?"
"The old Lin Kuei is no more" Hanzo said, choosing his words carefully, "You weren't under the old Grandmaster's tyranny anymore."
"The old Grandmaster was no tyrant," he countered, and Hanzo found himself shutting his mouth again. "Not quite one anyway. He was a bastard for sure, but the Grandmaster was not stupid," he said , " He was strict , harsh. But he cannot lead a clan of assassins that all hated him. Loyalty cannot be earned by constant whippings and punishment after all."
Hanzo was distinctly aware of where his hands were, and he dully noted the lash marks that had only barely faded with time.
The Lin Kuei Grandmaster was quiet a moment, before continuing again, "Were he a leader of anything else, a kingdom, a village, a realm, perhaps he could have afforded to not care about the common people so long as he had the military and executive forces on his side. He could have potentially lived a long life in spite of being a tyrant. Instead he led a clan of assassins - the common people are his executive force," he said, and it almost sounded like he was reciting words, "After all, my grandfather said, 'History shows that nothing dooms a dynasty quite like having the military - the ultimate power of force - turn its back on the emperor."
"He must have been very wise. I'm glad that you had him with you, however long you did."
"As am I."
Hanzo breathed deeply, smelling the scent of Kuai Liang's hair.
"Perhaps he is why you chose to rebuild the Lin Kuei," Hanzo murmured into his hair, "You were not rebuilding because of your loyalty to your clan, but to the little good that your clan had."
"Perhaps," he mused. "Not all of the old Lin Kuei were good, but deep down I think they had suffered as much as me. They did what they did because it is what allowed them to survive in a place like this," Kuai Liang pondered, whether or not to himself, Hanzo couldn't be sure, "I think deep down they didn't want to see me punished either. They just didn't want to join me in my suffering. Is that so wrong?"
Hanzo wanted to disagree, but he's learned his lesson on speaking on things he only has an outsider's perspective on. No one knows the Lin Kuei like Kuai Liang does, and no one can perceive, experience, and think in the same ways he did, not even Hanzo.
"We used to have sex, in discreet places, just for the quick relief, before Sektor wizened up and we had to be careful with our partners," he mused, "Some of them would side with Sektor and hoped to curry favor with him by betraying the secret activities of their clan brothers. Sometimes I fell victim to this. But some of them looked away and said nothing, even though back then I had nothing I could offer them in return. Why were they kind to me?"
"I don't think you'll ever know for sure," Hanzo pointed out, "Perhaps it was because you were kind to them in the past."
"Kindness didn't mean anything back then," Kuai Liang scoffed.
"I would disagree," and this was something Hanzo found he could speak confidently about, knowing that he knew the truth to this intimately, "Why do you think Cyrax was willing to sacrifice himself for your sake? Why did Smoke choose to follow you where you went?" We're drawn to you Kuai Liang, not merely because you carry power and strength, but because you make people feel good, feel hope. " Hanzo stilled, mindlessly raking his fingers through the cryomancer's scalp, "Perhaps that is why you are bound to this place, my love. You… felt kindness from the Lin Kuei once. Felt hope. There is hope of a better future here, by your hand."
"The Lin Kuei as Grandfather wanted."
"You should do a grave sweeping for him, provide offerings, before we honor the Lin Kuei under your name. He was a good Lin Kuei."
It was not quite an apology, Hanzo knew, but Kuai Liang could read the meaning underneath.
"Yes. He was a good Lin Kuei."