Chapter Text
"K..Kacchan..?"
Izuku looked on in absolute disbelief at the fallen body of the boy who meant so much to him.
So many of his friends’ and other heroes' bodies lay strewn across the battlefield, but his eyes remained on Kacchan.
T..This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to make it through this war together. They were closer and mending old wounds, and they were supposed to go back to being as close as they were as kids. Izuku was.. he was going to finally tell Kacchan how he felt.
He was going to tell Kacchan how much he loved him. How much the blonde meant to him. How much having him in his life pushed him forward. The was no Deku without Dynamite. There was no Izuku without Kacchan.
Izuku could feel his breaths beginning to become way too shallow. He couldn't really breathe. He wanted to scream and cry and breakdown but he couldn't breathe.
Why couldn't he breathe?
His body felt like it was about to explode. He could feel blackwhip wanting to lash out, he could feel gearshift trying to activate. He could feel One For All trying to swallow him whole, and he wanted to let it.
His vision was beginning to become fuzzy as his quirk activated over and over again. Why not let it swallow him down? What was the point of living without Kacchan?
He loved his mother. He loved All Might and his other friends, but none of them were Kacchan. He didn't think of them when he pictured the symbol of victory. He didn't look for them after his every accomplishment. He didn't look for anyone else when he knew he needed someone by his side. He always looked for Kacchan. He always thought about Kacchan.
He could hear All For One talking in the background, but he didn't listen to the words because he just let One For All swallow him whole.
There was no future without Kacchan.
Izuku woke up in a cold sweat and in a blind panic before finally realizing he was in his dorm room at Yuuei. He tried to get his breathing under control as he made sure not to activate his quirk and accidentally get rid of any more of the little embers he had left.
He tried his calming techniques. "I'm Izuku Midoriya. I'm a second year hero student at Yuuei. It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real. This moment right here is real."
He's breathing slowly started to resemble some kind of normalcy but then he started to panic again. He needed to see Kacchan. He grabbed his phone to check the time, and he paled when he seen it was a little after three in the morning. Kacchan would be mad that he woke him up but Izuku had to. He needed to see Kacchan, just to make sure he was real. To make sure he was alive.
Izuku got out of bed as quietly as he could and made sure to be extra silent as he made his way into the hall and up one floor to Kacchan's room.
He made it to Kacchan's door and tried knocking as lightly as he could and waited. When he didn't hear anything, he tried knocking a little louder and waited again. Still nothing, so he sighed and just opened the door.
Kacchan always left his door unlocked now, he had a feeling for why as he tried his best to ignore it as he silently closed the door. He then turned to see Kacchan sleeping in his bed, and he could see him breathing. He was safe. He was alive.
He let out a sigh and that's when he noticed piercing red eyes open and lock in on him immediately. He didn't understand why, but it always seemed like Kacchan's eyes glowed brighter then others. You could always see Kacchan's eyes in the dark.
Kacchan sighed, "Why are you stalking me in my own room Izuku?" His voice was tired but Izuku could hear the concern under the masked annoyance.
Izuku played with his own fingers, "I had a really bad nightmare about the war and I couldn't shake it and I just wanted to make sure you were alive. I tried knocking a couple times but you didn't answer but I know you keep the door unlocked for me so I came in anyway and I noticed you breathing and it calmed me down but you woke up before I could leave. I'm sorry Kacchan."
Izuku wanted to cry out of frustration. He was still a mumbling and muttering mess when he thought Kacchan was going to be upset at him.
He heard Kacchan sigh and scoot closer to the wall and open up his blankets. "Come on, get in the bed. I'm tired Izuku, I've been sleeping like shit. I'm alive and kicking so get in the bed."
Izuku didn't want to argue so he made his way over and slipped into bed with Kacchan. This wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last.
As he settled in, Kacchan tapped him on the head. "Hand me my arm from my side table."
Izuku kindly shook his head. "I know it's uncomfortable for you with sleep with it on. You don't need it Kacchan."
He could see Kacchan look at him seriously. "I..I just don't feel right without it around other people. Makes me feel less than I am. Izuku, please."
Izuku couldn't say no to any plea of Kacchan's. He didn't want Kacchan to feel like he had to wear the arm around others, especially him, but he could hear the sadness laced in the blode's voice. He rolled over and grabbed it off the table and handed it to Kacchan who popped it into the port where his right elbow used to be.
Kacchan tried and tried to not have it amputated but there was just no saving his right arm below the elbow. It had taken about six months but him and Hatsume had worked together to come up with a prosthetic that he would be able to use that acted similarly to when he used his quirk and he could just use for every day use.
Eventually Izuku settled down under the crook of Kacchan's left arm and placed his head on Kacchan's chest to hear his heartbeat.
Him and Kacchan were in the weird limbo. He hadn't told Kacchan how he felt no matter how hard he tried and it seemed like Kacchan always wanted to tell him something but would always get mad and storm off. It was hard, holding in his feelings, but he at least knew that Kacchan was alive and well, and that meant the world to him at the moment.
Izuku could already feel his eyelids growing heavy as he listened to Kacchan's heartbeat. He felt a hand thread through his hair before it came to rest on his lower back. "Go to sleep Izuku."
He really couldn't hold his eyes open anymore as he yawned one last time and snuggled down into Kacchan's chest. His words came out slurred as he fell asleep. "G'night K..Kacchan. I love you."
Izuku woke up the next morning to an empty bed, but he wasn't too surprised when he glanced at Kacchan's alarm clock and it showed that it was almost nine. Kacchan was definitely out in the gym or on a run with Kirishima. Kacchan didn't sleep in past six even on the weekends.
As Izuku rolled to sit up, he noticed his shirt was singed in several places. He didn't hurt at all. He frowned, he wondered if Kacchan was having nightmares again too, he had said he wasn't sleeping well again. He'd ask him later.
He got up and slipped his shirt off so he could borrow one of Kacchan's. They borrowed each other's shirts and sweaters all the time now. Izuku had grown taller and bulkier than Kacchan so he had to dig to find one that wouldn't be short on him. He found his favorite one to steal, one of Kacchan's baggy skull shirts.
He smiled as he slipped it on and left Kacchan's room to stop by his own room to toss his ruined shirt in it and then head down to the kitchen for breakfast.
As he entered the kitchen, he waved to Himiko and Ochako. Ochako waved and giggled as she was leaning back against Himiko's chest as the slightly taller girl stood against the counter and had her arms wrapped around Ochako's waist.
Himiko giggled, "Nice shirt Izuku."
He felt his face heat up slightly at the implication. "I..I just picked it out of Kacchan's closet." As soon as the words left his lips. He knew he had made a mistake. He could see both of their faces light up with mischievous intent. He threw his hands up and whisper shouted, "I didn't tell him anything!" As soon as he could see they weren't going to freak out anymore, he continued. "I had a bad nightmare about the war and losing him. Sometimes he lets me stay when they're really bad."
He turned to grab something from the fridge and he heard Ochako start to respond when the sound of a mini explosion he knew all too well came from the common room. He turned to find Kacchan and Kirishima. Kacchan had his fist clenched and was staring directly at him, but not at his face, at his chest.
He looked down at the shirt and back up at Kacchan. His face was heating up but he smiled at Kacchan. "Oh, I stole one of your shirts again. You don't mind, do you Kacchan?"
Kacchan made some kind of strangled noise and another explosion popped in his closed fist. He growled and Izuku watched him stomp out the front doors with Kirishima in tow.
What was that? Kacchan had never minded when he borrowed his clothes before. Maybe he was having a bad day, he'd talk to Kacchan later.
Except he never got the chance to talk to Kacchan later, or the next day, or most of the day after that. Kacchan was avoiding him and ignoring him and he didn't understand why. He didn't understand what he did wrong and it really hurt that Kacchan was ignoring him. They were supposed to be inseparable again, and if Kacchan was going through something, Izuku wanted to be there to help him.
Izuku went to bed on the third night of Kacchan ignoring him, just knowing he wasn't going to get much sleep again.
He heard All For One's voice calling out to him. Taunting him from the abyss that he wasn't fast enough to save Kacchan or anyone else. Then a scene began to appear in front of him. People lay before him, completely torn apart.
At the top of the pile of limbs and body parts was Kacchan and All For One. Izuku tried to move but he couldn't. He tried to use his quirk and he couldn't. He just had to stand there and watch as Kacchan reached out for him before All For One ripped him to pieces.
Again Izuku woke covered in sweat but this time he was crying. He didn't even try to be quiet as he made his way to Kacchan's room. He knocked once and tried the door but it was locked. Kacchan stopped locking his door for him months and months ago, why now? "K..Kacchan..P..Please.."
He heard shuffling from inside the room and the door swung open, revealing a glaring Kacchan, but his glare only lasted for a moment until it fell into concern. He opened the door wider and opened his arms, Izuku didn't hesitate for even a split second. He latched onto Kacchan like a koala and he felt Kacchan squeeze him and pull him close.
They didn't really say much at first, Kacchan just kind of held him and let him cry, but eventually Izuku had to know why he had been being avoided. "W..Why are you a..avoiding me? You haven't talked to me in t..three days. What did I d..do?"
He heard Kacchan let out a deep sigh, "You said you loved me the other night."
Izuku leaned away just slightly to wipe his eyes. "N..No I didn't." Then he started to panic, he didn't want Kacchan to get the wrong idea even if this wasn't the ideal way of explaining his feelings. "But I do love you though! I've been in love with you for a long time and I've been waiting to tell you but I never could gather the courage, but I don't remember telling you. I would definitely remember telling you something that is that important."
He could feel Kacchan tense and relax several times through his rambling. "You did say it, nerd. You said it as you fell asleep, like it was so easy to say, like we had done it a thousand times. I freaked out all night and accidentally burnt your shirt several times because I didn't know which way you meant it and then I came back from my run with Kirishima and you're wearing my shirt and I just freaked out. I didn't want you to tell me it didn't mean anything more than us just being friends so I hid, because Izuku, I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you that it hurts."
He could see Kacchan dip away and look at the ground. "W..Which is stupid because you deserve so much better than me. With what I put you through when we were kids. You deserve to be with Icyhot or Eijirou. I deserved to have been left on that battlefield. I deserved.."
Izuku couldn't take it anymore and he wasn't going to let Kacchan keep thinking that way about himself. He pressed his lips down to Kacchan's and he felt Kacchan immediately reciprocate. He brought his hands up to cradle Kacchan's jaw in his hands until they had to separate to breathe.
He kissed Kacchan once more before breaking the kiss to speak. "Don't ever think you should have died that day or any other day. I would have no idea what to do if you weren't here. Todoroki is my friend. Kirishima is my friend. You are my Kacchan. You've always been my everything. My motivation, my symbol of victory, my everything. Our past is our past, and I know you're going to beat yourself up about it for a long time if not forever, but don't you ever say I don't deserve you. You've sacrificed your body for me, you died for me. You've repaid whatever debt you think you owe, ten times over."
Izuku leaned forward and brushed his nose against Kacchan's before dipping down to kiss the blonde again. "We're going to be chasing after each other and competing for the rest of our lives, but just know I'll love you for the rest of my life just as well."
He watched Kacchan dip away and pretend like he wasn't wiping his eyes before looking Izuku right in the eyes. "For the rest of our lives then."
Izuku smiled as Kacchan pulled them over to the bed. "For the rest of our lives."
The two of them got settled in the bed and that's when he noticed Kacchan taking off his prosthetic. "What are you doing?"
Kacchan smirked at him, but it softened into a smile. "I don't need it, not when it's you."
Kacchan handed him the prosthetic and Izuku put it on the bedside table before he settled down and Kacchan was the one laying on his chest this time.
Izuku was wide awake when he heard Kacchan whisper to him. "I love you, Izuku."
He was also completely wide awake when he kissed the top of Kacchan's head and whispered back. "I love you too, Kacchan."