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Elizabeth,
In light of your decision to return to Chicago, your mother and I decided to collaborate on a new set of lessons that will—hopefully—help you navigate the dangerous streets of America. Apparently, your mother felt that the first set of lessons was incomplete.
What I said was, “I wasn’t around for any of this.”
In any event, I have also taken into consideration your comments about the utility of my first set of lessons. May this set serve you better than the first.
- Consider getting your pilot’s licence.
- First impressions can be deceiving.
- Should you ever find yourself in jail (why?), remember that a little politeness can go a long way.
- You will never need duty more than when your enemy is at your mercy.
- Sometimes, just ignore the parking rules.
- Even respectable-looking intellectuals can be criminals.
- Not all bad men are guilty.
- If no one is listening to you about something important, keep talking until they do.
- When someone unjustly questions your abilities, don’t waste time arguing. Prove them wrong.
- Eggs can make surprisingly effective weapons.
- Even a committed liar can have a truth to tell.
- If you must hide your real identity, stay as close to the truth as possible.
- Secure your boots when you’re not wearing them.
- Always wear hairpins strong enough to pick locks.
- Should any man make inappropriate advances while you are on guard duty, you are allowed to defend yourself. (It would have been nice if that rule had gone both ways).
- The bug you know about is a weapon in the right hands.
- If you need to have a difficult conversation, it helps to practice first. Maybe with a chair.
- Find a friend who will bring you home even when you forget where home is.
Don’t forget to call. Don’t listen to Francesca Vecchio’s dating advice.
With love,
Your parents