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Benedict Bridgerton thought himself to be a romantic man, charming and romantic and normally he had no issue getting women. Most of the time he was trying to avoid women when he was out in society but when he wanted a woman, he always ended up with that woman…
Until Sophie Baek.
There was something about this woman that was driving him mad, driving him to distraction and his mind and heart was utterly consumed by her. He knew she wanted him as well but there was something holding her back. Something stopping her from committing to being his mistress.
He’d decided not to ask her again, she’d practically begged him not to ask her again when they were in his mother garden and he knew she was not indifferent to him. He saw the looks she gave him, the way she’d blush when he caught her glancing at him whenever he went to his mother’s home and he;d vowed that whilst he wouldn’t ask her again, he would attempt to woo her in other ways.
His muse had come back since Sophie had entered his life and he found himself for the first time in a long time, sketching again, sketches of Sophie. Just memories of her helping look after him at My Cottage, of her sitting with his sisters or mother having tea and he’d found a way to sneak them into her room, leaving them there with nary a note but she’d seen his sketches once before, he’d seen her snooping and she knew they were from him.
But today he decided to be bold. A little bolder than he had been in the past. The drawings had not been working and he was sure that his mother was out all day with his two sisters visiting Gregory over at Eton and Kate was busy with her stepmother whilst Anthony was attending to some business and Francesca and Colin were both off in their marriages.
So he knew she would be alone.
So he planned to put his plan into action and hope, that perhaps this romantic gesture, this courtship ritual would prove to Sophie just how much he wanted her.
~*~
Sophie Baek loved working for the Bridgerton’s for many reasons. For one it was a million times better than working for her step-mother Araminta Gun, and a lot better than working for the Cavanders with their lecherous son… and secondly, it felt almost like she was in a family for the first time in her life rather than just a maid.
Neither seen nor heard…
Both Lady Bridgerton’s took an interest in her, Hyacinth and Eloise talked to her like a human being and asked about her life, the things she knew, the things she’d learned.
It was a comfort she’d not had for a long time.
But if she was being true to her heart, the real reason why she loved working for the Bridgerton’s was also the same reason why she hated it…
Benedict.
In her heart she longed for this man she dreamed of a life that could never be and him leaving her drawings and sketches in her room when she’s attending his sisters, or some other household task, it nearly broke her heart.
She wanted him, Lord knew how badly she wanted him, but she would never go to him on his terms.
She would not, she could not risk having a bastard of her own.
Her own bastardy was bad enough, the memory of the life and treatment she had received, how lonely her life was… she would not do that to a child.
She’d rather live with a broken heart than risk that.
She knew she was going to have to leave, sooner rather than later as with every sketch, every drawing from Benedict, she felt her resolve slipping and it was tortuous.
Seeing him almost daily, the reminders of him around the home. The same smile in the face of his mother, the sharp wit that he shared with Eloise and that cheekiness that she saw in Hyacinth… and whenever his eldest brother was around, the one who he looked the most alike, other than the paintings of his father… it broke her heart over and over again.
Just when she thought it could not break any more, something would happen to break it again.
She was supposed to have a clear day today, Lady Bridgerton was supposed to be going to visit her youngest son in Eton but a letter had arrived by express that morning to say Gregory had taken ill. Not seriously but enough that his entire dormitory was on quarantine to prevent the spread of the mild influenza that they seemed to have so they had postponed their visit.
Lady Kate had come over to help plan the end of the season soiree that they were due to hold in a few weeks time instead of visiting her stepmother and sister, and so the ladies of the house, along with Sophie were sitting taking tea rather than Sophie executing her plans of going along to the docks to find out when there was transport to America, and how much it would cost her. She’d been saving her wages from Lady Bridgerton and the money she had left from her time at the Cavander’s had made her hopeful that she’d be able to afford a third class ticket to the new world.
She’d heard stories that they were a little more accepting over there, her status as a bastard would not be an issue and given her education, she may even find a job as a governess… and she would be far far away from Benedict.
But she knew that would have to wait for another day, as there was no way she was getting out of tea today; she just hoped that Benedict would not join them.
He’d known about the families plans to visit Gregory as he’d joined the family for breakfast the day before when they were discussing it and with his family gone, Sophie knew he’d have no reason to come over.
Or so she thought.
Violet was just in the middle of pouring Eloise a cup of tea, and Kate was brewing her own tea, when they heard footsteps in the hallway.
They heard the footsteps pause and seemingly whoever it was heard the hum of conversation in the reception room and made there way in.
“It must be Benedict…” Violet said “if the footman is not seeing them in… and Anthony was in meetings all day”
And sure enough, no sooner had Violet finished the sentence, did Benedict walk through the door, holding a bouquet of Sunflowers.
His eyes flashed with disappointment at seeing his family there, something Sophie saw briefly and she felt her heart leap for a second, he had not expected them to be at home.
“Mother!” Benedict said, trying to hide his shock and school his features.
“Gregory is sick so we postponed our visit” she said eying her son suspiciously
“I… I… I heard” he lied
“Who are the flowers for?” Hyacinth asked, wondering why her brother had flowers as he’d never brought anything over before.
Sophie dared not look at Benedict, she’d mentioned in one of their conversations whilst he was recovering from his cold, that Sunflowers were her favourite, she could almost feel the quick glance he gave her before he coughed “they’re for mother” he lied again “i thought she’d be upset at not being able to see Gregory so I thought i’d bring something to cheer her up”
Violet looked her son, amusement on her face as she knew that those flowers were not meant for her, she knew just the brief look of shock on her face “thank you Benedict but I assume you forgot that Sunflowers make me sneeze and make my eyes itchy if I am too close to them?” she said with an amused look on her face.
Benedict smacked his forehead, how could he be so stupid.
“Sophie likes Sunflowers, don’t you Sophie?” Kate said with a smirk “I remember you saying as much.”
“I… I…” Sophie stammered, wishing the ground would swallow her whole and Benedict felt his own face heat up as he saw the blush on her face and the look from his mother.
“Well that’s settled, Benedict, give them to Miss Baek, it’s lovely that brought them for me , but as they make me sniffle, they’re safer under Miss Baek’s care” Violet said
“T…t…thank you” Sophie stammered, unable to look anyone in the face. “I… I’ll take them away now” she said, getting up smoothing the purple of the maid’s dress and walking to Benedict, determined not to look him in the face but as she reached him, and took the flowers, her ungloved hand, brushed his and she jumped nearly a foot in the air, nearly making her the same height as him.
The current that passed through her was like lightning and she looked up, her dark eyes meeting his blue for a second, which felt like an eternity, before remembering his family was watching them and scurrying from the room, the sunflowers in her hand.
She felt her heart racing hard in her chest, the flowers were beautiful. She knew he’d come to give them to her, not to his mother and it made the pain all the worse.
She longed for this man and dreamt of a life that could never be, where he was truly courting her, that this was not an effort to get her to go to him…
And she knew… she knew that she had to go.
Sooner rather than later.