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Walking into the school grounds she’d spent so much time on as a kid now as an adult was oddly surreal. Especially when she considered the reason she was here was for her son who now attended as a student.
Buttercup looked over at said boy who was sitting outside on the swings by himself. All the other children having already left for the day. He perked up upon seeing her and his dad finally arriving.
“Momma!” He zipped over quickly, nearly bowling her over in his eagerness to get to her.
“Bruce,” Butch gently chided, “what did we say about using our powers at school?”
“Only in an emergency. But it is an emergency! You took so long to come get me everyone went home. I was all alone!” The little boy acted as if this were the betrayal of the century.
“I’m not sure if that’s actually an emergency.”
“It felt like it. Don’t you think so, B?”
Bruce was directing his question to his younger sister who was comfortably situated in Butch’s arms. To her credit, she tried to repeat ‘emergency’ but, being barely 2, it mostly came out as just an Incomprehensible jumble of consonant sounds. Bruce still took it as agreement.
“See? Can we go home now?”
“Not yet green bean, we’ve got to talk to your teacher real quick. Where is she?” Buttercup asked, looking around.
“Oh, Ms. Tram is inside doing work.”
Bruce pointed to the open door leading into the school house. Instead of working behind her desk like she’d expected, Ms. Tram had moved to the door ready to invite them inside. Both Buttercup and Butch had meet Bruce’s teacher a few times before but Buttercup still thought it was weird seeing someone who wasn’t Ms. Keane inhabit these walls. Fortunately Ms. Team was also an amazing teacher and wonderful with children. She’d moved to town just this year to take the position after Ms. Keane’s retirement.
The adults exchanged greetings and Buttercup apologized for bringing Butterfly along. Butch wanted to attend the meeting as well and with it being so early in the evening still, there was no one else who could have watched her.
“It’s not a problem at all! Bruce, why don’t you go show your sister some of the toys we have?”
The little boy smiled. Butch set Butterfly down on her feet where Bruce immediately took her hand, his excitement to play evident as he led his little sister over to the rug surrounded by colorful bins of toys.
“So, Bruce is a joy to have in class,” Ms. Tram said as she sat behind her desk. She motioned for Buttercup and Butch to sit in the chairs stationed in front - thankfully adult-sized.
“That’s good to hear isn’t it?” Buttercup could hear the pride dripping from her husband’s statement. He was always so worried his background would come back to affect their children negatively.
“Of course. He is perfectly on track academically, always eager to help, and plays well with the other students.”
“I can’t help but feel there’s a ‘but’ coming.” Don’t get her wrong, she loved to hear praises about her child just as much as any other parent, but it was obvious they had been called here for a reason and Buttercup would much rather get straight to the point rather than dance around it.
“Well, there’s been a small issue lately with Bruce and lying. He also will not admit when he’s been caught telling such obvious tall tales.”
“Lying? About what?” Butch sounded genuinely confused. Of all the struggles they’d had with Bruce, lying had never been one of them.
“Oh um…” Suddenly, Ms. Tram looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here in the meeting that she had called.
“Well,” she continued, “As you may know a week or so ago our class hamster unfortunately passed away.”
Buttercup nodded her head in assent. She was familiar with it. Bruce had come home from school that day ranting on and on about how upset most of his classmates were. Although Bruce didn’t seem that put out by the turn of events now that she thought about it.
“Sure, Bruce told us all about it,” Butch urged the teacher on.
“As you can probably guess, some of the students had questions. I really didn’t go into detail but while I was explaining the… circle of life you could say, Bruce interrupted with his own story about his dad dying. That alone wasn’t that unusual. I just assumed that Mr. Jojo must not be his biological father. But then it came up again later during our family unit this week and when I asked further questions Bruce insisted that you were not his stepfather but that you had in fact died. It’s caused quite a stir in the classroom and I’m, well I’m not really sure what to do. I thought it best just to have a chat with the two of you and maybe clear some things up. Hopefully, you can work with Bruce at home about not telling lies about such sensitive topics.”
The three adults sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Unsurprisingly, no one really knew what to say or do. Eventually, it was Butch who broke the silence with a loud, boisterous laugh. He was doubled over, nearly falling out of the chair. His theatrics were only making Buttercup’s embarrassment flair higher. She could tell her cheeks were burning red.
“Butch!” she admonished, “I am so sorry for his behavior it’s just. Bruce isn’t lying. Butch is his biological dad but he did also die back when we were kids.”
“Oh, like your heart stopped after an accident?” Ms. Tram seemed equally confused and embarrassed.
“No,” Butch choked out through his laughter, “She blew me up!” He managed to jester to his wife sitting next to him before descending into laughter again at Ms. Tram’s shocked expression.
“I’m so sorry I thought someone would have explained this to you when you got here. I forget not everyone in Townsville knows the story.”
“Oh, there’s a story?” Ms. Tram questioned in a tone that indicated there shouldn’t be a story. Buttercup had to agree.
“Well..” Buttercup wasn’t sure where to start or what to say. Might as well start at the beginning.
“As you may or may not know, my sisters and I weren’t born the um…natural way. Our dad kind of made us in a lab - sugar, spice, everything nice. A little bit of Chemical X and his perfect little girls happen to have super powers. Well one of our old villains hated losing to us all the time so he made Butch and his brothers while he was stuck in jail.”
“In a toilet! Snips, snails, and puppy dog tails. Gosh we were borderline radioactive!” Butch was no longer laughing but his shit eating grin made Buttercup want to slap him nonetheless.
“So we fought and my sisters and I were losing until the mayor, Ms. Bellum - well I guess at the time she wasn’t the mayor yet - anyway, she suggested we take a different approach. So we kissed their cheeks and I guess their chemical makeup was so unstable from, well… being built in a toilet that they exploded from… cooties?” She turns to ask her husband, “Was that your official cause of death? Cooties?”
“That’s what your dad says,” Butch shrugged, “We should keep that underwraps though. Doesn't really sound cool to say you died from cooties.”
“So if you… died, then how are you..?”
“Alive? Oh well about a year later a different villain brought me and my brothers back to life. But he gave us a cooties shot so I can kiss my girl anytime without fear of spontaneous combustion.”
“Butch!” Buttercup didn’t know it was possible to be any more embarrassed. She could feel her cheeks heating up and knew without looking she was probably bright red.
“Oh, I had no idea! I am so sorry for accusing Bruce of lying.”
“Please don’t apologize. I’ll make sure to have a talk with him about when it is and isn’t appropriate to bring up his dad dying. I am so sorry if it’s caused issues with any of the other kids. Please let me know if there’s anything at all I can do to help clear things up.”
“Oh, while I appreciate it I don’t think that’s necessary. You know how kids are, something new peaks their interest seemingly every day. Besides, I think you could say this was a great learning opportunity for everyone involved!”
Poor Ms.Tram looked like she was still struggling to wrap her head around this new found information. Buttercup thought that maybe she should talk to Ms.Bellum about offering a town history course down at town hall for people new to town. This definitely wasn’t the first time the weird nature of Townsville had led to confusion or misunderstandings amongst lifelong residents and new ones. She’d have her sisters help her workshop the idea.
“Well, now that we’ve got that all squared away I suppose I shouldn’t keep you any longer. Thank you again for meeting with me and for clearing up… “ Ms. Tram waved her hands, clearly not knowing how to categorize the situation they’d just found themselves in.
“No problem,” Butch, for all his earlier silliness, was being truly sincere. “And if anything ever comes up again please let us know. Whether it’s got to do with Bruce or if you ever need any more clarification on this weird place we happen to live.”
He leaned closer conspiratorially, putting up a hand as if trying to keep his next words just between him and the young teacher across from him. It was all for show of course. Buttercup’s super hearing could pick up a pin drop on the other side of the building and Butch knew that.
“Personally, I think the story of the broccoli aliens is my favorite but I can’t give you an accurate account since I wasn’t there… ya know… cause I got blown up.”
Buttercup smacked him on the head and ordered him to help the kids get ready to go. To her credit, Ms. Tram seemed to take the joke for what it was, letting out a small laugh and failing to hide her smile.
“Broccoli aliens?”
“Oh yea. And that’s probably not even the weirdest thing I’ve seen. Once, a zombie magician kidnapped my sister. Another time my sisters and I formed a band to sing back everyone’s happiness and color after a black and white clown stole it,” Buttercup winced.
“Ya know, I’ve never actually had to explain any of this before. Hearing myself say it out loud really makes me sound crazy. Like, I’m actually married to a man who was made in a toilet!” Buttercup laughed.
“I suppose not many people can say that, huh?” Ms. Tram was giggling just as much as Buttercup now.
“Literally just my sisters. And only because they’re married to his brothers!”
The two women shared another laugh before they were interrupted by Bruce. Butch had helped him and Butterfly clean up the toys and the little boy was adamant about saying goodbye before they left.
The drive home was full of laughter as Buttercup and Butch went back and forth sharing stories about their crazy adventures in the town. Bruce seemed really entranced by the story about the giant robot his grandpa had made.
“I wonder if grandpa would make me one!”
“Not until you're old enough to drive at least.” Buttercup’s response was immediate.
She made a mental note to let her dad know giant robots were definitely off the list of acceptable gifts forever. No matter how much pleading. Bruce had one hell of a puppy dog face that could make even the coldest heart melt, least of all her lovable goof of a father. He spoiled his grandkids rotten. One look was all it took. Buttercup blamed Butch for that. After all he was one third puppy dog.
When the kids had been fed, bathed, and put to bed, Butch slinked off to call his brothers and relay the story of tonight’s parent teacher conference. Buttercup knew he’d been itching to tell Boomer and Brick since they’d left the school. Granted, it was through a muffled phone speaker but Buttercup swears she’s never heard Brick laugh so hard in all the years she’s known him.
When it’s time for them to crawl into their own bed, Buttercup snuggles up next to Butch, exaggeratingly puckers her lips, and kisses his cheek in a way all too reminiscent of that fateful day so many years ago. It makes Butch chuckle as he wipes his face in the spot she just smooched.
“What, don’t like my kisses? Afraid you’ll explode again?” She asks with mock offense.
“I love your kisses. Just not when you leave behind all that slobber like a dog.”
“I do not slobber” the offense is less mock and more real now.
Butch just chuckles,
“You know I’m joking. But you should probably kiss me again just to make sure I won’t blow up again. Ya know, in case the last one was a fluke.”
“That sounds like some seriously flawed logic,” but she’s already leaning in to do just that.
She grabs his face in her hands kissing first his cheek again, then his nose, then his forehead. She’s pecking him on every available inch of skin on his frustratingly handsome face. By the end they’re both laughing so much for a moment Buttercup is concerned they might accidentally wake the kids.
“It seems,” Butch says, managing to pull himself together enough to speak, “that I’m still in one piece. Guess that means you’re stuck with me.”
“Good.”
This time when he smiles it’s not that shit eating grin he had back in the classroom. It’s the genuine, happy dazed look he saves just for her and their family. And Buttercup can’t help but think that she’d be really damn mad if he did explode. She’d have to bring him back to life just so she could kill him herself for ever daring to leave her.