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Shenhe sometimes forgets just how long Ganyu has been alive.
Her demeanor is closer to that of someone who is experiencing the world for the first time, and not one who is hardened in her years of experience. It’s hard to discern her as a seasoned veteran compared to the rest of the Adepti, with their constant monologues of wisdom and strategy. It’s easy to forget when Ganyu feels so, human.
She forgets this now as Ganyu does her nightly walk around Liyue. She’s gotten in the habit of asking Shenhe if she ‘would care to join her’, and Shenhe would , greatly. It’s a similar walk, every time, but Ganyu will find something new to point out.
She says she likes walking at night, when there are few people around. “I don’t care for crowds much,” she said one time, early into their walks. As time goes on, Shenhe suspects it’s because she still feels foreign in the large crowds of the city. Shenhe does too, so she doesn’t mind.
Ganyu’s quietly admiring an unblossomed glaze lily in a garden pond, and Shenhe kneels beside her, waiting for the inevitable.
“This one hasn’t sprouted in the last couple days..” Ganyu says, kindly but concerned.
“You remember this one?” Shenhe answers, knowing full well that she remembers all of the lilies growing in the pond - keeps count, in fact.
“Mmn, you should know I do by now.” She says, glancing over at her with knowing eyes. They see through her more than any other eyes have. Shenhe blinks, “Perhaps.”
“Ah, you indulge me far too much, Shenhe.” Ganyu smiles, standing up to continue their walk. “If you would like me to ramble about the beauty of ‘lilies not yet bloomed’ again, you may as well go visit master Cloud Retainer, I’m sure she would indulge you in rants more interesting than mine.”
Shenhe frowns, “I’ve listened to enough of Master’s ramblings for one lifetime, I find yours much more engaging.” She props her hands on the floor to rock herself into standing.
“You will be the death of me, one day.” Ganyu glances away from her, covering her face. The tips of her ears are red, and Shenhe’s stomach blooms in satisfaction. “Let’s carry on, I have a feeling our friends will be missing us if we loiter here for too long.”
Of course, Ganyu was talking about the dogs. When Ganyu had told Shenhe that she had named every stray dog she’d come across in the city, Shenhe didn’t believe her at first. Ganyu had simply led her to a clearing where many of the dogs resided, happily reciting each of their names without missing a beat. Her smile had been particularly bright that night, voice raising a few octaves as she greeted the dogs as old friends.
They say hello to their canine friends as they do every time they stroll, Ganyu mentioning how Spot’s grown and that Lee looks well-fed. Shenhe watches her fondly, She’s so incredibly fond of this woman, it aches, sometimes.
Shenhe, in the midst of her thoughts, hadn’t noticed that Pom, a round, small, white-coated mutt had begun to canter her way. Her stunted tail wags in greeting. Shenhe bends down to lightly stroke her unkempt coat, wondering if she and Ganyu should bring brushes next time.
She does what she can to comb through the worst of the matting as gently as possible while Ganyu talks to the dogs as if they’re her close friends of many years. In a way, they are.
Ganyu always tends to stay here for quite a while, and Shenhe doesn’t mind. She doesn’t particularly like the smell of dog, but is willing to compromise. Ganyu brought them food tonight, dried pork skin, which the dogs seem to enjoy.
“You spoil these dogs, Ganyu.” Shenhe chides, with no bite behind it at all. “You’ll make them fat, and lazy.”
“They’ve worked hard enough to deserve the spoiling.” Ganyu responds sweetly. “If anything, I feel bad for not being able to do more.”
“Ganyu is very kind.” Shenhe says, mostly without thinking, and Ganyu seemingly chokes on nothing, startling Bo, who lays in her lap. “Hah.. thank you, Shenhe.”
Shenhe’s been letting her tongue slip far too much, recently, to the point where she’s sure that Ganyu knows exactly how she feels about her. If she does, she hasn’t let Shenhe know. She’s close to confessing the truth every night, of letting her festering emotions out onto the forefront of their conversations all the time. It’s embarrassing how hard it’s been to conceal it.
Their night usually concludes after this. They will most likely stroll around the lantern-lit city streets one more time. Shenhe will walk Ganyu back to her room, hope that she will invite her inside, and tries not to be too disappointed when Ganyu inevitably does not.
If Shenhe weren’t a coward, she would have already told Ganyu everything. That she thinks of her constantly, that she looks forward to these walks more than anything, that she makes her feel more human than anyone ever has. She would ask to kiss her, to come inside. But Shenhe is a coward.
Predictably, as Shenhe bids Ganyu a good night at her room, Ganyu does not invite her inside to stay. With a yawn, Ganyu mumbles a “Good night, I hope you get home safely.”, and slides the door shut. Shenhe tries not to be too disappointed.
-
Shenhe brings a brush to the next nightly stroll.
It’s become close to a tradition, waiting for Ganyu to finish her day. A few times, she’d wandered into her office that she was working at. Met with piles of unkempt scrolls and paper, books and an exhausted-looking Ganyu, Shenhe decided to not venture there much.
Instead, she sits outside on a bench, surrounded by the smell of glaze lilies in the pond below and the natural breeze that comes with the elevated office balcony. She enjoys the calm before these nights, it gives her time to collect herself.
Her growing feelings and lack of composure have scared her into silence as of late. In the past, the best thing to say was nothing at all. She doesn’t particularly like staying quiet all of the time, but she likes the constant fear of scaring people off with her chatter much less. She’s never been as close to anyone the way she’s been close to Ganyu, and she can’t risk saying too much. She can’t risk losing her.
And so, she sits on the bench, quiet and collected, and tries to force all of the thoughts that plague her mind down. Down, into the pit of her stomach, into her heart, down, into something that is contained by her red ropes. It does little work.
When Ganyu emerges, Shenhe looks up at her from the bench, waiting for Ganyu’s queue to lead the two off of the balcony. “How was work?” She asks, hands perching at her sides to help her stand up.
Ganyu exhales a tired sigh, “Long.. I don’t think I can read another letter with illegible handwriting for some time.” She sighs again, rubbing at her eyes. She glances down at her gloves and slowly removes them in a fashion that should not at all be seductive, but Shenhe removes her gaze despite herself, taking it as a queue to stand up. When she looks back, Ganyu’s rubbing her eyes with a naked hand, and seemingly satisfied with the job, turns to Shenhe.
“What about you? Were the mountains giving you trouble, today?”
Shenhe shakes her head, “It’s been oddly peaceful, recently. Just training today.”
Ganyu nods, starting their journey down from the balcony and to the pond, “That’s good to hear! It’s time Liyue be faced with a time of peace, after everything.”
“Mm.” She follows Ganyu dutifully. Though she’d be lying if it didn’t make her a little restless, the need to fight constantly simmering beneath her skin.
“Ah, Shenhe, look!” Ganyu exclaims, grabbing Shenhe’s sleeve and dragging her nearer the pond, “The Glaze Lily, it’s starting to bloom!”
She sounds genuinely excited, though when Shenhe looks at it, the Glaze Lily harbors the same shell as the previous night. It doesn’t look blossomed in the slightest. “Ah.. Are you sure? It doesn’t look much different.”
The lily drifts mindlessly in the water, and Ganyu squints at it as it goes, “It’s not much different, but it’ll bloom soon, trust me.”
Shenhe trusts her. “If it doesn’t, I’m going to be very upset.” She chides anyway, and Ganyu laughs, “It won’t have to come to that, believe me; in a couple days, it’s going to be one of the most beautiful lilies on the lake.”
“But if it doesn’t?”
“If it doesn’t, I’ll..” Ganyu thinks, long and hard, before turning red, as if an unwanted thought had come her way. She shoos this thought away with her hands, turning away from Shenhe. Her voice is muffled by her palms when she finally speaks, quiet, “If it doesn’t, this one owes you a sincere apology.”
Shenhe, choosing not to read into Ganyu’s still-blushing ears, hums in her agreement.
Eventually, after Ganyu surveys the rest of the pond and nearby growth, she seems content with the area, and they move on. Shenhe remembers what she brought with her, and stops Ganyu by her shoulder.
“Hm? What is it?”
“I.. have something. For you.”
“You do?” Ganyu’s eyes grow wide as she watches Shenhe grapple for the two brushes she had purchased earlier that day. When she pulls them out, Ganyu’s surprised eyes smile at the corners. “Is my hair that unruly? I’ve been trying to take care of it..” She grabs the hair that trails behind her and runs her fingers through the curls effortlessly. The silky blue of it ripples against the moonlight like the ocean.
Shenhe frowns, “Not for you.. I’m sorry, your hair is.. perfect - ly brushed..” she slips up, almost doing that thing where she overshares. She tries to start again, but Ganyu’s endeared giggle interrupts her.
“I’m just teasing, though I’m glad you think so.” She smiles fully now. “Are they for the dogs?”
Grateful that she doesn’t have to speak, Shenhe nods tentatively, passing Ganyu the brush. “They’ll love this! You’re so sweet for thinking of them.” When she looks down at it, she runs her hand up and down the bristles and wooden carvings on the back, a wistful yet pleased expression shaping her face. “Thank you, Shenhe.”
They walk down the empty city for a bit longer, and as they meander along the pavement, Shenhe watches her feet and makes sure not to step on any of the crevices. It’s a game she’s made up for herself when she gets nervous, or anxious, or feeling any emotion she needs to tame. She’s gotten quite good at it.
She’s walked this route with Ganyu so many times that she could find her way to the dogs with her eyes closed, so she doesn’t pay much attention to her surroundings. She keeps her eyes trailed on her feet.
“Shenhe,” Ganyu says, amused, “what are you doing?”
Shenhe pauses in place. “Pardon?”
“You’re watching your feet as if they’re going to run away from you.” She smiles.
“Ah.” Shenhe looks up, feeling the heat climb into her cheeks, suddenly feeling very young. “I was trying not to step on the cracks of the pavement.”
Ganyu looks down at her own shoes, “I suppose that makes sense.” Her heel clacks against the rock as she steps on the next tile, then another, perfectly aligning her feet to make sure she’s not stepping on a crack. She looks up at Shenhe, proud of herself. Shenhe cracks a smile before Ganyu dips her head back down and walks a few more.
“It’s been hundreds of years since I last did this.”
Feeling a little embarrassed, Shenhe continues to walk, not bothering to watch where her heels step as she does. “We should.. keep going, the dogs are going to wonder where we are.”
Ganyu blinks, then smiles, “I had no idea you were so fond of them! And here I thought you only tolerated them for my sake.” She says with a giggle.
Shenhe definitely did only tolerate them for her sake. She wouldn’t go alone, that’s for certain. She doesn’t dislike it, but…
Ganyu giggles again. Shenhe swears she can read her mind, sometimes.
“What?” Shenhe frowns at her, “Perhaps the dogs enjoy routine.”
“If you were so excited to use the brushes, you could just say as much.” Ganyu clasps her hand around Shenhe’s wrist to drag her towards the dogs. Pretending her skin isn’t hot from the touch, Shenhe follows with a trust that she should not have for a single person.
The rest of the night goes on as usual. It’s simple, easy, and Ganyu makes light conversation for most of it. They brush the dogs until they’re as silky as Ganyu’s hair. Lost in the company of each other, they brush the dogs long past the point where their coats shine.
When Shenhe stands at Ganyu’s doorstep, the thought that Ganyu could invite her doesn’t necessarily cross her mind. Instead, she watches as the adepti hesitates, ever so slightly, before reaching for the doors. “Sweet dreams, Shenhe. Thank you again, for the brushes.”
“Sleep well.”
-
Their next nightly escapades run as expected. Though each of them start with Ganyu insisting the glaze lily on the pond will bloom “Any day, now!” and Shenhe hasn’t seen a single change in the tiny pod. It’s one of the only flowers that has yet to reveal its petals, and Ganyu’s affection for it may be odd, but understandable.
Though, as the days go on, Shenhe finds herself in a pit of inescapable dread, where she knows that one of these days, she’s going to slip and tell Ganyu everything. She’s going to invite herself inside, and she’s not sure what Ganyu’s reaction will be.
Ganyu certainly cares for her, more than anyone else in her life. They both seem to find the relationship mutually advantageous. They’re a good match, romantic or not, and she has to tell herself often that someone like Ganyu would most definitely not take kindly to such a declaration.
But there’s always a moment, a hesitation, when they seem to be getting too close. Like at the lantern rite, Ganyu’s shaking hands as she fixed Shenhe’s hair piece and all too quickly pulled away. The way she had stuttered under Shenhe’s hands as she felt her horns, hastily turning around with the sway of her hair to watch the fireworks at a distance. Their hands will brush and neither of them will pull away, simmering skin against simmering skin.
Shenhe had long since mulled the memories over in her mind, trying to make sense of the adeptus’ actions, trying to know if she feels the same heat underneath her skin when they touch. Shenhe doubts it.
At the end of one of the nights, Shenhe comes up with an internal compromise. Whenever Ganyu’s glaze lily blooms, Shenhe will confess. She’ll tell her everything.
-
Every night, Shenhe secretly prays that the lily doesn’t bloom. She silently dreads it, as they walk down the graceful slope of stairs into the garden. She knocks on wood before she goes to meet her. She huffs a breath of relief when the pod sits stoically on the lake. The thought of it taunts her before she sleeps at night.
She taps her heel against the floor as Ganyu finishes organizing some of the scrolls in her office, scattered as always. Shenhe should offer to come early and help, but she can’t help but feel like her ruining the routine of her, waiting out here, would throw everything into disarray. She can’t help but feel like she’s going to mess something up, as she’s good at doing that. The tapping of her foot speeds up.
Ganyu eventually emerges from her office with a tired smile. There’s a glint in her eye that tells of excitement. Shenhe prepares herself.
“I think today’s the day!” Ganyu claps her hands together and beams towards Shenhe. Shenhe blinks up at her from her bench, “The day for what?”
“I think our glaze lily should have blossomed by now, no?”
A wave of unadulterated terror shoots down Shenhe’s spine. She tries to conceal the shiver, and nods at Ganyu, “Oh?”
“It’s been quite some time! If not in the next few days, I have little hope for it.”
“I.. suppose that’s true.” Shenhe frowns at the floor, ignoring her beating heart.
“Well, let’s go find out, hm?”
The glaze lily, mercifully, has not bloomed, but the relief of the fact is overshadowed by Ganyu’s disappointed look on her face.
She looks dejected, looking at the pond as if waiting for the flower to do something. Shenhe sighs, putting her hand on Ganyu’s shoulder. “It must be waiting until it’s fully ready, so that it can be the most beautiful lily of the pond.”
Ganyu laughs quietly. “You spend too much time with Master Cloud Retainer.”
“Maybe the old crane has some useful knowledge, sometimes.”
Ganyu laughs louder. Shenhe wants to kiss her.
Her laugh turns into a fit of giggles, and Shenhe watches fondly. She hasn’t taken her hand off of her shoulder. Ganyu grabs it as the worst of the giggles subsides, shifting it to fit in both her palms.
“Ah, Shenhe, it’s just a silly flower, I’m sorry. Let’s continue? I want the dogs to try lotus seeds today!”
“Where did you get lotus seeds?”
“Oh, you know.”
With a disbelieving huff of a laugh, Shenhe follows.
The dogs hate the lotus seeds. Of course to no fault of Ganyu, how could she have known? Shenhe hadn’t even known dogs could make a face as disgusted as they do with their limited expressions. Only one of the mutts, named ‘Miko’, accepts each and every seed she and Ganyu throw her way.
Ganyu pretends to not be disappointed that they don’t like it, even though it means she gets to eat the leftovers. She eats them with her head hung, even though the dogs still swarm her for attention. Shenhe is not jealous of the dogs. She repeats this notion as Pom walks up cleverly and lays at Shenhe’s feet.
Shenhe, a weak woman, kneels down and scratches behind Pom’s ear, in a way she knows she likes, and the scraggly tail underneath her wags with the speed of lightning. She allows herself to sit down in the plush grass, and Pom takes this as welcome enough to plop in her lap.
“She really likes you!” Ganyu comments, ever observant. “I think she can recognize me now.” Shenhe says fondly, stroking Pom with a gentle hand.
“Oh, I think they all can, now, you’ve seen them every night for almost a year.”
They sit in silence for a while, besides Ganyu’s swooning at the dogs rolling over for her and licking at her fingers and cheeks. A year. She wishes to do this for an eternity. After some time, Ganyu starts yawning, and Shenhe knows this night will be over soon. One more night without a confession.
-
During her patrols - which is a glorified term for what she does - she’s been taking her time to watch people. It’s never much, and she hardly interacts with them, but she’s grown accustomed to their chatter, their simple acts. She does not equate this to Ganyu’s doing, even though it’s most likely just that.
She’s just finishing helping an elderly man unload his crops into a wagon when she hears a scream nearby. With a small bow to the man, she sprints towards the sound.
What she finds is a kid in a river, drifting in the brisk current of it. What looks to be the kid’s parents are running from their village, yelling the boy’s name, but too far to get to him on time. Shenhe’s feet move before her mind does, laying a talisman that freezes a portion of the river so that she can walk over it to reach the boy.
She scoops him out from underneath his arms and cradles him as gently as she can. He’s crying hysterically now, tears adding to the wetness on Shenhe’s clothes. She pats him soothingly on the back, and he shivers from the cold of her hands and river. She wishes she ran warmer, in times like this. She has always been told her touch is icy, especially after activating her vision.
His cries turn into sniffles as she walks off of the ice, willing her body to be warmer for him as she holds him. His parents, old and worn-out from the run, huff their apologies and thanks.
“We don’t know what we would have done without you.” His mom tells her gratefully, accepting her son into her arms. She feels his forehead, obviously surprised at how cold he is. “He’s an adventurous kid, we can’t keep him inside no matter what we do.” She smiles, and her eyes crinkle with it. It’s a beautiful smile, Shenhe thinks.
“I am just glad that I made it to him in time,” Shenhe offers a small smile in return, “make sure to keep him away from the river, I won’t always be here.”
“Of - of course, miss.” She says, looking down at her son, who’s watching Shenhe with big eyes. “Can you say thank you?” His mom gently prompts, and his eyes go unspeakably wider, “Thank you.” He says meekly, raw from his cries and shaky with his relief.
“Do not go wandering around the river by yourself.” She tells him seriously, and he nods. “Good.” She parts his wet hair with her hand, moving it out of his face.
-
Shenhe takes the remainder of the day to follow the river back up to Liyue. She’s never taken this path, and it’s not very far from the city. When she comes across a fork in the path, she takes one towards the mountains. Idly, she wonders if she could bring Ganyu here, if she would like the scenery.
Her feet carry her to a clearing, bright and lovely, where the river comes to a swimming hole. It’s clear as crystals, reflecting a brilliant blue back up to the sky.
She will take her here to show her. Ganyu rarely leaves the confines of Liyue, perhaps she will bring her here tonight.
-
When Shenhe suggests they go out into a mountain path, she almost expects Ganyu to say no. To shake her head with an endeared smile and continue petting at the dogs.
To her surprise, Ganyu’s eyes lit up at the prospect. Shenhe does not tell her anything more than a walk through the mountains. She hopes the water reflects the night sky just as well as it had the day.
The trek isn’t so bad, but takes longer than Shenhe expected. She thinks she may never move fast with the leisurely pace Ganyu sets for herself. In all of her years, she has learned to take her time. Shenhe doesn’t complain.
The river winds and hums in the direction of the clearing, and Shenhe’s nerves are as bright as the moon’s reflection in the water. Ganyu makes light conversation, pointing out plants she hasn’t seen in years, crouches down to watch the insects crawl on them.
“Have I told you that you act particularly young for a woman of your age?” Shenhe says, teasing, and Ganyu puffs her cheeks up in fake embarrassment. “My heart will stay as young as I wish it to be. ‘A woman of my age’.. seriously..”
Shenhe smiles, “You’ve just seen so much, I’m surprised it hasn’t worn you down. Humans get a kind of tiredness to their eyes as they grow. I saw it in a woman’s eyes today. They were happy, but.. worn.”
“Do I not look worn, to you?” Ganyu stops so that Shenhe can turn to her and inspect her face.
It is young, undeniably gorgeous. She has smile lines, on closer inspection. Her eyes crinkle at the corners. Her sunset-colored irises don’t seem tired, but radiate with experience. They sparkle with love and warmth, a look that is youthful but earned.
“I cannot tell.” She answers honestly, too lost in the details of her face to answer anything but.
Ganyu looks victorious as she continues to walk. Shenhe mourns the loss of charting her features almost immediately, but pushes on.
The river eventually winds into the mountains, and Shenhe recognizes how the hill grows steeper, how the plants seem slightly greener than before. She knows they're close, and all she can think about is whether or not Ganyu will like it.
They’re about to make it to the clearing when Shenhe’s ball of nerves becomes too unbearable. “Ganyu, before we -”
“Oh, Archons, this is beautiful!” Ganyu says before Shenhe can finish, and she knows they’ve made it. Ganyu’s eyes are large and wide, mouth agape as she takes in the scene. The water looks effortlessly clear. A small waterfall where the river meets the pool adds a peaceful trickling sound as the water hits smooth rock. She allows herself to breathe, finally, knowing that Ganyu enjoys it, and then a strange feeling hits her chest and sits there funnily.
Ganyu was always going to like this, no matter where Shenhe brought her. She doesn’t need her to say that to know. Shenhe thinks Ganyu could find beauty in a pile of garbage outside of a take-out restaurant, why was she worried?
Ganyu turns to her, eyes shining, “What were you going to say?”
“Ah, nothing.” Shenhe inclines her head towards the pool, “It’s beautiful, right? I.. I saw it and wanted to bring you.”
“So this is why you asked me on the walk.” Ganyu marvels, tip-toeing closer to the edge of the pond as if a wrong move will disturb its beauty. If someone were to ask Shenhe, she would say she only adds to it, but she pushes that thought away quickly. “It’s really beautiful, I haven’t been to the mountains in so long.”
“I’ve noticed.” Shenhe says absentmindedly, and Ganyu’s head whips back around to turn to her. She doesn’t say anything.
“Would you like to swim?” Ganyu says with a grin, still looking at her, and continues tip-toeing towards the water.
“We would get wet.” Shenhe watches Ganyu’s movement carefully.
“Dear Shenhe, I think that’s the point.” Ganyu begins to take off her gloves, then her sleeves, and looks back at Shenhe. “We can dry on the walk back, I want to relax a little bit.”
With Shenhe still hesitant, Ganyu clips off her collar and the rest of her outerwear, so that she’s only wearing her tights and something she calls a “leotard”. Shenhe watches with fascination and awe at how fast and practiced her movement is. How strangely erotic she makes it look. She casts her eyes down, and tells herself that joining in would mean something to do besides yearn for this woman. She steps towards the water and begins shoving off her clothes.
She tries to make it look delicate, but the truth is, she’s never been a very graceful changer. Her routine consists of shrugging her articles of clothing off until they hit the floor. When she’s mostly bare, Ganyu’s already in the water, the expanse of her chest and collarbone distracting Shenhe from the task at hand.
Ganyu looks at Shenhe with an expression that Shenhe’s never seen. It’s too dark outside to fully make it out, but before she can, Ganyu’s looking away. She wades further into the water with a sigh. “It’s cold,” She says, “I like it. So.. you’re coming in?”
“Why else would I be undressing?”
Ganyu’s eyes go wide, and her gaze locks onto a star in the sky. “Fair - fair point.”
When she finishes taking everything off, she dumps it unceremoniously next to Ganyu’s heap of clothes and begins to wade in the water. Ganyu respectfully keeps her eyes trained elsewhere, but Shenhe.. She wants her to look. These silly, silly emotions make no sense to her.
When the cold water finally reaches her own chest, she submerges her hair to pull it out of her face, and when she comes back up, Ganyu’s watching her again. With that same expression. She quickly turns again, and Shenhe can see the strong muscles that pattern her back. It’s tight from the cold water, and she has to fight the urge to touch, to taste, to -
“Have you been here before?” Ganyu’s words cut through her train of thought like a knife, and Shenhe’s eyes jerk up to meet her. “Pardon?”
“Oh! I was just asking if you’ve been here before, but.. That’s a silly question.” She begins to ramble, “Of course you have, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, ha-ha, ehm..”
There’s a silence that falls between them for a moment. “I like it here, it reminds me of when I was young.” She sinks into the water, letting her feet lift up so she can float on her back. Shenhe keeps her eyes trained on Ganyu’s face, or she might explode.
“Me too, but I’ve never swam with someone like this.”
“Really?” Ganyu asks with genuine intrigue. Beautiful, kind, genuine. Shenhe’s hands clench into fists that hold nothing but water and emotion. “Mmh, I was told that this was to be done alone, so I would either do it quickly to bathe or to calm down.”
“Ah, I see.” Ganyu says thoughtfully. She’s completely lying on her back, eyes closed. “Have you tried doing this before? Floating?”
Shenhe nods, then remembers Ganyu can’t see it. “Yes, I have.”
“Join me!” Ganyu’s hands flap against the water like she’s beckoning Shenhe to sit next to her. Shenhe follows suit, but not before allowing herself a look at how the water shines as it hugs around Ganyu. Just admiring. “Okay,” Shenhe says before floating on her back. Her ears become muffled by the water, but in a relaxing way. She hasn’t allowed herself this in some time.
“Is this something humans do often? Swim with each other?” Shenhe doesn’t mention the nude part, because that feels irrelevant.
“I’m not sure I would know,” Ganyu starts, reaching her hand up to watch how the stars make the dripping water glisten against her delicate fingers. They’re a little crooked, probably from years of use. Shenhe watches alongside her. “I believe so - I see kids playing in the harbor, splashing each other. Why?”
Shenhe considers the question, and Ganyu’s hand sparkles with its beads of water. “I’m not sure.” That’s a lie. “I think I just wonder what it would be like to have lived it. Being a human.”
“Shenhe, you are a human. You can still live it.”
Shenhe hums her ascent, unsatisfied.
Unprompted, Ganyu brings her hand down and splashes the both of them. Shenhe jumps back with surprise. “What are you doing?”
Ganyu smiles, “Being a human,” she says simply, and splashes her again with better aim. Without really thinking about it, Shenhe splashes back.
They laugh as they chase each other around the pond, and Shenhe doesn’t think she could do this with anyone else. It feels freeing, letting her instincts take over and letting herself enjoy something as simple as this. It’s child-like and immature, but she’s never been allowed to do this before. It feels like a secret between them, that Ganyu gets to see Shenhe like this.
After a while, Shenhe grabs hold of Ganyu’s wrists to keep her from splashing anymore, and Ganyu doesn’t bother pulling away, equally exhausted. She pants with the effort of wading through water, cheeks red with exertion and happiness.
“What about you, have you done this before?” Shenhe asks her in between huffs. Ganyu Looks at her in earnest, a sparkle to her eye. “Nothing like this. Thank you for bringing me here.”
Shenhe feels her chest grow with pride.
-
Cloud Retainer is very unhelpful when it comes to romantic endeavors.
Her only knowledge of such “human affairs” is from stories she’s heard or from watching the geo Archon and his lovers throughout their many years of partnership. Every time Shenhe mentions anything, Cloud Retainer sits her down, and prefaces the conversation with, “Adepti do not.. typically fall in love.”
Today, though, Shenhe can’t seem to hold it in with that flower constantly haunting her. It slowly becomes less of a taunt and more of a spiteful trick.
When she tells Cloud retainer that she’s in love, she receives a quirked head, a snapping beak, and silence for a few minutes. It feels like an eternity.
“Well, Shenhe, as you know,” Cloud Retainer begins, “Adepti do not typically fall in love.” She shakes her head, “But there are always going to be exceptions.” She flaps her wings nervously, as if steeling herself for a talk she’s been preparing herself for.
“Master -“ Shenhe cuts her off, “- I don’t need advice on.. that sort of thing. I truly just brought it up to let you know, really.” She doesn’t want to mention that she is very much still human, no matter how much either of them wish otherwise. “Not that I wouldn’t appreciate any advice you would want to give, but -“
“Oh thank goodness!” Cloud Retainer fluffs her feathers, “I was worried I’d have to explain such things to you, I’ve hardly felt it myself.”
“I’m well aware, master. That sort of thing is beneath you.”
“Quite right.” She preens. Shenhe wishes she never brought it up.
Shenhe rubs at her arms with her palms in her nervousness, “It is not, however beneath me. I.. do not wish to overcome it, either. I quite like it.”
“Do you, now.” She says it as a non-question.
Shenhe thinks about it, earnestly. Despite her hatred towards the unbloomed lily and the fear of confessing, she loves loving Ganyu. She loves watching her interact with everything, the earnest compassion in it. She loves being in her company, knowing that she can make her laugh. She loves wishing for more than subtle touches, imagining Ganyu’s small but bow-calloused hands touching her. Her pink lips kissing her. She’s never wanted anything with such intensity, with such a fierceness that can only be chalked up to being human, and she loves it. She wants to bask in the feeling of loving Ganyu for the rest of her days.
“I.. perhaps humanity has some things to offer, after all.”
Shenhe had told her master something quite the opposite when she was training. Rather young, cheeks plump with youth and red from the perpetual chill of the mountains. Her mouth ran faster than her head, then.
She had told Cloud Retainer, “I don’t see the point of protecting them,” she had fiddled with her red rope’s tassels, “humanity has close to nothing to offer us.”
Back then, she had really believed it. After all, what had humankind ever given her besides a job to do? They did not care for her when they used her as a sacrifice, they looked at her with fear when she had defeated the beast she was sacrificed for. They would not take her back. They hadn’t given her anything.
Cloud Retainer at the time had a thoughtful look on her face as she said simply, “Humans are a complicated race, but I think their complexities warrant our protection.”
Shenhe hadn’t understood, but she had still complied. She continued being a silent hero to Liyue, just as she continued withdrawing herself from being human. She hated their complexities, she hated their emotions, she hated that people could feel settled in the confusing, short whirl-wind of a life they live. A life she begrudgingly would have to live. She hated it.
But now, as she thinks about the people she’s met, the experience she’s felt, she feels strangely content in it. She thinks of how she and Ganyu exist, together, and how simple and content she feels at the notion of being able to exist together for even a day longer.
She thinks about how she herself remembers each of the dogs' names that they come by on walks now, and how she sometimes stops to watch the waves crash into steadfast boats as they sail out of the harbor. She meanders on walks, taking scenic routes, and smiles as families play in the grass. She thinks it’s beautiful. She never thought something could be as beautiful as this. As existing as simply as this.
Cloud Retainer barely contains a smile, “Young Shenhe, I would not have thought those words would ever leave your lips.”
Shenhe nods, bearing too many emotions for such a brief conversation. “The feeling’s mutual.” She says it and it comes out a little hoarse. Her heart is about to burst.
Cloud Retainer looks like she’s choosing her next words carefully, “It’s Ganyu, isn’t it.”
A beat of silence, where Shenhe considers her failings.
“Has this student been so obvious?”
“Perhaps to everyone but her.”
Shenhe looks down, “It is her.”
Cloud Retainer preens in Shenhe’s peripheral vision, “I’ve known for a quite a while. You two are a good match. Powerful, with strong wil -“
“- I.. am not sure that’s all to it. Though that is the truth.” Shenhe cuts her master off again, which she should not be doing, but the bird rambles so much she hardly needs to hear what will leave her beak to know what will come out of it next. “I think we complete each other, in a way.”
Cloud Retainer cranes her long neck to look at her, shifts expectantly from foot to foot. “Do you?”
Shenhe nods, looking out into the mountain scape in front of them. They feel so small, after living here for so long. “She bridges this.. gap, this bridge over a stream I once thought impossible to cross, to know what it’s like to feel and breathe and be human. She is why I have the courage to say these things.” Her hands clench against each other, nervous in her confession. “I have never told anyone.”
“How long have you harbored these feelings?”
“Since, since the night of Yunjin’s opera. Perhaps slightly after. We talked for hours, and I came back to the mountains feeling strangely renewed. I hadn’t realized it then.”
Shenhe tells Cloud Retainer of the flower, of her predicament and her trouble, and she manages to talk with hardly any interruption. When she finishes, Cloud Retainer’s eyes are closed, as if considering.
“If I were you, I would have ripped that lily out of the pond and ate the evidence by now. I’m surprised you haven’t, in all honesty.”
“Apologies, you said you would have taken the lily out and eaten it?”
“Exactly that.”
“How would that have solved anything?”
“Because, unlike you, I have tact, and a sharp tongue, and I would have already told her how I felt.”
Shenhe frowns. The wind of the mountains whips against her skin like a hug.
Cloud Retainer is right. The glaze lily was a cowardly ploy on her part, a diversion from facing her problems head-on like her training taught her to. Ganyu makes her so nervous that she had forgotten.
“You are right.”
“Of course I am!” She preens.
“You are right, but..” Shenhe closes her eyes, “how could she feel the same?”
“How do you mean?”
“Ganyu is an adeptus, how could she love a mortal when adepti are so above it? She was also trained by Master Cloud Retainer. Why would she harbor such insignificant feelings?”
Cloud Retainer looks thoughtful in that way she normally does when she knows something Shenhe doesn’t. Shenhe hates it when she does this.
“Adepti do not typically fall in love, young Shenhe,” She starts, “that does not mean it is impossible. You were trained by me, and yet you feel this. Who’s to say she doesn’t feel similar?”
Shenhe covers her arms with her hands, the bite of the cold growing stronger as the sun heads further west. The wind changes direction, swirling erratically, stinging Shenhe’s shoulders and the tip of her nose. Still, her face warms up at the insinuation that Ganyu might feel something back. She doesn’t say anything, so Cloud Retainer continues.
“Some Adepti have a fascination with human kind. In the way they are able to commit themselves to each other eternally, despite their differences, how they can find such solace in one person. Much in the way you have started to find yourself now. Though, I assume it’s Ganyu’s ideals that are being instilled in you.” Cloud Retainer looks at her knowingly, and Shenhe’s eyes glance downward. She’s gotten her started on a rambling.
“Young Shenhe, I will not pour Ganyu’s heart into a fragile bowl for you to simply drink out of, she needs to tell you herself. But if I were to guess, the chance that these feelings are mutual is not as slim as you may think.”
Shenhe does not know what to say. “And.. this is something you’re certain of?”
“As certain and true as the base of this mountain.”
Shenhe intakes a quick breath, sharp and too-sudden. Her stomach swirls with a hope she has stamped down for too long, her skin itches with the need to find out if it is true. It seemed like such a lost cause. She shuts her eyes tight.
“Now if we could stop discussing this, I’d like some tea. And then I believe you have a nightly walk to attend afterwards.”
After that, Shenhe has a new prerogative. She’s going to be up front about her emotions and try to tell Ganyu at their next walk. She’s sure of it.
-
Shenhe walks through the koi pond before she stops at Ganyu’s door that night. She’s rarely here alone, and is able to understand why people find it so tranquil. Despite her mind racing at her newfound discovery of Ganyu’s potential harboring of feelings, the Koi swim so melodically that it stills the noise for a moment. Her eyes naturally drift towards the glaze lily, slightly more unfurled than their last walk.
It taunts her still, but it’s more of an embarrassing nag, a reminder of how immature she’s been acting over the past week.
She still wants to rip the lily up and eat it to hide the evidence of her stupidity. She wants to, so badly. She imagines it, wading into the pond, slushing through the knee-deep water until she steps into the soft moss of the bottom. Letting the Koi inspect the intruder as she pulls the lily from its roots, dragging it out of the pond, out of her subconscious. She wants it to leave her alone. It goads her, laughing at the time that it’s taken to build up the confidence to do this. She has always been a fairly spiteful person despite her training, it would not be uncharacteristic. She could blame it on a lapse of control on her part, her restraint gone for a second..
Logically, she knows the flower has done nothing to her besides being late to bloom. She knows Ganyu would be heartbroken to find their lily gone. So she keeps herself still, watching it. It stares back at her with a vengeful kind of closeness. Maybe she will have a lapse of control. Her hands twitch. Her leg almost moves forward to begin stepping into the pond -
“Shenhe?”
Ganyu calls from the top of the stairs that enter her office. She leans over the ledge, full of winding plants that found sanctuary on the red wooden planks of the fencing. “What are you doing in the garden?” Her voice trembles in a familiar way.
Don’t you usually wait outside the office? She does not say, but Shenhe hears it like she did. Ganyu does this, sometimes, statements that make Shenhe believe that she’s not sure if Shenhe fully wants these walks or her company. It could not be further than the truth.
“I was looking at our lily,” Shenhe says, a relief washing over her. She really was going to tug it out of the moss.
Ganyu huffs, equal parts amused and reprimanding, “Spoiling yourself, I assumed we’d go together.” She leans back, pulling on the fencing. The wood rocks slightly with the weight. She looks expectingly at her, big eyes blinking.
“I apologize.” Is that what she wants to hear?
“Ah, no need for that. Has it bloomed yet?”
“Almost, some of its petals are starting to unfurl.”
“Are they, now?” Ganyu stays at the ledge for a reason Shenhe can’t understand.
“Wouldn’t you like to see it yourself?” Shenhe turns to look at her, and Ganyu’s eyes still have that expectant largeness to them that always renders Shenhe useless. She’s not sure what she wants.
“Perhaps.”
As a possible ailment to her unknowingness, she decides to step away from the pond and towards Ganyu to look at her better. Maybe if she stares into the crescents of her eyes she’ll understand more.
“Would you like to come down?” She tries, still at a loss.
“.. Will you come into my office, first?”
Shenhe blinks. Ganyu rarely did this. “Of.. of course.”
Ganyu smiles before whipping around and walking back into her workplace. Shenhe walks up the stairs tentatively.
She was nothing if not a woman of routine, and this was very much outside of their normal structure for a night. Typically, they were leaving the office, not walking back in.
When she finished walking up the stairs, Ganyu’s holding the door open, and Shenhe walks into a fairly clean-looking office.
“You cleaned in here.”
“Haha, yeah, I thought it was getting pretty bad. I’ve been trying to get it done for the last couple weeks, get everything organized, you know? I didn’t want you to have to see it every time you opened my door, and it got me motivated to tidy up. So.. maybe, now, you could keep me company while I work!”
Ganyu motions to a lush bay window with a padded bench. She’s never seen it before, and finds it odd that she missed it. Maybe it was covered in scrolls or books. It has a gorgeous view of the city, which is starting to dim into the rolling fog from the harbor. Shenhe doesn’t know what this implies. Her stomach rolls over itself in its confusion and hope.
“Keep you company?”
“If.. if you’d like, of course.. I… ah..” Ganyu trails off, looking at the bay window and realizing something. “AH! Nevermind, I know you’re busy, it was silly to suggest, I just..” her voice gets really small, “I.. really enjoy your presence, and I’d like to.. continue to have it.”
Shenhe blinks down at Ganyu, who’s worrying at her lip, fist over her mouth as she looks from Shenhe, to the bay window, to the floor. Her legs shift, and Shenhe doesn’t know what it means. Cloud Retainer's words sink into her skin like ink on paper. Maybe.. maybe it means what she wants it to mean.
Shenhe feels like she’s glowing when she realizes it probably does. She feels wild with the realization, unsure of what to do with the sudden increase in her heart rate.
“Do you mean it?” She says quietly, too quiet for Ganyu to hear. Ganyu steps forwards, craning her head as if to hear better. “Pardon?”
“Ganyu,” Shenhe starts again, a little louder, “do you mean it, when you say you enjoy my presence?”
“Yes!” Ganyu blinks furiously, stepping closer even. “Shenhe, if I could have it, you would be attached to my hip. I would drag you to my meetings, I would steal you away on my trips. I would keep you here, in my office, to just..”
“Ganyu,” She tries again, “you have me.” She tries to put as much emotion as she can behind her words, they come out shaky and uncertain regardless. Ganyu watches her with wide eyes. The office is charged with a sort of tension, one that begs for the window to be opened or for Shenhe to air out the rest of her heart to get rid of it. The blood under her skin itches to get it out.
“I am not one for many words.” Shenhe says, “But if you asked it of me, you would have me. Everywhere you go, Ganyu, I want it so, so badly. More than I have ever wanted anything in my mortal life.”
Ganyu’s sunset eyes search Shenhe’s with awe, confusion, hope. Shenhe steps forward again. “Are you saying what I think you are saying? Do you mean it?” Shenhe clarifies, because she’s not sure what else to say.
Ganyu nods, aggressive and jerky. “I mean it, Shenhe, for.. for months , years .. every day my hands feel empty without you in them, my eyes grow tired when you aren’t in my line of view. And.. it’s scary, and genuine, and I was never sure how you would respond, and..” she shakes her head, “I’m rambling, I apologize.”
Shenhe listens in awe, almost forgetting to respond. “No, no, I -“ She clears her throat, “I feel the same.”
“Do you really?”
Shenhe smiles. “I’ve been trying to.. to show you, that I am yours. I was going to tell you when the glaze lily bloomed, but it never did, and -“
“You were going to tell me when the glaze lily bloomed, that, what, exactly?”
Shenhe swallows, “Uhm.. do.. you want -“
“Please, say it. Let me hear you say it.” Ganyu’s voice trembles slightly, unsure.
“I love you, Ganyu.” Shenhe has to close her eyes to make up for the burning on her cheeks, if she has to look at Ganyu in these circumstances, she will surely explode. “I have been silly in love with you for an embarrassingly long time, and I’ve been too much of a coward to tell you. For.. for fear of you leaving, or not reciprocating, or..”
Ganyu’s hands are grabbing her jaw gently, pitching it up so that Shenhe looks at her. “Well.. luckily for you, I very much reciprocate it.” She smiles, genuine and lovely. “Silly in love,” Ganyu repeats, almost to herself, “Shenhe, you have such a way with words.”
Shenhe leans forward to kiss her before she can overthink it. It feels so right, despite her not knowing the mechanics of a kiss like this.
She has severely underestimated Ganyu’s experience in kissing, Shenhe learns, as Ganyu returns the kiss in full. She tilts their heads to fit together better, loosens Shenhe’s jaw with soft and careful hands so that her tongue can skate around Shenhe’s mouth.
She feels pliable and wanted, like this. Ganyu’s hands circle behind her neck to hold her there, to get closer. After a while of this, of Shenhe standing in place and Ganyu showcasing just how adept she is, she pulls away with a small giggle.
“Shenhe,” She starts, cheeks red and round with her smile, “you can touch me back, you know.” Her hands reach downwards, grabbing Shenhe’s stiff arms and wrapping them around her waist. “You don’t have to hold back, just.. do what you want. I will like it.” And then she kisses her again.
Any extra resolve Shenhe was harboring crumbles, letting her hands run up and down her back. Feeling her strong archer’s back and the small of her waist. She pulls her closer, opens her mouth, allows herself to twist their tongues together and make small, wanting sounds in between their kisses. She allows herself to want, to feel, to take.
Ganyu shivers against her, pulling her towards her now de-cluttered desk. A wave of affection hits Shenhe with a viciousness so strong, it makes her pull from the kiss and bury into Ganyu’s shoulder. Her hands hug her tightly.
“.. Shenhe?”
“So long,” Shenhe mumbles into her skin, “I can’t believe this is real.”
Ganyu lets out a disbelieving puff of air, and it comes dangerously close to the shell of Shenhe’s ear. Shenhe buries deeper.
“My Shenhe, It’s real. I will tell you as many times as you like.”
“You cleaned your office.”
“I did.”
Shenhe lifts herself ever so slightly so that her words are spoken clearly. “The one that has become almost irreparable in its clutter.”
Ganyu laughs, “Yes.”
“For me? So that I didn’t..” She swallows, “So that I didn’t have to sit in it? So I could be here with you?”
Shenhe can’t see, but she feels Ganyu nod. “I see.”
“Do you?” Ganyu asks, genuinely curious, but Shenhe’s mind is lagging behind the words being spoken in this conversation.
“Can you say it, now?” Shenhe blinks up at her. “I would like you,” she swallows, her throat dry and tight, “I would like it if you would say it out loud.”
“Shenhe,” Ganyu breathes, tucking Shenhe’s strands of hair behind her ear. It does little work to keep it out of her face. “I love you.”
Shenhe doesn’t know why, but tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. Ganyu diligently wipes at them before they shed. She’s so thoughtful, and gentle. Her soft hands sweep against her cheeks lovingly, and Shenhe feels the care put into it.
“I love you.” Shenhe echoes the words, because Ganyu has to know it. She grabs Ganyu’s hands in hers, just to feel them, just to know that they’re there. “I love you.”
Ganyu looks caught for a second, speechless. The corners of her face pinch in a way that tells Shenhe that she is holding some kind of emotion back.
Shenhe raises their joined hands to kiss the back of Ganyu’s. Once. Twice. On the third one Ganyu tugs her up to kiss her mouth instead. It’s desperate, not soft or gentle like before, and Shenhe loves her like this too.
She presses further into her, letting the two search for feelings that have been holding secrets between them for too long. Shenhe found it easier to show her, this way, to grasp at her skin and know that it means she wants her. To feel Ganyu’s molars with her tongue and know that she’s been thinking about this every day for years.
Shenhe’s hand clenches in Ganyu’s hair and fits herself in between her thighs, which part easily. Ganyu sighs in affirmation.
They kiss for a long time. Shenhe’s not sure how long she’s been standing like this, but she doesn’t necessarily mind. Ganyu keeps huffing and breathing and murmuring words of praise that spur Shenhe on. She never imagined kissing Ganyu could look like this, that Ganyu would let her have this for so long.
At some point, her hand wanders up to Ganyu’s horns, feeling around the base of them. She remembers all that time ago, when she had asked to feel them. She’s been aching to touch them since.
Ganyu goes completely stiff. Shenhe pulls back to look at her, not taking her hands from where they are, gently massaging at it.
“Ganyu?”
Ganyu shudders, blinking hard. Her eyes look a little dazed. Shenhe tilts her head, exploring the rest of the horns with reverence and curiosity. “Is.. this okay?”
Ganyu gasps, nodding furiously, “I.. ah.. It feels fine..” she knocks her head against Shenhe’s shoulder, “it’s nice, they’re just.. extremely sensitive ..”
Ganyu kisses at her neck absentmindedly, making humming noises into it as Shenhe indulges her curiousity. “Do you remember that first time I asked to touch them?”
Ganyu nods after a second, “Mmh, you still called me Ms. Ganyu, then.”
Shenhe smiles, “I did.” Her hands go back to the base of them, and Ganyu startles. “I’ve been thinking about it since I first touched them.”
“Have.. have you?” Ganyu’s fingers clench around Shenhe’s clothes.
“I have. Are you sure this is alright?” Shenhe presses a little harder as she massages. Ganyu shakes with it, burrowing deeper into the base of her neck with another gasp. “Maybe.. maybe later.. I fear we m - hah..” She’s winded, breathing heavily, “I fear we may never make it out of this office if you continue.”
A spark of intrigue shoots down Shenhe’s back, but she obediently removes her hands and instead works them to lift Ganyu up from her shoulder. “Did you still want to see the dogs?”
Her eyes widen, “The dogs.. I almost forgot about them!”
Shenhe kisses her cheek, “It’s late, I’m sure they’re wondering where you are.”
-
The dogs run up to greet them enthusiastically when they arrive at the clearing. Ganyu kneels to let them pounce and lick and paw at her, and Shenhe watches. She’s not ashamed to be watching her like this anymore. When Ganyu turns to look back at her, Shenhe doesn’t bother hiding the adoration buried in it. Ganyu’s eyes soften under her gaze.
Pom meanders over to Shenhe and sits at her feet, waiting for her to join. She positions herself next to Ganyu so that their shoulders brush, and she laughs under her breath. It’s everything she’s ever wanted. Pom curls in her lap and Ganyu strokes through her muddled fur.
“I forgot the brushes.” Shenhe says, trying to gently untangle the clumps of hair behind Pom’s ears. She works through the mat with her hands just as she works through the sap of giddiness in her stomach. Slowly, absentmindedly, softly. It’s a feeling only Ganyu could make her feel. And her hands have never been this gentle.
“Another night, my dear Shenhe.”
“Mmh.”
-
When Shenhe walks Ganyu back, and they reach her small home, a familiar sense of dread replaces the giddy. This will come to an end, and Shenhe will return to her own abode with all of this new emotion and no outlet. She sighs.
“Shenhe,” Ganyu rocks back on her heels, “would.. would you like to come in? To stay? Tonight?”
The dread leaves her body like someone has performed an exorcism on it. She nods quickly, stumbling after Ganyu as she walks into the home.
It’s quaint, hardly one room, but cozy in a way Shenhe can only describe as ‘Ganyu’. Her bed is large, excess blankets and pillows and throws. It looks comfortable.
Ganyu rubs at her cheek sheepishly, “I know it’s.. maybe a bit much.. but I like it.”
“No, no..” Shenhe grins, “It’s nice.” She looks at Ganyu in earnest. “It’s you.”
She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but Ganyu’s reaction makes it worth it, she covers her face with her hands and runs to the washroom. “Warn a woman before saying such things! I’m.. I’m going to change!”
Shenhe smiles to herself and continues to explore the room until Ganyu gets back. There’s a bed, a cluttered desk, a small kitchen that Shenhe is sure never sees use, and an excess amount of lanterns and lamps everywhere. There’s one in particular, a beautiful glass lamp crafted to resemble a qingxin flower that catches Shenhe’s eye.
Ganyu discovers her in the act of inspecting it, “A couple years ago I got into collecting them.” She says it with a smile to her voice. Shenhe startles, looking back like she’s been caught. “It’s very pretty.”
“Thank you.” Ganyu says plainly. She’s wearing night robes that fit loose and comfortable. Shenhe regards them slowly, drinking it in like water after a day in the sun.
“What - What is it?” Ganyu tugs at the fabric like there’s something wrong with it. Shenhe blinks, “No, nothing, I just.. I never see you in clothes like this.”
Ganyu giggles, “Like what you see?” She says teasingly, and Shenhe smiles. “Mhm.”
“Ah! Okay! Enough! That’s enough!” Ganyu shoos her away with quick hands as Shenhe laughs, grabbing her them to kiss daintily at her fingers.
They spend the rest of the night allowing themselves to look, allowing themselves to kiss, hopeful that they can do this every night after this. They fall asleep in each other’s arms, murmuring affirmations, small “I love you’s” for no one but themselves to hear.
-
Shenhe doesn’t think she’s slept so well in months. She wakes up to a pair of arms around her waist, holding her tight. She can feel breath on the back of her neck as Ganyu burrows her face into it. Shenhe always knew Ganyu slept in late, but the sun is too bright for her to justify still being asleep.
She maneuvers herself to turn around, just to look at the woman in bed with her, and her breath catches.
She sleeps with her mouth closed, a perfected art, and her body curls in on itself slightly. She had insisted on putting her hair into a neat bun before falling asleep, and now it cascades around her in its messiness. She looks like a painting, like a poem, like so much that Shenhe’s brain isn’t lyrical enough to put words to. People go to war to be able to wake up next to this.
Ganyu murmurs something, pulling Shenhe close again, and any thoughts of leaving the bed go stale. She runs her hands up and down the entirety of Ganyu’s body. From the small of her waist to the nape of her neck, she caresses it with careful strokes until Ganyu begins to stir.
Eventually, Ganyu mumbles, yawning, stretching like a cat. Her eyes open blearily, and she immediately smiles as she does. She pulls her close again, bringing her into a sleepy kiss. Shenhe returns it sweetly, feeling starved for it.
“Mm.. good morning..” Ganyu grins as she kisses down Shenhe’s jawline and neck with sweet pecks. Shenhe moves Ganyu‘a hair out of her face, “Did you sleep alright?”
“The best sleep I’ve had in years.” Ganyu answers earnestly.
-
Shenhe insists on walking Ganyu to work. It’s not far, and she wants to soak up as much time as she can until she sees her again tonight. Ganyu grabs Shenhe’s hand as they leave, intertwining their fingers. Her thumb caresses her knuckles absentmindedly as she drags her along the pavement.
Before they reach the garden, they spot Ms. Keqing leaning against the entrance. “Ganyu.” She greets her curtly, and then looks at Shenhe. “Shenhe.” Her eyes unsubtly look down at their conjoined hands. “I see, that’s why you weren’t here early today.”
Ganyu splutters, “Keqing, I promise it’s not - I just - ah, I’m sorry. Did you need to speak to me about something?”
Keqing nods, “I came to check in on how you were doing with a.. certain situation.” She pointedly looks at Shenhe, who has no idea what she’s talking about. “But it seems to be cleared up, now.”
“Yes, very much cleared up!” Ganyu leans into Shenhe’s shoulder, skin brushing skin, and Shenhe looks down in her awkwardness. “Anything else?”
“Lady Ningguang has some new papers that need to be reviewed and stored, if you could. I’d do it but I have to chase some people down, today.”
Ganyu waves her hands, bringing Shenhe’s up with her. “No worries at all, do you have them?”
“I left them in a basket on your desk. I thought I’d find you in there, apologies for the intrusion.”
“Keqing is always welcome.” Ganyu smiles sweetly, squeezing Shenhe’s hand.
“Well, if all is well now, I’ll get on with my day. I’ll see.. both of you later. Ganyu, Shenhe.” She nods a casual bow to both of them as she leaves. “Congratulations on finally saying something.” Ganyu’s face goes red.
Shenhe’s never really understood Keqing. She talks like Shenhe, short-worded and blunt, but she also somehow managed to speak as if she knew what someone was going to be saying the whole time. It’s rather unnerving, and extremely confusing, and Shenhe doesn’t understand her friendship with Ganyu. She doesn’t really know what was just exchanged between the two, and she’s not sure she cares to. It would most likely result in headache.
Ganyu kisses Shenhe’s cheek before turning for her office, “I’ll see you tonight?”
Shenhe nods, the shock from the kiss turning her dumb. “Mhm.”
Ganyu smiles, and before Shenhe can overthink it, grabs Ganyu in by the waist, spins her around, and kisses her deeply. On the balcony. In plain daylight. Ganyu hums into the kiss, like she’s been waiting for her to do it. Shenhe kisses her thoroughly before pulling away. “I’ll miss you.”
She always misses her. She doesn’t want to leave. Ganyu’s face is red and lovely as she stares at her. “Shenhe.. you can’t say that stuff.. I’ll explode! I really will!”
Shenhe huffs, “I’ll do my best.” She turns to leave, but as she does, Ganyu clears her throat. “Shenhe, on our walk tonight, if the glaze lily is bloomed, I’m going to confess.”
“Don’t tease.”
Ganyu laughs, giddy, “I really am. And I think it’s going to bloom!”
“Mhm. I’ll see you tonight, Ganyu.”
“Have a good day, Shenhe.”
“I have a feeling I will.”