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Sophie hated herself for what she’d done, she hated that she’d ran out on him whilst he slept but she’d never meant to sleep with him. She’d never meant to let herself give into the feelings she’d been suppressing. She had tucked away her feelings for him, burying them beneath layers of reason and restraint, even as her heart whispered otherwise.
She’d been determined that she would learn from her mother’s lessons. She was not someone of his class, she was his brother’s nanny, she looked after his nephews… she knew a relationship between them would be impossible, no matter what her heart was telling her.
Her step mother had spent years telling her what a burden she was, even if it wasn’t unreasonable and uncommon for a child to be born out of wedlock nowadays but she’d spent years being told she was unlovable and unwanted and it had crept in her mind and plagued her so when a man like Benedict Bridgerton showed interest in her, wanted to be with her, she couldn’t help but think it was some sort ploy.
Her mother had been a bartender and waitress at the pub that Sophie’s father’s family owned and after weeks and weeks of talking to her, making her feel special, she caved and after one night, one magical night, Sophie was the result.
When her mother had gone to speak to Sophie’s father, his father had found out what had gone on, fired her and left her without a job, a home and with a baby on the way.
And this was what Sophie was afraid of. They say that a smart person learns from her mistakes, but a truly smart person learns from other people’s mistakes and she’d been determined not to follow in her mother’s footsteps and with one night… one magical night she had thrown that all away.
With a hand on her flat stomach she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if she was pregnant with Benedict’s child. She would love the baby, she knew she would but she didn’t want her child to have the same stigma that she seemed to attract.
She loved Benedict, she knew that much too. She loved him with all her heart and soul and she knew there wasn’t another man alive that could compete. It had been a magical night but waking up in the cold light of the morning, lying in the bed next to him, shame swirled in her and she’d grabbed her clothes and ran for it.
She worked for his brother, she cared for his nephews. Her job as a nanny for Anthony was the best job she’d ever had and she loved Edmund and Miles more than she’d ever thought possible and she loved Kate as well but now…
Now she was going to have to leave, how was she supposed to face Benedict, heck, how was she supposed to face Anthony knowing she’d done what she’d done.
She moved to sit on her bed, looking around the tiny apartment that Anthony provided as part of her job and she knew that she was in exactly the same position as her mother.
Once he found out, she would be jobless and homeless and there was nothing she could do about it and if there was a baby…
She buried her face in her hands, closed her eyes and cried, wondering how on earth she was going to get out of this with her life still intact.
But as she sobbed into her hands she heard a knock at the door and she froze.
“Sophie! Sophie I know you’re in here!! Let me in!!!”