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What the hell, Dianxia!?
“Sorry, I must’ve heard wrong…” Mu Qing pointed at His Highness, then at Hua Cheng, who was smirking like he’d orchestrated the whole thing and convinced Xie Lian to go along with it. Mu Qing turned to Feng Xin, his fists clenched. “You’re saying we should exchange gifts?”
“Yes.” Xie Lian nodded cheerfully, his eyes crinkling into small crescents as he rested his head on Hua Cheng’s shoulder. “I wanted to give you two something that you might like, you know after everything we’ve been through together, but San Lang suggested we all exchange gifts now that he’s back, just to show our appreciation.” He winked at Mu Qing.
“I beg your pardon?!”
“Then beg,” Hua Cheng rolled his eyes before Mu Qing could show him how the boss does it.
Mu Qing sighed and glanced at Feng Xin, who was far too calm for his own good. He barely reacted when Xie Lian told them about this new crazy tradition, insisting that they should show each other how much they cared because that’s what... f-f-friends do.
“Then, let’s start!” Xie Lian smiled, handing them each a sheet of paper.
“This is really childish,” Mu Qing grumbled as he scribbled his name, folded the paper neatly, and tossed it into the small container holding all their names.
“Who wants to pick first?” Hua Cheng raised his hand, smiling as he reached into the container and pulled out a slip of paper. “Who is it?”
Hua Cheng burned the paper and smiled. “Gege, it’s a secret, remember?”
Tch. From the looks of it, he definitely cheated to get Xie Lian’s name.
“Ah, right.” Xie Lian scratched his head before picking his own name. He read it silently, though his smile already gave away that he had picked Hua Cheng.
That left Mu Qing and Feng Xin, likely picking each other. Mu Qing hoped he was wrong. He wanted to pick Xie Lian’s name because he’d always longed to give back to him. Their friendship had never been smooth—it had more ups and downs than the Tibetan ridge—but he never wished harm on His Highness, contrary to popular belief as to why they fell apart. He only ever wanted what was best and practical for him. And he yearned to always stay by his side as a friend.
Of course, that place had been claimed by Hua Cheng, and for good reason. Mu Qing would rather jump into a pool of lava again than admit it, but he was content to still be close to Xie Lian.
“It’s up to you now, Feng Xin, Mu Qing.”
“Will you two reach in at the same time?” Hua Cheng snickered. “Or are you too much of a pussy to hold hands?”
“Fuck you,” Feng Xin finally muttered as he reached into the container.
Mu Qing watched as Feng Xin opened his hand, read the name on the slip, then crumpled it and held it in his fist. He barely reacted. There was a strong possibility he had picked Mu Qing’s name. That should have ticked him off, right? But he didn’t even flinch.
“It’s your turn, Mu Qing.”
He reached into the container, catching sight of a very awful attempt in calligraphy.
Feng Xin.
Of freaking course. It felt like Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were toying with him, teasing him about his not-so-secret crush on his rival and co-ruler of the South for the past 800 years.
It was no surprise, really. How was Mu Qing supposed to focus on anything else when a dazzling himbo, with the rightful looks of the god of masculinity and sex himself, was always within view in the heavens? Feng Xin seemed to pop up at the most inconvenient times, and he never missed a chance to pick on Mu Qing, which was mind-boggling and very physically exhausting. They were practically inseparable, always within each other’s orbit. So forgive him, but there was no way to avoid falling for Feng Xin. And the worst part? Hua Cheng and Xie Lian knew all about it and plotted this senseless “friendly” tradition as Xie Lian insisted, and it drove him crazy!
It was a cruel joke, giving him this one chance to give Feng Xin something out of love, knowing full well Feng Xin would never reciprocate.
It was futile.
And impossible.
But if he’d managed to keep it a secret from everyone for nearly a millennium then there shouldn’t be any problem giving Feng Xin something a tad bit intimate. Well, they are friends now, right?
Mu Qing sighed, turning to Xie Lian. “So, when are we exchanging gifts?”
“Hmm…” Xie Lian thought aloud. “How about in three days?”
Mu Qing’s brows furrowed. “Why in three days, exactly?”
“Well… it’s not too soon and not too late, right?” Xie Lian smiled at Mu Qing. “Are you busy that day?”
He hesitated. He should be busy. If everything went smoothly in his territory, good for him, but he still had somewhere to go in three days. It was a yearly thing… for him… all alone. It is the day of his ascension. He would go to his mother’s home, light an incense in her honor, and spend the day with her. She was all he had, and he wanted to cherish every moment he had with her.
But this year was different.
He wasn’t alone anymore. He had friends now, and Xie Lian had Hua Cheng back. Everyone dear to Xie Lian would probably be there for this absurd “get-together” in his honor. And Mu Qing wanted to make Xie Lian happy obviously.
“I’ll try my best, Dianxia.”
“Great! Thank you, Mu Qing—”
“But I can’t guarantee it. Something might come up at the last minute. If things get too hectic, I’ll have someone bring my gift here.”
“I really hope it doesn’t come to that. I’d love for us to be together.”
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What should I get for that dumbass?
Mu Qing paced back and forth in his quarters. He was supposed to be writing reports, but barely four minutes in, he found himself making a list of things Feng Xin liked.
A new bow? That would be pointless. Feng Xin held Fengshen in the highest regard; it was like an extension of himself. He would never accept a replacement.
A classy golden ribbon? It was about time Feng Xin replaced that godforsaken talisman ribbon. It was so ugly, covered in oversized scribbles of a prayer for safety, begging for someone to smite it in half. He might consider a new talisman ribbon, but Mu Qing knew Feng Xin wouldn’t wear it—he wasn’t one to accept change easily.
An earring? That had crossed Mu Qing’s mind, but he worried it might be too… romantic . Bestowing someone with a piece of jewelry felt too intimate, and Mu Qing had no right to give anything to Feng Xin, especially knowing how much the man had loathed him for as long as he could remember. It would just make things impossibly weirder for both of them.
“New robe?” Mu Qing smeared the characters harshly, coating the symbols in black ink.
Giving him new robes would be too basic and ultimately futile. Feng Xin was far too comfortable in his own questionable style, and besides, he barely wore anything at night. How did Mu Qing know this? They had lived together back in their Xianle days for heaven’s sake! And Feng Xin only ever donned his slacks to sleep. After ascending to godhood? Oh, he was an even bigger pain in the ass because he slept bare! Mu Qing had learned that the hard way after barging into Feng Xin’s quarters more times than he cared to admit, thinking they could discuss matters regarding the South in a very professional manner and without compromising Mu Qing’s eyesight and chastity. Clearly, clothes would be useless for Feng Xin.
“I mean…” Mu Qing blushed. “Wait, no! No, god dammit Mu Qing! Get it together!” He forced the vulgar thought away, trying to act like any rational person who swore they hated Feng Xin and definitely didn’t find him attractive. “What on earth am I supposed to get that jerk?!”
What does Feng Xin even like?
Apples…
Awful jokes…
Dogs…
Food…
Jian Lan…
“I don’t love her anymore.” Feng Xin’s voice echoed in the quiet of Mu Qing’s chambers. He glanced around, his heart racing so fast he felt like he might faint if he spotted Feng Xin lurking in the corner with that annoyingly handsome smirk on his face.
But he wasn’t there—only the memory of Feng Xin explaining to Mu Qing and Xie Lian that his pursuit of Jian Lan and Cuo Cuo wasn’t about rekindling his first love; it was driven by a sense of responsibility. He respected her wishes like the gentleman he was, yet he also wanted to ensure their safety and well-being because they were his family. He wanted to make up for his absence but only if Jian Lan would hear his own wishes. Although, that would serve him no good because Jian Lan just didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. She’s moved on.
“I like someone else.” There it was again—Feng Xin’s voice! But Feng Xin wasn’t there!
“What the… Am I hallucinating?” Mu Qing muttered, gripping his head in frustration. “Why am I even thinking about this again?” His voice shrank into a sad whisper, accepting the very painful sting of unrequited love because there was no way the person Feng Xin liked was him. Over Feng Xin’s hot and sexy dead body! He’d abhorred that possibility ever happening.
It could be Dianxia.
If not Jian Lan, then definitely Dianxia.
It had to be Dianxia.
Feng Xin was fiercely loyal, nearly as devoted as Hua Cheng, willing to do anything and everything for His Highness the Crown Prince. That’s just how he was. And Feng Xin had never shared a certain kind of closeness with anyone else, except maybe Mu Qing and Dianxia. Sure, Mu Qing spent far more time with him than Xie Lian did, but those years were played out and wasted foolishly by their rivalry. That tension always got in their way, never allowing vulnerable feelings such as love and only overshadowed by a hate that’s so fake yet so powerful.
When he found out he yearned for Feng Xin, Mu Qing knew he was doomed.
“Who am I kidding…” He sighed. “He’s already decided who and what I am.”
Ah, the joys of running in circles—misunderstanding each other while both knew the damn truth but refused to admit defeat. Why would Mu Qing yield first when he never wished true harm on anyone and neither was he a traitor for no reason? Sure, he held beliefs that clashed with Feng Xin’s, while Feng Xin seemed to have muscles for brains that’s why he speaks with his fist and never with reason, their perspectives never finding common ground.
Then again, Feng Xin wasn’t really dumb. Mu Qing only liked to pretend he was, dismissing him as too idealistic, too compassionate, too noble. The real world was harsh to kind people, and every attempt to advise Feng Xin felt… pointless . He simply didn’t listen to Mu Qing.
They just didn’t operate on the same wavelength, like asymptotes forever approaching each other but never meeting. There was always a significant distance between them, no matter how close they walked alongside each other.
So yes, this gift-giving tradition felt superfluous, especially when he knew the real reason behind it. Xie Lian just wanted him to find someone like Hua Cheng as if Mu Qing offering Feng Xin his heart would immediately get him his love. But Xie Lian was wrong. Feng Xin would never be the Hua Cheng in Mu Qing’s life. Not all people can be too lucky to love and be loved.
“Dianxia fell in love once, and now he thinks everyone should have a relationship like his,” Mu Qing muttered, rolling his eyes as he crossed out suggestions for Feng Xin’s gift. “This is just ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous?”
“There it is again.” Mu Qing sighed for the hundredth time that day. “The voice of my sworn enemy taunting me with his—” His eyes widened as he spotted a very real and very confused Feng Xin standing in the doorway.
“Mu Qing… are you okay?” Feng Xin asked, his brows furrowing in concern.
“Of course I am! Why are you even here?!” Mu Qing quickly crumpled the papers in front of him, not quite as discreetly as he intended because it seemed Feng Xin had caught sight of his notes on what to get him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t dwell on it like Mu Qing does. A normal amount of intrigue should be alright. “You should’ve called for me in the array.”
“I did. All night. You were blocking everyone out.”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “No, I did not. I don’t block important people,” he scoffed.
“Did you even sleep?”
“Huh?”
“Look at yourself!” Feng Xin grabbed a mirror and thrust it toward Mu Qing. “You look like shit.”
Holy crap.
Mu Qing, the most beautiful and glamorous god of the heavens, stared at the dull, lifeless figure before him—disheveled hair, dark circles under his eyes, and ghostly pale lips. His jaw dropped, and so did the other man's.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He turned to Feng Xin, pouting. “What kept you up all night, huh?”
You, dumbass!
“Nothing,” he replied. “I was just busy making reports,” he reasoned, rummaging through his scrolls and jotting down random lies regarding the Southwest to appease Feng Xin’s suspicions. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to ask you something.” Feng Xin plopped down in the chair across from him with a resigned sigh. “If you were to give someone you like a gift, what would it be?”
Mu Qing’s brows knitted into a scowl as he rolled his eyes, then set the mirror aside to face Feng Xin with an offended expression. “I’m not a counselor you can just barge into my office for advice. If you want to patch things up with the love of your life, go ask Dianxia or the love-fuck expert, Pei Ming.”
Despite his contemptuous tone, Mu Qing felt a tug at his heartstrings. No matter how many times he told himself the obvious truth, it still ached to realize that Feng Xin had a significant other—and that he was giving a gift to that special person in his life. How pitiful it was that Feng Xin had come to Mu Qing for suggestions, as if he would be willing and enthusiastic to help at the expense of his own heart breaking.
“I told you, it’s not Jian Lan.” Mu Qing hated how he sighed in relief. “It’s for someone else.”
There goes my momentary solace.
“What made you think I like someone enough to give them a gift? You actually came asking for my help with that?” Mu Qing murmured as he rolled his eyes.
“You think Dianxia would give me a realistic answer?” Feng Xin shot back. Mu Qing couldn’t help but snort. It was amusing to hear Feng Xin joke about Xie Lian when, not long ago, he would have beaten Mu Qing up for saying something similar. “And did you seriously just suggest I ask Pei Ming for advice?”
“What? He’s the god of love , isn’t he?”
“Ha! Love…” Feng Xin shook his head, clearly disapproving of the affectionate title while he’s cursed to walk the heavens and the earth with the burden of his massive popularity—all because of a fucking error in his name. “There’s no way that man would give me any helpful advice. Except maybe…” He paused, biting his lip as he stared at Mu Qing, who was internally panicking at the salacious glint in Feng Xin’s golden gaze. “Fuck the person I like?” He smiled smugly.
Damn… Get it together, Mu Qing! You’re Xuan Zhen, remember?!
“Then listen to Ming Guang for all I care.” Mu Qing was surprised he managed to speak without squeaking like an impassioned maiden. “Honestly, Feng Xin, how can I help you with this?”
Feng Xin sighed and leaned over Mu Qing’s desk, resting his head on his palm. “Mu Qing, have you never been in love?”
Mu Qing could only stare back at Feng Xin, coherent words refusing to escape his lips as if he had run out of answers to every question in this world as a first. But the thing is he did have an answer to this specific question, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not to him. Not now.
“You’re sounding an awful lot like Pei Ming.”
Feng Xin frowned. “I’m just curious.”
“And here I thought the infamous General Nan Yang would never engage in gossip.”
“Never too late to catch up on the trends,” Feng Xin replied casually. “Besides, I just want to talk to you about this.”
“Why would you want to?” Mu Qing’s tone was harsh and dismissive. “You’ve existed long enough without really knowing me, and now you’re asking something so personal? What’s wrong with you?”
“What are you so mad about? I’m just asking!” Feng Xin’s voice rose in intensity, reminiscent of the times he had yelled at Mu Qing just for speaking his mind. It felt as though all the progress of their supposed friendship was unraveling, as if they were always destined to fall apart.
“Because…” Mu Qing gestured vaguely, groaning in frustration. “You’re probing!”
“I’m just trying to get to know you! What’s wrong with that?!”
“Everything! Because why now, huh?! You used to barely glance at me without trying to punch me in the face, and now you’re acting like we’re close enough to converse about our personal lives?”
“Mu Qing, what the fuck are you talking about?!” Feng Xin shouted. “Never mind, this is pointless,” he stood up and turned to leave.
“Glad you know. Next time, don’t barge into my office as if you own the place just to discuss something so trivial.”
“You know, you don’t always have to act like a heartless jerk,” Feng Xin shot back. He slid the door open and paused for a moment, glancing at Mu Qing. “Especially to people who care about you.”
A loud thud reverberated through Mu Qing’s chambers, the impact striking hard at his heart. He clutched his chest, trying to calm the tugging at his heartstrings.
“Dianxia… it’s really pointless,” he cried. “No matter what, we’ll only end up hating each other.”
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“Nan Yang didn’t come to the meeting,” a masculine voice called from behind Mu Qing. “Is something wrong, Xuan Zhen?”
“Why would you ask me? I’m not his keeper,” Mu Qing retorted, rolling his eyes without bothering to glance at Pei Ming walking beside him.
“Well, since you’re ruling the South together, shouldn’t you both be present for important meetings like this?” Pei Ming raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. Mu Qing could sense trouble brewing. “And aren’t you two already quite close?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, General Pei,” Mu Qing replied coolly as he gathered the scrolls containing the meeting minutes—a duty he had taken on after the fall of the Palace of Ling Wen. “If you’re so eager to find him, why not just contact him through a private array?”
“I would, but I’m blocked.”
Wow, that idiot knew how to shut people out, too?
“Can’t imagine why he’d block you, General.”
“Yeah,” Pei Ming giggled, stepping in front of Mu Qing and halting him in his tracks. A smirk danced on his pretty face. “He came to my palace asking for advice,” he said, leaning in just inches away. Mu Qing had to press his scrolls against the Northern god to maintain a safe distance.
“He asked for your advice?” Mu Qing laughed.
“He sure did.”
Huh… Feng Xin was that desperate.
“And?”
“I told him the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Pei Ming whispered as his gaze trailed Mu Qing’s crotch to his abdomen. Then he looked at him and winked.
“What does that have to do with me?”
Pei Ming sidestepped, a playful glint in his eyes. “Oh, you’ll find out,” he said, turning to walk in the opposite direction.
Mu Qing stared after him, brows knitted in confusion. What on earth was that conversation about?
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For three days, Mu Qing had been ruminating, nearly driving himself mad trying to think of the perfect gift for Feng Xin.
He got nothing.
He had planned to skip their gathering at Puqi Shrine, but before he could hide away in the mortal realm, Xie Lian appeared before him like a ghost, more than ready to drag him out of his palace.
“Dianxia…”
“Hehe.” Xie Lian beamed at him.
“Please, let me go.”
“No,” Xie Lian replied, his smile unwavering, eyes and lips curving into crescents. “I’m taking you home.”
“I am home.” Mu Qing winced as Xie Lian tightened his grip on his wrist, compelling him to follow behind him. “I can walk. Just let me go.”
“Not until it’s over, Mu Qing. We’re doing this for both of you.”
“Both?!”
Xie Lian’s expression turned playful. “I meant for all of us.”
“No, you said ‘both.’ What do you mean?” Mu Qing protested, trying to pull away from Xie Lian. “Dianxia, we don’t have to do this. I haven’t even gotten anything for Feng Xin. L-Let me buy him something first.”
“Oh, I know you’ve got something for him. You’re just hiding it. You’ll summon it later.”
“No, I really didn’t get him anything—”
His protests were cut short as Xie Lian pulled him to the edge of Heaven’s Cliff, launching them into the clouds with a gasp. Mu Qing could barely process what happened before they landed at the gate to Puqi Shrine, his face cold and hair tousled.
“Dianxia, you know you can just teleport, right? Your shackles are broken. What’s the point of cliff diving when you’re a god?” Mu Qing grumbled, attempting to straighten his wrinkled robes but eventually using his powers to fix himself.
“Ah, sorry! I’ve just gotten so used to it,” Xie Lian said, still smiling. The more Mu Qing looked at him, the more he resembled a freshly steamed bao, grinning with its delicate folds. It was impossible to get mad at his f-f-friend.
Mu Qing sighed and glanced at the temple. “It’s hard to believe Crimson Dickhead didn’t come with you. Hua Cheng is usually glued to your side. Did he stay behind?”
“San Lang had to go somewhere. He should be back soon.”
As they approached the entrance of the temple, they heard murmurs from inside.
“Shut the fuck please! I’m trying to think!” Feng Xin’s voice boomed, making Mu Qing gulp.
“It’s pointless debating with me. You know I’m right.” said Hua Cheng. Mu Qing could hear the shit-eating grin in that deep voice.
“Well, I guess he’s back,” Xie Lian said, holding onto Mu Qing’s wrist to keep him from backing out. “There’s no turning back now, Mu Qing.”
“Is it too late to throw myself into E’ming?”
“Yes.”
“Dianxia please, I—”
“Mu Qing?”
He met Feng Xin’s gaze. It had been two days since their last encounter at his palace. He remembered Feng Xin looking dashing and confident as he shamelessly talked about love and gifts to a sleep-deprived and very much emotionally frustrated Mu Qing. Now, however, he appeared as if he’d been trapped in a women’s bathhouse for days. His scornful scowl was deeper than usual, his lips dry and chapped, and his eyes bore the weight of an eternity of exhaustion. Not to mention, his hands were marred with burns and cuts.
“What the hell happened to you this time?” he asked, immediately reaching for Feng Xin’s hand to inspect his wounds.
Feng Xin pulled his arm away and clicked his tongue. “It’s nothing. Don’t mind it.”
“It’s not nothing, you idiot. Were you attacked—” His concern was interrupted by Xie Lian and Hua Cheng’s teasing glances from behind Feng Xin. “Whatever. I don’t care.” He huffed, rolling his eyes as if that would convince them he wasn’t worried about Feng Xin. In truth, he cared more than he could ever express.
Fuck this love bullshit.
“Feng Xin, what have you been up to?” Xie Lian asked, his tone more curious than judgmental, although his eyes flickered with intent to tease Mu Qing.
“I got caught up with a very difficult task—”
“Gege, should I save you the boring details and tell you what really happened?” Hua Cheng interjected, smirking with delight at the thought of humiliating Feng Xin, whose hazel eyes burned with anger as they met Hua Cheng’s fiery brown one.
“Ah, that’s alright, San Lang. Feng Xin doesn’t want to talk about it. It must have been such a hassle, right?” Xie Lian said with a knowing smile and a wink.
Feng Xin sighed. “Very.”
“Was it worth it?” Mu Qing asked, locking eyes with Feng Xin.
“I truly hope so,” Feng Xin replied, his small voice yearning for hope as he stared deeply into Mu Qing's soul.
What on earth was going on?
“Right!” Xie Lian clapped, redirecting their attention. “Did you bring your gifts?”
“I did,” Hua Cheng said proudly, flicking his fingers. A horde of silver wraith butterflies immediately fluttered toward Xie Lian. Feng Xin and Mu Qing would have stepped forward to protect him, but they knew Hua Cheng’s tricks all too well. These deadly butterflies would never harm His Highness. “I know you love weapons, so I forged you a new sword.” As he spoke, the wraith butterflies lined up, transforming into a sharp silver sword with a brilliant flash. The handle was delicately engraved with a butterfly and a white flower.
Xie Lian gasped, jumping onto his tiptoes before grasping the hilt of the sword and swinging it, relishing the sharpness slicing through the air. “San Lang! I can’t thank you enough!” he exclaimed, rushing to Hua Cheng and hugging him tightly. “Thank you!”
“Anything for Gege,” Hua Cheng murmured, brushing his lips over Xie Lian’s brown hair and kissing his head gently.
Mu Qing and Feng Xin exchanged glances filled with disgust. While they were genuinely happy for Xie Lian that Hua Cheng had returned to him, it meant enduring their obnoxiously adorable displays of affection. Their love was so sweet it bordered on sickening.
“Alright, you can let go now,” Mu Qing finally said after what felt like an eternity. “I’m guessing Dianxia has something for Hua Cheng now?”
“Ah, how did you know?” Xie Lian, much to his chagrin, sighed and palmed his forehead.
“It’s too obvious,” Feng Xin and Mu Qing replied in unison, arms crossed. “Save us the act. What did you get him?”
Xie Lian stood up and headed to his small kitchen, retrieving a pot of roasted dreams and sweet nightmares. Mu Qing immediately covered his mouth, struggling against the wretched stench of burnt hopes, while Feng Xin gagged. “San Lang wanted me to cook something for him. I, uh, tried to recreate the ‘Love for All Seasons’ stew but missed an ingredient, so this is my new and fresh ‘Blossoming Love for Eternity.’”
Hua Cheng clapped and laughed heartily as Xie Lian poured him a bowl of what looked like the devil’s plum ballsack simmered in boiling lava, surrounded by a broth of mud and creek water. It resembled—and smelled like—one’s last supper.
Feng Xin elbowed Mu Qing, eyeing the dish. “What the fuck even is that?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything that bad cooked by him,” Mu Qing whispered.
“Gege, let me try this.” Hua Cheng grabbed wooden chopsticks and dove into the bowl, pinching out unexpected noodles and biting on what seemed to be taro. Mu Qing would’ve feared for Hua Cheng’s life if he weren’t already dead. “Gege…”
All eyes were on Hua Cheng as he turned to Xie Lian. His Highness clutched his robes tightly, anxious to hear whether Hua Cheng would finally critique his barely-even-there cooking skills or play the madman in love with the most terrible chef in the world.
“It’s so delicious! I’m beyond grateful to have eaten this dish that Gege cooked just for me,” Hua Cheng said softly, his eyes sparkling with delight as he looked at Xie Lian, as if he were the one who hung the moon and stars and everything good in this world.
“Really? I thought it was a bit salty,” Xie Lian sighed, relieved yet unsure. “But I’m glad you liked it.”
“Gege, you should share this with your friends!” Hua Cheng teased, a mischievous smile spreading across his face as he glanced at Mu Qing and Feng Xin. “I’m sure they’d love to have a taste.” He even nudged his bowl toward the two southern gods.
Mu Qing quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, fighting the urge to vomit. He would never, and he meant never , take another bite of Xie Lian’s godforsaken cooking.
“No,” Feng Xin exclaimed, his hand instinctively shielding the unholy mixture of dread and overcooked vegetables in Hua Cheng’s bowl. “He’s not eating that.”
“And why’s that?” Hua Cheng asked, raising an eyebrow with a grin.
Feng Xin didn’t reply immediately. Istead, he summoned a basket of… “Raspberries?” Mu Qing’s eyes narrowed at the sight.
“It’s for…” Feng Xin cleared his throat, shying away from Mu Qing’s confused gaze. “It’s for you, Mu Qing.”
“Raspberries?” Xie Lian chuckled. “I thought Mu Qing liked cherries.”
“No, he doesn’t. The cherries were for his mom. Cherries help with heart health, boost sleep quality, and lower inflammation,” Feng Xin clarified, almost rambling. Then he finally met Mu Qing’s eyes. “But you... you like raspberries. I remember seeing you buy a bunch when we went to the capital. One time, I even asked if you were hurt because there was blood on your wrist and the side of your lip, but you brushed me off, saying it was none of my business. I didn’t realize until later that you were just munching on raspberries and didn’t want us to know because you liked it so much.” He huffed a chuckle. “You were so cute blushing before. I didn’t tell Dianxia because I wanted to keep that memory to myself.”
“How did you know? And you remembered?”
“Of course I fucking remembered! It’s your favorite!” Feng Xin spat out, his cheeks flushing a deep red, matching the vibrant hue of the berries in his grasp.
“But…” Mu Qing felt his lungs burning, his breath quickening with each thump of his racing heart. Why on earth did Feng Xin know that about him? It seemed like such useless information, yet Feng Xin held it dear for so long until now. “But why?”
“What do you mean why? It’s because I got your name when we were pick—”
“You could’ve just given me anything else, but why this?” Mu Qing raised his voice, feeling more on edge. “Feng Xin, it doesn't make any sense.”
“What the fuck are you on these days? You’re mad that I’m trying to get to know you because it’s too late for that and now, you’re annoyed because I know something from before that you didn’t expect me to figure out?”
“Uhm, I think you both need to calm down for a second,” Xie Lian said, trying to console his two best friends on the brink of beating each other again in his newly refurbished abode. Although his pleas were dulled out by Mu Qing’s yell.
“The point is Feng Xin why the hell are you acting like this, huh?! What happened? What changed? Why are you trying to be so close to me?” Mu Qing stood up, screaming at Feng Xin who looked just as confused as him.
“Oh my fucking god, Mu Qing!” Feng Xin stood up as well, hand clutching on the basket as if he’s trying not to pour the berries over Mu Qing. He could tell by the way he sighed like he’s controlling his anger. “What do you want me to say huh? I already told you that I wanted to be your friend and that I was fucking wrong for everything I did and said to you. Why won’t you give me a fucking chance, huh?”
“Fuck you, Feng Xin.”
“Oof,” both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng let out quite unexpectedly. That came out so suddenly, not even Mu Qing saw it coming but his emotions are finally expressing themselves.
“Fuck you for confusing me! What are you up to? Just tell me. You’ve never lacked at expressing what you felt about me, calling me a traitor and a bitch and everything. What is this all about now, huh? Being friends? Friends don’t do shit like this! Friends would give you tea sets, hongbao or baijiu because it’s common and convenient! Why would you go through so much effort to get me raspberries?”
“Bold of him to drop suggestions when he’s never had friends—” Xie Lian shut a hand over Hua Cheng’s mouth. Luckily his voice was so small that Mu Qing wasn’t able to hear it.
“This is not about the raspberries, right?” Feng Xin demanded, his gaze piercing into Mu Qing. “You think I’m fucking with you? For what? Personal satisfaction? What the fuck is going on inside your head? I genuinely want to know! Can’t I just give you something that I know you’d really like so you can be happy about it? Can’t I see you smile, huh? Does everything have to be about whatever the fuck we had before?”
“How else would I assume it?! You’ve been the bane of my existence for so long. How am I supposed to believe your intentions—”
“Because I fucking like you, Mu Qing!” Feng Xin shouted, his heart pouring out. He opened his mouth, hesitating, then clenched his jaw as he continued, “I’ve felt this way for so long. I never acted on it because I thought you hated me—until that day on Mt. Tonglu.” He exhaled sharply and pulled a poorly wrapped gift from his robes. “I wasn’t going to give this to you yet. I wanted to ask you out first. But now I see that I will never get that chance.” He set the present on the table, the cloth wrapping slipping away as he left.
It was a headpiece, resembling his own but adorned with rare rubies, and featuring an arrow pin akin to Feng Xin’s spiritual weapon. Mu Qing stared at the shimmering gems, finding… familiarity.
The southeast was known for its rubies, but they were incredibly difficult to find. Only the most daring merchants and the mightiest gods could retrieve such precious stones.
Of course, Feng Xin ruled the southeast and was one of the strongest, most powerful gods. It was convenient for him to acquire rubies and craft an accessory for Mu Qing, but why? Why would he do such a thing?
“Because I fucking like you, Mu Qing!” The words echoed in Mu Qing’s mind, drowning out everything else. He stood frozen, staring at his reflection in the gemstone.
Feng Xin likes him.
Feng Xin likes him, too.
“Feng Xin…” The name lingered on Mu Qing’s tongue, his voice so small it couldn’t reach the retreating god.
“What are you waiting for?” Hua Cheng’s voice suddenly cut in from the side. It was only when Mu Qing felt the warmth of Xie Lian’s hand that he realized just how embarrassing it was to have argued and expressed their feelings in front of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng.
“What the f—”
“I suggest you hurry before he ascends back to heaven,” the ghost king urged, his gaze on a lone wraith butterfly. Its iridescence flickered, briefly illuminating Feng Xin’s silhouette before it fluttered alongside him, showing a clear image of his side profile.
He looked so handsome.
But Feng Xin looked so sad—an expression Mu Qing rarely saw on him. It didn’t suit Feng Xin.
“Damn it!” Mu Qing shouted as he rushed out of the temple.
“Wait, Mu Qing—”
“Gege, leave them be. They’ll sort it out on their own. You don’t have to do anything,” Hua Cheng called after him, but Mu Qing was already sprinting after the most infuriating man in his life, desperate to make things right because maybe, just maybe, this might be the only time they can ever meet middle ground.
“Hey!” he yelled, spotting a golden shimmer ahead. There was Feng Xin. “Damn it, Feng Xin! Let’s talk!”
“We’ve talked enough, General Xuan Zhen,” Feng Xin snapped back, still refusing to turn around. “You’ve said enough. I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
“Stupid Ju Yang, can’t you just listen to me?” Mu Qing called, hoping the nickname would irritate him enough to turn and show that familiar scowl he both hated and loved.
Feng Xin didn’t falter his steps.
“Feng Xin, you asshole! Are you going to hear me out or what?”
“Or what?” Feng Xin mocked, quickening his pace and making it harder for Mu Qing to catch up.
“You’re so annoying!” Mu Qing groaned, finally halting in frustration.
“Good, leave me alone—” Feng Xin barely managed to say another word as a massive nine-foot sabre whizzed past him, narrowly missing his side before slamming into the tree ahead.
Mu Qing stood his ground, breathing heavily as the echo of Zhanmadao’s impact faded into the forest. The blade had struck with such force that it split the tree cleanly in half, sending splinters flying and blocking Feng Xin’s path.
Feng Xin halted, eyes wide with shock and fury as he finally turned back to Mu Qing. “What the hell was that all about, huh?! Have you gone fucking mad?!” he roared, his voice cutting through the tension in the air.
Mu Qing clenched his fists, heart racing. “I told you to listen!” he shot back, his voice strained but firm. “You can't just throw those words at me and expect me not to react!”
Feng Xin scoffed. “I have received plenty of your obnoxious expressions over the centuries. I don’t need more of your questionable emotions, Mu Qing.”
“You’re the one who keeps telling me to open up! Now you’re saying I shouldn’t?!”
“I literally have no time for this. Rant all you fucking want in the communication array. I don’t give a fuck. Just leave me alone, please—”
“I didn’t even give you your gift yet!”
Feng Xin sighed, irritation flashing in his eyes. “Keep it. I don’t need anything from you.”
“Did you even mean everything you said earlier?” Mu Qing pressed, his voice rising. “Or was it all just empty words?!”
“Of course!” Feng Xin snapped. “How could you fucking say that? You think I’m joking around? What exactly do you think of me, Mu Qing?”
“I think you’re a big idiot!” Mu Qing burst out, his voice edged with frustration. “I think you’re dumb and very aggravating. Sometimes I even consider stabbing my own ears just so I’d never hear you talk! Because you’re just that annoying! You speak whatever you think and act completely differently! It’s confusing! You’re confusing!”
“Shut the fuck up—”
“No, you shut up! I’m not done! You told me you want to know me, huh? Then hear me out!” Mu Qing shouted, the intensity of his emotions spilling over. “I’ve spent most of my life with you and I’ve always deemed it a curse because you are one big pain in the ass that I can never get rid off! No matter what!”
“I’m not sure I want to hear all of these—”
“Don’t dismiss me!” Mu Qing’s anger flared. “I spent centuries keeping this to myself. So you hear me out because I’m not sure I’ll ever say it again!” He took a step closer, determination burning in those obsidian eyes. “I never liked you around.”
Feng Xin’s expression shifted from annoyance to dejection, his gaze dropping to the grassy plains below.
“But…” Mu Qing stepped forward, his hand reaching for Feng Xin’s face. He gently caressed the soft cheek that he often struck during their playful fights on the Avenue of Divine Might. “I hate it even more to see you stay away from me.”
”What are you saying?”
“I mean…” Mu Qing let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of his words. “I’m saying that I like you.”
There! He had finally said it. After nearly a millennium of senseless rivalry, Mu Qing had finally said what he had been aching to express all along.
“What?” Feng Xin scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re fucking with me. You don’t mean it.”
“You think I’m a liar?”
“You are a liar! You’ve hidden a lot of things from everyone, especially me. How am I supposed to trust you? Maybe you’re just saying these to get back at me. Well, I don’t need it! I’d rather you just reject—”
“Oh my god! Shut up!”
Feng Xin opened his mouth, ready to retort, but Mu Qing couldn’t let him spout anymore nonsense. He’s had 800 years and more of hearing Feng Xin’s mouth run the dumbest things! In a split-second decision fueled by frustration and yearning, he closed the distance between them and captured Feng Xin’s lips with his own.
The kiss was electric, sending shivers coursing through Mu Qing’s body. He had never done this before. Heck, he had never been this intimate with anyone. He didn’t know what he was doing, but one thing was for sure: he wanted to express himself.
He liked Feng Xin—no, that was an understatement
Mu Qing loved Feng Xin.
They remained there, like statues frozen in place, unable to move for fear that one wrong shift might compromise the fragile bond they had forged in this strange middle ground.
It’s Mu Qing that did the first move so it’s Mu Qing that pulled away, biting his lip and evading eye contact with Feng Xin who looked like a lost puppy.
“Mu Qing…”
“There, d-do you believe me now?” Mu Qing cursed under his breath at his stutters.
“Mu Qing, I—”
“I don’t know how it happened, okay? Don’t assume I’m confused because you told me you liked me. I like you too, maybe before you did or whatever! I-I don’t know—”
Feng Xin silenced him by pulling his nape and smashing their lips together once more. This time, it was more fiery. Feng Xin poured everything into that moment, and so did Mu Qing—his longing, his anger, and his love. It was a kiss meant to silence all doubts between them and to prove just how badly they wanted each other..
Mu Qing didn’t know what hit him other than the blessing of the God of Love maybe but he wrapped his arms around Feng Xin’s neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, allowing Feng Xin further in his body and soul.
When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathless. Feng Xin searched Mu Qing’s eyes, disbelief mingling with something softer. “So… you really meant it?”
“I do,” Mu Qing nodded, his heart pounding like there’s no tomorrow. “But… don’t you?”
“I meant every fucking word, Mu Qing. I want to be your closest friend. I want to be by your side all the time. And then, I want to ask you out—to be mine.”
Mu Qing's breath hitched. He was at a loss for words, simply staring into Feng Xin's sincere eyes.
“Will you give me a chance?” Feng Xin asked.
Mu Qing's expression softened as he took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I told you I haven’t given you my gift, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t prepare anything special. I never bought anything from the mortal realm. I have nothing to give you.” He paused, inhaling deeply. “But I do have myself. So if you want me, the real me, I’m offering myself to you… as long as you promise to take good care of me from now on and forever.”
“I want you, flaws and all,” Feng Xin declared. “This won’t be easy. I know. But I’m willing to work hard for you. For us. Because I want nothing more but you.”
Mu Qing felt as though he were dreaming, and he didn’t want to wake up from this blissful moment. But it was real—Feng Xin wanted him just as much as he wanted Feng Xin. They loved each other.
“You promise not to be a pain in the ass?” Mu Qing teased, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
“I can’t guarantee that,” Feng Xin replied with a smirk, “but I promise not to hurt you like I did before. I don’t want you sacrificing yourself again just after you’ve shown us how broken you were.”
“You’re so dramatic.” Mu Qing rolled his eyes.
“Says the one who tried jumping into a fucking volcano.”
“Shut up!”
They laughed together as they leaned their heads against eachother. For a long moment, silence enveloped them. Then, with a hesitant smile, Feng Xin leaned in, brushing his lips against Mu Qing’s in a gentle kiss, a promise of something new blossoming between them.
“I think this is the best gift ever,” Feng Xin murmured. “Thank you.”
“Of course. After all, it’s me.”
Feng Xin scoffed, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Don’t be so full of yourself.” He leaned in, attempting to capture Mu Qing’s lips once more.
Mu Qing closed his eyes, anticipation bubbling within him. He’s only kissed Feng Xin twice but he’s addicted. But moments passed, and nothing happened.
He opened his eyes, expecting Feng Xin to change his mind about his feelings for Mu Qing. Instead, Feng Xin summoned his bow and arrow, aiming it at a nearby bush. With a swift motion, he shot an arrow that swooshed between them, striking a cluster of wraith butterflies that dispersed into nothing.
“That Crimson Dic—” Mu Qing started to curse, but Feng Xin gently pulled his chin to face him, interrupting his frustration. “And Hua Cheng said they should leave us alone. What a bunch of liars.”
“Mu Qing, shut up,” Feng Xin said, a mix of amusement and exasperation in his voice.
“Fine, now where were we?” Mu Qing asked, his own smile creeping back as he tried to reignite the moment.
Feng Xin’s expression softened, his gaze lingering on Mu Qing’s lips. “Right here.”
Then, with a shared understanding and the undeniable blaze of passion between them, they kissed. Their surroundings faded into nothingness like it always did when they’re around each other’s vicinity, the chaos of the world dissolving as they surrendered to each other’s embrace.
It was more than just a kiss; it was a gift, a chance—a promise and a declaration to move beyond the confusion that had long defined their relationship. In that moment, they chose to leave their complicated past as rivals behind and start on this new exciting but scary journey together as what people call... lovers .