Work Text:
The Place Where the Bones Lie
To whom it may concern:
Attached is the incident report regarding the latest actions of the crew of the Going Merry. In summary, we are quite certain that this heartless group of pirates is responsible for the discovery of twenty-four ships in various levels of disrepair, with their crew in various state of mental dissolution. While the survivors are unable to describe exactly what happened, there can be no doubt that the pirate Monkey D. Luffy and his people were at the absolute heart of the matter.
Given the number of ships and people that have required rescue efforts over the last three days, we are requesting an increase in both funds and personnel for the next two months. The accountant’s report has been attached to the back of this document, as per instructions.
We eagerly await further orders and a confirmation of receipt of this report with what first-hand accounts of the Strawhat Pirates’ execrable exploits we have been able to gather.
Sincerely,
Captain Mallory Snorkel
***
(A note tacked to the main mast of the Going Merry)
To Usopp, Sanji, and Zoro:
Please take one of the documents below and describe what you experienced on the island of Serce. I will use them to compile our report to my sister, so that others will be aware of what they’re getting into. This will be distributed far and wide as a warning, and also might get made into a book apparently (see also: the children’s book “When Is A Pirate Not a Pirate”, which is apparently making a killing; Nojiko owes me big time when we get back).
Thanks,
Nami
***
(Stuck to the mast with a knife from the kitchen)
Nami—
This is incredibly stupid and I’m not doing it.
Zoro
***
(Stuck to the mast using the same kitchen knife)
Zoro—
If you want the treasure apportioned appropriately, you’ll write up what happened during the mission so that we can keep a proper record.
Nami
***
(Stuck to the mast using the same kitchen knife, now bent at a forty degree angle)
Nami—
I’m the one who usually does all the math for the allocations.
Zoro
***
(Stuck to the mast with one of the recovered pieces of Zoro’s swords following the battle with Mihawk)
Zoro—
I understand if writing is too difficult for you. I’ll write up your part of the incident, and tell Luffy that you’ve volunteered your part of the proceeds to the ship’s meat fund. He’ll be ecstatic.
Also the next time you touch one of my kitchen utensils, I’m stabbing it into you.
Sanji
***
(Carefully taped above the earlier missives without moving the knife or sword fragment)
Waiter—
Tell Luffy anything of the sort and I’ll make soup out of your bones.
Also not my fault that your kitchen knives are cheap shit that can’t handle proper use.
Zoro
***
(Stapled to the previous missive)
My Dearest Moss Head—
I refuse to believe that you’re capable of making any kind of soup without a recipe. Even then I doubt that you’re reading the recipe; it really is incredible how far a man can go with only mathematics and hard headed stubbornness to guide him.
Also my kitchen knives are perfect for their intended purpose. I’d ask if you’d use the same blade to cut your hair as you do to cut your enemies, but I unfortunately know the answer. Sometimes uncultured heathens can’t be saved; they can just be kept from causing more problems.
Sanji
***
(Scrawled at the bottom of the previous missive)
Waiter—
I’m finishing my report for Nami, and then you, me, on the deck. Usopp’s taking bets from the others but we both know who’s going to win.
Zoro
***
(The first report returned, slipped under Nami’s door while she slept)
Describe how you first realized something was wrong:
Well, Usopp always knows when there’s something about a place that doesn’t make sense. Usopp has always been a great pirate hunter, you know! At least until he decided to become a great pirate himself. Even as a child, long before the adventure with Kuro that would come to define Usopp the Great’s entry into piracy, Usopp knew how the world worked.
Usopp knows how rainbows work, and that they aren’t actually supposed to touch the ground. I’m sure if you ask Usopp is sure that someone like Kaya could tell you all the math behind it.
(Inserted in green ink at a later date: It’s really not that complicated. If you ever want a lesson on the mathematics of imagery and light , just tell me. )
( Inserted at an even later date in sparkly dark blue ink: Or you could both do something useful with your time.)
Usopp the Great Pirate , though, he doesn’t care about the math. What he cares about is the feeling ; the sense of a place; and the knowledge that comes with experience. And the moment Usopp saw that island, he knew that the rainbow touching down there? It didn’t mean there was treasure. It meant that there was something dangerous. Something that would reach into our hearts, and pull on all the worst wounds of our past.
***
(The second report, carefully filed in the navigator’s berth)
Describe how you first realized something was wrong:
As the navigator, it’s my job to make sure that the Going Merry gets where she’s going. Preferably merrily, which isn’t always an easy task when you’re approaching the Grand Line and have a crew like the one that I have.
There wasn’t supposed to be an island there. That was our first hint that something was wrong.
The second was that the harbor was flying two signal flags, and they didn’t make any sense. The first was half yellow and half blue; “K” if it were on a boat. The second was a yellow and black check; “L” if it were on a boat. (I don’t know how must you know about flags and boats, Nojiko; apologies if I’m explaining things you already know.
I just had to learn all this stuff with Arlong, and I know you hated the sea for a long time, because nothing good ever came from it
Anyway, yeah, apologies if you know all this.
)
If those two flags were on another ship, it would usually mean “we can’t tow anything right now”, or if they had another boat attached, “we’re taking a break from towing; steer clear”. But from a harbor? K by itself can sometimes be used to mean kilo , but what the heck did that mean? Was it the name of the island?
We probably should have gone right past. I think we would have, but Luffy had gotten into the kitchen again and made himself a midnight snack that consisted of some meat stores Sanji had big plans for.
I also think we were all a little nervous. It’s a big thing, chasing a dream. And with whatever the reverse waterfall was looming just before us, well, we were eager for a little bit of a break in the tension.
Anyway, Luffy suggested that we stop, and everyone agreed. Sanji took some of our remaining money to try to replace stores. Luffy immediately ran off to see where the nearest tavern was, and Zoro trailed behind him; whether he’d stay with him or get hopelessly lost immediately, I wasn’t sure.
That left Usopp and I to see to any other practical needs. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to get a few more yards of sail, in case we needed to patch anything; Usopp wanted a few more chemicals to play with for his exploding shells. So the two of us headed for the general store.
***
(Written in green ink and turned in after three duels with Sanji that resulted in no clear winner)
Describe how you first realized something was wrong:
I knew something was wrong right away, because the people didn’t act like people.
I’ve been all over the place the last few years. Before that, I didn’t really get to travel at all; part of being trained by monks to be a great swordsman is that they don’t really do things like field trips very often. I think it’s actually been a good combination, though; not having much variation, and then seeing what the variation between normal towns is.
It means that as soon as we started walking through town, I knew something was off. The people looked all right. They displaced dust, like people are supposed to do when walking. They seemed to have destinations—everyone was walking from one building to another.
But they didn’t do these things like people do. When people are walking, they’re sometimes fast, sometimes slow. They tend to notice other people, or to very determinedly not notice other people. But these guys? They all acted the same. Moved with purpose from one destination to another. Didn’t stop to talk. Didn’t duck or shy away when they saw someone they didn’t like.
No one was drunk.
No one was sniffling.
And there weren’t any children.
All ports have children. They’re a thing that goes with sailors.
But not this one.
I hurried to catch up with the captain. “Luffy, I think there’s something wrong here.”
Luffy turned to look at me, that cocky grin on his face. “Yeah? I was starting to think the same thing. Want to find out what it is?”
And even if any sane person would have said we should go back to the ship… well. I faced the Warlord Mihawk just because I could.
I wasn’t going to turn back from an interesting fight now.
***
(Turned in with green stains on the top sheet and a written ‘Sorry!’ next to the stains)
Describe how you first knew that something was wrong:
The meat was all wrong.
The other food was worse.
I think that most people, even if they don’t eat meat, have a sense for what it should be.
Maybe it’s something visceral in us, since we’re made of meat?
(Inserted at a later date in green ink: Is this how you usually flirt? No wonder Nojiko thought you were weird.) But plants are even harder to manage, because a plant doesn’t have much in common with a person.
Whatever was making these plants didn’t know what it was doing.
Did that mean that it had once been something like a person?
I tried to be polite to the shopkeep anyway. I thanked them for their time. I hoped they did a very good job with business going forward.
And then I ran to try to catch the rest of my crew. I didn’t know what eating the not-food in this port would do to them, and I didn’t want to find out.
I hadn’t gone more than ten steps when he appeared in front of me.
Zeff.
But not Zeff like I had left him behind. Not hale and healthy, as healed as any man could be from what we’d been through.
This was Zeff like he had been when we were rescued. Skin sloughing from a combination of sun and salt burn and fever. One leg weak and wobbly; the other a gangrenous mess above the amateur amputation that the surgeon kept tutting over.
“You left me, Sanji,” he whispered.
He didn’t shout. It would have been easier to dismiss him if he shouted. When Zeff’s shouting, we’re fine; we’re talking over and around each other, maybe, but we’re fine.
When Zeff’s quiet? When there’s that lost, lonely note to his voice? That’s when he’s hurting. That’s when he’s lost in the bad old days.
I had just seen him a few weeks ago. He’d given me his blessing.
I still felt like someone had kicked me right in the heart as he stared at me, accusing, awaiting an answer I couldn’t give.
I didn’t even try to run away as he reached out and put a hand on my shoulder.
I didn’t feel my body hit the ground, but I’ve got the bruises on my right side to say that it wasn’t a gentle fall.
***
(A note slipped under Nami’s door, in red ink)
Don’t I get to write a report, too? Usopp makes it sound like fun!
***
(A note left in the captain’s cabin alongside six pens in various colors)
Luffy, feel free to write this in whatever order you want. Feel free to illustrate it! Whatever you want to do to get the story out on paper. I’ll appreciate whatever you manage, and I’m sure Nojiko will love it. -Nami
***
(Written in red ink and heavily illustrated)
Nami’s so great! She’s doing this for all of us, so that we’ve got a record of what happened, because it was scary and it hurt everyone at least a little bit. And she’s doing this for her sister, because she knows her sister is missing her already. I’ve never had a sister, but I think I understand what she means, and I wish I’d thought to do something nice like this for my brothers. Maybe they’ll see my wanted poster and know that I’m doing great!
Nami’s also doing this because she wants more money, which, hey, money is how we get good things to eat, so I’m not going to complain about it! Besides, I like the last book Nojiko wrote. It’s got a great picture of me as a pirate, even before I got my first wanted poster!
But I’m supposed to be talking about the island now, not about Nami and Nojiko and the crew.
Except I have to talk about them, to talk about the island.
It was an island that ate people.
I know that sounds dramatic, but sometimes what’s dramatic is true! And sea monsters eat people; jungle monsters eat people; why shouldn’t there be island monsters that eat people, too?
It ate people in a funny way, though. It ate them from the inside out; from the soul to the body.
I thought there was something a little funny when we first pulled into dock and none of the other ships had people on them, but it also could’ve been that there was a really great tavern in town, or that everyone was just a fisherman (though I don’t know what fish you’d hunt with cannons; maybe they have monsters like the one that ate Shanks here!).
That wasn’t the case, though.
Instead it was an island that ate people.
It tried to eat me using Shanks.
I miss him. He wasn’t my father, but he was my friend, and I looked up to him more than anyone else in the world.
I hope he’s proud of me now.
I think he’d be proud of the way I punched the fake-Shanks in the face.
I couldn’t have done it if not for Zoro. He grabbed my arm when he was falling down. He wasn’t seeing Shanks; he was seeing someone else. Kuina, I think, though he didn’t actually say it. I wish he had; I’d like to learn more about her.
But Kuina tried to take Zoro, and Shanks tried to take me, and I couldn’t let either happen.
So I gathered Zoro up, and I punched the ground so hard that we rocketed up into the sky.
The coming back down was harder, but my Gum Gum fruit protected me, and I protected Zoro, and that meant we could go protect everyone else.
***
(Written in green ink)
Describe the monster that inhabited the island:
You don’t give us easy tasks, do you, Nami?
Right.
Was it a monster? Certainly it was something dangerous. Can islands be possessed? Given that it vanished when Luffy vanquished it, was it even an island? Was it a person, once? Or can whole islands be possessed by a Devil Fruit?
Not what you want to know, though.
I was with the Captain, and I told him something was wrong. I don’t think the island liked that. As soon as I started talking honestly to Luffy, I felt this terrible cold seep into my chest.
It spread, a spiderweb that I could follow in rings as it oozed from my heart out to my arms and down to my legs and over my head.
As soon as it had covered my whole body, I saw her.
Kuina.
Not as I’d known her. Not a vibrant, eager, frustrated girl.
This was someone that the sea had claimed, and the sea wasn’t happy that we’d tried to take her back. Her neck was clearly broken, her head sitting crooked on the battered, swollen flesh. The right side of her skull was caved in. All of her skin was swollen with sea-bloat.
And I… I still tried to go to her.
She held out a hand to me, and I almost went to her. Because it was Kuina. Because of whatever the island was doing to me.
It was only when Luffy grabbed me and launched us both into the air that I realized exactly how wrong the whole situation was. As soon as Luffy’s arm closed around me, I felt that spiderweb of cold breaking, and I could see clearly what was in front of me.
It definitely wasn’t Kuina.
It wasn’t anything human. It was something monstrous; something that looked a bit like a cockroach, but if cockroaches could become eight feet tall and were made out of dirt and vegetation instead of cockroach.
When we came down, I had Wado Ichimonji out of its sheath, and I struck with the intent to carve the creature in half.
I succeeded.
Unfortunately that didn’t stop the fifteen others that appeared behind that first one.
But the weirdest thing? The most incomprehensible part?
Everyone else.
All the other occupants of the island just stood there, silently, watching. No longer pretending to do tasks that they clearly weren’t interested in. But the way they watched… people are supposed to care about a fight. Even when they try not to, they’re usually cheering for one side or another.
These people didn’t care. They didn’t have anything to invest in the battle.
They didn’t have anything left inside them.
And I wasn’t going to let my crew end up like them.
Roaring, I charged into the throng of giant cockroach-monsters, cutting them down as quickly as I could, hoping that I would be victorious… hoping that this victory was something that could be bought with a sword.
Turns out that giant psychic cockroach monsters can indeed be cut with swords. Or at least with Wado Ichimonji, which is the absolute best sword in the entire world.
Luffy wasn’t interested in the monsters. I think maybe he couldn’t actually see the monsters? While I fought, he looked around for the others… and he found them.
Sanji was crying in front of an empty shopfront. Green tendrils of some root vegetable were growing over him.
Usopp and Nami were a little farther away, but once he’d freed Sanji, Luffy didn’t waste any time getting to them. He had to punch Nami out of a fruit tree that was trying to engulf her, and to dig Usopp out of the dirt, but he got them, while Sanji and I held off the cockroach-monsters.
Which is when the general store rose up on long timber legs and tried to eat us.
***
(Smeared with blood following yet another sparring match between Zoro and Sanji)
Describe the monster that inhabited the island:
Luffy grabbed me, and everything started making a little more sense.
Not a ton of sense, because Luffy and Zoro aren’t always the easiest people to understand even when they’re not babbling about giant cockroach monsters, but still. More sense than being haunted by people who aren’t dead.
I didn’t see giant cockroaches. I saw maggots, and they were absolutely awful.
But I’ve had to touch worse, and at least most of my fighting involves my feet.
Zoro and I made it our mission to keep Luffy safe, and Luffy, of course, went after the rest of the crew.
After Nami and Usopp.
Usopp had been buried in the ground. Or… that’s not quite right.
Usopp was burying himself in the ground. He was digging a hole, and he didn’t want to come out, even when we called him.
Nami was becoming part of a tree. It was a beautiful coconut tree, but it had no right to be curling around her flesh like it was.
Luffy managed to get them both free. Without hurting them. I don’t know how. I’m starting to think I don’t understand anything about the man or his powers.
Which is a stupid thing to think about someone who’s… well… Luffy. He’s wonderful. I wouldn’t have anyone else as a captain. But he’s not exactly hard to read.
Except when he is.
Once we had Nami and Usopp, Luffy told us to head for the ship. We’d already decided that on our own, for the most part. But the island had other ideas.
Ideas like crushing us with a living house.
***
Describe the monster that inhabited the island:
The Great Pirate Usopp has faced so many horrors in his life, but that building standing up and howling at us, spewing what seemed to be pieces of people as it did? That was really high up there.
Usopp didn’t panic, though. He certainly didn’t freeze while his companions Luffy, Nami, Sanji, and Zoro attacked the monster.
He was thinking.
He was planning .
He was considering what he had in his pouch, and the types of chemical reactions that he could manage.
Because wood? Wood burns.
Wood burns really well when there’s exploding phosphorus next to it.
Once the store was burning, we—I mean, Usopp and his crew ran for the Going Merry . Scrambled aboard.
Watched as the island rippled, contracting and expanding, a creature twisting in agony.
Luffy watched the island, standing at the prow of the Going Merry , his expression that beautiful, difficult to read one that tends to come over him when he’s thinking hard.
Then he pulled back his fist, and he punched.
He punched the whole island out of existence.
He freed everyone from the monster, driving the island deep beneath the surface of the water.
The island didn’t come back up.
But the people who had been on the island?
The people who were supposed to be on those other ships?
They floated to the surface, and it took us an awful long time to scoop them all up and get them back onto their proper vessels. Especially because a lot of them didn’t seem to have any idea where they were or what they were doing or even who they were.
The Great Pirate Usopp felt a little bad, leaving some of them on ships that may or may not have been theirs, but we couldn’t very well take them to the Grand Line with us.
And we’re still going to the Grand Line. I think this little adventure proves that there’s something special about our crew.
Something special about the way we work together.
Luffy is going to be King of the Pirates someday.
And the Great Pirate Usopp will be happy to follow him, and see exactly what treasures we’ll be able to unlock together.
***
Nojiko,
I hope this bundle finds you well. I miss you. We’re well on our way to the Grand Line now; I can hear the reverse waterfall up ahead. Last stop, and last chance to send something home.
I think
Usopp and I are the only ones who did.
I’ll try to send you more from when we’re on the Grand Line, and you can always watch the papers for us. We’ll be out there doing what the Marines can’t and won’t, and one day you’ll see Luffy as the king of the pirates, and me as the best navigator there ever was.
Take care of yourself, sis. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Love,
Nami