Work Text:
Dear Nicky dear <3
I love you.
xxx
💛
Dear Little Fox,
I love you too, but please write me a longer letter next time. I want to know all about your day. What did you dream about, what did you have for breakfast, what faces did the children make, how are you feeling, did you write anything, did you film a funny video, how is Bear, what did you have for lunch, what do the clouds look like, is there a fairy hunt on, did you hug the bunnies, what are the Natasha's gossiping about, did you see your Grandfather, what thoughts filled your floomfy little head? Are you wearing shoes? I am sure you are not.
As for me, I am listening to your father in his pretty cape speaking about reconstruction and unity and anti-fish people barriers, but I am thinking of you. I have always wanted to attend a lecture in a university setting, I always wanted to wander down the corridors, lost in a crowd of my fellow students. I always wanted to have the chance to spend an exorbitant amount of money on absurdly thick books, but now that I am here in the theoretical wing of the Factory, it is not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. It is empty, and pointless. The grey walls, the bad art, depresses me. Maybe it is because I am married man and my mind is so full of family, that mathematics and philosophy are no longer as enticing as they once were. I have always wanted to sit with my peers on long uncomfortable benches, pretending to be disciples of Socrates in Athens, wearing airy tunics and bathing my tanned flesh in the sun of Greece, with excursions of monster slaying and goddess charming, but the thought of spending all day discussing what ifs and might bes now pales in comparison to the thought of cuddling my lapushka and her babies. This must be why most of the philosopher's were celibate. Must be why they fancied stones so much. I do not even mind some of my brain becoming this way and going mushy. What is the point of war if one has no one to share it with?
Your father sends his love.
I love you, my dearest one.
(We are very busy thinking up ways to save the universe in future times of strife. I am not lying.)
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Dear Nicky, cuddly-poo. <3 <3
I read a chapter about Home Schooling, and then the children and I made handprints with paint. They want to know where their Papa is - I said he is helping his friends build a wall.
I'd like to see you in an airy tunic. Did I tell you that I think you're very handsome? You become more handsome by the day. Sometimes I look at new merch with you on it, and I have to sit down when I remember that you're my husband. It is funny how our impressions of people change over time, you used to seem so far away, but you're not really so different to me. I just want you to return home so we can cuddle-wuddle.
Also, that photo definitely showed men hard at work.
xxxx
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Malishka, my life,
You say such funny things. Sometimes I tell the others what you say, sometimes I show them your picture or videos, and they become envious that only I possess a wife with a personality. They would prefer I possessed neither wife nor personality. Well, the tortoise wins the race. It took me thirty years and numerous party invitations, but I leapt to the top of the spouse totem pole when I put my mind to it. Hah! About your remark, I suppose we might be said to be building a wall, in-between training. It helps in construction, to be able to fly and change size. But surely you did more things than read and paint? Tell me everything , it will not bore me, do not fear. I love you very much, with a burning passion, everything you say is like honey, or wine, intoxicating and sweet…I think you know I liked you before…wait…did I ever say I liked you, or did you assume from my behaviour? I suppose there could be no other motivation for a man to request entrance into a woman's room after midnight. A friend would have gone through the door, but I went through the window, teehee. I know you said you liked me later (and he was me , a polished me, an AU me, if you will), one minute after I walked through the door of your Westminster flat, but of course I could not return the sentiment verbally, although he did go off the rails in quite alarming ways (and that is why I resurrected him, by the way, not because I was jealous, no, I can't be jealous. He simply had very flexible programming). Still, I have adored you for a long, long time. Longer than you know.
Thank you, my delight, for finding me handsome. I never thought there would come a day when I could say I believed such a thing. I am not handsome, it's only your big soft heart of gold that tricks you into seeing what is not there. You see your own beauty reflected back to you, but you do see it. At most I am sexy, but once one has felt the warmth of love, mere sexiness is no longer satisfying. What does it matter to me if the entire world finds me attractive, if the one person I want does not? But you do, so I possess all things.
Mama and Papa would love you so much. I don't say that enough, but it is the highest compliment and endorsement that I can bestow. I can't wait to return and kissy-wissy with you.
Mwah, love you, my dear one.
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Dear Nicky, sugarplum <3 <3 <3
I had a dream, you and I were teenagers at school. You were popular and I was not, but we became friends against all odds, and then more than that. It was very romantic and you were very cute and sweet. And Gothic Rock <3 <3 we went to a concert together and you bought me a t-shirt.
I did my nails, I stuck tiny pink hearts to the middles.
I played with the bunnies and put on another chickey play for the children. We did Macbeth and a cricket played the bad king. Macbeth is so funny, he sorta reminds me of Kev, minus the hatred of birds.
I baked your favourite cake, because I miss you. Then I ate it. I'll make another for when you return.
I did my hair. It takes so much time, but I made a vlog out of it. I had to do a sponsorship but I didn't have the words so I just sighed and smiled. I thought the company would be upset, but they said that was everything they wanted.
Jamie rang, he complained about the air in the tournament hall he's playing in. Apparently the planet is really, really hot. It's funny how often chess people complain about the air, and the light, and the humidity, and the sound, and the free coffee. I think they're very high strung, although I never saw Jamie as high strung, but I guess he is. Almost as high strung as some wrestlers I know, haha.
About if you said you liked me. You didn't, but you didn't need to. It was pretty obvious, especially as Lord Flash, and he did sort of leap straight past that and propose marriage in the middle of the street, which I think says a lot. It used to scare me, these feelings and the things that would follow on from there, that's why I didn't say anything when you were being you. And also, I was worried about Father.
I wish I could meet your parents, especially your mum.
I love you, I can't wait for you to return and help me make more babies.
xxxxx
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Janey Volkova, my little sun, my little paw, my little fishy,
How I adore hearing you speak about making babies with me. I am not a very expressive man, outside the ring, at least not very expressive when it comes to positive emotions, but I did hiss appreciatively when I read that, so much so that Robin asked me what I was hissing about. I told him and then he began hissing and spluttering his tea around, so you have pleased your father. Tell your grandfather Knight about making babies and he'll gift you another golden unicorn foal. Oh, I can't wait to come home and hug the little plushy children. They are so cute, and mine, all mine. It is amazing to me that you can produce such creatures, and in the dark too. I have tried for years, and I have never been able to conceive offspring within myself, and you know that I can do anything when necessity calls for it.
I hope you filmed that play. I love chicken theatre. And yes, Kevin is very Shakespearen in many ways. When I first met him as a grown man, I didn't know what he was saying, but I was sure it was melodramatic nonsense. As I have come to know him, my initial understanding proved correct.
I love your hair, I want to bury my face in it at all times. I love your cakes, and thinking about them is distracting me from my job of thinking about cosmic horrors.
That dream sounds delightful. I've been having dreams like that for years, although usually you are the popular one. Or in desperate need of my help. My rescuing of you goes better in fantasy than in reality, I promise.
Your twin is an elite athlete, CEO, and professional children’s game player, of course he is high strung - he is certain of doing something worthwhile with his life. As a professional athlete and elite man’s game player, I know. I hear he speaks to Kevin daily, too, and that would account for much.
I believe that secretly your father always knew that if he produced a girl child, he would eventually walk her down the aisle and hand her over into my keeping. Likewise any viable boy. Our relationship has always been that way, he is the Master, I am the Student. Except when it's the other way around. He took me on to remedy his deficiencies, filling me with everything he knew and everything he was, his son in all but name, and here I am, officially his son in law. It is a profound relationship. My last name means wolf, my first name means victory (of the wolf people)…People ought to pay more attention to words.
My Mama would deem you perfect, everything she could want for her sweet little boy. You would bake and sew together, and admire your husbands together, and everything would be magical.
I must go now and check anti-fish code for bugs. Be sure to tell Knight about your making babies and remind him of your fruitfulness if he hasn't gone on a tour or hunting trip already. Tell me what he says in your next letter.
Love you, sweetheart.
(After I told your father about your baby-making comment.)
💛
He gave me foals!!!
Oh, Dear Mr Warsman <3 <3 <3 <3
I did as you said, and told Grandfather about making more babies, and he gave me three foals!!! A girl horsey, and two boys. How did you know? But best of all, he patted my head with his great big hand. Father was always super nervous around him, but I don't think he's that scary. I think he’s very sweet, he’s just very gruff too. Ooooh I’m so happy! Thank you for the advice. You’re the best!
Did Father get the kinks out?
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My darling,
I am very happy for you, but that was only ninety-four words! How are you an Influencer yet so concise??? Are you wanting me to starve? This is modern education system for you. I must sit you down and teach you how to write a letter, with kisses for gold stars. If you do not write me a good letter, I will punish you with hugs and tickles. You are my wife, you must obey me, remember that. Must I ask you series of questions like I am on speed date?? I have been on those before, it is not fun. Any date where I have not known the prospective mate for her entire life, is not fun. The only time it is fun is when I am in disguise. Anyway. I knew he would give you foals because I know what he wants, he spelled it out to us once, remember? Remind him of your baby-making superpower every couple of weeks if you desire regular shipments of animals.
You did not ask, but I am having fun here, strategizing, upsetting Ramenman with my existence, eating, having my hair done by Buffaloman, eating, pranking Kinnikuman, making Robin squirm , breathing Herculean air. I cannot fight these old men. Maybe I should teach the classes I am signed up for. It is such a waste of time though, the children are always too afraid, unlike Kevin, who was the right sort of afraid, especially once he saw me for who I was. Maybe I should teach classes in disguise. It will still be my knowledge, but packaged in a more appealing box. Hmmm…might gain marbles from such a venture. I will have to consider.
My dear, look in the mirror and tell me what you see. I am lying in bed and watching your videos. If my heart could swell, or beat, it would be swelling and skipping beats. You are so beautiful, and soft, and pooky, my pooky, my special little girl. I am so blessed that, despite everything, you still look at me the way you did when you were a small child, and knew nothing of either the evil of the world, or my own evil in particular. That is no small treasure, and I do not take it for granted.
I love you with all my heart, now and forever. You are mine, and I am yours.
💛
Dear Nicky <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I love you.
;p
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