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“It's March 21st,” Tyler says suddenly, looking up from his phone. Josh snipes a few zombies before registering what Tyler's said.
“Um. Okay.”
Tyler pouts and leans sideways until his shoulder bumps Josh.
“We met on March 21st, 2010."
This takes another second to sink in, but not because Josh is distracted. He pauses the game and turns to Tyler.
“You- you remember when we met?”
“It was a historic moment,” Tyler defends.
“An historic moment,” Mark jeers from the opposite couch.
“Shut up,” Tyler fake-pouts. “It sounds stupid that way.”
“You don't remember when we met,” Michael teases from the table, where he's doing some sort of 'work' on his laptop.
“No one remembers being born,” Tyler bites back. “You guys, come on!”
“Yeah lay off,” Ben says, and Tyler believes him for a happy moment, until- “let him flirt.”
Josh throws a cushion at Ben's face, which succeeds in distracting the others from the blush creeping up Tyler's cheeks. Josh unpauses his game and promptly gets killed by a Tank. He groans, but lets Tyler lean on him, watching quietly as he restarts the level. The others continue to chatter around them.
Tyler loves sleep, but some nights it just doesn't come. It's the day after his and Josh's “anniversary”; after the short exchange that had left him a little self-conscious and a lot embarrassed.
He's laying in his bunk exhausted, begging his body to just shut down already- but his brain won't have it. He thinks about Josh, and he hopes everything's okay between them. His rational mind knows that Josh is used to his weirdness by now; sometimes Tyler goes a little to far with things and leaves the realm of “normal stuff friends do.” Not that they're exactly normal to begin with, but there is a framework most of these relationships keep to- right?
But still, Tyler hates this feeling; like he's giving too much for what they have, like he's seems desperate. He'd felt that way through most of high school, like he was too clingy, too needy, too territorial of his people.
It's been a long time since then, since he'd felt that. Actually, it's been years at this point, and he suspects Josh has something to do with that. Josh takes everything Tyler has to give, and if he thinks it's too much, he doesn't say.
But... he might still think it.
There's a knock at the wall outside his bunk.
“You awake Tyler?”
It's Josh. Of course it is. Tyler shuts his eyes. Should he answer? It must be past noon by now, but he just can't get himself to move. He wants to talk to Josh but he's in a weird place- and he really needs to rest.
The curtain opens anyway. Tyler's instinct is to pretend to sleep, because he doesn't want to have to explain why he doesn't want to talk. He hears the rustling of plastic, and then the pillow dips as something is placed on it. Then there's a pause. The blanket around Tyler's midsection is tugged up, and wrapped around his shoulders. Tyler stays stock-still as Josh's fingers brush his bare chest.
The next second the curtain is being pulled shut again and Josh is walking away.
Tyler looks over at the bag as soon as the footsteps stop. It's from Del Taco, and the smell of beef and cheese is starting to fill his bunk. It fills Tyler with some sort of emotion too- a positive one at least. It's a hybrid with no name: relief, and gratefulness, and belonging all at the same time. It's a head rush honestly, and Tyler suddenly has the energy to roll out of his bunk.
Josh hears Tyler's feet land on the floor, padding in the wrong direction, and he suppresses a laugh. Josh doesn't have to guess that Tyler's looking for him.
“Hey buddy,” comes Michael's voice from the front. Josh can just picture Tyler's hair getting ruffled.
Tyler groans and shuffles back toward the bunks.
“You okay?” Dan calls back, and Tyler grunts out that yes, he's fine, just tired.
“He's looking for Josh,” Mark says, thinking it's quiet enough (he'd be wrong about that).
Tyler huffs as he pushes into the back room where Josh is. He's shirtless, and his Joe Boxers are peeking above the band of his plaid pj's. His hair is about as messy as it can get, and he probably needed to shave yesterday. He's holding the food Josh had brought, and when he sees Josh sitting on the small couch, he plops down beside him and starts eating.
“Hey,” Josh says, and puts his phone down. Tyler nods to him around a mouthful. Josh waits patiently for him to swallow before continuing. “How did you remember when we met? It was like 6 years ago.”
Tyler flashes him a look of suspicion, but Josh keeps himself calm. Tyler's knee is bumping up against his so Josh reaches out and places a hand down to still it, and strokes his thumb along the bone. Tyler relaxes at that.
“I didn't really, I just... I remembered you came to a show at the community center and it was cold, because you helped us load the car at the end. And it started to snow, and you said something about that, so...” Tyler looks a little ashamed. “I just- like- looked up the community center archives online and we had a show on March 21st. And I know we hung out after Easter, so that makes sense...”
Tyler looks back down and his food and sneaks a quick bite of taco. Josh can't help that smile that forms at that, nor the squeeze of his hand, still on Tyler's knee.
“What made you look that up? You already know when I joined the band.”
“I don't care about that,” Tyler says, and them immediately backtracks. “I mean I do, but we were friends before- it's about me and you, not the band.” He turns away from Josh to gaze through the thin opening in the door, which leads back to the bunk area, and further back to where the others are chatting over lunch. “Is that weird?” Tyler asks, quiet and unsure.
There's sadness and insecurity touching every part of Tyler: his face, the tension in his shoulders, the unconscious tearing of the fast food wrappers in his lap. Josh thinks to get up and close the door properly, so that Tyler can stop stressing about whatever the guys are doing and thinking. They're his friends too, but clearly Tyler just wants to talk to Josh right now. Tyler sucks in a breath as Josh gets up, but releases it when the door is fully closed.
Josh goes back to him, closer this time. He slings one arm around Tyler's back, resting the hand on Tyler's opposite shoulder. The other hand he places on the center of Tyler's chest, palm down, and rubs. It's a familiar gesture to them both, and Tyler's eyes close for a moment. His heart is fluttering.
“Is this weird?” Josh asks, dipping his voice into the softer range. The seal of the door has canceled out most of the white noise of the bus and the city around them, and now even his breathing seems unusually loud.
“No,” Tyler admits. “Well I mean objectively it probably is, you know two guys-”
“Forget about that,” Josh interrupts. “I'm not asking if it's weird for everyone else, I'm asking if it's weird for you.”
“Oh, well no.” Tyler opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Josh. Their faces are so close, but it doesn't bother either of them.
“Me neither,” Josh says. “And we're the only people in here.”
“In where,” Tyler asks, going poetic for a moment. “In this room or in this... us?”
“Both,” Josh smiles. He pats the space over Tyler's heart. It's calmer now. “I'm glad you care about when we met.” He pauses as an idea hits him. “I don't remember it too well, but I do remember you were wearing your blue tiger shirt and white pants.” Tyler snorts, and Josh seizes the opportunity to make him laugh. “Happy Friendiversary, baby boy.”
“Friendiversary-” Tyler repeats, before he breaks out into a fit of giggles. He presses his shaking body into Josh's chest. Josh laughs too, though he's not sure why. Sometimes he and Tyler just laugh, far too long after a joke's stopped being funny. They're just happy, he figures.
Tyler's lips touch the round of Josh's cheek, and a grin spreads against his skin. It's a kiss, and it feels like the natural progression of things- as does the urge for it to continue. Josh's smile persists as he turns and presses their foreheads together, shifting Tyler closer and tightening the hold around his back. Josh sucks in a breath, tries to suppress his giggling, and dips down to kiss Tyler properly, pushing their lips together.
The giddiness subsides, but the happiness doesn't. It's just different, just calmer and deeper, but no less intense. It's just a simple kiss. They shift and nip at each other but neither opens their mouths past that. Tyler's heartbeat is steady under his hand, and his body is pliable; he's still tired. He smells like tacos, and he's making the softest noise in the back of his throat. Everything about this is consistent with his best friend; he's still Tyler, just closer, better, more.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, and no reason to pull away. They kiss without thinking, without judging or fear of being judged- until footsteps sound in the hallway outside.
They panic in unison and break apart. Josh's takes the hand off Tyler's chest and Tyler shoves the rest of the taco in his mouth. This all happens just in time, before Mark slides open the door and looks them. There's pause where whatever he was about to say falls flat. He squints, narrowed eyes darting between them. Then he slowly backs away and shuts the door behind him.
Josh and Tyler burst into laughter again. They cling to each other until the giggles die down, and then for a short time after. When they finally do rejoin the pack, it's to the same old noise. There's chatter and laughter and the smell of Mexican food everywhere. Josh starts up Left 4 Dead and Tyler plays co-op with him. Their shoulders bump together as they gleefully set the Tank on fire, and then run for their lives.