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Yuji always questions why he lets Nobara drag him to house parties like this. Flashing lights, cramped spaces, shitty food and drinks, people out of control. Yuji loves fun as much as anyone else, but this was a bit much for him.
Nobara left Yuji only for a second to go to the bathroom, when she was stopped on her way by a decent looking guy, and she began talking to him. She swore in her brain she would get back to Yuji, but her conversation dragged on just long enough for it to slip from her mind.
Nobara knew she needed him at parties like this just as much as he needed her. They were always the hooligans of the class, but that was when they were with each other. In places like this, they both had a higher chance of being overwhelmed. The only reason Nobara isn’t right now, is because she is having a semi-interesting conversation with this guy.
Yuji, slowly scooting his way through the house, continues to look for Nobara. He eventually just drops the cup of shit-beer he was holding onto the floor, joining other trash he doesn’t want to acknowledge. Eventually, he’s able to get out of a particularly crowded part of the house, and just as he does, he sees his friend, leaning against a wall, talking to another guy.
An immediate, instinctual feeling courses through him. Jealousy. No, it’s not jealousy, why would he be jealous? There’s nothing to be jealous of, it’s more… protective, a protective feeling, that’s what Yuji convinces himself.
Though, the one thing he still can’t ignore about Nobara ever since he picked her up was her outfit. She has an off the shoulder blouse and a tight leather skirt that goes just past her mid-thigh, and heels. As her friend, objectively, he’s always known she was attractive.
Objectively.
He can’t keep his eyes from taking one drag from her heels up to her gorgeous (objectively) face. Though, when he sees her expression, she doesn’t seem like she’s having the time of her life like he expected. She looks bored. He knows that if there’s one thing Nobara hates, it’s boredom. As Yuji begins making his way over to her, he sees a flash of anger on her face, before she slaps the man across the face.
Nobara was having a… fine conversation with this guy, and she just remembered to go find Yuji, but just before she could cut the conversation off, the guy said, “Y’know, I’m sorry if I’m a bit forward but… I’d just love to fuck you’re brains out tonight.” She was promptly disgusted, and immediately slapped him across the face with enough force to make his head spin.
She looks away from him and immediately locks eyes with Yuji, who was already on his way over to her.
“Hey, are you ok? What happened?” He asked, his face clearly showing dismay for her, and his hand gently brushing her arm.
“I’m ok. This guy was just being a douche, nothing too serious. Let’s go.” She says, taking Yuji’s arm and walking swiftly outside.
Nobara continues walking with a mix of silently fury and another emotion as they make their way down the sidewalk, towards a small bar near the house party. Yuji speed walks to keep up with her, “Hey, I know you’re still mad, and that’s totally cool, but… are you sure you’re ok?” Her anger had dissipated slightly from walking, and from Yuji being with her. They were always 2 peas in a pod. They clicked in ways that had both of them arguing and making each other double over in laughter.
“Yeah… yeah, I’m… good.” The hesitation makes Yuji think otherwise. “I just want to get away from that place, and have a real drink.” She says, her anger dissipating a bit more when she sees the worry on Yuji’s face. “It’s nothing out of the ordinary, I run into assholes all the time. It’s fine.” She tries to reassure him. Though, what she said basically did the exact opposite.
“Um… I don’t think that’s fine Nobara. I don’t want you running into guys like that all the time.” He says, wondering how she is able to just walk off douchebags like she is doing now.
“Well it’s not like you can control whether that happens or not. I just need to… pick better.” She sighs.
They finally make it to the bar, but Yuji grabs her arm just before they enter. “Hey, it’s not a you problem, you know that right?” He says. “Those guys decide to be assholes to you. It’s not your fault, ok?” His eyes pleading with her.
This kindness, this caring, is what Nobara loves about Yuji. He will always have his friends back, especially hers. And that’s why he’s her guy-best-friend. Friend. She has to remind herself, as she stares at his pleading face a bit too long.
She nods, “Yeah. Thank you. Let’s go inside, I need a drink.”
A couple minutes later, they sit at the bar, both with a drink in hand. Yuji’s leg is anxiously bouncing on the stool, because even though Nobara doesn’t look as angry anymore, she isn’t bouncing back like she usually does. She’s not cracking jokes about the guy she just slapped, or about how awful the party was, or talking about some drama from her classes or with their friends. She’s just… sitting there.
“I’m sorry to ask again but… are you ok?” He says, trying to approach as softly as possible.
To his surprise, she lets out a shuddered sigh, and just mumbles, “Sometimes I wonder why I even do this to myself.”
Something is definitely wrong. Yuji’s heart starts to race. “What do you mean? What’s wrong?” He asks, reaching over and taking her free hand in his. “You… you’re kinda freaking me out.”
Nobara sighs again and speaks slowly, “I… I haven’t gone on a second date in 2 years, and…” she tries her best to articulate this, “I don’t know, I’ve never relied on other people’s approval for my confidence or anything… I know I’m hot…” She and Yuji chuckle softly for a small moment, “But… I don’t know, sometimes it gets to me… these fucking guys, not liking how I know I’m the shit, or just wanting to fuck. It… it doesn’t feel good.” She says, her eyes on the bar counter, filled with a sadness Yuji has never seen in her before.
Yuji listens intently. Nobara is the most unrelenting person he knew. She does not take shit from anyone. But to see her be so… small, for once? It rubbed him the wrong way.
“That’s awful. I’m sorry they make you feel like that. But… you can’t let them get to you.” He says.
Nobara’s previous anger flares a bit. “I know that, I’m not letting them, they just… do sometimes. And… it’s exhausting, putting yourself out there, knowing you’re the shit, and getting turned down.”
Yuji can’t figure out the best words to comfort her right now, so he does what he knows would always help him, and he gets up from his stool, and hugs her tightly.
She gets off her stool and hugs him back, burying her face in his chest. Yuji won’t let her go until she moves first, and he thinks that will be a while, because he hears some small sniffles coming from her buried face. He rubs her back, and softly strokes the back of her head.
It’s been a long time since Nobara has cried over guys for Christ sake. The last time had been 3 years ago, over a 5 month relationship. She felt so embarrassed, being dragged down to this level because of someone that wasn’t her. She prided herself on never letting anyone affect her or her way of thinking. But…
Eventually she pulls away from his chest, her eyes a little red. Yuji looks down at her, wipes a stray tear with a napkin, and says, “You’re too pretty to be crying over some assholes.” She laughs and sniffles.
“Yeah, I know. But… everyone has their off days right?” She sits back down on her stool, wiping her nose, “Thanks for your sweatshirt by the way, it was a very good tissue.”
Yuji looks down at the dark stains on his sweatshirt and chuckles. “Anytime.” He says softly. Though… as he sat back down on his stool, and stared at the girl who’s confidence he’s admired for years, at the girl who taught him basic fashion, who matched his energy for better or worse, he comes to a type of realization. When he said anytime. He really meant, any. Time. People usually say it as a form of comfort, but Yuji just realized, if she ever needed him, he would drop whatever it was to be there with her. He wants to be the first person she calls, the one she cries into, and laughs with, and touches endearingly, and…
Oh fuck. Yuji’s caught feelings. He starts questioning himself, is it messed up to check out your friends after they were just crying?
He watches her take a sip of her drink, and he follows her neck down to her exposed shoulders, her soft skin, the way her blouse accentuates her arms and her chest, and her thighs showing from her tight skirt.
He needs to stop.
“Is something wrong?” Nobara asks, seeing Yuji seemingly stare off into space. She needed a good cry after a while, and of course Yuji was there to comfort her. She could always rely on him. Megumi is great, but he doesn’t have the softness that Yuji wears on his sleeve, the kind of thing she wants right now.
Yuji snaps out of his stare, “Oh, um…” he feels like he is in a make or break moment. Yuji has just realized how he really feels about his friend. Is this the best time to say it? How do you bring this up? Do you even bring it up in the first place? Fuck. “You… you just look really nice tonight.” He says softly. He compliments her appearance all the time, and she compliments his, when he isn’t wearing a sweatshirt. This isn’t out of the ordinary, so why does he feel like he just said the equivalent of I love you?
Nobara gives him a confused look. Not for what he said, but how he said it. Why did he stutter? Why is his face red? She knows her outfit is hot, even though she just had a good cry into Yuji’s chest. Is he just trying to make her feel better? She feels… fine, now, after crying it out. What is his deal? “Um, thanks.” She says.
Nobara normally wouldn’t vent about her problems with guys to another guy but, it’s Yuji. She always talks to Yuji, about anything, everything. She continues looking at him, seeing him fidget in his stool, taking small sips from his drink, trying to act normal when something is obviously up with him. Her eyes drag over his body, seeing him constantly readjust in his seat, playing with his fingers, taking sips, mostly likely for a dry throat.
Yuji notices her unflinching gaze on him, as if she’s trying to solve a puzzle. He looks even more uneasy. “I-Is it getting hot in here?” He says, pulling at the collar of his sweatshirt.
Nobara raises an eyebrow, “I feel fine. Is everything ok with you?” She asks.
Yuji stands up from his stool, “Me? Yeah, I’m good, it’s just… hot.” He says, before pulling his sweatshirt up and over his head. It takes his undershirt up with it for a moment, revealing his abs, which Nobara takes a very normal amount of time to observe before his shirt falls back down. She thinks it’s over, until she looks up, and—wow, did Yuji’s biceps always fill out his shirt like that? Is he flexing his muscles? Or do they just look like that?
“Do you… feel better?” Nobara asks, trying not to stare at his shoulders outlined by his shirt.
“Uh, yeah, a little.” He says, his voice still holding a type of anxiety she can’t pinpoint. “Do you feel better?” He asks.
He’s trying to deflect, or at least change topics away from himself. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll get over it.” She says.
Yuji sighs, and looks a little relieved. “Good. I… I hate seeing you sad.” He says softly, looking at the bar, picking at a piece of wood.
Nobara’s attention is acutely fixed on him. Not just on his weirdly obvious muscles but on the shy sincerity on his face. All friends feel like that right? Friends? What he just said shouldn’t be making her skin tingle, or her heart feel light, knocking the air out of her lungs like it is right now. Did she have too much to drink? (She has barely finished her first glass.)
“Thanks.” She answers simply yet sincerely, “I hate seeing you sad too.” Yuji once showed up to her dorm looking absolutely deflated, on the verge of tears. He was put on hold for an athletic team he really wanted to get into, and he already made it up in his head that he was rejected. They spent the night at her place stuffing their faces with candy, gossiping, and doing basically anything that didn’t have to do with sports. Even though it did distract him, he still didn’t have that obvious light you can spot from a mile away. Not until the next week when he was let in. That week took a toll on Nobara as well, seeing her friend so absolutely miserable for an extended period of time. Nobara hates seeing Yuji sad too.
Yuji is both calm and panicked at the same time. His best friend, his now crush, is feeling better after crying into his chest. That’s great. But, he’s just realizing how much he wants to put his lips on hers, and not just the lips on her mouth. How much he wants to feel her. In any way.
Yuji is officially having a crisis.
“Do you wanna start heading back?” He says, trying to control the shake in his voice.
He sees Nobara snap out of a familiar trance he believes he was just in, before she says, “Yeah, I need my bed after tonight.”
They both exit the bar and begin walking to Nobara’s dorm. They walk awfully quietly. Yuji can’t help but think if it’s something he said, if he was staring weirdly, or if he’s making up the awkwardness in his head. They always have something to talk about.
Nobara is trying to use the silence to figure out what it is about Yuji tonight that is making her breath short, but it’s hard to focus when they stand so close, side by side, on the sidewalk.
Their hands brush together, and they both flinch, snatching their hands away. As they both realize the ridiculousness of both their sudden movements, they begin to laugh, hard, like they normally do. It’s one of the most comfortable feelings in both of their lives.
“What was that for?” Yuji asks, continuing to laugh.
“Me? What was your reaction for? You acted like I just tazed you.” Nobara responds.
“So did you.” Yuji says. Their laughs begin to recede, and they begin walking again, as close as before. Yuji sighs, “Tonight has been kinda… weird, right?”
Nobara, for a reason she doesn’t even know, panics. What does he mean by that? Did she do something wrong? No way, right? He’s just making small talk. What does he mean by weird? But… she does agree that her head space feels… different. “Yeah, that’s one word for it.” She says.
As they calm down, and fall into silence again, their hands brush once more. Obviously, they aren’t opposed to physical touch between each other, but also obviously, this isn’t a normal night for either of them. They’ve only held hands a small number of times, like during some roller coasters, some formal dances back in high school, some scary movies, that one time Yuji was getting the results of his grandfather’s test back, that one time Nobara had to get a shot from a very large needle at the doctors… They've held hands a lot.
So… this time shouldn’t be any different, right? Only the fact that it’s not just a reflex, or a stress squeeze, it’s a want. Yuji initiates, he reaches out the last couple inches and grips her hand in his, palm against palm. And just like that, they are holding hands. No problem. At all. No need to mention Yuji's exploding heart, or Nobara’s tingling nerves up her hand throughout her body. Yuji is holding hands with his best friend. That he wants to kiss. Badly. Nobara is holding hands with her best friend. That has been with her through thick and thin, and has always been on her side. And has very attractive muscles.
They continue walking, not exactly acknowledging each other’s hands, but not ignoring them either. They’ve grown used to the silence by now. They aren’t usually in silence when with each other, but after… whatever happened in both their minds at the bar, they are content to just walk, hand in hand.
Nobara wants more. She doesn’t exactly know why, or what this thought means, but… Yuji’s palm on hers doesn’t feel like enough, even if it’s already making her breath short for some reason. Without words spoken, she begins rearranging their hands, moving fingers like puzzle pieces, “What are you doing?” Yuji asks softly, only cracking the silence, not breaking it.
“N-Nothing.” She says, finishing rearranging their hands, so now their fingers are interlocked. They are now holding hands. This makes Nobara feel better.
This makes Yuji want to jump for joy and shit his pants at the same time. The way she was playing with their hands, the fact that she changed it to be more intimate? His heart is racing, and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep for the next couple of days. But on the other hand, what if she’s just doing this… just because? Just because… she wants to? But holding hands like this, means more? Right? He doesn’t know, now his mind is racing as fast as his heart, what does he do? Does he do anything at all?
His internal panic is so overwhelming, he doesn’t notice that they have arrived at Nobara’s dorm. Neither of them let go of the other’s hand.
Nobara curses her dorm. She wishes it didn’t exist, so she could keep walking with Yuji, their hands together. But the building sits there, an exit she has to take out of the rising comfort of their silence and Yuji’s hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She says. She takes a step towards her dorm, but she feels a tug.
Yuji hasn’t let go.
She looks back towards him, “What… What's up?” She asks softly, enjoying every extra moment she is being given right now.
He is staring at the ground, “I… just wanna stay like this… a bit longer.”
Nobara’s heart drops, she feels warm all over her body. He… he wants this? She thought he was just putting up with it, like friends do. “Oh… ok.” She says.
So they stand, fingers interlaced, staying within the bubble of whatever they have created tonight.
Yuji takes a small step forward. He still hasn’t been able to look her in the face. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, he just stands closer. Nobara’s palm begins to sweat, she thinks that his hand will withdraw, and with it, whatever has been brewing tonight. She doesn’t want that.
But his hand doesn’t move.
Yuji is scared to look up. He’s scared of what he might see, her confusion, disgust, or worse… pure neutrality. But he doesn’t want to just sit here, her hand in his, and not look. So he gets the courage to look up, and his eyes lock with hers.
He sees… nervousness? He thinks?
“Sorry… this is kinda awkward, right?” Yuji says.
“No, it’s fine. I’m… fine.” Nobara says.
Yuji is so scared, and nervous… he doesn’t know what to do. This night, this walk, it has all felt so different than what he usually feels around Nobara. But she’s already had a long night, slapping a guy, crying, drinking, he feels like he shouldn’t do anything else tonight. But if he doesn’t do anything… he feels like this moment, this feeling around each other… it’ll never show up again.
Though, as he stares into her eyes, he sees, just for a moment, her eyes flick over his figure… the same way he has looked at her tonight. He stares at her lips, then back to her eyes, then her lips, and eyes again. Yuji takes another step closer, his chest touching hers. She doesn’t move.
Nobara doesn’t know what to think. She can smell him now, his overwhelming familiarity. She doesn’t back up, she looks up at Yuji, and sees the same thing in his eyes that she feels in her chest. She’s comfortable, being this close to him. She likes it.
That’s when Yuji lets go of her hand, and for a moment she resigns herself to the fact that this was all it was. A moment. Never to be thought of again. Until he brings his hand up, cupping her cheek and neck. She can see the nervousness in his eyes, “Yuji…” she says. She doesn’t even know what she was going to say, but he responds,
“Nobara…” in a soft whisper. That’s when his head dips down, and her heart rate spikes even more. He rests his forehead on hers, she can hear the shake in his breath. He whispers again, “Can I kiss you?”
Her breath shakes with his. Nobara doesn’t exactly know what this is… what’s happening right now. But what she does know, is that she likes Yuji, whatever that may mean. And she likes the way her heart feels when he does this. So, through a shaky breath of her own, she says, “Yes.”
His mouth dips down, and his lips find hers. The kiss is soft, yet full. Yuji is lost in the sensation and the taste of her, and he has never been happier. His free hand finds her waist, and he is now holding her closer, kissing her tenderly. He can’t hold back a soft groan, and he cherishes every second he gets with his lips on hers. It’s his most recent dream come true.
Nobara’s hand slides up his neck, and she is surprised by how nice this feels. The sensation she got from just holding his hand is amplified by the taste of his lips. She was scared about what would happen when their lips would meet, but now, all the nerves, the fear, every negative feeling built up tonight, it’s all gone with a single kiss.
They forget time as they kiss tenderly, but eventually they break. Yuji wants to try and control himself, but he can’t help but smile.
They both speak softly.
“What are you smiling about? Is this your first kiss, big boy?” Nobara says.
Yuji shakes his head, and answers softly, “No jokes right now.” His hand still caresses her cheek, “Our relationship… you… mean a lot to me.” He says.
Nobara understands the gravity of this, of what they just did. She nods, “You mean a lot to me too.”
Though Yuji smiles, though he just kissed his best friend, and she kissed him back, he still can’t help but ask, “Was… Is this ok?”
Nobara knows what he’s asking. He’s probably feeling the same thing she is, happy, overwhelmed, anxious. But she nods, “Yeah. This is ok.” She answers softly, stroking his cheek with her hand.
She sees some relief cross over his face, “I… I just don’t wanna mess up anything.” He says.
“What? With us?” Nobara says with some surprise, thinking their kiss solidified a new piece, a new step of their relationship.
He silently nods.
Yuji has a fear of hurting people, she knows that. So she says, “You do know you’re the only reason I’m smiling tonight, right?”
He smiles slowly, “Yeah?”
She smiles and nods.
With that, Nobara sees all of Yuji’s anxiety and nerves lift from his shoulders. He sighs, “You’re so awesome.” He hugs her tight, finally. “No more assholes for you anymore.”
She hugs him back and laughs, “Is that a declaration?”
He responds, “Yup. I’ve deemed it a law now.” He laughs with her. He pulls back from the hug, and looks at her with pure joy and affection, “You won’t run into any more assholes like tonight, or before. Just me.”
Nobara refuses to cry a second time that night, even though what he just declared almost made it a reality. She smiles, “I like ‘just you’.” She says. She pulls him down for another kiss. It’s quick, yet holds so much new found happiness and affection from both, it might as well have been equal to the end of a rom-com.
Though they don’t say it, for that would be too much of an emotional toll on both of them tonight, they can see in each others eyes and feel in their hearts…
They love each other.