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“Felix can we please take a break? We’ve been at this for hours.” Sylvain whined, slumping back against one of the training dummies.
“Not until you get it right.” Felix demanded. He readied his wooden sword for what felt like the hundredth time that evening.
At this point, Sylvain was resigned to the fact that he was never gonna get this. He understood how to perform the “sword breaker” in theory, but in practice it just didn’t make sense! How was he supposed to move that fast?
It was getting late. Sylvain was exhausted, sore and hungry. Unfortunately, they weren’t done until Felix said they were. Sylvain had promised Felix that he would take his training more seriously after his close call during the last battle, and he never broke his promises…no matter how much a cold beer at the pub was calling his name.
So, with a dramatic sigh he stood back up and readied his lance. “Ready?” Felix asked. Sylvain nodded, wanting to just get this over with.
Felix charged. Sylvain raised his lance to block the attack and quickly brought it back down. Admittedly, he was being a bit lazy about it now, and accidentally brought the lance down at an angle instead of vertically. The end of it landed just inside Felix’s left foot.
Oh…
Suddenly it was easy to knock Felix off his balance by sweeping the lance outward. Felix lost his footing and stumbled backwards, seeming just as surprised that Sylvain had actually managed to figure it out.
“Haha!! Finally” Sylvain sighed with relief.
“Not bad.” Felix smirked. Coming from Felix, that was pretty much the highest compliment Sylvain could get. He almost felt giddy.
“I think this calls for a celebration!”
“I’m not going out drinking with you.” Felix rolled his eyes.
“You’re no fun.” Sylvain pouted.
“Yeah, because watching you drunkenly hit on women is so much fun” Felix said sarcastically.
“You’re not supposed to just watch.The idea is to find a cute girl of your own to spend the evening with.” Felix continued to look unamused as ever. “Come on! You’re not even a little bit interested in meeting someone? Like at all?” Sylvain asked incredulously.
“Why would I need to meet girls?”
“Lots of reasons! To blow off steam, have a pleasant chat-“
“I’d rather just train.”
“-And eventually you’re gonna have to find someone to settle down with, might as well start meeting people now.” Sylvain continued, completely ignoring the interruption. “I could even be your wingman! As a thank you for helping me learn this technique.”
”Not interested. Now if you’re done, we should practice the sword breaker a few more times tonight so it sticks.” Felix said flatly.
“Ugh…FINE. No rest for the weary” Sylvain sighed.
He watched as Felix examined the weapons rack, deep in thought about what to use next to attack him. Sylvain couldn’t help but stare at his defined arms as Felix twirled a couple different swords to test their weights.
Surely if Felix wanted to, he would have no trouble finding someone for a night of fun at the very least, but for as long as Sylvain could remember Felix had never shown any interest whatsoever in dating.
Maybe he was just too tired after training all day every day to go out and meet people, but even still, Sylvain would think after 22 years of being single the guy would be a little interested in finding a partner…
Unless…
“Oh my god…I’m such an idiot.” Sylvain thought out loud.
“Tch. Knowing you, that could mean anything.” Felix teased. Rather than responding to the insult, Sylvain’s lips curled up into a smug, knowing smile.
“I know why you’re not interested in meeting girls.” Sylvain said in a singsongey voice.
“Seriously? You’re still on this?” Felix’s groaned, but Sylvain once again ignored him.
“You don’t want to meet anyone new because you’re already into someone, aren’t you?”
“What?! No!” Felix sputtered, pointedly turning his gaze away. It didn’t matter though, they had been friends since they were toddlers. Sylvain could read him like a book.
“I knew it!” He laughed triumphantly. “Soooo, who is it?”
“Nobody! Shut up!” Felix hissed. Yup, Sylvain had definitely hit the mark.
“It must be someone we’ve known for a long time. Since the academy at least…”
Felix was silent, but if looks could kill Sylvain would be dead in a ditch by now. He didn’t care though. Felix was cute when he was flustered, always had been, and Sylvain intended to enjoy every moment of it.
“You’ve been hanging around Bernadetta a lot recently, maybe it’s her? I could see you being into the shy type”
“She’s helping me brush up on my archery.” Felix said defensively.
“Sure” Sylvain cooed.
“I’ll prove it to you. Stay still.”
Before Sylvain could process what Felix was doing, he grabbed a bow and arrow from the weapons rack, pointed it at him, and let an arrow fly.
It whizzed right over Sylvain’s shoulder, embedding itself in the head of the straw practice dummy behind him.
“Damn. Remind me never to piss off Bernadetta.” Sylvain said quietly.
“If you were smart you wouldn’t piss me off either” Felix grumbled. Sylvain didn’t feel the least bit threatened though.
“Oh!” Sylvain snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it! It’s Dorothea isn’t it?”
“No! And stop asking.” Felix snapped, finally deciding on a sword.
“Come on…Yuri told me you attended their Opera performance last week. Why else would you go to something like that?”
“For your information, I happen to enjoy music”
“Since when?” Sylvain asked incredulously.
“Since always, you just never asked. Now shut up and raise your lance already.” He was probably hoping Sylvain would drop it in favor of continuing to train. However, unluckily for Felix, Sylvain happened to be very good at multitasking.
He nodded, giving Felix the go ahead to charge. He did, this time coming at Sylvain with much more force than before. Sylvain raised his lance to block his downward strike, but instead of sweeping him off his feet again, he stayed put holding the block.
“So if it’s not Dorothea, who else could it be” Sylvain teased through gritted teeth.
”Drop it.” Felix growled.
“Annette maybe?”
“I said drop it.” In a flash, Felix pulled back and side stepped. The wooden sword hit Sylvain in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him. He attempted to do the same on the other side, but Sylvain managed to awkwardly block it.
“Never pictured you having a thing for redheads” Sylvain coughed. This clearly struck a nerve. Felix’s face went red with rage and embarrassment.
He stepped forward, using his shoulder to push Sylvain off balance. Sylvain fell square on his ass, and before he could bring up his lance to do do anything, Felix had him pinned down: a knee to his chest and the dull edge of the wooden blade pressed against his throat.
“You’re dead.” Felix growled.
“I’m right though? Aren’t I” Sylvain was out of breath and panting, but he still cracked a smile.
“You’re such an idiot.” Felix rolled his eyes and got off of him. “Annette and I are just friends.”
“Really? So it’s just a coincidence that you’re nicer to her than anyone else?”
”Unlike you, Annette isn’t a pest.” Felix huffed.
“Hey! Don’t be rude!”
“Then don’t be annoying.” Felix said flatly.
“If you tell me who this mystery girl is, I’ll stop being annoying.” Sylvain bargained.
“I already told you, there isn’t a mystery girl.”
”Fe, come on, I know you’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
“I call Bullshit. Come on, just tell me—”
“SHUT UP!” Felix abruptly shouted, his voice piercing through the otherwise quiet night. It caught Sylvain off guard. He hadn’t heard Felix get angry enough to shout like that since they were kids.
“Okay okay sorry… I was just messing around.” Sylvain was definitely gonna be up all night trying to figure it out, but he also didn’t want to force Felix to do something that would upset him so much.
“That’s the problem you idiot! If you keep messing around it’s only a matter of time before someone gets hurt again!” Sylvain opened his mouth to try and defend himself, but Felix didn’t give him the chance and continued to go off on him. “Maybe if you stopped focusing so much on stupid crap like this and actually focused on your fucking training, you wouldn’t have so many close calls all the time!”
”Felix I’m sorry! Alright? I’m sorry.” Sylvain rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “It’s just…you’re my best friend, and it feels weird to not know what’s going on in your life.”
“This is my life right now. In case you’ve forgotten, we’re in the middle of a war! The only thing that matters right now is trying to survive. And even if we somehow manage to win, there’s no point in talking about this, because there’s no way we could ever be together. There’s no way he would ever even bother with me! So stop fucking asking!”
Sylvain stood frozen, fixating on one world of that sentence in particular:
”He?”
Felix’s eyes widened, all of the anger instantly replaced by a fear Sylvain hadn’t seen since they were children.
“No! I–I have to go.” Felix stammered, immediately turning on his heels to flee. Sylvain wasn’t letting him off that easy though. Felix was fast, but Sylvain’s legs were longer, so he was able to catch up in a few strides and grab Felix’s wrist.
“You said he… The person you like…it’s a man, isn’t it? Is that why you didn’t want to tell me?” Sylvain asked gently. Felix’s shoulders slumped.
“Sylvain…please just let me go.” He said quietly, desperately, like he was begging for his life. The absolutely broken sound of his voice made Sylvain feel beyond awful for pushing him into accidentally outing himself.
“I’m sorry…I should have backed off…For the record though, I do understand. Alright?” Sylvain squeezed his arm reassuringly before letting go.
“No…you don’t.” Felix said through gritted teeth.
“Why wouldn’t I? You know I’m into guys too right?” Sylvain had never explicitly told Felix that, but it wasn’t like his preferences were a secret. Hell, even innocent little Flayn knew that Sylvain wasn’t straight.
“I thought those were just rumors.” Felix said quietly.
“Most of them are…but that particular one happens to be true.”
“Huh…” Felix hummed. He was still facing away, but his shoulders relaxed slightly. Sylvain took that as a good sign and continued on.
“My point is, maybe I don’t understand exactly what you’re going through, but I’ve got your back. Okay?” He cared about Felix more than anyone, and just wanted him to be happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness to make it happen.
A moment of tense silence passed as Felix processed the words. As much as Sylvain wanted to give him the biggest hug, he restrained himself. He had already pushed too many boundaries today.
“How do I get rid of it?” Felix finally mumbled, so quietly Sylvain almost didn’t hear him.
“Get rid of what?”
“I don’t want to feel this anymore. It’s just an annoying distraction.” He hadn’t seen Felix cry since his brother died, but right now he sounded close to tears. “If you’re really such an expert when it comes to this stuff, then how do I make myself stop wanting him?”
Sylvain wasn’t sure it was fair to call him an expert in love. After all, none of his “relationships” ever lasted more than a couple weeks. However, he did know the crushing feeling Felix was describing all too well. In fact, Sylvain was feeling particularly suffocated by it now.
“You’re not gonna like this, but you need to tell him how you feel.”
“Not happening.”
“Hear me out…the only way to get rid of the pain is to get this off your chest.” Sylvain said, choosing to ignore the hypocrisy of his own words.
He had been in love with Felix for years, but had resigned himself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen a long time ago. He thought he was okay with it, but just knowing that Felix was into guys, could potentially be into him, he just…wasn’t? It made everything feel fresh and tender and sore.
“Besides. You don’t know for sure that it’s gonna go badly.
”Trust me, I do”
“No, you don’t! You’re smart and strong and funny and as much as you pretend to be a jerk you’re actually really sweet. He’d have to be an idiot to not see that you’re an amazing guy.”
Goddess above, how could anyone not be madly in love with him? Sylvain honestly couldn’t fathom it.
“He is an idiot…” Felix said with a bitter laugh. At least he no longer sounded like he was holding back tears.
“A bigger idiot than me?” Sylvain laughed, hoping a little self deprecation would help snap him out of it.
“The biggest.”
“Wow. I gotta meet this guy at some point. Sounds like we’d get along.” Sylvain hid just how much the idea of that hurt his heart with another carefree laugh.
“In the meantime, wanna do a couple more rounds?” Sylvain picked up a new lance and experimentally twirled it around. He figured they could both use the distraction right now.
“Sure” Felix turned around and grabbed a new sword. He hastily wiped his eyes, but Sylvain pretended not to see, even if he ached to wipe the tears away himself.
They went back and forth a few more times, each time feeling easier than the last. Now that Sylvain had figured out the trick, the move was actually pretty intuitive.
Something seemed to shift in Felix too. He was lighter on his feet, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Sylvain wondered how long he had been carrying that secret around.
Though Sylvain was definitely getting the hang of the Swordbreaker, the combination of his fatigue and the lingering tightness in his chest allowed Felix to get the upper hand once more. The lance was knocked from his hands and sent flying.
In a desperate attempt to keep himself from getting whacked in the side again, Sylvain’s hand shot out. He grabbed Felix’s wrist and twirled into him, miraculously disarming him in the process.
”Good Sylvain!” Felix huffed, though his counter attack immediately followed the praise. He stepped into the inside of Sylvain’s leg, knocking him off his balance.
“Oh no you don’t!” Sylvain wrapped Felix in a bear hug and together they fell to the floor.
They wrestled for several minutes, but in the end ended up in the same position as before: Sylvain flat on his back and Felix pinning him down by sitting on his legs.
“Not bad. I thought you had me for a second there.” Felix panted. As they caught their breath, Sylvain couldn’t help but stare up at Felix. His hair was askew from their tousle, his cheeks were flushed a beautiful shade of pink, and his eyes shone like polished bronze in the moonlight.
“What?” Sylvain blinked the daze out of his eyes to see that Felix was staring back at him, an eyebrow raised with suspicion.
“Nothing. Just…um…” Sylvain was usually a smooth talker, but right now he was struggling to string a sentence together.
“Earlier you wouldn’t shut up, but now you won’t speak?” Felix teased.
“In my defense, it’s kinda hard to focus when I have a hot guy sitting in my lap.” Sylvain retorted before he could really think that sentence through.
“You’re insufferable.” Felix rolled his eyes.
“I know…” A moment of silence passed. It wasn’t awkward exactly, but it was tense.”
”I’m being serious though.” Sylvain said, deciding to actually practice what he was preaching to Felix earlier and be honest about how he felt. “You’re a catch, and if the guy you like can’t see that, then he’s a fool.”
Felix’s eyes widened, and he looked away with a frustrated expression. Maybe Sylvain was imagining it, but his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink than they typically did from physical exertion alone.
“He is a fool.” Felix said quietly, almost sadly. “The biggest fool in all of Fódlan.”
“Heh… and here I thought that was me.” Sylvain chuckled, remembering how Felix had called him that so recently. Felix’s gaze flitted back up to him, then back away with that unreadable expression.
Finally it clicked in Sylvain’s brain.
“Wait…”
“Lets…let’s just call it a night.” Felix never ran away from battle, but it was clear he was trying to run away from the truth. However, there was no way in hell Sylvain was going to let that happen.
Before Felix could fully get to his feet, Sylvain grabbed his waist and flipped them over.
“Hey! What the?!” Felix landed flat on his back, stunned by the sudden attack. Before he could try and escape again, Sylvain pinned his wrists to the ground on either side of his head. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“The person you like…the one who you think would never bother with you…It’s me, isn’t it?” Sylvain asked calmly. He was 99% sure his suspicion was correct, but he had to be completely sure. If he acted on false hope, he would ruin everything.
Felix closed his eyes and grit his teeth. His shoulders began to shake, but he slowly nodded.
Sylvain didn’t leave Felix hanging for a moment longer. He leaned down over him and, very gently, pressed a kiss to his lips.
Felix’s eyes flew open, and he let out a shaky breath of either surprise or relief.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Sylvain smiled down at him.
“I…what?” The surprised squeak Felix let out was so adorable that it just made Sylvain want to kiss him more. He started to lean back in to do just that, but suddenly Felix jerked his head away.
“I’m not like the girls you mess around with.” Felix said, more vulnerable than Sylvain had ever heard him. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Sylvain chuckled fondly and brushed a strand of hair out of Felix’s face.
“Do you know why I’ve dated so many people?” Sylvain kissed the corner of Felix’s mouth, then his cheek, before stopping just above his ear. “Because none of them were ever able to compare to you.” He whispered.
Felix shivered at the feeling of Sylvain’s breath on his ear. “Sylvain?”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.” Sylvain didn’t need to be told twice. He dove back into those lips that he had spent every night of his life fantasizing about kissing.
This time, since Felix was prepared, he actually kissed Sylvain back. It was clear he didn’t really know what he was doing, but Sylvain could care less. Sylvain had kissed his fair share of people, but this was more euphoric and intense than all of his past experiences combined.
He squeezed Felix’s hands once more, then let go of his wrists so that he could touch more of him. Everything about him: from the feel of his hands gripping Sylvain’s shirt to the little noises he made to the way his waist fit oh so perfectly in Sylvain’s hands, was utterly intoxicating.
Sylvain pressed his body flush against Felix’s. He wanted so badly to just touch every inch of him that Felix would allow, to take whatever he was willing to give.
Felix’s hands found their way up into Sylvain’s hair, which only spurred him on further. Sylvain ached to be inside of him in any way, so he swiped his tongue across Felix’s bottom tip, asking permission before going further. Felix accepted, and while his movements were clumsy and uncoordinated, Sylvain was in heaven.
“A-HEM” They both jumped when the loud, passive aggressive cough completely shattered the moment. Sylvain turned to see Ingrid stomping coming towards them at an alarming pace.
“Seriously Sylvain! The Training Grounds?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” She began whacking Sylvain with a book between her scolding.
“Hey! Ow!! Ingrid stop!!” Sylvain scrambled off Felix in a futile attempt to shield himself.
“Is no place sacred?! What’s next? The chapel!? I mean honestly what could have possessed you to think—wait…FELIX?!” Ingrid froze immediately when she noticed Felix, who had shuffled into a sitting position as well.
“Were you…” Ingrid trailed off, looking like she was doing intense mental gymnastics to make sense of the scene she had walked in on. Felix looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment.
“We may have gotten a little carried away while we were training.” Sylvain explained sheepishly.
“Since when are you two…”
“None of your business.” Felix growled.
“I would argue it is my business if I have to worry about walking in on you two fooling around at the training grounds!” Ingrid snapped back. Felix opened his mouth to respond, but realized he couldn’t exactly deny it, so instead he hid his face in his hands and groaned.
“Sorry Ingrid, we got a little swept up in the moment. It won’t happen again.” Sylvain intervened.
(Though, if he was honest with himself, the idea of fooling around at the training grounds again was kind of hot)
“Good.” Ingrid crossed her arms and looked away. “For the record I’m very happy for you two.” She added after a moment of awkward silence.
“Thanks Ingrid. That means a lot.” Sylvain said sincerely. Felix stayed hiding in his face in his hands.
“Well, um… I just came by to grab a book that I left here.” Ingrid said, awkwardly holding up the book she had been hitting Sylvain with a moment ago. “I guess I’ll…see you two tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Ingrid.” Sylvain waved her off as she awkwardly showed herself out.
As soon as she was gone, Sylvain couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny!” Felix hissed.
“It’s a little funny.” Sylvain giggled.
“I hate you” Felix tried to shove him away, but Sylvain kept his arms around him.
“No you don’t! You loooove me.” Sylvain teased.
“You’re so irritating.” Felix’s face was beet red.
“If I’m so irritating then feel free to shut me up.” Sylvain said flirtatiously. He was expecting Felix to tell him to go fuck himself, but surprisingly, he took the bait and kissed Sylvain. Judging by the force he had when he pressed his lips to Sylvain, he probably was just trying to shut him up, but he melted when Sylvain cupped the side of his face and kissed him back.
While Felix had amazing stamina in pretty much any other situation, his inexperience on this front meant he was the one who had to come up for air first. Sylvain took probably too much satisfaction in the fact that he was able to take Felix’s breath away for once.
“I love you too, by the way.” Sylvain said softly against his lips. He felt Felix smile. “Wanna get out of here before someone walks in on us again?” Sylvain giggled. He was so happy he almost felt drunk.
“Fine. But we should come back and practice the sword breaker some more tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Sylvain said. Felix’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What?” Sylvain laughed.
“I was expecting you to be more whiny about that.”
“Well, I now have quite the motivation to show up to practice.” Sylvain nuzzled his face against Felix’s cheek. “My training partner happens to be very cute”
“You really are insatiable,” Felix hummed.
“You love it”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me” Sylvain chuckled and left one last kiss on Felix’s cheek before helping him to his feet. As they walked back to their rooms, Sylvain laced his fingers through Felix’s, just because he could.
His body was battered and bruised, every limb was sore, and he felt sweaty and disgusting, but he would happily train like that every day knowing that Felix was his reward.