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Izuku Midoriya had never really been someone keen on the idea of sleep. He had struggled with insomnia for most of his life, but since starting U.A and finally having a quirk, he found that he was kept up even more often with the fears of not being worthy of anything he had achieved.
He had wandered down the stairs that led to the common room at around 1:30 in the morning, not bothering to make coffee; he was already well awake. Izuku slumped down on one of the green couches and pulled out his phone, where he scrolled the news for a while before spotting an article that seemed to jump out at him.
Quirkless 9-Year Old Found Dead, Suspected Suicide
Oh.
That was... the youngest Izuku had heard about in a long time. He wasn't sure if the light from his phone was bright enough to illuminate the devastation on his face. He hoped it wasn't.
Because, well, for every quirkless kid that commit, dread followed their death. Helplessness and pure hopelessness. The quirkless population was dwindling, in Japan especially, so everyone turned a blind eye to the group of people they prayed would be gone within the next few generations.
And that hurt for Izuku. Because if it wasn't for All Might or Hawks that one night, he would've been one of those statistics. He didn't understand how and why he was the one quirkless kid who got lucky, who got a chance, when there were so many others who deserved it more than him.
He was broken out of the trance by footsteps descending down the stares. Izuku wiped any tears from his eyes and looked to see who the newcomer was. By the time he recognised Shinsou's signature violet hair, the boy was already talking.
"Huh - I guess even the lucky teens with gold-star quirks aren't spared from terrible sleep schedules."
"Guess not."
Shinsou settled on the lounge perpendicular to his, and they stayed in comfortable silence for a few moments before Shinsou piped up again.
"You know, I was wondering. Why do some people get so lucky? Why did you get so lucky?"
Izuku shrugged. "I was just thinking that," he deadpanned.
"Don't mock me," he wasn't but alright, "I'm being serious. Do you know how hard it is, growing up with a villainous quirk like mine?"
He shook his head; it wasn't like he grew up with a quirk to begin with.
"Of course you don't." The purple-haired teen's words were laced with venom, but they didn't sting Izuku, who had heard much worse from his middle-school classmates. "I guess I'll have to teach you, then, since you're lucky enough not to know what I'm talking about." Shinsou paused, before drawing in a sharp breath and continuing.
"People never liked my quirk. Brainwashing? That sounds just like what a villain would have. I mean, who's to say I couldn't have just manipulated all my friends into liking me? That didn't make sense, though, because I never had any. But they didn't care. You know I was forced to learn JSL because nobody trusted me enough to speak? Once my classmates muzzled me for a whole school day and, you know what the teacher did?"
He looked up to meet Izuku's empty gaze and scowled.
"They praised them for their heroism. They claimed it was the first school day where they felt safe teaching me. As if my quirk immediately made me some- some monster!"
By that point, tears were budding by Shinsou's eyes. Izuku wanted to say something, anything, but he knew that any words he tried to utter would just make him more angry.
"What do you have, Midoriya? Surely your whole life couldn't have been perfect. Nobody deserves that, and sure as hell not you."
He paused for a moment. Izuku debated whether or not Shinsou was worth spilling his life story to - something he hadn't told to anyone - but, fuck it, he had nothing to lose.
"My quirk came in late. By quite a bit, actually."
Shinsou scoffed. "By what, a year? That's to be expected for a quirk as perfect and powerful as yours."
"What, perfection means my bones breaking every time I try using the quirk?" He snapped back, not really thinking.
"Oh, please-" Shinsou started, but Izuku cut him off. He didn't care anymore.
"My quirk manifested the day of the entrance exam. Me breaking my arm against that zero pointer was my first experience ever with quirks."
Shinsou paused. "You're shitting me."
Izuku chuckled. "Detective Tsukauchi himself would be proud at my level of truth-telling."
The purple-haired teen stared at him with wide eyes. "But that would mean you were..."
"...Quirkless?" Izuku was met with a nod, so he continued. "Yeah. That's why I have such terrible control over my quirk. It's not that I was too stuck-up to practice, I just never had time."
That seemed to leave Shinsou speechless, so Izuku sighed and decided to direct the conversation from there. If Shinsou could trauma-dump, so could he.
"My dad left when I was 6, once he realised that pain wouldn't allow him to force a quirk 'outta me. Mom had to pick up extra shifts at the hospital to keep us afloat. They paid her less, too. A single mother of a quirkless child? Employers could get away with anything.
"That meant she wasn't around enough to notice the bandages that practically covered me from head-to-toe. Kids in elementary school were just learning their quirks, and they needed something - or someone - to practice on." Izuku paused for a moment, expecting to see pity, disgust, or the common mix of both on Shinsou's face. But there wasn't. It was confusion, and... fear?
"...They used you as a target?" Izuku nodded. "What did the teachers do?!"
He laughed at this. It was dry and empty, filled with years of pent-up self-resentment.
"What did they do? They encouraged it - contributed too, sometimes, when they needed to blow off steam. I spent most of the money Mom left on burn cream and DIY suture kits. Fun times. Elementary wasn't that bad compared to middle school, though. Sometimes, the elementary kids are too young for hatred to have set in yet, but by middle school they were rats. Desk graffiti and ripped uniforms and spider lillies that, obviously, I was blamed for-"
"-Wait, did you say spider lillies?" Shinsou seemed horrified and kind of guilty, which was odd considering how rude he was being earlier. Izuku nodded. "But doesn't that mean..?"
"...Yeah, it does. It didn't hurt that much, though." Izuku stared at his hands, fidgeting with the skin around his nail-beds. "Not as much as the verbal threats, at least. Most of the time, I could try ignoring them. But then one time in the third year of middle school, the one person I thought wouldn't stoop so low did. He gave me some advice."
Shinsou was staring at him, near unblinking, at this point. "What did he say?"
"He said that if I wanted to be a hero so bad, I could pray for a quirk in my next life and-" Izuku hated how his voice broke. He knew that Kaccha- Katsuki was right, so why did it hurt so much? "-and, uh, take a little swan dive."
"He said what?! Midoriya, you didn't, like, try take the advice, right?"
He hesitated. He wanted to say, 'of course not!' and move on, but that was a lie so he hesitated. That day appeared in his mind. Rooftops and starry skies, so beautiful, too beautiful for someone like Izuku to look at, wind rushing through his hair, wings - red wings - wrapping around him, bringing him safely to the ground, the necessary questions, Izuku running once his quirk status was brought up, and god was he good at running-
"...Right, Midoriya?"
"Hawks is a fast flier."
Shinsou looked confused for a moment before he put the pieces together. One moment, Izuku was wringing his hands, feeling so cold, and the next, the purple-haired teen had his arms wrapped around Izuku and he felt warmth.
"Oh, Midoriya..." Izuku noticed that pearly tears were welling at Shinsou's eyes, more than his own. But why? Didn't he hate Izuku? He was a bit too sleep deprived to have a filter, or any social awareness, so he continued.
"All Might had saved me from a villain that day. I was stupid and I needed to ask a question, so I clung to his leg and we landed on a rooftop. So I asked him if a quirkless child could become a hero... and well, he said no and left me there, so I sat there. For hours, I think. I remember the stars being pretty. At some point I got tired of waiting. I figured, why not follow advice and make someone happy for once? Be a martyr or whatever." Izuku's voice was shaking. Why was he saying this? He hadn't realised how much he needed to tell someone this.
"But apparently that building was along Hawks' patrol route. But the next day, All Might found me, told me a few national secrets, said he was wrong and I could be a hero."
He paused, before adding, "With his quirk."
If Shinsou had a coffee, Izuku was fairly sure it would have been spat out. "W-what? What do you mean by that?!"
He went wide-eyed. "Oh, shit, I forgot he asked me not to tell people. Something about a two-century-old villain after any holders of the quirk. Oh, fuck that, it's my quirk now, and I trust you. But yeah, my quirk was All Might's and there were like, seven before him. So he trained me for ten months as if he hadn't left me, the suicidal quirkless kid, on a rooftop, and gave me his quirk the day of the entrance exam. And here I am, questioning why I'm the one who got that chance and why I'm still not happy even though, like you said, I have a gold-star quirk."
The silence stretched on a bit too long for Izuku's liking.
He was quite thankful when Shinsou broke it, who stood back up from the extended hug, illuminated by Izuku's phone, that was still open to the news article on the quirkless kid.
"I'm not sure whether to cry, apologise, question the fact that All Might gave you his quirk, or question the fact that a two-century old villain is after you, so I- I think I'll apologise first. Priorities, y'know?" The purple-haired boy took a deep, deep breath.
"I'm sorry for being such a dick and assuming things about your life, I was so caught up in my own resentment of having a 'villainous quirk' that I forgot to consider that you probably didn't have a perfect life ever. I'm sorry for creating an, evidently one-sided, rivalry based solely on quirks and nothing else. I'm sorry for what happened to you and I'm sorry for missing the signs that something was wrong."
And, there went the classic Midoriya tears. He stood up and hugged Shinsou. Silent tears turning into choked sobs.
"I don't blame you, y-you couldn't have known. I'm sorry for rambling for s-so long, I've just needed to share that for so long... too long, and I was just... I'm sorry for making this about me."
Shinsou pushed him away, holding his shoulders with a serious expression plastered on his face. "You did nothing wrong, Midoriya. You clearly needed support and I missed that."
Izuku wiped tears from his eyes and grabbed his phone. It was 2:30 already.
"Uh, I don't know if I'm gonna sleep tonight. You wanna get coffee from the kitchen?"
Shinsou nodded. "Yeah."
"Alright. It's dark but I can use my phone torch." He offered his hand so he didn't leave him stumbling through the dark. "C'mon, Shinsou."
He took his hand. "Call me Hitoshi."
"Call me Izuku, then."
"Alright, Izuku."
He smiled, which made for an odd sight - he had red, puffy eyes but a lopsided grin.
Izuku sighed and flicked on the light.
Just to see someone else already there.
Shin- Hitoshi beat him to it.
"Aizawa-Sensei?"
"The one and only." There, on a bar stool, sat their homeroom teacher, staring at them with a concerned expression, coffee mug in hand.
Izuku piped up. "How long have you been sitting there? Why aren't you in the teacher's dorms?!"
He took a long sip of coffee. "Since like, midnight. Staff dorms are out of coffee and I don't trust my class. Guess I made the right call," he deadpanned.
Izuku gulped, green eyes widening. "...You heard the whole conversation, then?"
"Oh, absolutely. I'm in the process of sending Inui an email to sign both of you up for therapy sessions."
Suddenly, the bittersweet atmosphere from a few moments ago disappeared. Aizawa Sensei knew. That he was quirkless. He knew just how useless Izuku was. Oh god. Was he gonna get expelled? What would he do if he couldn't be a hero? Would he-
"-You with us, Midoriya?" Izuku was jolted back to reality, and looked up to see his teacher gently tugging apart his hands, which he were nervously scratching. He nodded, trying to blink away the tears. Shame washed over his face. "Kiddo-"
"I'm sorry and I understand if you want to expel me." Izuku's voice shook, and more uncomfortable silence dragged on for a few beats too long.
"Why would I expel you?"
Izuku was dumbfounded. "Because I was quirkless..?"
"Well, you got in, didn't you? My only concerns are the fact I've been giving you the same training as your peers when you need more quirk counselling, and your mental state. I'm not sure if Shinsou realised it, but your third year of middle school was last year."
The aforementioned Hitoshi, who had been previously silent, let out a choked sort of sound. "Izuku, shit, that's so... recent..."
Aizawa-Sensei nodded and Izuku looked down in shame. "I agree with your classmate."
"I'm sor-"
"No apologising for things that aren't your fault," Hitoshi interjected.
Their teacher sighed. "You two have had an... eventful forty-five minutes, and I doubt you'll be able to sleep, and neither can I, so unless your insomniac selves have randomly been cured, you're stuck with me."
Izuku shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He really didn't want to talk about this any more. Aizawa-Sensei must have noticed, because he turned his attention to his phone.
"Wanna see photos of my cats back at home?"
The two boys nodded enthusiastically, pleased at the distraction.
The three spent the morning admiring their teacher's five cats, and the two students tried to act shocked when they accidentally found out that Aizawa-Sensei was married to Present Mic (really, everyone already knew).
All of them took the day off. Izuku and Hitoshi had seperate appointments with Hound Dog instead. Hitoshi was going to learn about trauma and how to cope through ways other than anger. Meanwhile, Izuku had a long psychiatric evaluation to sit through. Well, at least he was already in a mood.
If, when Izuku came out of the appointment, Aizawa ruffled his hair and praised him for his bravery and honesty, that was between them, God, and the cats, probably.
If, after endless nagging when Hitoshi found out that the 'advisor' was none other than Katsuki Bakugou, he too was forced into therapy, that was between him and Izuku.
And if, less than a week later, Aldera Middle School was shut down for the forseeable future? Well, that was between Izuku and his school's insane (and much appreciated) stoat principal Nedzu.