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A soft rustle of trees in the breeze.
Sun shining down to dapple the forest floor.
Water rushing quietly by, the river just out of view behind… someone.
A figure.
Smooth, flint tinged stone skin.
Pearly, opalescent eyes.
Bushels of white flowers spilling down shoulders, between short, curled horns.
A scent on the air.
Unforgettable.
Wisteria.
The white fog wouldn’t leave the corners of Beast’s vision.
Ever since the impromptu “group therapy” session, thistles had been growing in her chest. They curled tightly around her heart, aches blooming like ugly flowers. Thorny vines snaked out from between jagged, needle sharp leaves, clawing their way into her limbs and gut and head. Any place their prickles snagged, venom oozed, seeping through her veins. It singed like acid at the back of her throat. A fire she refused to loose on those who decided to stay.
But.
There was only so long she could swallow it back until it overflowed.
Beast dully registered her claws scrabbling against porcelain, the sound distant and tinny through the fog. Hot, sour sludge dripped from her maw, throat aching and raw. Gods. It hurt. How many times had she retched? How long had she been here?
A croaking whine slipped from between her teeth.
Where was here?
An ocean of fog, clouds billowing endlessly as she tried to push through it.
Slowly, bits and pieces of the world came back into focus. Porcelain under her front paws, cool tile under her feet. Fuzzy fluorescent light dancing across smooth, neutral toned surfaces. Bits of metal, here and there, a spout and two handles not far from the end of her muzzle. A smotheringly sterile smell, punctuated ever so slightly with the scents of her fellows.
The bathroom.
She was in the bathroom.
‘When did I… how did I get here? I don’t… I can’t remember…’ Her thoughts oozed like slugs in the mist. A tiny whimper bubbled into a rasping cough, Beast’s shoulders hunching as her claws scraped harshly against the sink. More sludge spattered from her maw, painting the alabaster ceramic a violet so dark it could have been tar. A shaking paw fumbled for one of the sink handles, rushing water sweeping the ugly stains away. Beast still couldn’t remember when she’d gotten here, but a nagging feeling in the back of her head said it had already been too long. ‘I have to get out of here.’
Trembling fingers, fuzzy towel. Beast did her best to wipe the remaining sludge from her muzzle, acid still thick on her tongue. She really should find out what time it is. Even if nobody had broken down the door trying to get her onstage yet, that didn’t mean she wasn’t late. Was she late? When was the last time she’d eaten…?
Why couldn’t she remember lunch?
With a frustrated huff, Beast shook her head, forcing the heavy haze back just far enough for her to see. She was in the hallway now, stage staff flowing- a river just out of view- farther down around a corner to her right. The common room door was the other way. Beast turned her head slowly, icy gaze skipping from floorboards to maroon wallpaper as she tried to focus. Bits of white danced at the edge of her vision- pearly, opalescent eyes- as it finally caught on the door.
The lights were on. That meant people. A figure. Or, it COULD mean people. They might’ve just left. The lights had some kinda magic sensor to turn em off after awhile. She couldn’t get her ears to tune in, struggling to tell if the sounds she was hearing were real, or a soft rustle of trees in the breeze-
Beast’s feet moved without her say, shuffling her unevenly to the door. The knob was turning in her paw, and the lights grew brighter- sun shining down to dapple the forest floor- before her eyes readjusted.
The common room was empty.
A feeble breeze of relief swept through her. ‘Thank the gods for small mercies,’ a small voice whispered. Her ear flicked as she entered the room, Beast unable to parse if the action was in agreement or dismissal of the voice. She forced her gaze to turn to the digital clock someone reliable had rigged up on the wall. The red blocky numbers flashed 5:10.
Dinnertime.
Or. No, wait, had she gone into the arena yet today? If she hadn’t, this was before dinnertime- but- no, she had gone today. That’s why her arms were so sore, right? From trying to take down one too many enemies with her claws? Or was that yesterday, and the fog pushing ever closer was just making her memory bad? It was- it was 5:10, right? Five ten. But… was it a block, or a calendar? Had she misremembered? Maybe it was five of ten, not 5:10. ‘Like the… like the fifth of October…?’
Her birthday.
A scent on the air. Unforgettable.
Wisteria.
Beast felt her lips peel back from her fangs, ears pressing flat against her head. Fog across her vision. A wall of white petals slowly closing in on her. Whines clawed up from her throat, thistles and acid spiking up to meet them. No, she couldn’t- she wasn’t there, wasn’t back where there was a rustle of trees in the breeze, sun shining down to dapple the forest floor, water rushing quietly by, the river just out of view behind-
“Beast?”
It gasped sharply, air stinging sweetly against it’s tender throat. Wild icy eyes. Venom pooling at the tips of bared fangs and claws.
“Apologies- have I startled you?”
A figure. But not flint. Simply… gray. Steady.
“… are you there, Beast?”
Movement behind them.
“Oh shit- beast, are you ok???”
Yellow now.
“Is that- aw geez, have you been throwing up again…?”
Yellow. Reliable. Though reliable led to red numbers, flashing, fifth of October-
“Hang on, I don’t think she can hear us.”
Unfaltering. Purple.
“Beast… beast? Shoot… I better go get the boys…”
Purple. No, violet. Violet so dark it could have been tar-
“I concur. Go swiftly.”
Venom in her throat-
“We’ll handle trying to get her to sit down, ok?”
Thistles in her chest-
“Ok, I’ll be back soon.”
A maelstrom of nothing but fog, white, a scent on the air, unforgettable-
Wisteria.
Something moved. It lurched backward, snarling thickly past a deluge of sludge. The thing moved again- no, a separate something entirely. Two figures in the fog, reaching for her with outstretched hands- scornful talons, frigid glare no longer a gaze of fondness. Wisteria had said they were forever, but now she paced alone past the trees. Had it never meant anything? No. It meant everything. So it had to be something she’d caused. But what? What had she done? Why had it changed? Why had the walls gone up, why had the flowers shifted from love to loss, why, WHY, WHY?
Muffled voices. Scarcely audible. Soft surfaces sliding past matted fur. Fangs rending plush objects. Claws tearing jagged holes. Like a monster.
A horrible, angry, disgusting monster. What kinda thing do you banish from villages besides a monster? What else could I have done to make you hate me? I did as you asked. I did everything, I waited, I was gentle, please don’t make me go, I want to stay, you’re all I HAVE, please gods let me stay with you please I love you please I love you I love you I love you don’t make me go let me stay please I love you I love you I-
“Beast?”
Silence.
Well, mostly silence, aside from ragged breathing. The lump of blankets on Beast’s trembled violently.
Warrior and Thief shared a look from their vantage point in her doorway. This was the fifth time someone had found her like this. Nobody needed to ask what it was about. The quiet keening now drifting from Beast’s bed was all the confirmation they needed.
Warrior shifted back a step. Thief slipped in through the open space, taking point on comfort. His gentle voice and soft touches coaxed a tear streaked muzzle from beneath the blankets. Keening was the only answer to his careful questions.
Seems one wasn’t enough.
But that was alright.
With a silent wave of his hand, Thief beckoned Warrior over. He lumbered across the room as quietly as he could, setting one of his big soft hands in sniffing distance. Beast’s wet nose twitched- once, twice- before her head fully emerged. She shoved her muzzle into Warrior’s hand, nuzzling into him with a mournful whine. He shushed her gently, careful to mind her horns and tail as he sat down beside her. The lump of blankets was now more of a puddle, only one or two remaining wrapped about Beast’s limbs. Warrior did his best to tug them close, wrapping up the whimpering ball of fur curling into his chest. Thief waited until her claws were safely tucked away before reaching to help, adding a blanket or two to her pile. Warrior scooted to one side, not a word to Thief, but plenty of gentle soothing to Beast. Thief settled wordlessly at Warrior’s side. When Beast twitched, violent and unexpected, twisting away from Warrior’s chest, Thief was there to catch her.
Together, her boys held her.
Together, their voices drew her through the fog.
Together, they eased her violent shivers to tired trembles.
Until.
In the softest whisper.
A voice.
“… I think loved her.”
Silence. A gentle squeeze on her paw. A careful tightening of a hug.
“…What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing.” An answer, this time, instantly. Swift and sharp as an arrow. Only softened by the silk that stroked her fur. “It shouldn’t have happened.”
“… but… but I’m… I-i should’ve… I…”
“Oh, Beast…” Normally a voice like thunder, now rumbling soft like a lion purr. “You didn’t deserve it. You really really didn’t. I promise.”
“… I… b… y-you…”
“We promise,” a soft green coil around her paw.
“… I’m sorry…”
“It’s ok,” a firm blue pat to her head. “You’re doin your best.”
“… it hurts...”
“It always will,” a mournful, quiet hiss. “… But you are strong.”
Movement- a determined, heartfelt nod. “Yeah. And you’re not alone.” The rumbling voice again, pulling her closer. “We got you.”
“Mhm.” Two hands, now. Gentler than any of the blades they’d handled. “It’s safe here.”
“… safe…”
Two voices, green and blue, in harmony.
“Safe.”
Slowly, Beast let herself slip from the fog. Slowly, her body settled into the warmth of her boys. Slowly, her shaking stopped, and her sobs faded away.
Safe.
She was hurting. Badly. Agonizingly. For reasons she’d never quite understand. And a love she’d never get back.
But… she was safe.
Misery could not keep her with closeness like this.
Her boys and her friends wouldn’t let it.
With that assurance in mind, Beast let go of the fog.
And slowly, she let herself drift off to sleep.