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Darling, don’t be scared of what’s around the bend
No, when you feel alone, I hope you never forget, oh
I’m gonna live forever in you
Long as the sky and oceans are blue
I’ll always love you, and I’ll never stop
I’ll always be there, even when I’m not
(Even When I’m Not – Maren Morris)
Rinlada sighed.
Her eyes darting from one cloud to the next. Sometimes they looked like animals—once, she saw a cloud shaped like a duck. Today, she spotted one that looked just like Rocky, their golden retriever. From where she lay on the grass, she could hear Ranlada’s giggles and squeals as she played with Rocky, the dog’s paws thudding against the ground as they chased the ball.
Ran’s coveralls were streaked with mud, and Rinlada could already picture Mommy’s eyes widening when she saw the mess. There would probably be a lecture, and she pitied her twin when she imagined the frustrated shake of the head from Mommy. Usually, Rin would’ve been right there with them, getting dirty as she ran with her sister and the dog. But today, she was not in the mood.
She closed her eyes, letting the soft, cool breeze brush against her face. It made her feel sleepy. The wind carried with it the smell of fresh grass and dirt, and the faintest hint of the flowers Mommy planted in the garden. Rinlada’s fingers twitched against the mat, her small hand brushing the blades of grass sticking out from the edges. The sunlight warmed her skin, but soon, the light dimmed as a shadow fell over her face.
“Rin, what are you doing?” came Ranlada’s voice, full of curiosity. Rin squinted up at her twin, who was frowning down at her with her hands on her hips, a little mud splattered across her cheeks.
“Closing my eyes. Thinking,” Rin mumbled, half eyes opened. Ran was always full of energy, even when Rin just wanted a moment to be quiet. Ran plopped down next to her on the picnic mat, wrinkling it with a soft flop. Mommy had laid it out so they wouldn’t get dirty, but Ran had managed to get mud everywhere anyway.
“Thinking about what? Tell me! Tell me!! Tell me!” Ranlada leaned in close, her eyes wide with excitement, like she was waiting to hear some big secret from her sister.
“Ran, go awayyy,” Rin grumbled, swatting a hand lazily in front of her face. “Play with Rocky. Don’t bother me.”
Ranlada’s excitement fizzled at Rin’s annoyed tone, and she went quiet, her lower lip poking out in a pout. Rin opened one eye just a little, seeing her twin sitting beside her, looking down at her hands. A pang of guilt hit Rin’s chest, and she sighed again, this time softer.
She pushed herself up onto her elbows, legs still stretched out on the grass. Her fingers dug a little into the mat as she fidgeted. “It’s just… I haven’t finished our homework yet. Have you?”
Ran’s face instantly lit up, like someone had flicked a switch. “Of course! You wanna see it?”
Before Rin could say yes or no, Ranlada was already digging into her overall pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper, its edges crumpled. She held it up proudly, a big grin spreading across her face as if she had just found a treasure.
Rin sat up fully now, curiosity replacing her earlier irritation. “Let me see.” Ran offered the paper with both hands, her eyes sparkling.
The paper had a few doodles on the corners, little hearts and flowers that Ranlada loved to draw. Rin’s brow furrowed as she looked at it.
“See? I told you I did it,” Ran said, her voice sounding a little proud.
Rin stared at the homework, then glanced at her sister with a raised eyebrow. “What is this?” she squinted at the paper, trying to make sense of Ran’s messy handwriting.
Love is…
- Mama and Mommy
- my sister (my best friend in the whole world)
- rocky
- meatball spaghetti
- music
“It’s the five things that mean love to me,” Ran explained, her face glowing with excitement. But Rin just blinked at her, still processing the words.
“Hey, Ms. Lawrence said we could put anything we want,” Ran added quickly when she noticed Rin’s confused expression. “So I put those.”
Rin made a face, but too tired to argue. “Hm, okay,” she muttered, though her tone was far from satisfied.
Ran tilted her head, studying her twin. “How about you? Have you done yours yet?”
Rin didn’t want to admit it, but the way Ran was looking at her—with those big round puppy eyes—made it impossible to lie. She groaned softly. “No. I don’t know what to put,” she said, her voice tinged with frustration.
Ran knew this mood well. Rin got like this when things weren’t going the way she wanted, and the last thing Ran wanted to do was make it worse. So she stayed quiet for a moment, letting her twin brood in peace. After what felt like forever, Ran spoke up gently, her voice soft as a whisper.
“You want me to help?”
Rin’s eyes darted toward her sister, surprise flickering on her face. “Really? You’ll do it for me?
“Of course, silly,” Ran grinned.
“So, how do you know it is love?”
“Easy. It’s the things that make you super happy!”
“That’s not helping at all!”
“Just wait and see, Rin.”
“So, what did you two do outside—aside from rolling in the dirt?” Earn asked as she came into the kitchen, her hair still wet from bathing one of her messy daughters. She went over to the counter and started cutting bread. Ran followed Earn from behind, dragging her feet and making grumpy noises as she climbed onto a stool at the kitchen island.
“Sleep… looked at the clouds… thought about homework,” Rin muttered, still giggling at how dirty Ran had gotten earlier. It was kind of funny seeing her twin all muddy like that.
“You still haven’t finished it?” Earn stopped cutting the bread and stared at Rin, almost like she didn’t understand why her daughter hadn’t done it yet. Rin always finished her homework first, right? But Rin just stared at the floor, her little face scrunched up.
“Yeah…” Rin whispered, feeling small. She didn’t like homework. Not today.
Earn leaned down a little, her eyes soft and worried. “Do you want Mommy to help?”
Rin shook her head quickly, but before she could say anything, Ran jumped in, her voice bubbly again. “It’s okay, Mommy! I’m helping her already!” Ran smiled, hoping Mommy would see how good she was being after getting in trouble for the mud earlier.
Earn just shook her head, smiling. “Alright, but remember, there’s only a week left of your holiday.”
“Yeah, yeah, we knooow, Mommy,” Rin groaned.
Earn laughed a little and put their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of them. One had the crusts, and one didn’t—just how they liked it. Rin glanced at her plate. No crusts. No yucky crusts.
Ran didn’t waste any time and stuffed half her sandwich into her mouth. “Mmm, yummy! Thanks, Mommy!” she said, her voice all muffled.
But Rin just stared at her sandwich. Her heart felt funny. Mommy cut the crusts off, just for her. She bit her lip, feeling eyes go all watery, and looked up at Earn.
“Mommy, you cut the crusts off? Thanks…” Rin said, her voice soft and shaky, trying not to cry. The crusts always made her mouth feel weird and scratchy, but she never told anybody. It felt like a big secret. But now… now the sandwich was just perfect.
Earn smiled at her. “No problem, honey.”
Rin took a little bite, feeling the soft bread melt in her mouth. She loved it. And Mommy knew. Mommy always knew.
And now she knew what to add to her list.
1. Love is when Mommy cut the crusts off my bread.
“Darlings, I’m home!” Lada exclaimed brightly, her voice echoing through the hallway as she stepped through the front door, the warm glow of the afternoon sun spilling in behind her.
Rin, who had been busy rummaging through the toy box, looked up just in time to see her sister, Ran leap into Lada’s arms. Lada caught her effortlessly, her strong arms wrapping around her daughter in a warm embrace, making Ran giggle with delight. Lada set her bag down gently on the shoe cabinet, lifting Rin too when she finally at her Mama. Lada gave each of her girls a kiss on the forehead. “I missed you both so much today!”
“Just them?” Earn teased, leaning casually against the kitchen doorway, crossing her arms with a playful smirk.
Lada turned with a grin, her eyes twinkling. “Of course not! I missed my big girl too!” she replied, reaching out for a quick kiss from Earn.
“Ewww, mamaaa!” the twins giggled, their noses scrunching up in exaggerated disgust.
Lada laughed, her eyes sparkling with love as she took the scene of her family. Earn picked up Lada’s bag, giving her a soft nod. “Why don’t you guys let Mama freshen herself up?”
“Okay!” Rin and Ran chimed in unison.
As Ran darted off to the living room to catch her favorite afternoon cartoon, Rin followed Earn back into the kitchen.
“Do you want to help Mommy make Mama’s tea?” Earn asked, her voice soft and encouraging.
“Sure!” Rin replied eagerly, her eyes bright with anticipation.
Earn filled the kettle with water, watching the water splash against the sides as she explained, “Mama likes her tea just right. It has to be perfect temperature and taste, or else she won’t drink it! So, we have to make it just right.”
Rin nodded seriously, soaking in her mother’s words as she grabbed the teapot from the shelf. She helped Earn pour hot water over the tea leaves, watching the steam swirl up like tiny dancers in the air. “Do we put honey, too?” Rin asked, her brow furrowed in concentration.
“Of course! Just a little bit,” Earn replied, smiling as she added a touch of honey and stirred it carefully with a spoon. “Now, let’s see how it turned out.”
Earn poured small amount into a glass. She took a cautious sip and then offered the glass to Rin. “Here, taste it first!”
Earn watched from the counter, a knowing look in her eyes. Rin took a brave sip and instantly scrunched up her face. “Eww, yuck! It’s disgusting!” she exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously.
“Shhh! Don’t let your Mama hear you!” Earn hissed playfully, glancing toward the doorway to make sure Lada hadn’t caught on.
“Hear what?” Lada asked, stepping into the kitchen with a raised eyebrow, her expression playful yet suspicious.
“Nothing!” both Rin and Earn exclaimed together, their eyes wide with innocence.
“Oh, come on! You two are hiding something!” Lada laughed, crossing her arms and looking between her wife and daughter.
Earn exchanged a secretive glance with Rin, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips. “You know, this tea is actually Mama’s favorite,” she said, her voice low and conspiratorial. “That’s why I say it’s good! I want her to drink it, even if I have to pretend!”
“Really?” Rin asked, her eyes sparkling with glee as she realized they were in on the same secret.
Lada took a sip of the tea, and her smile widened, completely unaware of the truth. “Yup, this is perfect!” she declared, looking pleased.
Rin felt a bubble of laughter rise inside her, thrilled to share this little secret with Mommy. She grabbed her pencil and scribbled down another note on her paper, adding it to her growing list.
2. Love is when Mommy tastes Mama’s tea so that it’s perfect, even when it’s actually yucky.
The next day was Mama’s day’s off. Which meant Mama would spend the whole day at home with them. Or so Rin hoped. Lately, every time they were together, Mama’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing, and Rin couldn’t help but wonder if this would be any different. Mommy had explained, “It’s because Mama’s practice is still new, so she has a lot of work to do.” Practice. Rin wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. Was it like school? She made a mental note to ask Mama later.
Now, here she was, in her mothers’ room, watching Ran having a blast with Mommy’s makeup on the bed. Brightly colored lipsticks, eyeshadows, and blushes were scattered across the white sheets, and Rin was skeptical that Ran even knew what half of them were for.
Rin wrinkled her nose at Ran, watching her sister smudge pink lipstick all over her mouth. It was… messy. She looked kind of funny—like one of those clowns from the TV shows Mama didn’t let them watch. But also, deep down, Rin was jealous. She wanted to play too. But she couldn’t let anyone know that. She had to be cool, like the grown-ups.
“Pfft… you look like a ghost clown,” she blurted, feeling a little proud of her joke.
Ran’s face scrunched up, and she shot Rin an annoyed look. “Mommy, Rin’s being mean!” she whined, but then, in that annoying little-sister way, she smirked and added, “I know you wanna play too. You’re just shy.”
Rin’s cheeks burned. She wasn’t shy! Was she? She crossed her arms, unsure what to say, but Mommy must’ve noticed because she put down her magazine and moved closer to them on the bed.
“Do you want to try, Rin?” Mommy asked softly, like she always did when she knew Rin was thinking too hard about something.
Rin bit her lip. She didn’t want to mess up like Ran. She wanted it to look nice—like when Mommy made Mama look so pretty every morning. The way Mama always closed her eyes and let Mommy do her magic. Rin loved watching it. Mama always looked so calm, like she was dreaming or something.
“Y—yeah,” Rin mumbled, staring at the sheet. “But can you help me? Like how you do it with Mama?”
Mommy smiled. “Of course, sweetie.”
As she felt her mother’s gentle hands brush over her face, applying the makeup, she thought, hmm, this isn’t too bad. It was relaxing, especially with the soft breeze coming from the open window, the sound of rain pattering against the glass. She hadn’t even noticed when Mommy gently shifted her, laying her down so that her head rested in her lap. It felt nice, so peaceful, and before she knew it, she was listening to Ran chattering away, like she always did with Mommy.
Mommy listened to everything Ran said, like she always did, and Rin liked that. She’d heard people say she was like Mama—who was quiet but always listened—and that Ran was more like her Mommy, always talking. Maybe she got her listening skills from Mama after all.
A soft click made Rin crack open one eye, peeking toward the door. There stood Mama, holding her phone as if she had just snapped a picture of the three of them on the bed. Mama smiled, looking at the photo before slipping the phone back into the pocket.
Mama flopped onto the bed with a dramatic thud, making all of them jolt.
“I’m bored! All these phone calls are tiring me, I need my recharge,” Lada declared, spreading her arms wide across the bed.
Immediately, those outstretched arms were filled with Earn, Rin, and Ran as they piled onto her. What started as a hug quickly turned into a tickle war. First, it was Lada against all three of them, and then it became Earn and Lada against Rin and Ran, and soon, they all ganged up on Lada. Lada squealed, unable to handle the relentless tickles.
“Uncle! Uncle!” she cried, begging for mercy between the gasps of laughter, worried she might actually wet the bed from all the tickling.
Finally, everyone collapsed, breathless and giggling, sprawled across the bed. The rain still drummed outside, but inside, the only sounds were their heavy breathing and occasional giggles as they tried to settle down.
“I’m still bored.” Lada sighed dramatically. “Let’s do something.”
“Like what?” Earn chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t you see it’s pouring out there?”
Lada suddenly stood up, her eyes bright with excitement. “That’s it! Let’s play in the rain!”
Earn blinked at her wife, like Lada had just sprouted another head. This was not something Lada would suggest. Ever. Meanwhile, Ran squealed so loud, her excitement echoing even over the sound of the heavy rain outside.
“Are you serious?” Earn asked, still baffled.
“Yeah, why not?” Lada said, as if it were the most normal suggestion in the world.
With a shrug, Earn accepted the challenge, heading out of the room to help Ran find her raincoat. Ran’s excited voice was already calling her from her bedroom and Earn chuckled as she heard the scuffling of feet.
Rin sat on the bed, her tiny fingers fiddling with the edge of her dress as she watched Mama rummage through the closet. Rain pattered softly against the windows, but it didn’t feel soft inside her. It felt big, like a drum, louder and louder. She knew what came after rain—lightning. And that was what made her heart squeeze tight.
She looked over to the door where Mommy had gone to help Ran find her raincoat. Ran loved the rain, she’d squealed so loud earlier, but Rin’s feet wouldn’t move. The thought of going outside and feeling the cold, wet rain on her skin made her shiver. What if there was lightning too? What if it was loud and scary and, and, if it hit her?
“Ran, are you okay?” Mama’s voice broke into her thoughts, and Rin felt her eyes water just a little. She didn’t want to ruin everyone’s fun.
“I’m just… afraid,” she whispered, not even sure if Mama could hear over the rain.
“Afraid of the lightning?” Mama asked gently, sitting beside her. Rin nodded, her fingers still fidgeting. After she said that, Mama immediately gave her a big hug, and it made her feel a little better, but her tummy still had knots.
“You don’t have to be afraid, baby. There’s no lightning, just rain,” Mama said, kissing the top of her head. And just then, Mommy came back, holding Ran’s hand.
Rin peeked at Ran from inside of her mother embrace, who looked excited, even a little impatient. When Ran saw her scared twin, she smiled and said, “You can hold my hand, Rin! I’ll keep you safe!”
Mommy knelt beside them, on the floor by the bed, and added, “We’ll all be with you, love. No need to worry.”
Rin looked at the door, at the rain, and at her family. She was still a little scared, but something inside her felt braver. She nodded slowly, even though her tummy still felt funny. Mama held one hand, Rin held the other, and together they walked to the door.
“We’ll go slow, one step at a time,” Mama said, standing next to Mommy.
The first step into the rain was the scariest. The rain felt cold and tingly on her skin. She squeezed Mommy’s and Ran’s hands really tight, waiting for the boom of thunder or a big flash, but nothing happened. Just the sound of the rain and everyone laughing. She looked up at the sky, feeling the rain on her face, and her tummy didn’t feel as funny anymore.
Then, she felt Mommy squeeze her hand three times, their special signal. When she looked up, Mommy was smiling at her. That pretty kind smile made everything okay, like everything would be fine. She had nothing to be afraid of.
Rin took a big breath and stepped into the rain.
The rain felt funny on her skin, like little taps, but it wasn’t scary. The ground was soft and squishy under her feet, like the marshmallows she loved to put in the hot chocolate. She still held their hands for a bit, but then she wasn’t scared anymore. Without her even realizing, she had let go her mother’s hand.
Rin twirled around in the rain, her arms stretched out. The water splashed everywhere, and it made her giggle. Ran laughed too, and they both jumped in the puddles, splashing water everywhere. Mommy and Mama were laughing too, jumping in the puddles with them. Rin felt so happy, like she could do anything.
A little while later, while she was playing with a stick and the mud with Ran, she saw Mommy and Mama holding hands and smiling at each other. They didn’t say anything, they just stood there together, happy. It made Rin feel all warm inside, like a big hug from the rain.
She knew she would remember this forever. Because at that moment, everything was perfect.
Rin realized something then, as she looked at the rain around her. She was braver than she thought. Love made her braver.
Later, when she was lying in bed, listening to the rain outside, Rin smiled to herself.
3. Love is when playing in the rain makes you braver.
Rin sniffled.
Her body was all warm and achy as she lay bundled under her blankets.
She hated the feeling. The feeling of her damp clothes stuck to her skin because of all the sweat she had let out. Her head felt heavy, like it was full of cotton, and her nose wouldn’t stop running.
She blinked her sleepy eyes open, and the first thing she saw was Ran, right there beside her bed, her chin resting on the blanket that was tucked tightly around Rin.
Ran’s little face was all scrunched up, her brown eyes big and worried. “Rin?” she whispered, her voice soft and quiet, careful not to wake their mommies. “Are you awake?”
Even though her head hurt, Rin gave a tiny nod, barely visible from her place under the blanket. She tried to say something to Ran, but her voice came out all croaky, like a frog, so she just lay there, feeling miserable. Yesterday was so fun, with the rain, laughing, and splashing in puddles. But now she was paying for it. Sometime during the night, Mommy and Mama had realized she wasn’t feeling good. They had stayed with her all night, hugging her close and making sure she was comfy. Rin barely remembered most of it—she’d been so sleepy and fuzzy. But now they were gone, probably letting her sleep.
Except Ran. Ran had stayed.
“Why are you awake? It’s so early.” Rin asked her twin hoarsely. She peeked out the window where the sky was still dark, but she could hear birds chirping, so it must have been morning.
“Shhh… I’m gonna help you, okay?” Ran whispered, sitting up a little straighter, her face all serious. She fidgeted, like she was thinking hard about how to make Rin feel better. Then her eyes lit up. She grabbed Mr. Bunny, Rin’s favorite stuffed animal, with long, floppy ears that Mama gave her for her birthday. “Here, Mr. Bunny will keep you company,” she said, tucking it right next to Rin.
Rin smiled, even though her head hurt so much. Mr. Bunny was soft and nice, but what made her feel better was seeing Ran trying so hard.
Ran wasn’t done, though. She looked around the room, thinking, her lips pressed together in concentration. Then she had another idea. “I’ll get you some water!” she whispered excitedly, hopping off the bed. She hurried over the small table where their mommies had left a jug of water and a cup. Holding the cup carefully with both hands, she brought it over to Rin.
“Here, drink this,” Ran said, holding the cup out to Rin carefully.
Rin sat up just enough so that she could take a sip. She coughed a little, but the cold water felt so nice on her scratchy throat. “Thanks, Ran,” her voice still a little bit raspy.
Ran beamed, happy that she could help. “You’re welcome,” she said as she climbed back onto the bad, being careful not to mess up the blankets wrapped around Rin. She scooted close, her face still full of concern.
“You were really sick last night,” Rain said softly, resting her chin on Rin’s shoulder. “Mommy and Mama stayed with you the whole time. They were worried.”
“Yeah… I think I had a bad dream too.”
“Really? What was it about?”
“I don’t remember,” Rin said with a frown. “But then I heard Mama singing, and then… no more bad dreams. And I felt Mommy wiping my face with a towel. It was the best feeling in the world.”
“I feel yucky now, though.” she muttered, her voice small and tired.
“I'm sad that you feel like that... but I’m here, okay? I’ll stay with you, just like Mr. Bunny.” Ran nestled closer, wrapping her tiny arms around Rin’s shoulder.
Rin’s head still felt fuzzy, but thinking about last night made her feel warm inside. “Mommy and Mama were hugging me all night,” her voice quiet and tired, but there was a little smile on her lips now. “I kept waking up, but they were always there, holding me close.”
She sniffled again, but this time because she felt happy. Even though she was sick and yucky, her family had stayed with her.
“And now you’re here too,” she added, her eyes blinking up at Ran. “I like that you stayed.”
Ran nodded, and she gave Rin’s shoulder a little squeeze with her tiny arms. “Of course! I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t help you much with your homework, though.” Ran added after a while, probably remembering that they only had two more days before school started, and that Rin would most likely spend both days lying in bed.
“That’s okay,” Rin said with a shrug, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Because I think I have finished the list.”
Love is…
4. when Mama and Mommy hug me all night.
5. when Ran stays with me, when I’m sick from the cold.
“Is this what Rin has been working on these past few days?” Lada asked softly, careful not to disturb their sleeping daughters, who were nestled together on the bed. She held a piece of paper in her hand, the one she’d noticed lying on the side table.
“I knew she was worried about something,” Lada smiled as she read through the list. “But I didn’t realize it was about this.” The sight of her daughter’s handwriting brought warmth to her heart. It was adorable—really adorable. After everything she and Earn had gone through, all the procedures and struggles to bring them into the world, she still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have these two little miracles.
“Yeah, she was having a bit of trouble with this one homework.” Earn added from her spot at the edge of the bed, her eyes gaze never leaving their little girls. She chuckled softly, her swelling as she looked at them—one sprawled out like a starfish, the other hugging her twin tightly.
It had been a surprise to find Ran here. Ran, who wasn’t exactly a morning person, was usually still asleep in her own room at this hour. But here she was, refusing to be separated from her sister when Rin needed her. Normally, Earn would remind her about staying in her own bed, but seeing them like this, so closely connected, made her heart melt. She gently patted both their heads, her fingers running through their soft hair.
“You have to see Ran’s list.” Earn said, standing up and walking over to Lada. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumple piece of paper.
Lada couldn’t help but chuckle when she compared both list. They couldn’t have been more different. Their daughters may have shared the same face, but their personalities were worlds apart. Her heart swelled, her eyes misting as she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. She never imagine she would be here, with these beautiful children and the woman she loved standing beside her.
She had never thought happiness like this was possible, especially not after the dark days of their breakup years ago. But those days were gone now, and she couldn’t picture a future without her family.
Setting the paper down, Lada leaned in and kissed Earn gently. It was soft, sweet, and full of the love they had nurtured through all the ups and downs. When she pulled away, Earn’s eyes remained close.
“What was that for?” Earn asked, her lips curving into a small smile.
Lada rested her forehead against Earn’s and whispered, “I love you so much.”
Her hands came up to cradle Earn’s cheeks, her eyes shimmering with affection. Earn opened her eyes and responded, “I love you too.”
They stayed like that for a moment, sharing the quiet peace they had come to cherish.
Then Lada broke the silence with a teasing smile, “So, you think my tea is ‘yucky’?”
Earn’s eyes shot open, realization dawning on her face. She had been caught, thanks to their daughter’s list.
Lada laughed, her voice light and playful. “All these years, I never said anything because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But, to be honest, I hate that tea too!”
Earn joined in, laughing along with her wife. The moment dissolved into pure joy, the kind only they could share.