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Have you Seen Eddie?

Summary:

No but really, have you seen him?

AKA

Buck is drugged on the job and has zero filter.

Notes:

For the Day 10 Tropetember prompts: "Accidental Confession", & "In Vino Veritas (Drunk Confession/Drunk Dial)"

Work Text:

"Hey there Buckaroo, how you doing?" Hen asked, squatting down to shine the penlight in his eyes.

"Hen!" Buck cried cheerfully. "Have you seen Eddie?"

"Eddie's literally holding you up right now," Hen pointed out, grabbing his wrist to take his pulse.

"No, but I mean, have you seen him?" Buck persisted. "He's so pretty."

Hen snorted, and Eddie ducked behind Buck's shoulder to hide his face. "Yes, your man's very pretty," Hen said soothingly.

"He is!" Buck agreed happily. "And he's mine. You can't have him."

"I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I don't want him," Hen said with a smirk, carefully wiping up some of the powder on his face and putting it into two evidence baggies.

"Everyone should want Eddie!" Buck declared.

"I think you've forgotten the existence of lesbians and straight men." Hen said.

"Maybe," Buck pouted.

"How's it going?" Athena asked, squatting down beside them. Hen promptly handed over the first baggie.

"'Thena!" Buck cheered.

"He's definitely drugged," Hen said, pointing at the bag. "That's evidence for you, and the hospital will sample the second one to figure out exactly what the guy threw in his face."

"'Thena, have you seen Eddie?" Buck asked.

"I have," Athena said dryly.

"But like, not just that he's pretty — he's very pretty too — have you seen him with Chris. He's such a great dad," Buck gushed. "And a BAFF— BAMMM— BAMF firefighter! And—"

"Yeah, he's quite the catch, Buckaroo," Athena said, shooting Eddie a fond look. "You did good."

"I did?" Buck looked confused.

"Yep. You did a very good job snagging Eddie. Hearts broke all over the county when he married you."

"He's mine?" Buck asked incredulously. "I get to keep him?"

Hen and Athena burst into laughter, and Eddie tried to fight down his embarrassment. Buck just watched them, clearly not understanding. Part of Eddie really hoped that the memory loss aspects of whatever drug this was meant that Buck wouldn't remember this moment tomorrow, or he might die of embarrassment himself.

"Hen, the 133's bus arrived for the other vic. You ready to head out with him?" Bobby asked, joining the group.

"More than ready, Cap," Hen said, gathering up her kit and the evidence bag. "Come on Eddie, you can cuddle him in the back of the ambulance instead of the middle of the road."

Bobby helped Eddie pull Buck to his feet, where he was unsteady, but able to walk with a guiding hand. Unfortunately, that gave him a new target.

"Cap!" Buck had flipped back to cheerful. "Have you seen Eddie?"

"And on that note, I'm out," Athena said, heading back to the cluster of officers going over the rest of the details of the scene.

"I'm driving," Hen said quickly, stripping off her gloves. "I've already had this conversation enough times."

"I don't understand," Bobby said as they reached the ambulance and began to herd Buck inside.

"Have Athena explain it later," Eddie said quickly, since the others had abandoned him like traitors. He got Buck situated on the gurney while Bobby cleared away some detritus that was keeping the doors from closing properly. Buck watched him, apparently fascinated, until Bobby got the doors closed. Then he turned and, apparently, noticed Eddie for the first time.

"Eddie!" he gushed. "Have you seen Eddie?" Amid Hen's cackling laughter, Eddie let his head thunk back against the shelf. This was going to be a long ride.