Work Text:
Liu Qingge admits he was cruel in the beginning.
He taunted and ridiculed the boy in his grief. Spat cruel things at his crumpled, heaving form. Blamed him for Shen Qingqiu’s death - for Shen Qingqiu’s sacrifice to save a miserable, unfilial beast like him. Uncaring that it wasn’t true. Shen Qingqiu never saw Luo Binghe as undeserving- he wanted the world for the boy, loved him like Liu Qingge never knew - or believed - him capable of. Mourning him like a lover would, not like a Shizun grieving a fallen, favored disciple. It twisted Liu Qingge’s insides just to think of it.
Why all that for Luo Binghe? What made him so special when he’d known the boy for a handful of years. When he'd been nothing but cruel and spiteful to Liu Qingge for decades. Why him but not -
It didn’t matter. He never hated the child, not man but he was a threat. To Cang Qiong Mountain and the worlds beyond. Poorly trained, unregulated and unstable. He needed putting down, and without Shen Qingqiu to tighten his leash he was even more of a liability with each day.
These weren’t his proudest moments. His pride ached worse than his broken bones, or the sting of Xin Mo searing him deep into the muscle. He'd wanted to hurt Binghe the only way he still could.
To batter him down with words, sinking each letter into his bleeding heart as his own bled out with his own failure. To remind the boy of his hideous failure: that Luo Binghe was the cause of Shen Qingqiu's death and that it should have been him that took his place. To have died in the abyss where he belonged. It didn't matter in the end; Shen Qingqiu remained dead, and the shame he felt for abusing this boy - his shixiongs dearest disciple. This was no way to honor him.
They carry on like this for weeks, months. Years? Everything blurs into the same blood soaked fight until Liu Qingge's body starts to fail him. There's only so much his human body can take, golden core battered almost to non-repair. He knows death is coming and welcomes it.
He's so tired.
Luo Binghe couldn't be stopped; all his efforts had been pointless. Perhaps he can beg his Shixiong's forgiveness in the afterlife, should they ever meet again. He'd failed Luo Binghe too. Failed everyone.
Eventually, Liu Qingge stopped returning to Huan Hua Palace. His visits petering off from everyday to every other day. From once a week to every other month.
Bai Zhan Peak welcomes his return with quiet exaltation - their shizun had returned alive, having survived the maws of the wretched Heavenly Demon, Luo Binghe. No other human cultivator could claim the same. Zhangmen Shixiong greets him at the steps of Qiong Ding to pull him into a rare embrace, his eyes dim with grief as he took in the state of Qingge's battered form.
"Welcome home", he whispers, his tears dampening Liu Qingge's matted hair, "Please rest now, you've done your best."