Chapter Text
FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: evan, evan (real)
RATED ALL AGES
"oh my god," Evan said, looking at the man in front of him. he had thick luscious fluffy hair and an impeccably pressed suit. "Are you...?"
"Yes..." Real Evan said. "I'm you... but real..."
"But how can this be?" Evan gasped, for he was real too, wasn't he? Surely he was not a fake, a fictional character dancing to someone's tune?!
"No, I'm just you but like. Realistically depicted. I have been charged with tax evasion." Real Evan replied. "You can't avoid your taxes forever realistically. Oh and Eudora and I are divorced. "
"What??? WHY???" Evan splutters.
"Because our marriage is shit"
hold on, evan (the one that was not evan (real)) thought. if evan (real) and eudora were divorced, then what did that mean for evan (the one that was the one that was not evan (real))? did that mean......
evan (the one that was the one that was the one that was not evan (real)) didn't like where his mind was taking him. yes, objectively he was cool and could do sick backflips, but evan (real) was still the real evan (real). evan (the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was not evan (real)) shook his head.
"I can't believe I have to face the consequences of my actions," Evan said, distraught. "How about my relationship with Alex? Or Momosu? The academy?"
Real Evan looked at him critically. "I don't know if you're reasdy to hear this..."
"Tell me," Evan said, paling.
Real Evan looked down and sighed. "Actually... Momosu doesnt exist. Its real name is actually... Singapore."
"GASP" evan (not the real one) gasped. But although he gasped, somehow, he could believe it. It just sounded real coming from Real Evan. Could it be that everything sounded real when it came from him? Perchance. It was kinda giving him a crisis. He gaz
"My fucking god." Evan (fake) says. Like a faker. "My island has a different name? BS."
Minimal crisis ensues. Evan realises that his actions actually Mean something in another universe and he can't keep making children do unpaid labour. He has a breakdown. "FUCK!"
"I only left my son for 2 years for an overseas trip. Otherwise Eudora would have sued me for treason." Evan (real) says. "I am, objectively, better than you."
"WHAT???? HOW ARE YOU BETTER THAN ME??" evan (the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was not evan (real)) was unconvinced.
all evidence to the contrary aside, evan (real) could not potentially be better than him because "Singapore" was an objectively lame name.
he could come up with something better. hell, he could come up with something better in his sleep. yes, he thought about it now. he could indeed. what would it be?
evan (the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was the one that was not evan (real)) nodded his head. he had come to his conclusion.
"https://archiveofourown.org/works/33004900", he said.