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"Well, that worked out great. Don'tcha think so?"
Ranpo doesn't turn his head as he hears Dazai address him, because there's no need to. He doesn't need to. The tone of his voice gives away the expression on his face, what he's feeling underneath it.
"I'm not falling for bait that obvious unless it's got chocolates attached."
"Who said anything about bait?"
The older man's lips twitch into a slight frown. "If you thought you'd find a friend in misery here, don't bother. I'm not nearly as upset as I like to trick D- Shachou into thinking, most of the time."
Dazai's tone flattens. "Coulda fooled me."
"Judging by your reaction, I did already fool you."
When Ranpo glances over at Dazai as he says that, he notices a new scowl on his face.
"So what was with the reaction you gave back there?"
"This feels like a trap to get me to talk about my 'feelings', but luckily for me, it's not that deep, so you won't learn anything you don't already know."
Ranpo rolls his shoulders in a shrug. "I was just upset he hid it from me. He's been dodging me for almost two weeks, and then I don't even get told one-on-one?" He throws his hands up in a brief dramatic gesture, before letting his arms fall back to his sides.
Dazai stares at him. If he's feeling one way in particular, neither man present in the room can tell. "You mean to tell me you weren't at all bothered by this for anything serious?"
"I think your adoptive father you've established a mutual understanding of trust with and whom you've known as your father for over a decade suddenly deciding he can't trust you is pretty serious, actually, but that's a problem for me and the aforementioned father, not you," Ranpo deadpans.
"You know what I mean."
"I always do, so I'll answer the real question you meant to pose: you mean you're not upset that Shachou's in a relationship with the Don of the Port Mafia, and now everyone in this city's gonna know about it 'cause they're having a baby? No, I'm not. I never had any particularly strong feelings on or cared about Mori as a person beyond his role as the Don, and his part in the Tripartite Agreement, in the past, despite me successfully convincing him that I dislike him now because it's funny, and I love to laugh. Akiko redirected any feelings she hasn't let go of to other targets a long time ago, too, and we all know that if Shachou had any suspicions that Mori was using him to get her in the Port Mafia, he'd have figured it out a long time ago, and their relationship never would've made it to this point."
For just a moment, Ranpo's tone softens. "What I do care about, though, is my father. He's happier now than he's ever been before. I'm not nearly selfish enough to actually be mad about that, and I love being selfish."
The soft notes in his words disappear as soon as he lifts his head to turn his odd-eyed gaze towards Dazai again.
"What I wanna know, is why you, Dazai Osamu, needed me to explain all of this to you. Is the sex you're having with Mr. Fancy Hat we all met back there so incredible that you've lost your deductive skills entirely? Or are you letting your past cloud your perception of the present?"
"Don't."
Dazai's response is quiet. His eyes smolder with embers of an emotion neither of them want to put a name to, and they've gone dark as ash when Ranpo sees them.
Hopping off of the desk he'd propped himself up on, Ranpo sighs heavily, shoves his hands in his pockets, heading towards the exit of the building they'd had their joint meeting in less than an hour ago now. As he does, he speaks to Dazai once more:
"Honestly, even if I cared enough to get involved, I couldn't give you any good, sincere advice on how to deal with whatever problem you have with Mori, or yourself, or the Port Mafia, whatever. But what I can give you is a warning."
Ranpo pauses, back still turned to Dazai, whose gaze remains solidly on the back of his head.
"I won't let anyone try to make Dad feel like he's making a mistake in finally pursuing or protecting his own happiness, including himself. That means I won't make an exception for anyone else I know, either."
The front door closes shut, Ranpo taking all of the air in the front room with him, leaving nothing but the weight of his words for Dazai to breathe in.