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Chapter Text

The weakened Demon King started to intone another spell, but I didn't let him finish. "I'm finally the hero! Snipe".

I unleashed my spell.

"Uhhh?" As if time had slowed down, I saw a faint and pure, yet mischievous, smile on the Demon King's face. Then everything disappeared. Finally, I accomplished the objective given to me in this world.

Then, my vision started coming back. After my death, I probably will appear in front of the Eris… For the last time… maybe I'll tell her how much I liked her… maybe not… maybe simply a friendly goodbye… And will I get the chance to say goodbye to Megumin and Darkness… and Aqua.

"Mmm… WHAT?" I was still in the dungeon. Did some luck-based effect allowed me to survive? Was It maybe a hidden effect of Eris' blessing? Or maybe something related to sacrifice? "This is confusing". I looked around. No Demon King in sight, but there were definitely signs of the explosion though and the dungeon looked brighter than expected, probably an effect of the explosion. If only there was a spell to have such effect without killing everyone in the dungeon, now that would be useful.

"Wait!". Did Aqua lie to me about the reward of killing the Demon King? "Naaa, I'm probably jumping to conclusions". There is a chance that I need to go back to Aqua to get my reward and then…

"Oh well, I should teleport back to the others". While chanting the teleport incantation, something felt off. The dungeon not only seemed too empty but also comfortable and familiar. "Teleport".

As expected, when I appeared in the throne room, all the Demon King warriors were vanquished. Then I looked around, searching for the others.

"Oh, there… you.. are…"

"Uhhh?"

"Ehhh?"

"What?"

Then, we all said in unison. "What the hell is going on?"

As I stood there, stunned and extremely confused, I tried making sense of things.

"Aqua, when did you change clothes? And dark blue? Really? Are you stupid enough to do some party tricks during a fight?". Without giving her a chance to reply, I looked at Megumin, astounded. "Did Aqua do something to you too? Although that dark red does look good on you but would fit more a Demon King General than a Crimson Clan member". For some reason Megumin wasn't replying, just looking at me. Darkness looked the same and blushed a little when I ignored her. So, I continued looking around for the rest. Yunyun was helping Kyoya, but didn't move. Both of them, as well as Kyoya's party were also looking a me in confusion.

"Ok, what hell were you all up to while I fought the Demon King?". Suddenly, coming back to my senses a little more. "Oh, by the way, I defeated him, so you can all admire me, you new hero, the savior of…"

"Kazuma… what the hell did you do?!" Aqua jumped at me, knocking me onto the ground. While fighting off Aqua, Megumin came to her senses in the worst way possible. "That can't be Kazuma. Explos…". Suddenly, she got tackled by Darkness. "W-w-what are you doing Megumin?" Meanwhile, Yunyun, Kyoya, and his party were still standing there, reactionless.

Without a moment to spare, the door flew open and a bunch of the now-dead Demon King minions tried to enter. Then they stopped, looking at me. Damn it, now we were screwed. Not time to teleport and I was still trying to fight Aqua off. But… they just stood there, looking at me… Am I going to die right after becoming the hero that defeated the Demon King. "Just my freaking luck".

All the minions dropped to their feet. "All hail to the new Demon King!"

Ok… let's back up a second… "What?". As I pointed to myself and saw the minions nodded with their heads. "Whaaaaaaaat?".

Aqua stopped fighting, allowing me to at least sit up, then looked at me. "Kaaaaaaazumaaaaaaaaaa". 

Then, I felt Darkness' stare. "Emm, K-k-kazuma". That's my name.

And, I felt the gaze of Megumin. "Ka-su-ma". I know, I know how to spell it.

Then I realized that Yunyun, Kyoya and his party were not confused but horrified. I looked at myself. My clothes did become dark green. I looked at the minions, again. Pointed at myself, again. They nodded, again… "Whaaaaaaat?".

I was starting to connect the dots, so I pointed at Darkness and looked at the minions, questioningly. "A fine addition to the Demon King generals". Without a word, I pointed at Megumin and looked at the minions, questioningly. "Another fine general, my king". Still without words, I pointed at Aqua and looked at the minions, questioningly. "That's…"

BAM! Before I could confirm what happened to Aqua, a beam of light smashed into the room, from which a panicked Eris came out.

"Lady Aq… u… a…".

"Eriiiiiiisssssss!" Screamed a crying Aqua while jumping onto Eris.

"Auch auch auch. Lad-dy Aq-qua, you're hurting me". The moment Aqua released her, Eris moved back a few steps.

"Waaaaaaaa! Eris, what is going on?!"

Eris looked at each of us. "Emmm, it appears, hmmm, how to put it, that Kazuma became the new Demon King. It also appears that Darkness and Megumin became his generals. A-and, it se-e-ems that, Lady Aqua, you became a d-demon". Even I didn't know how to react. So, trying to digest what had just happened, we all stood there, in silence.

After a moment, I broke the silence. "Eris, was this supposed to happen?". Her look of panic and confusion said it all.

So, I was there, in the throne room. The minions had left under my command. On one side, Eris holding distance from Aqua, who stood there half-fainted and held upright by my two generals. On the other, the others had fainted, falling on top of each other as if they had dog-piled Kyoya. I approached them to see if they were alright. I could hear them murmuring stuff, as if they were in a nightmare. "C-c-can't be. M-m-megumin became a general before I could become chief". I felt sorry for her. "Now there is a Demon King that also plays dirty, the world is doomed". Hey! You're probably right, but still. "T-t-the world w-w-will now be terrorized by a panty-stealing Demon King". Mmm, not a bad idea. What am I saying? These two will spread accurate but out of context rumors about me, again.

I turned around and approached Eris. "Sooooo, what now? And how did you even find out that something happened, so quickly?"

"Actually, there was a tremor in heaven and no one knew what happened. When looking at this world, we were horrified because suddenly, the entire Axis cult began emitting dark energy, as if praying to a demon." After a short pause, Eris seemed horrified. "So I took a look at Arcanletia and s-s-saw them going crazier than usual. And then, I saw the hot springs had converted into a poisonous substance, in which all of the Axis follower bathed with pleasure." Ohhh, that explains the panic. "So I rushed to see Aqua as soon as possible and saw that Lady Aq-qua became a demon". Eris started crying.

Allowing Eris to calm down, I approached Aqua. Even if Darkness and Megumin had many questions, they were more preoccupied for Aqua, who was also murmuring something. "I became the same filth as Vanir… a d-d-demon". I felt sorry for her, kind of. Then I though, I definitely won't miss her bragging constantly about her goddessy powers…

Wait a second. "Eris".

"Yes Kazuma?".

"What will happen to the powers of Aqua?"

"Emmm, I think they inverted". Darkness looked at Eris, confused. "I mean, instead purifying water, she will make it undrinkable. Instead of purifying the undead, she will create more. Instead of entertaining people with her party tricks, she will be terrorizing them". I put a hand to my mouth, hiding my expression, thinking… this will be hilarious when she wakes up. "Eris, Darkness and Megumin, for her sake, please don't tell her anything about this. It will be too much of a shock".

Then, it clicked in Megumin's head. "Wait, does that mean my magic is different too?". She looked at me with googly eyes. "And that means you can increase my power even more if you have the same effects as the previous Demon Kings". Oh crap, as if she couldn't be more terrifying. Eris found a way to worsen Megumin's madness. "Meguimin, I think your explosion spell is now the Cursed Explosion". Not even a millisecond later, Megumin started creaming "I, Megumin, the most powerful mage in…". But then Darkness interrupted. "W-w-wait, then what about me?". Again, Eris continued worsening the situation. "Since you still believe strongly in me, it seems that your spells affect both monsters and people, so be careful with them. For example, if you use decoy, both monsters and humans will attack you". Almost instantly, Darkness was squirming with pleasure. This can't be happening. My party got even crazier. Damnit.

Having had a ridiculously eventful and tiresome day, we all decided to calm down and digest what had happened. Eris went back to Heaven. We teleported Yunyun to the Crimson Village with a note stuck on her saying she needs some rest. We teleported Kyoya and his two companions in front of the police station in Axel, hopefully so that they can help them. As my party, we quietly went back to the mansion, without letting anyone spot us. Then, went all to bed, hoping that we'll make sense of the next day.

Waking up around noon, I heard multiple people eating. I could barely hear that Megumin and Darkness were talking to someone. Did my hearing improve, now that I became the Demon King. I'll test it out later. In the meantime, I better go join them.

"You shouldn't do it, it will create mayhem and destabilize the entire country, if not the world". Ok, that sounds serious. Why is Darkness saying stuff like that?

"Good morning Kazuma".

"Morning Darkness and Megumin… and Darkness' father? To what do we owe the pleasure of a visit?". They seemed to think that I haven't heard part of their conversation.

"Thanks to scouts and mages, the news that the Demon King was defeated have already spread around the region. So, I rushed here to see if Darkness was alright."

"So very thoughtful of you". Still, it didn't add up with what I heard moments ago.

"Only to find out, from Darkness, that she became a Demon King general, while you became the Demon King". My face stiffened. "Which is why I pledge my full support to you and your party". Wait, what? "And why I want to make Axel your new fortress". Wait wait wait.

"Father, I'm telling you we don't need that and it will have major repercussions everywhere". Ohhh, that's what it was about. Wait, still, this is crazy.

"A father has to do everything to help his children, so I won't take a no for an answer". Ok, this is getting out of control.

"Wait a moment sir, you said that the news traveled around already?".

"Well, yes. In fact, it…"

Suddenly, the door flies open and Yunyun appears. "Megumin, there is trouble!". What now? What could possibly be worse that the destabilization of the region if not the world? "This morning, when I tried to explain to the Crimson Clan what happened, they misunderstood and think that Kazuma enslaved you". Don't tell me. "So they started making preparations to hunt Kazuma down". Oh shit. This is bad. This is really bad.

Megumin turns to me. "Kazuma, what do we do now?".

BAM! A beam of light smashed into the room, from which Eris came out. Déjà vu? However, this time she looked extremely tired. I approached her. "Eris, a restless night?". She nodded heavily.

"Kazuma, how is Aqua doing"

"No idea". I looked at Megumin and Darkness. "I checked on her recently… she still looks traumatized".

"Son what's up Eris, any news?"

"Well, how should I put it… The daughter of the previous Demon King found out that Aqua was in your party, and thinks that the Axis Cult has something to do with this. So much so, that her and her followers started praying to me". Now this is chaos.

"And Kazuma, there is something else". I looked at Eris and tilted my head. "Princess Iris was imprisoned by Claire". Now this is going too far. "Apparently, when Iris found out that you became the Demon King, she wanted to support you". My little sister, how dare they. "And now, there is fighting within the empire". Hopefully Iris is fine. I have to save her first.

Suddenly everyone felt quiet. All were looking at me. Do I have something on my face? Wait, they are looking at something behind me. What now? I turn around.

"Nyaaa. Good morning my love". A cat-girl approached me and hugged me. This feels nice, finally. Wait, who is she?

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Everyone in the room had the same reaction.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her away from me. "Hey mam… lady… girl… whatever… who are you?". I suddenly felt a violent stare from Darkness and Megumin.

"Oh, I'm… well, that girl over there called me Chomusuke. I'm the evil Goddess of Violence".

"…"

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?"

Megumin suddenly jumped. "Can't be. You were sealed. And you didn't look like that. Who are you? And what is that about you loving Kazuma?"

"Oh, well, the new Demon Lord came and touched me, releasing me from the seal. He was so tired that he simply went to bed". I can't remember much from last night. "Then I slept next to him all night, he was so warm and radiating so much evil energy". I think Darkness and Megumin will murder me. "As for the looks, I took it based on the Master's overwhelming desire to have a cat-girl". Yup, I'm dead. "Every time, he played with me in my cat form, he couldn't stop thinking about it". I felt a stare of disgust from Darkness and Megumin. "Finally, he's the Demon King, of course I would love him, as all Evil Goddesses would". Mmm, maybe it isn't so bad.

So this is how my life got turned around… again…

Chapter Text

Here I’m siting... Rather comfortably... My hand patting the head of a cat-girl, which says it is the goddess of violence... All while being observed with complete disgust by the rest of my party and suspiciously with a more intrigued look from Darkness’ father and Eris. Let’s hope I’m misunderstanding them.

“So...”. I thing is need to break the silence of this completely and certainly inadequate atmosphere, in which I’m clearly not in the wrong.

“Let’s recap the situ-“. “Good morning”. A sound of pure joy and happiness, opposite to the atmosphere, reverberated through the room. Almost forgetting not only the atmosphere but everything else that happened recently, everyone seemed in shock. I was shocked and was certain that I looked shocked. Aqua entered giddily the room. Wasn’t she supposed to be traumatized?

“Aqua, are you alright?” I had to make sense of this, or were we imagining things?

“Yes, I had a really crazy nightmare, but now it is a good day for some awesome party tricks”. I see, her mind broke down and suddenly she made herself think it was simply a nightmare. But... I suddenly jumped of my seat.

“Not, yet”. I can’t barely keep my face straight. I mean, I’ll let her have her last moment of happiness... Alsooo... It would be more hilarious for her to unleash her new skills with more people around. By the way, we haven’t tested any new skills yet. Maybe later.

Ok, back to topic. Let’s start be the simplest, so I turned to Darkness’ father.

“Mr Ignis, I can’t have you be involved with all of this”. Damn, I sound so heroic.

“I’m afraid it is too late”. What do you mean???

Darkness slowly turned to him.

“What do you mean father?”. With an unusual prideful smile, Ignis said something too absurd to have happened within a few days since the defeat of the previous demon lord.

“Not only me, but the entire city of Axel has agreed with this”. This can’t be. “Many changes have been done already”. I’m afraid to ask. “You should go around the town, while I have many more things to arrange, so I’ll take my leave”. I have questions... But... But... I think I’ll keep them for later.

Eris was looking at Aqua, as if to save into memory the last moment of Aqua’s happiness before reality hits her in the face. Then, Eris turned towards me.

“There is also a chaos in heaven I need to attend to”. She vanished before I could ask... WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW. From Axel becoming my fortress to the Crimson village planning to hunt me down... Let’s forget that for now. I need to save Iris. So...

“Let’s go to the adventurer’s guild”. Then I simply walked out.

So... Without thinking... I walked out and everyone simply followed. Buuut...

“Kazuma, I know you’re quite a degenerate...” I wonder why is she blushing while trying to talk seriously. “... But do you really need to carry her like that?”

Carry who? So I looked down. There, in my arms, the goddess of violence, purring happily. Mmmh... Mhhhh??? MMMHH!!! “She’s just a cat”. I barely made an effort to hold her. Was this the need strength I got from becoming a demon lord? Probably.

Wait. “What are all these red banners all over the town?”. I looked at Megumin, she simply ignored me. I looked at Darkness, she tried to imitate Megumin, only to run into a wall. So I looked at Aqua, giddily following us, singing something and ignoring reality.

While walking, we spotted a group of people talking and Aqua run to them out of the blue.

“Let’s cheer them up”. The usual thing Aqua loved doing. Buuuuuut... “Let me show you a new party trick.” Aqua smiling, the group of people eagerly waiting for her usual tricks. Me, I put down the cat-girl and attentively watched what was about to happen. “Here”. Yes yes. “And like this”. Indeed indeed. “Voila!”. At that instant, some in the group fell down while the other screamed and ran away, not even having the strength to try an help their comrades.

Pfffffffff... I could barely contain my laughter.

“Waaaaaaa”. Aqua already reached me and started shaking me by the shoulders.

“W-w-w-what is going on Kazuma?”. I took a deep breath. “Maybe something happened to that group and the party trick reminded them of it.” It seemed to calm her down.

“Aqua, you need remember tha...”. I quickly approached Megumin, almost in an instant. Mmmmh, was this the speed the demon lord can reach? Cool. “Megumin, let her be happy a little longer, for her sake.

“But Kazu...”. Now it was Darkness. “Darkness...”. I took another deep breath. “I don’t care”. And she squirmed a little, forgetting about Aqua. 

“I... I don’t get it”. I instantly approached Aqua. “Don’t worry, it happens”. With another deep breath. “Let’s find a much bigger group to try it on next”. And she was giddy again.

I grabbed the goddess of violence back into my arms, she started purring again, I felt more unsavoury looks towards me and we continued walking towards the adventurer’s guild.

“I’ve got to say, the city looks much more badass right now”. I nodded a few time to myself, while receiving no replies from my party.

“Darkness...”. She almost jumped as if suddenly feeling responsible for something. “Your father has some good taste in demonic decor”. A few moments passed before Darkness finally talked.

“I.. I... I have to say that yes. But, I never thought he had it in him”. So we continued walking.

We reached the adventurer’s guild. I opened the doors, only to enter a state of shock and awe.

“K-k-kazuma, what is going on?”. Coming back to my senses, there is only one escape route.

“What do you mean?” I asked while turning towards her.

“What? As if I did have to describe it”. I kept a blank stare towards her.

“Why are they dressed like that?”. She pointed to on of the receptionist. As I looked in the same direction I saw Luna, dressed in some type of light, very light, Gothic dress. She looked at us, only to quickly turn around to continue her work. Was it me or she was blushing? I turned towards Megumin and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. So I turned to Darkness.

“Miss Lalatina, please tell me how to thank your father properly”.

After a small altercation, we approached Luna to ask for more details, details that Darkness’ father skipped on before leaving in a hurry.

“Miss Luna, what exactly changed in this town since we killed the demon lord?”. I mean, since I became one, but that’s just a detail.

“Sir Ignis didn’t explain it to you?”. I shook my head. “Oh, I see”. She seemed uncertain where to start. “The theme and decor, as you have seen, was all from Wiz’ shop”. How did the manage to do this so quickly?. “The church, sort of.” Sort of?. “You should go see it”. I’m not sure I should. “Mmmh, the food and drinks, as you’ll soon see”. This makes no sense. “And the types of entities in the village”. Entities?. Then she smiled, as if suggesting that it was all she wanted to say.

Not knowing what to even ask, we simply sat at a table and ordered the meal of the day. Megumin and Darkness were both talking about what Luna said. So I looked at what Aqua was up to. She was still giddy. And yet, she was looking around.

“Aqua, are you looking for someone?”. She happily shook her head, as if she was a kid... A kid ready to cause trouble... Something is wrong. What is she up to?

“Here you have, my lord”. The server was holding four plates, although we couldn’t see what was on them. I kinda like the sound of that though. My lord. Heh, My lord. Sounds cool, I like it. “Enjoy, my lord”. Heh. Hehehehe. Then, as if I had come back to reality, what I saw made no sense. Only a few seconds ago the plates were placed in front of us, but now not only the food was gone, but...

Megumin was barely able to rest on the chair, her belly was visibly overfilled, she had leftovers around her mouth and was mumbling something like “this isn’t a type of explosion I want to make. Curse you Kazuma”... Mmmh, oookay...

Meawhile Darkness’ head was laying on the mostly finished plate, mumbling “this is so... So.... Soooo”, but not managing to finish the sentence... Mmmh, oky doky...

And Aqua... Aqua was simply siting normally, which seemed impossible with the belly she had, only to say to me “what? Is there something on my face?”. I nodded. “Yes, but don’t worry about it”.

What was going on? So I looked at my plate. It looked heavenly, out of this world, tempting beyond anything I had experienced in my life. Instinctively and uncontrollably, I grabbed it, lifted it and simply let it slide gloriously into my mouth... I see... Looks like the demon lord and those under their influence have a bigger and more aggressive appetite. As I almost lost consciousness and while my brain could still process the taste of that meal... I only managed to let two words slip out of my mouth... “Worth it”.

After regaining or composure, since apparently the digestion is accelerated too, we had to find out what happened to the church.

While approaching the closest church, it was clear that a much larger number of people were attending it. I wonder why...

Indeed, indeed this makes sense, although not really. The church was run by the succubus that were previously hiding at secret locations in the city. Feeling a pitiful look from my party members, I turned to them. “You’re blaming me for this?”. They all nodded. “We’ll, not really, but still, you have to say that the church is now more popular...”

I approached one of the succubus at the entrance.

“To put it shortly, Sir Ignis deemed it reasonable due to you, my lord Kazuma, becoming a demon lord”. Ignis certainly has his mind in the right place, I think, so I turned to Darkness.

“Please thank your father properly”.

After another altercation and Darkness having calmed down, I turned to the succubus again.

“I’m surprised the women of the city agreed to this though?”. A strange smile appeared on the succubus face.

“Well... How to put it... Sir Ignis said that otherwise there would be a high chance that my lord Kazuma would not only steal their panties in public...”. HEY! What?. “... But also would curse them to not be able to wear any panties for an entire month”. I have a lot to learn from him.

Having had those clarifications, we decided to go to Wiz’ shop. Clearly they knew something.

- - -

While walking, a girl intercepted us. I knew her, she was previously a nun of the church we just visited. She approached my quietly and whispered to my ear.

“My lord, If... If you miss the church... You could come visit us sometime”. Then she gave me a ticket. It looked very similar to the succubus tickets I used before. I looked at her and she whispered to me. “You can always come in secret to pray with us or confess”... I see... The world was upside down. I gave her a gentle smile, then she smiled and left. 

We kept walking towards Wiz’ shop.

There are too many things happening. The city has changed, and a lot at that. We haven’t really tried any of our new skills, especially the explosion crazed mage...

“Kazumaaaa”. Don’t tell me. “I-I-I haven’t launched an ex-explosion in a while”. Let’ me guess. “And it is starting to go out of control”. Right on the money. “W-w-what do I do”.

As I turned to her, I saw her staff not only starting to be overwhelmed by a red fire, but it had a violet tint... Ahhh, the cursed explosion...

“Wait, c-c-can’t you hold it until at least we get out of the city?”. She looked at me and her crazed eyes told me everything I needed. Hold on, as a demon lord, I can do a group teleport, lets try it. Think... THINK... WHERE TO?... Whatever, anywhere as long as it is away from the city.

“Teleport”.

Wait... We are still surrounded by houses. There are people looking at us. WAIT, are those red eyes? Oh no, no no no no.

“Let me teleport to another loca...”

“CURSED EXPLOSION!!!”. The entire location got instantly levelled to the ground.

“Teleport”.

We were back to Axel. I instantly dropped to my knees.

“Now I have pissed the Crimson village people even more”

“Kazuma...”. I bet Aqua and Darkness, who didn’t teleport with me and Megumin, had a few questions. “What happened?”. Let’s... Let’s just ignore the situation for now.

“Nothing, it was a beautiful explosion, isn’t that right, goddess of violence?”. Still in my arms, she purred happily.

“Hey, I glad you liked my explosions, but some help here”. Darkness took her on her back.

Finally, we arrived to Wiz’ shop. We entered and were received by the most proudly demonic smile in existence.

“Welcome my lord. Lord Kazuma. Lord or perversion. Lord of Luck. Lord of mayhem. Lord of p...”.

“Enough”. I had to stop him. “First, how the hell did you manage to help change the city in such a short time?”. His smile grew even bigger.

“I saw potential in you, so I prepared for months in advance”. No... Freaking... Way...

“You saw it coming?”

“Perhaps”. This little demon.

“By the way, I also have the decor and items needed for the religious festivals you have thought about since you saw the new church in town”. I turned to my party to make it look like I was clearly not thinking of that so deeply.

“Kazu-trash” said all of them in unison.

“You’re wrong”. They were still looking at me like if they were looking at trash. “It was simply a passing though”. Their expressions didn’t change.

“Kazuma!” A happy and soothing voice interrupted our standoff. It was Wiz. “My lord!”. I definitely like that she calls me like that. “How do you like the decor over the entire city, Vanir had some really amazing products in stock”. I gave her a great thumbs up. “And the changes to the city that Vanir convinced Sir Ignis to propose?”. Ehhh? I looked at Vanir and Darkness had already rushed to him.

“How could you? How could you?... Now my family will be remembered as demonic perverts!”. So I gave great thumbs up to Vanir too.

After everyone calmed down, Vanir quietly and suspiciously approached me to whisper in my ear.

“This one is on the house my lord.” I looked at him confused. “Haven’t you wondered why after defeating the demon lord...”. You’re scaring me. “Why a certain goddess didn’t go back to heaven”. Oh god. “And, why didn’t you get a heavenly reward like a reincarnation?”. Oh my god.

So things are more confusing than I thought...

Chapter Text

“HOW... Just how could I have FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT!!!”.

My party stopped their rummaging through the new items in store and looked at me in complete surprise, while Wiz looked confused and Vanir was smiling demonically.

“Those bastards lied to me”.

Without even turning towards Aqua, I lifted my hand and pointed at her. “Aqua...”. I pointed down, right next to me. “Here...”. I moved my hand slightly up and down. “Now...”.

“Okay okay”. Aqua was too giddy. “So it goes like this”. Since when did she listen to me?. “And like this”. Wait, what is is doing? WAIT!!!. “And voila!”. I didn’t move and Aqua seemed shocked, as if something had gone wrong.

“Incredible, Lady Aqua”. Wiz?.

“Magnificent, Lady of reckoning”. Vanir?.

Ehhh?

“Seeeeeeeeee”. Aqua already had thrown herself at me. “See Kazuma, my tricks are still amazing”. Ohhh, I get it now, only humans receive fear and terror from her party tricks. “Even if they are some lowly demons, they appreciate my amazing party tricks”. At least she’s happy... For now.

Hold on, that’s not what I wanted her to come here for.

“Aqua, I killed the demon lord, no?”. She nodded a few times.

“Yes you did”.

I got closer to her ear. “Then want happened about you going back to heaven and me reincarnating in Japan?”. She looked completely dumbfounded.

“It... It is... It is true...”. As per tradition, she grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me. “WHY KAZUMA... WHYYYYYYYYY?”.  Felt my party staring at me.

“Kazuma, stop toying with poor Aqua”. If only you knew Megumin. Sigh.

“True, toying with me. YEAH, you’re toying with me”. Ehhh? What is Aqua talking about. Then, she giddily went to check more items around the shop. I guess she broke down again.

So as usual, lots of confusion and chaos. I’ll let her be, for now. Also, I’ll talk with Eris about this later.

“So Wiz and Vanir, what will you be doing now that Axel has become my fortress and I the demon lord?”. They looked at each other, then at me, then at each other again. They started laughing.

“You’re so silly my lord. We’ll make a barrier around the city and keep it up for you”. Really?

“But Wiz, didn’t you want to leave all of this in the past?”. She looked confused.

“Yes, my lord, but you’re different, I’m certain that you want to do a lot of good in this world. You took out the previous demon lord after all”. It makes and doesn’t make sense at the same time. How can she think that a demon lord can do good stuff in this world? Anyways.

“What about you Vanir?”. Hey made a gesture referring to money. “I still have some stock to sell, especially for the religious event”. Damn you, you persuasive and convincing demon. 

“Kazutrash”. I know, I know.

So to summarize... I still... Know nothing... About what is going on... Nevertheless, I have to save my little sister Iris at all costs. That should be my priority. Whenever Eris comes to meet us again, I remember to ask her about the endgame situation.

BAM!

“There you are Kazuma”. Mitsurugi alone entered the shop, while drawing out his sword. “I won’t let this world go crazy under your influence”. Crazy? That’s a bit much.

“Cra...zy? Kazuma, how crazy you want this world to get”. There was only one proper answer to that. “Keep asking questions, and you’ll be the first to get a taste of it”. There, Darkness was squirming... so she won’t bother us.

“Musurigi, are you certain that you want to fight me?”. Mitsurugi stopped.

“At least don’t mess my name, damn it”. Heh.

“Not only you’re facing the demon lord of this world, but also in his fortress and surrounded by five of his most precious generals”. I made a pose and noticed Megumin blushing, as she does when she’s praised, while Wiz seemed a little embarrassed, very cute, and Vanir... Vanir was... blushing?... Why... Is... He... Blushing... Anyway.

“More importantly, I have demo... I mean lady Aqua by my side too”. Mitsurugui grit his teeth. “Aqua, show him”.

Strangely receptive, she approached.

“Like this. Like that. And voila!”. I laughed preemptively, knowing what would happen. But, to my surprise he stood there, unshaken. Quite incredible for a looser.

“Did you like my party trick?”. Strange, he didn’t reply to Aqua. Then he simply fell to the group. PFFFFF... I laughed even harder. He was in such a shock that he lost consciousness while standing.

“Kazumaaaaa”. Yes yes, that’s my name. “What happened to him?”.

I put my hand on Aqua’s shoulder. “I think he loved it too much”. I nodded harder than usual. “If he loves it so much, make sure to show him your best party tricks every time you see him”.

As Aqua continued bothering Vanir giddily, I heard Darkness squirming. “Kaz-z-zuma, you’re such a demon”. But then, Darkness was shocked, which in turn shocked Megumin.

“I just realized... I’m already at the mercy of the demon lord... And...”. Darkness looked completely confused. “And my dream of being tortured the the forces of the demon lord... Just... Just... Won’t happen”. Now she looked deeply saddened by the realization. This pervert. 

“Worry not... I’ll make sure your name will be remembered for a thousand years as the one who planned the the most degenerate religious festival in the history of mankind”.

She started moving aggressively towards me. “How...”. She seemed dizy. “Dare...”. She seemed to struggle to walk. “You...”. She fell down. “Ahhh... Damn you Kazuma... Ahhh”. As if I’ll let her be. “It is my lord, you understand?”. After a few more deep breaths, she fainted.

Enough for today. “Let’s go back to our home and get some rest”. I grabbed Darkness by her hand in order to drag her home.

“Yes, my lord”. That was unexpected. It was Megumin, happily calling me is such a way. I wonder why.

So we went to sleep.

What a nice dream I’m having. The kingdom in ruin and me holding Iris in my hands, as her saviour. Wait, why in ruins? I bet I can do it without so much damage. I could sneak in or something. What a strange dream. I hear some murmurs. Mmmmh? Why is everything suddenly turning into a violet-red fire?.

BAAAAAAM!.

I felt a ridiculously powerful blast. I’m barely opening my eyes, but why can I move?.

“WHAT THE HELL!!!”

I saw Darkness picking up Megumin, to put her on her back. Did she just pop an explosion?. I looked around. “Why are we outside the city?”. Then I looked at myself. “Why am I rolled into a mattress and wrapped with cord?”.

“UN...”. I felt lots of energy burst inside me.

“UNACCEPTABLE!!!” I broke through the restraints and stood up.

“Good morning Kazuma”, Darkness and Megumin said in unison while looking around, away from my eyes, as kids that were trying to hide something they did... As if you could hide that massive freaking explosion.

“Good morning my ass, what the hell did you do?”.

“Well, you see...”. Megumin was speaking in a childish tone. “I felt how much more powerful was my explosion thanks to your demon lord boost, so I wanted to do it again... And... And... The boost only works when you’re nearby”. You little...

“You maniacs! We have so many other troubles to solve, like saving Iris... doing something about the Crimson psychos... saving Iris... Making sure the Axis cults doesn’t go about of control... Saving Iris... Preparing a religious festival... And...”. Oups. “Kazutrash”.

So we went back to the city.

I went to open our home’s door. Hopefully Aqua didn’t go out terrorizing humans by herself... I don’t want to miss that.

“Kazuma, guess what?”. I really don’t want to know. “I looked through my skills and among the new skills that appeared, I found an amazing new skill”. Oh, for once she’s useful in reminding me to do so too. “It is the Surprise Party Skill”. Of course it is. “Once a day, I can pop up an instantaneous and super powerful party trick”. That... That... That is stupid... “I can’t wait to show it to Katsurugi”. PFFFFF.

“I would love to see that too, Aqua”. Can’t wait.

So I went to my room while the girls went to discuss what we should eat. Shouldn’t a demon lord have a fancier room? Whatever.

Let me see, what are my new skills.

Self Boost is a passive ability that increases the strength and the area of effect of my skills. Interesting. It would work well with stuff like create water or ice, but I’m not sure how something like snipe would have an area of effect. I’ll have to try.

Power Boost is a passive ability that increases the strength of my subordinates within a range of 20 meters. So that’s why Megumin and Aqua dragged me to make some cool explosions.

Resistance Boost is a passive ability that increases my resistance to all attacks. Cool.

Raw Strength is a passive ability that improves my physical strength. So that’s how I could carry the goddess of violence so easily... Wait, where is she now? Damn, I bet she’ll come back to us soon.

Speed is an activated ability that boosts significantly the speed. So that’s how I could move so fast at times. Nice. I wonder what is it’s limit, like if I could look at something or enter a room quickly enough to not be noticed. I will definitely test it out.

Raw Magic is a passive ability that increases my mana multiple folds. Now that’s awesome.

Teleportation is an activated ability that let’s me teleport four people in total to any location I desire as long as I remember it properly. I need to practice that, in order to not make the same mistake as I did with the Crimson village.

Let’s see, what else...

“Knock knock”. It was Chris, at the window, so I let her in.

“Chris, I mean Eris, why haven’t you come back earlier? Were still in such a confusion here”.

“Well, let’s say that for now, I shouldn’t, I mean, I can’t come back in my...”. She sobbed a little. Suspicious.

“Heavenly... Form”. What happened? Maybe I shouldn’t pry.

“So did you mange to make more sense of what is going on?”

“No really”. She sighed a little. Something is definitely off. “It is above the level of Aqua or mine”. She sobbed a little again. “I even go scolded by our supervisor”. How does that even look, i wonder”. A moment of silence passed. “When Aqua and I got assigned to this world, the demon king was already there, so we never knew how he had gotten to that position”. Again, in the end, we know nothing. “And my supervisor isn’t willing to say anything, simply saying that I have to deal with it”. Another sob. “She... She never acted that way with us”. Eris was clearly saddened.

“What about my promise when I achieved the mission?”

“Well, I was told that it didn’t apply in this situation...”

“What... the... HELL!!!”. I can’t believe it, those liars. “What am I supposed to do?”. Seriously. “What? Am I to stay in this world... And... wait... to... be... defeated?”. That wouldn’t make sense, at least I hope not.

“Emmm... Kazuma... Why are you smirking like that?”.

“Tell your supervisor the following”

“Calm down Kazuma, you’re scaring me”. She actually looked terrified.

“If they want a demon lord... They’ll get one”

Chapter Text

“Kazuma... W-w-what do you mean by that?”. Chris was panicking

“Calm down Chris...”. She didn’t calm down at all.

“Anyways, I need to go test my skills first...”. She gave a nod as acknowledgement. “Then, I’ll go rescue Iris...”. Chris nodded again, although with a little bit of fear in her eyes. “Then, I’ll destroy the entire world, as any proper demon lord should”

“KAZUMAAAAA!!!” Sniff sniff. Oups, I teased her too much.

“Relax, I was toying with you”. Although not exactly. One way or the other, I had to do something.

I definitely need to find what she is hiding, but priorities first, to save Iris... I mean test my skills and the skills of my party, then save Iris and then destroy the world, hehehe. Moreover, I didn’t want to start a commotion right away, me being the new demon lord, I couldn’t simply go there and talk.

“Chris, I need your help. Tonight, we rescue Iris, together.”

“Okay, I’ll gladly help but promise me you won’t try to destroy this world.”

“I promise. I promise that I wont... destroy... the world.” She looked at me with suspicion, but still chose to trust me, apparently. Then she left the same way she came.

“Damn, she’s such a good thief that she does sneaky stuff like this during the day”.

It was around lunch so I wonder what were the girls up to. We should eat and test our skill on the giant toads. Those should be easy for us, now that I’m the demon lord and the three became my kinda trusted generals.

Sigh.

“Let’s see what they are up to? Weren’t they going to prepare something”.

While going down to the kitchen, the smell was increasing getting better and better. It seemed that they had already prepared some tasty food. So much so that I started drooling.

“Ehhh. Why is the door locked?”. So I knocked. “Is everything alright in there?”.

“D-d-don’t... co... me... In...”. Ehhh, why?

“What are you hiding?”. I started pushing hard enough and the locked door began breaking. Hehe, they seriously thought this would stop the demon lord?

“Noo... N.... Noooo”.

I was shocked... Completely out of breath... I looked like a crime scene, a massacre...

“Oh, the humanity...”

There they laid, not only completely out of energy but clearly weighted down by some overfilled bellies. Food leftovers and sauce sprayed over the the entire kitchen, everything that managed to escape their vicious mouths.

As my breath started coming back. “PFFFFFF.. HAHAHAHA”

“Don’t look... Please don’t look... My femininity...”. Sure.

“Says the resident loli”. I immediately sensed her fury, but that fury still couldn’t manage to lift her body in that state.

“My... My... Knighthood... My elegance... My respect...” Sure, sure.

“As if you had any of those”. I also felt some fury emanating from her, but in the end she only managed a small squirm... I guess that I know which side of her won that battle.

And...

“Aqua... Aqua...”. She didn’t respond, so I approached her. “Aqua...”. Mhhh. “Aqua... I think this is a good opportunity to tell you I finished your booze”

Shwak.

“Hey!”. She grabbed my foot, and was holding it with unimaginable strength. “L-let go Aqua”.

“You... Youuuuuuu”.

“Hehehe”. She can’t do much in such state.

Uhhh? She was mumbling something, but I couldn’t really understand it.

Pshhh... Pshhh... Pshhh... PSHHHHHHHHHHH!

If felt something... Something I really didn’t like...

“What is wrong with you, Aqua?!?!?!

“Hehehe”. She almost seemed proud of herself... This demon.

“PFFFF”. Damn, the other two were watching too.

“Aqua, how dare you to launch a party trick in my pants... Now it looks like I pissed my self”.

“He... He... He...”. Grrrr. I’ll later find a way to get back at her.

I think I’ll eat later, by myself. I can’t let them get back at me for this... Well, now that they are back to normal, we can finally go on with the plan.

“Ok, let’s forget what happened and move on”. Grrrr, they were still giggling.

“W-whatever, we need to go practice our new skills and how my passive skill affect yours”.

“Yes... Kashuma”... Come on Megumin. She can be so cruel.

“I fully agree...”. Since when does Aqua agree on anything I say. “Lord Kashhhhhhhhuma”. I... Will... Make... Them... PAY!

“Ummm”

“No!”. I interrupted Darkness and pointed at her. I won’t let her add on to the farce. “Don’t you dare to say anything remotely related to it”

Darkness looked at me. She looked embraced by her thoughts.

“Shure”.

“DAMN YOU ALL!!!”

“HAHAHAHA”. Megumin and Aqua couldn’t hold it any longer.

We regained our composure and agreed to go and test out our skills. So, we went to the giant toad fields, outside Axel.

“This brings back memories”

“It sure does”

“But this time, we aren’t afraid... Hehehe... We are way more powerful now”. Megumin was remembering her explosion of this morning. “Much more powerful”.

Crack!

“There is one”. A giant toad broke out of the ground, not too far away from us.

“Ok, I’ll try my range skill first”.

I lifted my bow, placed in an arrow. “Let’s how much more damage I make”

“Snipe”. The arrow flew out.

To me, it seemed no different than usual, but...

“AHHHHHH”. Bang!

I looked behind me, where the girls were standing, and now they weren’t there anymore. They flew a few meters back. “Wow”. Apparently my snipe ability was too strong.

I quickly looked towards the giant toad.

BOOOOOM.

“The toad... It exploded...”. I slowly and calmly put the bow down. “Maybe I should be careful with this one form now on”.

Crack. Another giant toad came up near the one I just destroyed. It probably felt the hit.

“Let me try Kazuma”. Aqua was up already. “This time I can do it”. Then she ran off to the toad. Is she stupid? She’s trying her God Punch again. Well maybe this time it will work.

SMACK.

“Mmmm”... Nope, she’s still useless.

The giant toad looked at her... And... Grabbed her with her mouth.

“Damn, what a useless demon”

“What do we try next?” Darkness was up and ready next to me.

“Let me think”

“KAZUMAAAAAA”. Aqua was panicking, as usual.

“Let’s seeeeee”

“Damn you Kazuma”

“Ok ok, Darkness, Try your decoy skill, to lure the toad here, so that I don’t have to run to it, and I’ll take it down with my trusted sword”.

“Chunchumaru”. Now Megumin was up and ready

“Shut it”

“Ok Kazuma... There!”

Crack.

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.

“WHAT THE!!!”. Darkness’ decoy skill became overpowered when she’s next to me.

The giant toad spat Aqua out of her mouth because now it had a more alluring target. Unfortunately for us, it wasn’t the only one.

“Kazum-ma... Aren’t they... Looking at me differently”. At that moment I noticed that to the giant toads, not only Darkness had managed to grab their attention, but she become the target that giant toads would give everything to get. I have never though I would see giant toads in awe.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

“HOLY SHIT”. All the giant toads rushed at us.

“Megumin, nuke them! Nuke them all!”.

“I already spent my E-X-P-L-O-S-I-O-N for today”. Shit, that’s true.

I lifted my sword.

“Chunchumaru”.

“Hey, don’t interrupt my thoughts”.

“AHHHHHH”

The giant toads came for Darkness like an avalanche.

They hurled at us like if gigantic boulders were being thrown at us.

I was pushing some back... Damn I’m strong.

I was swinging my sword and defeating them left and right... Damn I’m strong.

“Ka... ma...”. There were still too many, so Darkness was dealing with tens of them at the same time. She was... fighting?

“Hey, fight back”. She was clearly enjoying it.

“There... That... That was the.. Last one”. I needed to catch up on my breath.

“Kazuma...”.

“Yes yes, no need to thank me”.

“You should have waited a little”. This pervert.

“Kazuma...”. Aqua came back to us. “Let me heal her up”. Finally she’s doing something useful.

Aqua sat down next to Darkness, closed her own eyes and chanted something...

Ehhh? 

Me and Megumin noticed something different. Instead of the small bright that usually appeared around Aqua’s hands, it was a denser violet aura.

“Oh, yeah, she’s a demon now”.

EhhhhhhHHHH?!?!?!

The aura kept expanding... And expanding... And expanding... I seemed to cover at least 30 meter around her. Then it suddenly vanished.

Finally Aqua opened her eyes.

“Do you feel better Darkness?”

“Yes Aqua. Thank you”.

Krrrkkkkrrrkkrkrkkr.

Please no...

We looked around and were left in shock... All the giant toads started to reform. Their parts were reattaching... And that was not all...

“K-k-k-k-kazuma... Why do they make that sound when moving? And why do they exude such a strange aura”.

Oh no... TRUE!!!... Aqua’s effects were reversed now, so she heals now monsters too. And since she’s near me, her area of effect increased massively.

“Don’t worry Kazuma...”. Ehhh, why is Aqua this confident?. “Sacred exorcism!” NOOOO!

The giant toads screamed heavily and terrifyingly.

“Kazuma...”. I bet I know what Megumin was about to ask.”Did they just evolve into a higher tier of giant toads?”. Yup, it looks like they did.

“I had enough for today... Teleport”

We were back at our home... What a failure was today.

“It will be night soon... Let’s take it easy, we need to rest”. 

Chapter Text

“Kazuma, since when are you going to bed this early?”. Is Megumin seriously suspicious?

“With such a crazy and failure of a day, I think I am in a deep need to laze around”.

“Shure”.

“Hey, cut it out with the dumb jokes, Aqua”. Aqua giggled. “Whatever, I said I wanna laze around so I’ll laze around”.

All three of them seemed to believe me, but Darkness still seemed unconvinced. Anyways.

Purrrr.

“Hey, where have you been all this time, Chomuske?” Heh, Megumin kept calling her that.

“I was accumulating energy”. Energy? “This town is surprisingly full of it. Want some?” The catgirl approached Megumin and started purring.

“Whatever, you girls have fun. Goodnight”. So I left them.

While on my way to my room, still a place unfitted for a demon lord, I heard them talk about a letter Megimun received from Yunyun. Whatever, they’ll tell me tomorrow about it.

Well then, I this time to think about rescuing Iris.

Mmmmhh. I pondered a little.

I bet I could teleport Eris and I into the castle, then we could sneak around, with my new powers we could easily defeat the guards, then reach Iris and teleport her with us back here.

Mmmmhh, that dream though...

Knock knock. There she was, so I went to the window to open it.

“Chris, what’s up?” Ehhh? Chris... She looked... A little different.

“Chris, why are you so... dressed... I mean more covered that usual?”. She wore clothes that covered everything except the face. Usually she would show some skin.

“Don’t bother, you perv”. I was shocked. Was this really her? She never talked like that, never ever, not even close.

“M-m-my bad, please disregard that, Kazuma”. And now she’s back to normal?

“Chris, I’m always here if you want to talk about troubles”.

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine”. She didn’t seem fine, maybe I’ll have to find out by force.

“Are you sure that you’ll be able to help me today? I could try it alone”.

“Whatever dude...”. I was again socked hearing such words coming out of her mouth. “I mean yes, I’ll help, don’t worry about me”.

Mmmm, anyways, I trust her.

“Okay, so this is the plan”. So I explained my idea, it was simple after all. “The only thing is that we don’t know where exactly Iris is held captive”.

“But wait Kazuma, first of all, if you go as the thief and rescue her, wouldn’t that blow your cover? Maybe even mine. I mean, people will realize quickly that it was you all along, since only you would go that far for Iris”.

“You have a point”. The masked thief could still be useful at a later time.

Mmmmh.

“Chris, what if we scout the palace, making it look like we’re there to steal something, but in reality we find where Iris is being held, and have a different plan of attack in which I would go there as myself to rescue her?”

“That’s a good idea, let’s do it then”.

“Ok, teleport”.

Nice, it worked. Since I still had a clear memory of this place in my mind, we were able to teleport there.

“Ok, let’s look around for clues, then we scout the palace”.

“Is this her room?”.

“Yeah”.

“Pervert”.

“Hey, it is just a location I remember well”.

“As a pervert would”.

“I’m telling you we spent lots of time here together”.

“Degenerate”. Chris was speaking weirdly again.

“Hey! I was teaching her about life outside the walls!”.

“Don’t yell Kazuma”.

Crick.

“Who goes there?”.

“Freeeeeze!”. Oups. Not only the soldier, but the whole room froze up. I need to practice and find a way to better manage the strength of my skills.

“Let’s get him inside the room”. Chris nodded, then we broke him of the ground at the entrance and moved him into the room.

“We have plenty of time until he unfreezes. So let’s scout the palace and end up going to the throne room, as if it was our final objective”. Chris nodded.

We sneaked all over the place, from room to room, then slowly going down to the dungeons.

“Boss, there is a surprising number number of soldiers”. Yes, Chris somehow still won the title after beating me at rock-paper-scissors.

“Indeed there are, newbie. Maybe it is to guard Iris, but it seems to be overkill”. I nodded. It definitely seemed overkill. Nevertheless, we were managing to sneak around without too much of an issue.

“Newbie, are you sure they would keep her in the dungeons? She’s a princess after all”.

“Isn’t that how it is usually done in palaces and castles when locking down political prisoners?”

“I’m not sure they would keep their own princess down there”.

“We should still check to make sure”. Chris nodded in reply.

“Damn, she’s not around here”. We had reached the dungeons, but no signs of the princess, or anyone for that matter.

“Let’s continue scouting”. I nodded in reply.

Again without much difficulty, we made it to the other side of the castle.

“Boss, is it me or do I sense some interior hot springs not too far?”

“Seems like it, why?”.

“Let’s check them out, just in case”.

“You’re such a perv...”. Again in that strange tone. And that look, even in all previous situations she never game such a look, a look as if seeing garbage. “I m-m-mean, who cares about some dumb hot springs”. Oh no she didn’t.

BAM! I wall slammed her... And she stood in shock.

“Don’t you dare criticizing hot-springs”. As someone from Japan, that thought meant war.

Crack.

Ehhh?

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.

The entire wall cracked.

“Emmm”. I completely forgot about my strength.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.

The wall collapsed, revealing the queen surrounded by at least 20 female knights... Were they in a meeting? Were they all female knights because they were assigned to protect the queen? Who knows.

“Pshhh, time for plan B, steal and run”.

“WHAT THE???”

“STEAL!!!” Chris and I screamed at the same time.

Ehhhh?

“EHHHHHH???”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”. The female knights screamed like a chorus of embarrassed maidens.

I suddenly had a small mountain of all types, sizes and colours of panties in my hand... There was one that was sexier above all others... Not  bad for a queen... Oh... Yeah... This was because of the passive skill that makes some of my skills have an area of attack... Chris will kill me... Uh?

“Emmm”.

There was Chris, holding on her hand a small mountain of all types, sizes and colours... Of bras?

“Easy peasy”. She made a thumbs up gesture, although I could feel the embarrassment radiating through her mask. Nevertheless, that brought me back to reality.

“Let’s go”.

We ran away. The female knights had too much of a shameful surprise to run after us, but we could hear as they called for reinforcements.

So we ran and ran, until we found an empty storage room.

“No we can teleport safely without anyone noticing I have teleport”

“Y-y-yes, let’s do that”. Hehehe, Chris’ embarrassment was getting stronger and stronger.

“Teleport”.

It feels nice to be back in my room.

“Chris, are you sure there’s nothing you want to share with me?”. She stole a stack of bras, after all. It was very unusual for her.

“N-n-no, don’t worry Kazuma... Oh, and here you go, I d-d-don’t need this...”. She proceeded to put the stack of bras on my other hand. “Goodnight”. Then she quickly left by the window.

Sight.

Wait, how did Chris also have an area of effect using steal? Was she affected by my passive skills? But how?

Crick.

“There... You... Are... KAZUMAAA!”. Darkness? Megumin? Aqua?

“This isn’t what... You.. Think...?” I quickly looked at my hands, each still holding their respective stack of underwear. Oh shit.

At that moment, Darkness looked like she was going into a berserk mode, Megumin started fuming like a devil while quickly enchanting her beloved spell, while Aqua was making a party trick but with such brutality that the sight was simply indescribable.

“Calm down...”. It was too late, they definitely weren’t calming down. They were getting ready to attack.

“Teleport”. It felt like a reflex, based on a previous event.

“Everyone, see, they listened to me and came here... To... Talk...”. Yunyun finally realized something was wrong.

“There”. Shit, Aqua finished her party trick.

“AHHHHHHHH!!!” Everyone nearby screamed in horror and ran away from us.

“GRAAAAAA”. Darkness annihilated a nearby statue with one powerful hit even if it didn’t land on the statue, due to the increased area of effect.

“CURSED EXPLOSION!”. And Megumin nuked part of the village.

This was hopeless.

“This is not what it seems”. I think no one head me. I’ll have to scream louder.

“I-“. Uh? Hundreds of magical attacks were flying towards us. No time.

“Teleport”

All three of them were knocked out, and I was the only one to realized what a complete chaos we had just caused.

“I wonder why they were so out of control”. I looked at them sleeping as if they had the most beautiful dream.

“Weirdos”.

Anyway, I got to sleep too.

Such a nice morning...

Oho, they are still asleep? Did they really like their shenanigans of yesterday that much? Well then...

She goes here...

And her here...

“Ummmummummm”. Aqua was mumbling.

“Shut it”. Aaaaaaand, there.

Then I grab my cup of coffee. Perfect.

Purrr.

The catgirl came to warm herself on my lap. Perfect indeed.

“Ummm, Kazuma, what’s going on?”. Finally one woke up, and her talking seemed to wake up the others.

“Let’s wait for the others to wake up, in the meantime, let me enjoy this moment”.

“THE HELL WITH THAT!”. Heh. “Why are are pilled up next to the fireplace, and you’re using are as a footstool?”.

“What the...”. The other good regained consciousness.

“Yeah, what the... Hell... Kazu-... Ahhhh”. Darkness was trying to overpower me, but she couldn’t because some other emotions were getting in the way.

“Wait... There is a good reason for it”. All three of them looked confused. Seriously? “Don’t tell me you forgot that all three of you went crazy yesterday”. They kept looking confused.

“What do you mean? I did have a nice dream though. I felt like I made the biggest and most badass explosion ever... An for some reason that I won again at something... Felt nice”. Is Megumin kidding me?

“Me too...”. Yeah, I bet. “I felt like I finally was able to hit a target on purpose and in full force”. Delusional and useless.

Reflexively I looked at Aqua to see what she had to say.

“What? Yeah I had a nice dream, but I’m always awesome!”. Delusions, delusions all over the place.

“You... Threeeee... IDIOTS!”. I just couldn’t hold it any longer. “You three wrecked the Crimson Village, right when Yunyun was able to convince them to gives us a second chance”.

“Mmmmmh... So it wasn’t a dream?”

“How... About... NO!”. The three of them go a little embarrassed. “So you three will stay as my foot stool until you can explain what the hell happened”.

“I don’t care, let me up... Darkness, help us out... Stop breathing so heavily”.

“Y-y-yes, I should control... Myself”. Oh, Darkness seemed to regain her strength.

“Megumin, don’t interfere, Darkness looks like a sturdy stool, so I’ll use her as such”.

“Ahhh... Ahhhhhh...”. All going according to plan.

“So... I’m waiting for a reply”.

“Well, I remember that you went to sleep... Then we read Yunyun’s letter... Then we stayed up playing games for some time”.

“Continue, I’m listening”.

“Then, we heard some noise from your room, so we went to see... And that’s all I remember before the dream”.

Purrr. “Actually...”. Purrr. “That was probably my fault...”. Purrr. “My lord”.

“How so?”

“Well, you remember the time I mentioned I accumulated lots of energy around the city? Well, I’m the Goddess of Violence after all”.

“Ohhh, and you gave it to them?”

Purrr. “Aham”. Purrr.

“But why did all that energy only affect them when they entered my ro-“. Wait, maybe I should shut up.

Purrr. “Something triggered their reaction, which was pushed even further due to my energy”.

“Ohhh, I see, case solved”. Good, she stopped there.

Purrr. “It might have been the stack of panties and bras you were holding”. Shit.

“Wait a second... I REMEMBER THAT NOW”. Damn it.

“Ka...”. Suddenly I felt a lot of strength under my feet. “Zu...”. A killer aura was building up under my feet. “Ma...”. Yup, time to go, I bet I can outrun them with my higher speed skill.

Smack. Something was holding my foot... Very... Tightly.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

I wonder if a demon lord can be killed by its own generals... I guess that I’m about to find out.

Chapter Text

So there I was... On my knees.. Slightly roughed up... With my party members standing in front of me... And an extremely murderous aura emanating from all three of them.

“So...”

All three quickly interrupted me with an aggressive glare.

“So what? How about you explain the stacks of bras and panties?...”. Megumin was surely mad because of my seemingly perverted actions. “...They weren’t even mine”. What?

“Exactly, whose are those, ehhh?”. Wait, what the hell are these two exactly mad about?

“Kazuma...”. I gulped. What could Aqua be mad about? She never really cared. “If that was a party trick, I’ll beat that skill out of you”. I should have known better than expect anything reasonable from her.

Think... THINK!!!... I need a good excuse... Ohhh, I got it.

“I sneaked out with some drinking buddies, so we simply had fun testing the magnificent power of my steal skill”.

“...”

“Ohhh, so it wasn’t a party trick?”. Aqua left happy, without a care in the world.

“W-w-was that all?”. I nodded. “I’m glad”. Now Megumin left happily.

Darkness, still mad, looked at me suspiciously. Then, after the other two moved further away, she approached my ear.

“Please don’t tell me you went somewhere in your thief form”. Now out of all the times for her to use her brain.

“No”.

She keep looking at me with suspicion. But, after some moment of deliberation, she sighed and gave up on the idea.

“Okay then”. Phew, I’m saved. 

Knock, knock.

“Someone is knocking at the door!!!”. Aqua, who had already reached the sofa, was as useless as ever.

“Yeah, yeah”. I went to open it.... Oh, it was the butler working for the Dustiness family.

“Good day, my lord”. He bowed elegantly. I like it, maybe I should tell everyone to do it. “May I speak with Lady Dustiness?”

“You mean, Miss Lalatina? I mean, the demon knight Lala-“. “Oughhhh”. Some very powerful muscular hands came from behind me grabbed my neck and started strangling me.

“What do I owe your visit for?”. She talked so indifferently that one could almost forget that she was still choking me.

“There was an incident at the palace, and multiple families where alerted of it.”

“What happened?

“Oughgh”. She is still not letting me go.

“A group of thieves managed to enter the palace, even with all the defences up”.

“Really? That’s awful...”. I felt her hands squeezing harder. “Did they steal anything?”

“Ouggghhhggghhh”.

“Yes they have. They managed to reach the queen’s room. Luckily she was meeting with her personal guards, but the two thieves launched some steal spell that robbed the queen and her guards of all their underwear.”

“That... Is... Awful...”. Her grip on my neck became much stronger. “Who... would... do... such a thing?”

“Ouggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhhggghhh”.

“They appear to have been the two thieves involved in the robberies a while ago, but this time the queen got traumatized and the entire palace is in full alert. They have completely locked down the palace and reinforced its defence.

“I’m so sorry for the queen... So... Very.. Sorry”. Darkness shook me by the neck at every one of those words, all without easing her grip.

“That is all I came here to inform you. So have a great day”. He looked at me, putting a lot of effort in not showing any emotion. “Same to you my lord”. And he left.

“Who was it?” Megumin approached us at the entrance.

“Oh nothing important... Nothing... At... ALL!”. She was still shaking me.

We went to my room to discuss.

“Why Kazuma... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!!”. Darkness paced around the room, back and forth, quickly and abruptly.

“Why do you keep doing stuff like that?”. In her current light clothes, her breasts were jumping all over the place.

“Why do you keep involving Chris into this?” Boing... Boing... Boing... Boing...

“Are you even listening?”

“Absolutely”. Not.

“Then answer me”.

“Okay okay”.

I briefly explained to her that we were simply scouting the area, and used steal only to make it look like we were simple thieves, and totally weren’t scouting the area.

She took some time to digest what had happened.

Sigh.

“Hey ther-“. Chris peeked into the room through the open window. “My bad, you seem busy”. She tried to leave, but Darkness quickly grabbed her and pulled her into the room.

“So...”. Chris looked at Darkness’ expression. “I guess the cat is out of the bag.”

“indeed...”

“So what now?” Chris simply moved forward in the topic.

“Mmmh... Let’s just get this over with”. Ehhh?

“What do you mean, Darkness?”

“I know that Kazuma won’t stop until he has liberated Princess Iris... So... I’ll help out...”. WHAT?. “I’ll go with you two to make sure you don’t screw it up and traumatize the queen again”. No way.

“That would be fun. What do you think Kazuma?”. Chris looked at me with quite a mischievous look on her face. I still can’t put my finger on the way Chris has changed.

“Sure”. As if I could say anything against it.

“So let’s go tonight and finish this once and for all”.

“But Darkness, we still don’t know where they are keeping Iris”.

“What do you mean, she’s at the second tower. It is the most secure room to put someone to both protect her and not allow her to leave”.

“Ohhh”. That simplifies things.

“So, do you have a way to get inside the palace, Kazuma?”

“Yes Darkness, there is a nearby area that I can teleport us too”

“Perfect”.

“Uoggghhhhhgggghhghghhh”. Darkness was choking me and shaking me with all her might.

“Why did it have to be Iris’ room, you pervert”.

“Calm down Darkness. Didn’t you want to get this over quickly?”. Chris managed to calm Darkness down and release me from her grip.

All three of us, dressed as thieves and wearing Vanir masks, started sneaking around the castle, carefully moving towards the room in which Iris was held captive. The palace had way more guards that before, but my senses also showed that they seemed to increase in quantity in the direction of the queen’s room.

“There seems to be more guards towards the queen’s room, so our path along the wall and towards the second tower should be less affected by the increase in security”.

“Understood”. Both of them spoke in unison.

I felt some steps approaching, so I made a sign for us to hide in the frame of a nearby door. Funnily enough, this worked amazingly well, even without bothering to cast spells each time.

“Ehhh? Who goes there?”. What? Impossible? What could... No... Freaking... WAY!

“Freeze”. The group of four soldiers froze in place.

“Damn it Shadow...”. Darkness had chosen that goofy alias for herself. “Your massive breasts were sticking ot of the door frame”.

“Hey!”. Darkness yelled, forgetting completely our stealthy mission.

“We didn’t have such a problem before, right Chief?”. I reflexively looked at Chris.

“HEY!”. Oups, sorry.

“There they are! Alert the entire palace!”. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

“Time to go”.

“Freeze!!!”

“Ahhhhh”

“Water”

“Ahhhhhhhhh”

“Bind”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

We were running at full speed towards the tower, all while launching every spell that came to mind, to disable all the soldiers that came from all over the place.

“We’re here”. We arrived at the base of the tower, but...

“Indeed you are...”. It was Claire, right in front of the entrance with a number of soldiers. “So how about you give up and tells us why are you here? How did you get in? And who sent you here?”. This is bad, even if I throw spells at them, the results will end up blocking the entrance.

“Kazuma...”. Darkness, who was standing between Chris and I and slightly behind us, whispered. “I’ll lure those covering the entrance while you rush into the tower, then I’ll hold them for a while at the entrance while you get Iris, come back to me and we find a way to escape”. Not a bad plan.

“Understood... Chief, assist Shadow as much as you can”.

“Will do”.

“What are you plotting there? Do you think you can escape while surrounded?”

“Ehhh”. She was astonished to see a smirk on my face.

“Let’s do it”.

“LURE!!!”.

Instantly, those at the entrance became fixated by Darkness... Buuuuut... It wasn’t only them, it was everyone. And not only that, all their gazed filled with a palpable murderous intent. As they rushed towards Darkness, I quickly looked at Chris, as to confirm to her that we’ll proceed as planned... Buuuuut... She was also filled with murderous intent. Oh dear...

As everyone, even Chriss, rushed to attack Darkness, I proceeded with the plan. While making it up the tower’s stairs, everything started shaking.

“Baaaaam!”

“Boooooooooooooooom”

“What the hell are they doing to Darkness?... I have to make this quick”.

As I broke through the door, I saw Iris... She was... She was braking the window with a chair.

“What are you doing???”.

She looked at me, her eyes filled with a very recognizable murderous intent. Then she jumped out of the tower towards the area where Darkness was.

I rushed and jumped after her.

“I got you”. I caught her midair and landed onto... Ruins? The entire section of the palace where we were standing was in complete ruins. The murderous intent had reached such level that the mages, currently out of mana and laying on the ground, had launched their most powerful spells. Meanwhile, Darkness was tanking the soldiers that were somehow still standing.

“Enough Shadow, dispel your luring skill”.

“N-n-n-not yet.”

“Bind”. The remaining knights fell down, held by some ropes, but there were still trying to move, trying to reach Darkness in any way possible.

“I... Said... Now!”. So she did, finally.

And so I stood there, over the partial ruins of the castle, while holding an unconscious Iris in my hands, and hundreds of warriors and mages laying around exhausted and damaged by the magical explosions. Deja vu?

“Time to leave”.

I also grabbed Darkness and Chris, moved to an area away from anyone’s sight and then teleported back to Axel.

“What now?”

There I was, in my room with those three girls laying unconscious on my bed.

“How will I be able to explain this... mmmmh... Mmmmmmmmhhhhh... Whatever, that will be a problem for future me”.

Then a realization came to mind.

“Wait, the mission is successful, so I should be happy since Iris is safe now”. Anyway, I should wake Chris up, so that she leaves before Iris wakes up or the two others come by.

“Hey, wakey wake-“. What is this? He clothes were all over the place, so there was an opening at her belly and he new style of bandages over her head were coming off. What... The... Fuuuu... There were tattoos over her belly, demonic looking tattoos, and she had... She had... HORNS! I couldn’t help it, so I touched the horns, just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating... They are REAL!!!.

“K-k-kazuma”. I looked at the just awakened Chris. “Please ignore what you just saw”. She was completely flustered.

“As if, what happened?”

“Sniff, sniff”. Chris was arranging her clothes to hide those features. “From... Fff... From what I gathered, it is because on the large quantity of new believers I got”.

“I don’t understand”. Isn’t it good to have more believes in Eris? This makes no sense.

“Believers do have a certain limited influence on the goddess they pray to, like on their attitude or their appearance, sniff sniff”.

“Really? Then... Ohhh... So your new believers projected onto you demonic features?”.

“Yup”. She nodded at the same time.

“Then, what did your other project onto you?”

“Sniff sniff sniff”. She seemed to remember something bad. “Something like a pure maiden...”. Wait stop, don’t say anything more. “So... So...”. Damn it, I think I made a mistake. “My boobs slowly became smaller...”. I’m so sorry. “And smaller and smaller...”. I really hope she can forgive me for bringing back such memories. “Sniff sniff”. Damn it, now she’s crying.

“I’m sorry”. I was already on the ground, at her feet, begging her for forgiveness.

“D-d-don’t worry Kazuma... It is after all my job as a goddess”.

On the other hand...

“Then what about Aqua... What could they be projecting onto her?”. Chris became tense and a little... Horrified?... At least it seemed to help her forget the previous memory.

“Well... You see... How to put it...”. Did I land on another mine?. “Her followers... Her very fanatics followers... Are very lustful... So... Her physique... Her short skirt...”.

“Pff-“. I barely contained my laughter. “Please, there is no need to go further”.

A moment of silence passed.

“Anyways, you probably need to get going”.

“Yes, good idea... Well...”. Chris gave me a glance. “at least the mission was successful”. Then she smiled... And what a beautiful smile it was... So all I could do was nod once, then she left.

“Now what will be this maniac’s punishment...”

Here... Some more here... Some final touches here... And... There you go, I think this should hold for a while... Now if I put it up... Yup, it is holding well and it looks perfect.

I heard two pairs of steps reaching the living room.

“Emmmh... Kazuma... what is going on?” Megumin stood motionless at the entrance of the living room. She was shocked. All while Aqua kept walking towards the sofa.

“What do you mean Megumin, after all these years and with all the things that have happened, I bet there is a good reason”. Aqua seemed to have used her brain for once.... Or... Was she so shocked that she’s trying to cope with it?

“Mmmmgghhhhmmm”. Look who just woke up. “Ehhh, K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-kazuma... ahhh... Ahhhhhh... Aaaaaahhhhhh... What... Why did you bind me to a gigantic cross?”

“After what happened, you need to repent”.

“Ahhhhh... Ahhhhh... You... You demon...”

“You bet I am, and it is MY LORD for you”.

“Kazuma...”. Megumin hadn’t moved yet. “Do I need to know?”.

“Nope”.

I could hear another set of steps approaching.

“Good morning”. The gentle voice came from right behind Megumin, towards which she turned.

“IRIS?!?!?!”

“That’s me”. Iris smiled like the princess she was.

“Kazuma...”

“I said nope...”

There was a moment of silence and judgment.

Siiiiiiiiiigh... Seems that Megumin won’t ask for details, jackpot! But what about Aqua?

“Hey Princes”. Then she turned to look back at the fire. I think she’s still too shocked to understand what is real and what isn’t.

“Mmmm, Kazuma, may I ask about the current situation of Miss Lalatina?”.

“Please, princess, do not pay attention to my-”.

“Simple, she did something stupid, so I will force her to repent”. I sensed hear breathing heavy again. “And if she won’t, I parade her like this at an upcoming festival”. Her breathing got much heavier.

“Ohhh... Okay, I wish you the best on your journey, Miss Lalatina”. I guess that’s a way to put it.

So there we were, trying to look normal and inviting to Iris. So, we kind of forgot...

“Please Iris, erase this from your memory... I forgot how... How we...”. Megumin was almost crying on the floor, on top of the broken pieces of her chair, which didn’t manage to hold her an her temporarily overfilled belly.

“What are you talking about Megumin. Here Iris, try this, it is delicious”. Aqua was also overflowing her chair, but she still somehow managed to sit straight.

“Thank you Miss Aqua”.

No one paid attention to the heavily breathing and drooling knight attached to a cross.

“So... Kazuma, how did I get here? The last thing I remember was going to sleep at the palace...”.

Everyone’s gaze turned towards me.

“Mmmmhhh”. How can I explain it...

Chapter Text

How to explain it... How... To.. Explain it...

Maybe I should reveal to her everything, from the identity of the thief to the way we saved her... Maybe without all the details. And what about revealing that Chris helped me, I don’t thing Chris would want that. And for that matter, what about revealing Darkness’ involvement in the last mission...

I glanced at Darkness... One of my eyebrows went up as I noticed that some of the ropes holding her were digging into her chest... Gulp... Did I accidentally made it a bondage?

“Kazuma, what are you-“. Shit, I think Megumin noticed too.

Everyone followed her sight, even Darkness, who seemed unaware of her own situation.

“K-k-kazuma... Ahhh... Aaaahhhh... Ahhhhhh... You... You monster...”. Darkness suddenly looked shocked, I think she just remembered that Iris was among us. “Priness... P-p-please don’t... Loook... Ahhhh...”. Darkness shook her binding with a brutal force, slightly moving the entire cross. “Don’t look... At me... In such state... Ahhhhh...”.

“Ehhh”.

“AAAAAaaaaahhhhh”

BAAAAM!

Darkness managed to have the cross fall, crushing her between the cross and the floor.

Clap, clap, clap, clap.

Everyone turned towards me, the source of the clapping.

“Splendid... Marvellous!... Glorious!!!... Truly no one could have performed a bondage landing with so much dignity other that you and only you, Miss Lalatina!”

Pffff. Iris barely held her laughter.

“Ka...”. Crack crack. “Zu...”. The bindings were cracking one by one. “Maaaaaaaaaaaa...”. All the remaining bindings cracked at the same time, Darkness was going berzerk.

“Iris, your big brother needs you to help him”.

Iris nodded seriously, as if it was a mission on which my life depended on... Which, now that I think about it, isn’t too far from the truth.

“Miss Lalatina... Let’s... Let’s... Leeeeet’s...”. Oh no, she has no clue of what to say. “Shopping!... Yeah, let’s go shopping!”

Darkness rushed towards us, she was still in berserk mode. I’m dead, she isn’t reacting to Iris. I instinctively closed my eyes while getting in a defensive posture.

Wham!

I opened my eyes and saw Darkness gabbing both of Iris’ hands with both of hers.

“Gladly!”. Success!

Knock knock.

“Just a moment, I’ll go see who that is”. Phew, hopefully no one comes back to that question.

I reached the door and saw the dustiness servant.

“Good morning, my lord. This is an urgent matter, so could I speak to Miss Lalatina?”.

“Do you mean, demonic kni- gggggguuuuhhhgghhhh”

“What news do you bring today”.

“De-gggguuhhhggghhh-Ja-ggghhggghg-Vu-gggghhhggghhh”.

“Miss Lalatina, it is a horrible news. After the strange attack on the royal family, everyone is in panic because Princess Iris got kidnapped”.

“N-n-no worries, we’ll go save her!”. Ehhh? What is Darkness doing?. Darkness turned toward me. “Isn’t that right, Kazuma?”.

“Y-ggghhhugggh-yes”.

“I’m glad to hear that”. Then he promptly left.

“What are we going to do Kazuma?”. Oh Darkness, as if I knew.

“Yeah, what are we going to do?”. Darkness and I slowly turned our head and saw Iris, who had quietly moved behind us.

“Iris, I know you’re mad, but what else could I have done?” Iris was pacing around my room, while me and Darkness sat on my bed.

“I can’t believe you Kazuma...”. Yeah, I can bet on that. “And even you, Miss Lalatina...”. I looked at Darkness, who was fidgeting out of embarrassment.

“I... I...”. Iris stopped and looked extremely furious.

“Why did you left me out? I wanna join too...”. She’s mad about that!

“Princess, please no...”. Darkness jumped out of the bed, and started pacing and talking kinda to herself while she was finding all the reasons possible to discourage Iris. Buuuuut...

“Princ-“. Darkness had just realized that I had already started to explain the ins and outs of thieving, as well as my experience as the renown thief. “Please nooooooooo”.

“Miss Lalatina... I have always been stopped from learning what happened outside the palace walls... So while I’m here, I want to learn as much as I can, so please, let me learn”. Iris’ intentions were astonishingly pure.

“Y-yes princess, even if it is against my best judgment... I understand...”. Darkness glanced at me. “I have to recognize that as a noble, I felt sheltered too which led me to seek adventure... And I was lucky to find...”. Darkness stopped for a few seconds, clearly recalling many memories.”Sniff... Sniff... Such a great group of people”. For a moment, my heart stopped, seeing such a heart felt moment from this depraved knight.

Iris instinctively moved towards Darkness, stood next to her on the tip of her toes, and patted Darkness’ head. “There, there, Miss Lalatina”.

“So, what now?” Now that Darkness had calmed down, she continued the discussion.

“We have to make it look like we saved Iris from the kidnappers...”. My first idea had Darkness and Iris look very uncertain. “Or that we reveal that we were the ones who requested the rescue mission to the group of thieves...”. This time both seemed to think that it would be hardly believable. “Or, we describe a deal made with the thieves, for them to give us Iris”. Both of them looked at each other.

“Yeah, I think that last one makes the most sense”. Darkness liked it.

“Not only that, I think it is the last one also reduces the chances of people thinking that the thief and the demon lord are the same”. Iris was making an even more compelling argument for it.

“Then we agree”. Darkness and Iris nodded.

“So that’s the plan”. I had finished explaining the situation to Megumin and Aqua, which were sitting on the couch in the living room. Well, kinda explained, without revealing the fact that Chris, Darkness and I were the thieves, by telling them that we made it look like we were the renown thieves, to have someone to blame.

“I see...”. Phew, Megumin seemed convinced. “No wonder it was so different...”. Ehhh? “That thief was amazing and fought in such cool ways, while you simply wrecked the place”. I guess that’s true... Phew. Lucky me.

“Yeah, whatever”. Why do I even bother with explaining things to Aqua.

“So cool, big brother!”. Iris loved the stories I was telling her. But this was not the only reason we were talking so much, it had been three days since the kidnapping, so for the plan to work, she had to stay inside the house, out of the view of everyone else.

“Yeah, those were some crazy moments”. Iris nodded in reply.

“I can’t wait to go around the town, tomorrow, after we finally announce the next phase of the plan”. Iris was giddy, which looked very cute.

Knock knock.

“Let me go open the door, I bet Aqua forgot her key again”.

I went for the door to open it.

“Good day, my lord”.

“Vanir? What are you doing here?” He smirked.

“First...”. He simply went through the door, looked into the direction of the couch where Iris was siting and curiously looking into his direction.

“Princess, let me present myself, I’m demon serving our astutely perverted demon lord right here”. You little...

“Hahaha... You’re incredible big brother... To think you even have even demons at your service... I’m pleased to meet you, sir Vanir”.

“Big? Brother?... I didn’t even believe my skills when I saw that in your mind, my lord”.

“Shut it... Anyways, Is that the only reason for your presence?”

“Not at all... Muahahahahahahahahahaha... The time has come... The time for madness, depravity, chaos, hysteria, corruption, insanity, rage, delirium, wickedness, sin, viciousness, immorality, degenera-“

“Wow, wow, wooooow, what are you talking about?”. I glanced at Iris, who was shocked from so many words whose meanings she knew but never got to experience or observe in real life. She was completely overjoyed that there could be a moment during which she may learn of so many new things that would have been unthinkable had she stayed at the palace.

“What else... It is time for the FESTIVAL!!!”.

“What? Now? Why?”

“Not only all the materiel is ready and the activities are planned, but my senses are telling me that should should announce it tomorrow, along you other announcement, so that the festival takes place in one week from tomorrow”.

“Are you certain?”

“Fully, my lord”.

“To all the citizens of Axel, if you’re available, please go to the town plaza at noon for some very important announcements from our demon lord. Thank you”.

“Thank you all for coming today”. The entire plaza went silent. There were so many more people that what I remembered this town having. Not only that, there weren’t only humans, it was clear that many more types of living beings had joined the town.

“I have two announcements to make”. Everyone was attentive. Was it because they never expected me to give some important news? I mean, after all, this is the first time I speak in front of the entire town of Axel, since I became the new demon lord.

“Firstly, many of you heard of the kidnapping of the princess, which took place a few days ago...”. Many among the crowd nodded in confirmation. “Not only she has a good reputation among the people but she also is a personal friend of ours, hence we did what we could and managed to negotiate her freedom from that renown group of thieves...”. A mix of shock and surprise spread through the crowd. “And here she is”. I waved to Iris to come on the stage.

“Thank you all, I hope that you’ll all welcome me to your beautiful town”. Then she bowed elegantly.

Cheers erupted in the crowd.

“Our lord is amazing!”. Wow, I love those cheers.

“The demon lord is incredible!”. Stop it, I’ll blush.

“Amazing that he dealt with those amazing thieves”. Heh, if only they knew.

“How did he even manage”. Heh, if only they knew.

“Did he steal their underwear?”. Heh, if only... Wait what?

“I bet he cursed their underwear instead... I pity the thieves”. Hey hey hey!

“Calm down everyone, I simply made a deal with them”. Everyone looked surprised and suspicious. These weirdos clearly expected me to do something more demonic.

“Bullshit!”

“Are you already lying to us?”

“Then what was it?”

“Yeah, what was it?”

Damn it, I didn’t even think of an excuse. Calm down, don’t panic.

“It was something those thieves knew they couldn’t get their hands on...”. The crowd gulped. “Something they had desired for a while and never achieved to obtain...”. The crown gulped again. “Some exclusive and freshly worn underwear from Darkness”. The entire crowd, without an exception turned towards Darkness, who was near the stage. I also glanced at her and she had turned red while looking down, completely and utterly embarrassed. I bet it is because her thoughts are running wild.

“Hell yeah, that’s our demon lord!”

“Now that’s a devoted panty lord”. Nope, don’t call me that.

“To think he would sacrifice the dignity of his own generals”. Dignity? What dignity?

“Will Wiz’ panties be needed for the next negotiations?”. Not a bad idea.

“Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!”. The crowd cheered me... Mission accomplished. So I looked at Megumin and Aqua. Both were looking at me like if they had just seen the trashiest trash in trash existence, even though they knew I was making it up... Wait, they don’t... Fuuuuuuu... Then I glanced at Iris, who was smiling gently but clearly hiding a mixed bag of emotions.

“A-a-anyways, as for the second announcement...”. Everyone went quiet again. “In one week, we’ll have a major festival...”. Everyone was shocked, again, especially Megumin, Aqua and Darkness, whom I forgot to warn. Oups. “We’ll celebrate this unique city, and I want it to be so loud and outrageous, that even the gods will take notice!”. It took a few seconds for everyone to understand what I had just said.

“Woooohooooo”. Everyone cheered.

“Time to party!”. Hell yeah.

“Ladies, get those panties ready!”. Mmmmh.

“I bet it will be the most degenerate event in history”. I hope so.

“An depraved and immoral festival? Talk about a welcome party for the princess!”. Nope nope nope. Please Iris, don’t believe them, you’re the only one who knows the truth!!!

“Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!”

Well, this went better than expected.

“Kazutrash, Kazutrash, Kazutrash”. My party’s cheers could be heard too.

Sigh. Exactly as expected.

Chapter Text

The announcements now over, the crowd returned to their daily lives. Most of them seemed to be in very high spirits. My party, Iris and I went to the back stage.

“Nnnnggghh-CALM-nnnnggghhhnggg-DOWN-nnnnggghhhngghhh”.

“Why Kazuma, why???!!!... Ahhhh... Ahhh... Why?... Ahhh... Must you say such things about me???”. Sincerely, I had no answer.

“So Kazuma...”. Darkness stopped shaking me and we both looked at the person talking. Wait, Iris didn’t call me big brother. “You think my freedom is worth the same as a pair of Darkness’ freshly worn underwear?”. She’s definitely mad. She’s smiling with murderous intent.

“I’m...”. Darkness let me go. “I’m really sorry Iris... I panicked and it is the only thing that came to my mind...”. Iris’ smile stopped having murderous intent, instead it looked like she simply wanted to kick my butt. At least some improvement in her mood “After all, the thieves in question are known to be perver-nnnngggghhhh”.

“How dare you Kazuma...”. What’s Megumin so furious about?. “Those thieves are amazing and have so much style...”. Sigh. Ehhh? Megumin suddenly stopped shacking me by the throat. “Kazuma, what was that about a festival?”.

We decided to go on a walk throughout Axel while I tried explaining the festival to all four of them.

“So in order to further cement my status as a demon lord...”. All of them looked genuinely curious. Actually, Iris also looked eager to learn more. “I decided to have a festival... And have it become a day of celebration...”. They seemed to agree. “Moreover, look at all the different species walking in this city...”. They looked around. “It will help welcome all the newcomers and unite everyone in Axel”. They nodded. Phew, though, it was all a lie, but I can’t tell them my real plan.

“So Kazuma, what kind of festival will this be? Will there be special meals? Dances? Spectacles? Games?”. Iris was eagerly waiting for my reply.

“A little bit of everything... I know, lets walk around to see some examples”.

We were walking by some shops and I noticed that each of them had a special menu item.

“Iris, see those announcements at the front of each shop, those are unique food items especially made for the festival“. I pointed at one of them. “For example, this one will have the... Mmmh... Freshly Squeezed Double Latte”. Vanir, what the hell did you bring onto this world.

“Ohhh, but does it mean something or is it just a name? Let me go ask”.

“Please don’t go princess”. Darkness was red like a tomato. I bet her imagination went wild. I got to suggest another one.

“Anyways, see over there, there is the Twin Mountain Range Oasis”.

As if right on time. we all watched one of the servers practising. She was a beautiful elf with an impressive chest, holding a glass of alcohol with a light blue tint between her breasts. It was actually amazing to see her walk without the glass spilling even one drop. When she arrived at the table, she sort of crouched near it, resulting in her breasts laying on the table, with the glass still holding all the liquid. At that table, another server acting as a customer grabbed the glass carefully. And voila, the awe inspiring practice was over.

I glanced at Iris, whom had just discovered a completely new world, full of possibilities. Meanwhile, Megumin pouted and Darkness turned away the moment our eyes made contact.

“PFFF... Hahaha...”. Why is Aqua laughing?. “That’s child’s play, you know nothing you dummy Kazuma...”. Ehhh?. “Look...”. She put a piece of paper into her chest. “Like this...”. Don’t tell me. “Then like this...”. She started playing with her breasts, moving them all over the place. “And like this...”. I suddenly noticed a crowd gathering around us, clearly enjoying the spectacle. “And voila!”. A paper figurine of a beautiful fountain popped out between her breasts.

“Amazing... Incredible... Glorious...”. The crowd cheered, me included, while Aqua proudly puffed her chest, with the figurine still stuck in it.

“P-p-princes, please ignore what we just... Princess?”. Darkness lost sight of Iris, whom at the moment was stating next to Aqua.

“Please do it again, Miss Aqua, that was amazing”. The crowd, me included, gulped.

“Sorry Iris, my art comes out in the heat of the moment...”. Damn it. “Maybe later”. Definitely later, I won’t forget it.

“W-w-whatever, personality matter the most...”. Sure Megumin, surely it does. “A-a-anyway, who the hell planned activities like these...”. That would be Vanir, whom I should give some reward for bringing to life my ideas. “Are these your ideas Kazuma?”.

“Nope, why would you think tha-BAM”. We all looked, the crown included, at the source of the sound. At a nearby coffee shop, a dryad with a legendary butt, had sat on a table while clenching a steaming coffee cup by the cup’s handle, only to carefully release it. She carefully moved off the table without spilling even spilling a drop and cheered for her successful training. As glorious as I had imagined... Wait.

The crowd, me included, realized something and turned our gaze towards Aqua.

“Heh...”. Dear God. “Too easy...”. I don’t think I’m ready, yet it feels like I’m not even blinking right now. “See this...”. Aqua grabbed a piece of paper with one hand and grabbed her skirt with the other. “Aaaaand...”.

“Aqua, stop, not here”. Damn you Darkness. The crowd and I sighed. Then I turned to the crowd and gave them a certain look, which they all understood. I was going to punish Darkness, haaaaaaarshly. “Come on Aqua, let’s see what other stuff is being prepared for the festival”. Yup, Darkness is definitely getting crucified again... Oh... I know exactly how.

We continued walking around the city.

“Big brother...”. Yes yes, I know what you’re thinking Megumin, don’t look at me like that. “What is that shop selling?”.

“Ohhh, those are the clothes that we hope everyone to wear for the festival”. I nodded proudly while my party looked at me suspiciously. So little trust... Meanwhile, Iris ran to the shop.

“Emmmh, I don’t understand it big brother...”. I get happier and happier every time she calls me that. “And... Are these swimsuits?...”. Hell yeah. “And they somehow combine with this?”. You bet it does.

“Yup”.

“Interesting”. Iris grabbed a one of the hangers holding a relatively plain but still cute two piece swimsuit, and placed it in front of herself. So cute. Then she took the long light-reddish shirt and placed it in front of the swimsuit. “Like this?”.

“Exactly like that... It looks really good on you”. Iris’ face reddened a little. Mega cute.

“Where is this style from?”.

“It is from the lands I came from. It looks quite nice and is very comfortable, which makes it perfect for hot summer days, like what we have now.

“Ohhh, so cool”.

“Kazuma... Are those-?”.

“No idea what you’re talking about, Aqua.”

“Seriously...”

“Shut it, don’t ruin the fun”.

“Sigh”. Sigh all you want Aqua, but this will be fun.

“By the way, where are Megumin and Darkness?”. Iris and Aqua looked at me confused. I bet they didn’t notice it either.

“So Kazuma, how does it look on me?”. Megumin had put them on. Her slim body resuled in the shirt slightly slipping over her soulder, making it look quite cute.

“Very cute too”. Meguim was pleased.

“M-m-megumin, are you sure this was the right size?”. Darkness appeared, with her shirt very tightly squeezing Darkness. Her absurdly lustful curves were perfectly highlighted and her swimsuit mapped out with sinful precision. God damn.

“Sorry Darkness, I thought it would be the right size. It is definitely too tight”.

“Not tight enough”. They all looked at me. Damn, I let my thoughts slip out.

Darkness covered her face and run into the store to change back her clothes. So I went after her.

“I was joking Darkness... Calm down”. I was standing at the entrance on the changing cabin where Darkness was... And I definitely wasn’t imagining anything weird.

“I-i-it’s alright... d-d-don’t worry about it...”. The her hand slipped out with the clothes she just took off. “Could you please return them while I finish changing?”.

“Yeah yeah...”. I took them and went to the store clerk.

“Do you need anything my lord?”.

“Yes, I’ll pay for this so please put it away, I’ll pick it up later.

“Certainly, my lord”.

We continued.

“Ehhh... Big brother, what is that?”.

“No idea, Iris”.

“Kazuma, is that a fighting ring?”.

“Not too sure, Darkness”.

“Kazuma, why does it seem to be covered in mud?”

“No clue, Megumin”.

“Seriously?”

“Zip it, Aqua”.

“Big brother, what are they all doing there?”.

“Oh, they are practising for a parade... I think they’ll also put on a show later in the festival”.

“Kazuma, are those succubi?”.

“I don’t know Megumin, maybe”. Definitely they are.

“Oh, Kazuma, they look good in the clothes you specially selected for the festival... But...”.

“But what, Darkness?”

“Don’t they look strangely uncomfortable?”.

“Now that you mention it, yeah, they do”. Is it because they usually show more skin?

“Hahaha, you dummy Kazuma...”. What now, Aqua. “You seriously forgot how this is done properly?...”. Properly?. “And you dare talk about fun?...”. She lost me completely. “See...” Ohhh. “Like this...”. How the hell. “Then here...”. Was I dumb enough. “Then there...”. To forget it. “And there you go”. I’ll pray for Aqua a few times.

A commotion broke among the succubi, so we looked in their direction.

“Ohhh”. The succubi had noticed what Aqua did, and without hesitation did the same, which made them happier than ever. They had all turned their festival shirts into twist-tops, barely able to cover their massive chests. The crowd, me included, was happy... Very happy.

“Let’s continue”.

“Ohhh, I never see that, what is it?”

“Heh, that’s a game in which you throw the ball and if you’re able to know down all the cans in a single hit, you get a special plushie”. Iris and... Darkness?... Got excited.

“Seems simple enough”.

“That’s what everyone says, but you’ll try it during the festival and will see how hard it can be”.

“I accept the challenge!...”. Iris puffed her chest. “So what kind of plushies will be given out?”

“That’s a secret”.

“Kazuma... Why are you smirking like that?”. Oups.

“Me?... No idea what you’re talking about... Anyways, let’s continue.

“Wow, this is what the city square looks like now? Amazing”. Iris looked happy.

“I must agree, this looks beautiful”. Megumin looked in awe.

“Indeed, and the statues are gorgeous”. I fully agree, Darkness.

We continued and approached some of the statues.

“Wow... Such a unique wardrobe...”. Iris looked even happier.

“Kazuma...”. I’ll just ignore Darkness.

“Are they dancing? The poses are...”

“L-l-let’s continue, princess”. Darkness ruining all the fun.

“What is wrong with you, Kazuma?”.

“No idea what you’re talking about, Megumin”.

Aqua approached Iris and whispered something into her ear. Although not too quietly.

“Those are traditional dances from Kazuma’s land...”. That’s one way to put it. “Erotic dances”. Iris’ eyes widened and lit up.

“Kazuma...”. Darkness moved towards me.

“My lord!”. All of us turned towards the easily recognizable voice of Darkness’ father. He seemed exhausted. Did he run towards us?

“Wow, are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Yes my lord... There is an emergency...” What now?. “Multiple armies are heading towards Axel, as we speak”.

“WHAT???!!!”.

“Yes. We don’t know the exact reasons, but all their armies are moving in this direction”.

“And whose armies are those?”. Who did I piss off this time?

“The empire, from which princess Iris was liberated, has sent all their divisions...”. I-I-I guess I don’t blame them. “The crimson clan... I mean the whole of the crimson clan is on the move...”. Well, we did nuke their town. “The entire holy army of the Eris Church was mobilized and is marching in this direction too”. What? Why?. “It appears to be led by the converted daughter of the previous demon king”. Seriously? How did she manage to get into that position anyway?. “There is also...”. More? THERE ARE MORE?. “The unholy... cough cough... I mean special army of the Axis Church on the way”. Now that makes no sense at all.

“What do we doooooooo Kazuma???!!!”. Aqua panicking as usual.

“Let’s calm down”. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

Chapter Text

This is madness... Complete madness... Four armies heading towards us?... And at the same time???... This could ruin my plans.

“Hehe... He... Hehehehe... Hehe...”.

“Megumin, I know you want to blow up stuff, but calm down.”. Although Darkness was panicking, she always found a way to worry about the rest of the party. “Let me rush there first, I’ll keep them busy for ten minutes”. I take it back. “No... More like one or two hours”. This depraved never stops.

“Kazuuuuuummmmaaaaaaaa”. Aqua was still shaking me. “What do we dooooooooo?”.

“Calm down”. I grabbed her hands. “I have a plan”. Not really, but I make one, somehow. “So don-“.

“REALLY???”. Aqua and I turned towards Darkness’ father, whose rare exclamation surprised me and probably the others too. “Phew, I ‘m glad. Then I’ll leave it up to you my lord...”. Wait, I’ll need some help, lots of help. “In your great and very capable hands...”. Wait. “I’ll go right away to tell all the nobles not to worry about this situation...”. Hold on. “Plus that means we don’t need to tell anything to the citizens, they shouldn’t worry about it either...”. Wait. “With your permission, I’ll leave right away”. Then he left... SHIT!

“You’re incredible, big brother!”. Now there is no going back... Think... THINK!!!... At least I have to make sure my party doesn’t leave me to deal with those armies alone.

“Indeed Iris...”. Her eyes were full of admiration. “My party and I will be able to deal with the situation”. Damn it, actually I just confirmed that we won’t be getting anyone’s help.

“You always find ways to surprise me, Kazuma”. Darkness seemed relaxed. Wait, all of them are. Do they really think the four of us can take on four armies?. “So what do we do? What’s the plan?”

“I’ll tell you in time and place”. I got no ideas right now.... ZERO!. “For now, let’s continue with exploration of the festival preparations”.

By the end of the day, Darkness’ father told us the estimated path that the four armies where taking and the timeline of their arrival... It was the same timeline, so we need to stop them as soon as possible.

“That’s all the information our scouts were able to get”.

“T-t-thank you”.

“My lord, I’m certain that you’ll be able to handle this”. Why the hell everyone trusts me so much. Hey, don’t look at me like that. Damn it, I have to think of something.

“Understood, then we’ll rest and start tomorrow”. Everyone’s eyes lit up. I should be able to think of something by tomorrow.

“Nope, it is morning and I got nothing...”. So I left my room and when to grab something for breakfast.

“Good morning, Kazuma”. Huh?. “Let go”. All three of them were ready to go. What the hell?. “We need to put your plans in motion as soon as possible. Every second that passes, the armies get closer”. Then it is time to improvise.

“Relax, I’ll have some breakfast and then...”. Darkness grabbed me from the back, squeezing me with all her might. “What are you doing?”. I mean, it felt nice. Wait, what are they up to? Megumin and Aqua took out a few plates of food, and shoved them in my face.

“No time to lose, now you’re full, so let’s go”.

The closest army was the one from the empires. So, we reached the top of a hill, one of the very few in the area. Mmmmh, this location reminds me of something.

In front of us was the gigantic army, around 50,000 soldiers, as estimated by the scouts under Darkness’ father... Is that... Is that the king and the queen in the formation?

“Wow... Ahhh... Can’t hold it... Much... Longer”. We can see that, Megumin.

“So, first, Megumin nukes them, then I’ll tell you what to do next, everyone ready?”. Let’s improvise.

“Yes”. Aqua and Darkness nodded.

“Megumin, are you ready?”

“Yes... Ahhhh... So ready... Ahhh... I want to do it... Ahhh... NOW”. She was caressing her staff while sounding completely delirious.

“Go for it”. I nodded towards Megumin, who immediately started chanting her spell.

“Behold...”. Here we go, I can see spell forming above the centre of the army. “The most glorious and most powerful spell in existence...”. Always so dramatic. “The spell that can flatten armies and mountains...”. Indeed, time for the launch. “The strongest spell among all of the known spells...”. Yeah yeah, launch it already. “The greatest power known to humanity...”. What the hell is she doing!!!. “The only things that even Gods fear...”. Wait... The army is... “EXPLOSION”.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Everything trembled for 30 seconds. Anyone standing crumbled to the ground.

“So Kazuma, how many points do yo give to my explosion? I think it was amazing, not the greatest, but amazing”. I sat up, looked at the location hit by the spell.

“Minus one million points”. Damn it, this isn’t good.

“What are you even talking about Kazuma?”.

“Minus... One... Million... Freaking... Points!!!... By the time you finished showing off the stupid length of your spell, they moved their units away from the location of the hit”. Damn it, the plan failed.

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. 

“Emmmh, Kazuma, what is that sound?”. No wonder this area seemed familiar.

“That’s the sound of a previous mistake... But now...”.

“Defend!!!”

It was a massacre... The massacre of all morals... The massacre of all dignity... We could only stand and watch, as the giant frogs, that Aqua had infused with demonic power, were attacking the army. They didn’t seem to want to kill the soldiers. Instead, they toyed with them. They grabbed the soldier into their mouths only to spit them out. They used their long tongues to harass the soldiers in the nastiest way possible. The entire army got quickly overwhelmed, against a viciously nasty enemy. And now the soldiers were covered in slime.

“K-k-kazuma... Can I join them?”. This knight of ours.

“The hell you can”. I looked back at the army, it was completely defeated and fully at the mercy of the giant frogs. “Darkness, actually, lure the giants frogs away and hold them for a little while so that I can-“. Darkness rushed away without even letting me finish

“LUUUUUREEEEEE”. All the frogs and the entire army looked in her direction, but only the frogs were capable of fulfilling their sudden desire to attack Darkness.

BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.

The frogs rushed towards Darkness and the ground shook. Meanwhile, we approached the army and moved towards were the king and queen were.

“Nggghhhhh”. The soldiers simply hadn’t the physical or mental strength to attack us as we were passing by. Seems that the lure effect passed away due to their inability to fulfill it, interesting.

“There you are”. The king and queen, still laying on the ground like all the soldiers, looked up. They were horrified. “So... How about you tell me the reason of your attack”.

“You m-m-monster... You dem-m-mon... You took our daughter, the princess, and now you’ll have a festival in which you plan to toy with her, humiliate her and do depraved things to her... You monster”. Looks like the news on the festival have caused some confusion. “T-t-to think that our army... Would be beaten... So easily.” Yeah, I was surprised to. “Give us back our daughter!”. Maybe I should explain to them that Iris is fine and that this was all a misunderstanding. “You degenerate demon lord”. I understand that they are desperate, but aren’t they forgetting the situation they are in? “You depraved pervert”. Enough.

BAM. My foot landed right next to the king’s head, which made them both go quiet immediately.

“I think you’re forgetting the situation you’re in. Maybe I should bring back the frogs and let them finish you off”. The king and queen lost all hope.

“Don’t... I’ll protect you... Even if it is the last thing I do”. We turned around and saw Mitsurugui, barely standing up. So I approached Aqua and whispered to her.

“Aqua, your biggest fan, Kuzukagi, has arrived, blow him away.” She turned towards him, made a cute pose, crushed a small piece of paper in her hands and sent him a flying kiss, releasing the paper which had turned into a beautiful small bird... What the hell is she doing?... Then, when the paper bird arrived in front of Mitsurugi, it quickly transformed into something horrifying, only to instantly disappear. His eyes went white and he collapsed.

PFFFF.

“An amazing new party trick I learned, awesome, no?”. I put my hand on Aqua’s shoulder.

“Simply.. PFFF... Simply beautiful... Thank you Aqua”. So I turned to the king.

“Now then, where were we?”. With their last hope squashed, reality hit them.

“P-p-please... Mercy!”. Hmmm, did I go to far? I looked at Aqua, which was now carrying Megumin on her back, and both looked at me as if I was garbage. Maybe too far. Anyways, I can’t just send them back, I have no idea how will they attack next, even if they found out that Iris is doing fine. I accidentally humiliated their empire and their army... I have no choice.

“Then it is decided, your empire will fall under my rule...”. The face of the king and queen clearly showed that my statement was unexpected, same for Aqua and Megumin. “Unless you want those frogs to not only torment you and your army for the rest of you short lives, but for the empire with all its citizen to be visited by an even larger army of frogs.” I mean, I’m bluffing, but I have to try to scare them.

“WE SURRENDER! Please spare our nation!”. Yup, it worked.

“Then all of you will leave your weapons and armours right here, then go to Axel in order to commemorate this day and prove your loyalty”.

“Prove our loyalty?”

“Just go”.

After regaining some strength, the army did as they were told.

“So Kazuma, what they hell are you doing? And what do we now do will all this equipment?”. Hmmm, good question, I’m no sure myself.

“My lord!”.

“Ehhh, is that Vanir?”. A convoy of wagons was being led by Vanir. It quickly reached us.

“My lord, worry not, I’ll take care of this”. Don’t tell me...

“Vanir, you predicted this would happen?”. He smiled and made a money sign with his fingers.

“Perhaps, my lord”. Damn it Vanir. “And one detail, my lord”. I looked at him, confused. “Don’t forget your knight”. Oh shit, how long has she been keeping the frogs busy.

After rescuing Darkness and running away from the giant frogs, we went to the next army.

“Huh?... Ohhh... I have and idea”. Actually, two ideas. This is an area that I'm familiar with... But also scared to remember.

“Ahhh... Ahhh...”. I was running fast, just fast enough.

Stomp. Stomp. 

“I’m almost there”. I was reaching the top of a small hill, one among many in the area.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“There it is”. Right in front of me, an enormous army, the army of the Eris Church. It was much bigger than the army of the empire. Let’s hope this works.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“HERE WE GOOOOO!”. I screamed with all my strength and with the voice augmenting skill activated. It clearly worked since the entire army stopped and turn in my direction.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“Let’s do this”. I took of my shirt. This should get them riled up. And, as expected, the entire army looked in my direction, with a mix of confusion and as if they were seeing trash. Huh? I even felt Megumin and Darkness emanated the same emotions from the top of a nearby hill.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“AAAAAHHHH”. I ran towards the army at full speed, causing even more confusion.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“Huh?... What?... Wait...”. The army’s confusion quickly turned into fear and chaos, as tens of thousands of female orcs racing after me appeared in the army’s line of sight. As I ran into the army, while dodging the very few attacks from the soldiers that had kept their composure, I started hearing the clash between the out-of-control lustful orc and the soldiers who had just realized what hell they had entered.

“Lurk”. Now that the female orcs had a new target, it was time for me to disappear.

“Help!... Don’t grab that... I’m married... Ahhhh...”. The soldiers were getting a taste of the trauma that I felt back then. Hope they like it.

“Attack!!! Fight back!!! For Eris!!! Don’t fear them!!! Don’t fall into lust!!!”. Ohhh, I guess they didn’t lose their cool completely. They already started fighting.

Form twenty minutes, the battle kept raging, but the army won. They had fought the fearless and lustful trauma brought by the female orcs, admirably.

“Not going to lie, that was quite a battle. I must say, that the army of the Eris Church gained my respect”. I mean, three quarters were still standing strong.

“Kazu-trash...”. Yeah yeah. “That is nice of you, buuuuuuut, what now? I can’t nuke them, cause I already used it for today”.

“Kazu... Ahhh... Kazuma... M-m-maybe I should try luring them... Ahhh... Just thinking about it”.

“What is wrong with you? Haven’t you had for today with the giant frogs?”. Darkness blushed... So I guess that’s a no.

“Whatever, it is time for plan B”. Darkness and Megumin looked at me questioningly, so I pointed in the direction of the army, near the area where the defeated female orcs laid. “There”. Both of them looked carefully.

“Kazuma, who is that?”. A hooded figure emerged from the army, and sat on its knees next to one of the female orcs. “Kazuma, don’t tell me that’s”. Megumin was interrupted by a strange field quickly spreading around the hooded figure in question.

“Yup, that’s Aqua”. Similar to a situation we lived through a while ago, the female orcs stood up. Only this time, those orcs were radiating a soul crushing lust, which by itself took the nearby soldiers to their knees. Even from far away, we could feel the horror spreading through the entire army.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

It was a massacre. The female orcs were ruthless beyond imagination. The army was mercilessly defeated. It was drained of its vitality, its life force was crushed and the souls of the soldiers were sullied.

“Kazuma, I’m starting to think you’re worse that a demon lord”.

“What are you talking about, Darkness? This isn’t that crazy”.

“The fact that such depravity isn’t crazy for you, proves my point”. Maybe.

“Anyways, now the final touch. Darkness, please lure them away like you did with the frogs”.

“Ahhh... With pleasure”. Darkness rushed off, just as Aqua was arriving to our location.

“Hey, Kazuma, how did you like my healing magic? Divine, right?”. I looked that the depravity happening in the background.

“Yes, Aqua, simply divine”. Aqua giggled, then she puffed her chest. This goddess...

“LURE!”. We looked in the direction of Darkness. Huh? Nothing happened. Not even one female orc turned its attention towards her. I mean, the skill was working since the soldiers did react, although they were too weak to even move. Then Darkness looked at me. I bet she’s wondering what to do next. So I activated my voice enhancing spell.

“TRY IT AGAIN!”. Then, the entirety of the female orc stopped and turned in my direction. Shit. Don’t tell me they didn’t react to Darkness because she’s a female? Shit shit shit.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

“DAMN IT!!!”. I ran away at full speed. Although I could easily outrun the normal female orc, these demonic female orc were a different question.

“Ahhh... Ahhh... Ahhh...”. I made it.

“There you are Kazuma. What took you so long”. Damn you Aqua.

“Doesn’t matter... Ahhh... Ahhh... Let’s finish dealing with this army”.

We moved towards the leaders of the army. The eyes of every soldier were filled with horror. I bet that such believers never thought they would have to face such madness and depravity. Even the female warriors were caught in the chaotic rampage, probably attacked because they were defending their male counterparts.

“I finally meet you, daughter of the previous demon king”. I think that’s her.

“You... You... Usurper... After all my efforts to get my revenge on you...”. I kinda feel bad for her. “How... How did we get defeated so easily?... Why... Why did the goddess Eris let us fail so miserably?... I... I... I believed in her... We believed in her so fervently”. Well, I don’t now. “Why didn’t she help us before you launch the apocalypse with your depraved festival”. Now that’s a crazy exaggeration.

“Hahaha”. I couldn’t help my self. “Hahahahahaha”. Even my party was surprised, but I couldn’t hold it. “HAHAHAHAHAHA!”. Everything went quiet, no one seemed to understand my laugh, no one had expected it. “Let me tell you something...”. I made sure to talk very loudly, so that many could hear me. “I’m the demon lord of this world, and not even the heavens can stop me”. No one moved or talked. Everyone even stopped breathing.

A few seconds had passed, without the slighted sound, until I started moving towards the leader of the Eris Church army. She barely gathered enough energy to sit up, and now tried moving away from me. She barely managed to move a little. When I reached her, I grabbed her by the collar her armour and lifted her up.

“Nggghhh... What... What are you going to do to me? Will you humiliate me in front of everyone here?”. What is she even talking about. She was instinctively covering her breasts. Then, I felt a gigantic grin appearing on my face, further filling her eyes with horror.

“Even better...”. Her eyes went wide. “I’ll humiliate you and your entire army at the same time!”. Her eyes went even wider, while most of the soldiers in the area gulped audibly. “I am going to assimilate this army”.

“How dare you?!?!?! We may have been defeated, but we’ll never submit to you”. A wave of pride and honour spread throughout the nearby soldiers.

“Understood... They I’ll have your people... Your fiends... Your families...”. I mean this worked with the previous army, so maybe. “All of them will experience something worse than what happened to you today...”. Everyone gulped audibly again. “And I will let my army finish them off, unlike what I did today to all of you”. Now a wave of despair spread among the nearby soldiers.

Again they submitted... Again they left their gear... Again they marched towards Axel... And again Vanir appeared, that opportunist.

“My lord, I have a gift for you and your party”.

“What is it, Vanir?”. Vanir placed a few boxes in front of us.

“Only you will understand it... Use it well... My lord”. I don’t like this. Anyways, I opened the box.

“Good lord... Is this what I think it is?”. Vanir nodded. “And it is for what I think it is?” Vanir smiled... Damn it...

After finding the direction in which the Crimson Clan was advancing, I set up a teleport location and we waited for them to reach it. So we camped for around 30 minutes, just enough time to get... Prepared.

“Kazuma, are you sure about this?”. No Darkness, not really.

“Yes”.

“Are you dumb enough to think this will work?”. Damn you Aqua.

“Yes”.

“Isn’t this mocking my clan?”. What do you think, Megumin?

“Yes.”

“Mmmhh”. All three of them didn’t look convinced.

“Anyways, put it on and let’s get some practice”. I can’t believe I’m going to do this.

From far away, I saw the Crimson Clan approaching the teleport location.

“Everyone ready?”.

“Emmmh, Kazuma...”

“Too late, teleport!”.

“Wind”. The spot I chose had a lot of dust, which was perfect to start a small dust storm, just like an improvised smoke bomb.

“Who goes there?”. The dust started clearing, so it was time to shine.

“It is I, the one and only, the loved and feared demon lord, future ruler of Earth, Heaven and Hell”. I can barely contain my laughter.

“And I, the goddess of creation, no creation escapes my grasp, not water, not paper, not clay, not earth, NOTHING!”. That’s a hell of a way to describe party tricks. She loves them so much that she forgot being the goddess of water, heh. Talking about party trick, I forgot to ask her to make that one.

“And I, the master of destruction, the unstoppable force, all tremble under my power... Armies, mountains, cities, civilizations, angles, demons, gods...”. SMAKCK. “Uhhh, EVERYTHING!”. I had to smack her... She really loves long spells and long introductions.

“And I, the knight of resistance, the immovable object, no one is able to defeat my honour”. This one sounds plain stupid.

The dust had cleared, revealing us, posing in weird ways and wearing the cringiest and edgiest clothes that probably existed in this world. None of the crimson clan uttered a word. It seemed to be working.

I moved towards them, changing poses, until I got closer to them. Then I focused on an especially cringy pose, unique and renowned from my previous world.

“Are you seriously marching to attack me? To attack my city? To attack my people?”. The crimson clan seemed shocked. “Your clothes have no style...”. They looked pained. “Your spell casting is lame...”. Some of them put a hand on their chest, as if having a heartache...”. And for the finishing blow. “Your entire clan is uncool”. Some of the even dropped to their knees. “Heh, an uncool army is no threat to me”. I made a gesture, as if sweeping dust off my shoulder towards them. “Don’t waste my time”. Then I turned around. Turning my back to an extremely powerful enemy. I hope it works. I hope it works. I hope it works. I hope it works. I took a slow step towards my party. Darkness and Aqua were barely containing their laughter while Meguimin was extremely embarrassed.

“Please...”. Keeping my cool, I stopped dramatically, entered another pose and slowly twisted my body, dramatically, to turn towards the crimson clan. Huh? They were all on their knees. “Please teach us... M-m-my lord”.

“As if...”. I focused on being dramatic, it is now or never. “Do you all think you can do it?”. More dramatic. “Do you think you can achieve my skills?”. Ultra dramatic. “Do you think you can become true edgelords?!?!?!”.

“Yes... YES... And YES!!!!!!!!”.

“Then submit to me and I’ll show you da wey”. I heard Aqua let a small laugh spill out, then Megumin trying to say something but Darkness quickly shutting her.

“We submit”.

So I sent them to Axel.

Among all the armies set, the one from the Axis Church made the least sense. So, I’ll try talking to them. But first, we changed back to our normal clothes. As for these edgy clothes... I’ll have to destroy them later. There should be no memory or proof of their existence.

As the army approached, we simply stood on their path, menacingly. They stopped a few meters away from us.

“Axis Church, why are to aiming to attack Axel?”.

“Attack?”

“What?”

“We didn’t come to attack Axel”.

“Huh? Then why are you here?”

“We heard of the depraved festival that will take place in Axel, and wanted to join”.

“Ohhh”. Now this was anticlimactic.

So they also when to Axel.

We went back, triumphantly, to our mansion.

“That went better that expected”.

“Indeed Kazuma”.

“I agree, what a crazy day”.

“Big brother, what happened?”. Where to start?

“I’ll tell you everything, we have some more days till the festival, so I got more than enough time to tell you the details”. Iris was happy and eagerly waiting.

A few more days... A few more days till the festival... Even though I hadn’t planned to assimilate those armies, it will work in my favour... It will definitely help with the next phase of my plan.

Chapter Text

Today is the day.

“Kazuma, Kazuma”. That’s my name. “Everyone is ready, so let’s go. You’re supposed to be the one announcing the beginning of the festival”.

“Yeah yeah”.

So we left the mansion, only to see full streets.

“There are definitely a lot of people...”. Incredible. “And not only people”. You’re damn right, Megumin.

“Well...”. What now Darkness?. “We do have a few hundreds of thousands extra people in Axel”. Indeed we do. “We managed to quickly find places for them to stay and also added thousands of large tents all over the place, at any spot we found”. Incredible, they pulled off such a feat. “Luckily Vanir had a lot of supplies readily available”. Of course he did.

We reached the stage at the central plaza, so I climbed onto it. Today was the day, after all.

“Dear citizens of Axel...”. Everyone went quiet. “Today is the day that we celebrate!”. I’m glad to see that everyone dressed up with the special festival clothes. “As you ca see, not only numerous races joined...”. Apparently, being a demon king and the rumours of our wild exploits attracted individuals from all races, human and non-human. “But we were also joined by the empire, the Eris Church, the Axis Church and the Crimson Clan...”. Everyone looked amazed. “Some of whom we soundly beat...”. A small commotion started, are they not believing me again?. “Beaten in the nastiest and dirtiest ways possible”. Everyone was in awe. Damn you guys, now you believe me? Whatever. “So let’s all enjoy ourselves and celebrate all day and all night long. I want this to rile up even the heavens!!!”.

“Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!”

“And to make you all party well and enjoy the activities prepared, until the end of the festival, beer is free, enjoy!”

“KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA!”

I looked at my party.

“Lets go enjoy ourselves too”

“Kazuma, Kazuma”. Aqua looked... She looked... Absurdly happy. “Is beer really going to be free for the whole day?”. True, I didn’t tell any of them.

“Yes, yes it is, and I expect you to go blackout drunk and do the best... The wildest... The craziest party tricks that a goddess like you can manage”. Huh? Aqua ran away immediately. For the first time in her life, she was going to do exactly what I asked of her.

“But this is so unjust Kazuma, what am I supposed to do? All of you never allow me to even taste beer”.

“The thing is, today is the exception...”. Megumin’s eyes widened. “So go all out”. No stops today, for the plan to succeed.

“Megumin, Megumin, let’s see who can drink the most!”. Yunyun arrived right on time, already holding a few beers.

“I’ll show you!”. Now Megumin ran away with Yunyun.

I looked at Iris.

“No you don’t”. Darkness jumped between me and Iris.

“No I don’t what?”

“Iris is too young to drink and she’s a princess at that, so I won’t let you”. Darkness really doesn’t trust me.

“Hahaha, relax, I would never do that to my little sister”. I moved slowly and crouched next to Iris. “You wanted to learn new stuff about the world, no?”. Iris nodded. “Well today you will see everything that can be seen from humans and non-humans”. Iris looked confused. “Beer will show you all sides of them, from best to worst, it will be glorious”. Iris looked happy, very happy. “Especially when we get this toned bimbo drunk”. I pointed at Darkness.

“How dare you, Kazuma?”. Not the time to be furious.

So I approached Iris again.

“Iris, don’t you wanna see Darkness in all her glory?”. Iris nodded, Darkness reddened. “Don’t you want to see Darkness unleash her true self, and show you the essence of her very soul”. Iris nodded even harder while Darkness became red like a tomato. “DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE DARKNESS BREAKING BRICKS WITH THOSE ABS OF HERS!!!”. Iris was ecstatic, while Darkness had grabbed me by the neck.

“Damn you Kazumaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

“Re-nnnnhhhhggggnnhngggg-lax”

“Miss Lalatina...”. Darkness immediately stopped shaking me. “Calm down...”. Darkness obeyed. “And let’s start there”. The moment Darkness understood that Iris was pointing at a bar selling enormous beers, Darkness grabbed me by the neck again.

After Darkness calmed down, we still went to the bar in question, but decided to start with some other, more normal, drinks.

“Let’s order”. All three of us looked at the menu, then we signalled to the server of our choices.

“The caveman coffee for me, the mountaineer coffee for Darkness and a simple hot chocolate for Iris”

A minute had passed.

“There comes our order”. A snake-girl approached our table. She grabbed a cup with her hand and gave it to Iris, then she turned around and placed the cup she was holding with her butt right next to me, and finally she crouched near Darkness and waited to he to grab the drink. Thoroughly embarrassed, Darkness slowly took the cup stuck in the snake-girl’s breasts.

“I hate you Kazuma”. As if, she’s clearly loving it.

“Interesting, but what is it for?”. Iris, you’re so pure. “Isn’t is easier to pass it using the hands?”. Too pure, way too pure.

“Heh, see Iris, you still have a lot to learn. There is a functional component to this”. Iris was shocked, but not as much as Darkness. “Iris, grab my cup for a moment”. Iris grabbed it, still not understanding what was I talking about. “Isn’t its handle much warmer?”. Iris was in awe at the realization. “During winter, grabbing such cup feels incredible and very cozy”. Iris was amazed.

“But we’re in summer”. Damn it Darkness, read the room. Now Iris is looking at me, for another made up answer.

“In summer it simply feels nicer and let’s them practice for winter”.

“Ohhhhh”. Iris was in awe, while Darkness simply sighed heavily and continued drinking from her cup, which she was holding with both hands. Heh.

“See Iris, look at Darkness...”. Darkness stopped, with her cup already touching her lips. “While I can hold my cup by the specially warmed handle, Darkness’ cup was warmed all around it, that’s why she’s holding it like that, to feel all the warmth from it”.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. I was holding my laughter while Darkness tried killing me with her eyes.

“Anyways, we’ll drink the beers later, let’s go around first”. Both of them agreed.

No one was holding back, I see. As we walked around, almost everyone was sited or walking around with a beer in hand.

Huh?

“What’s the commotion?”. We moved in the direction of the people yelling, when we saw... Sheeeeesh, already?

“For the next party trick, I will make this coin disappear!”. Aqua pushed a coin into her closed hand, then opened it, and it had disappeared. “Voila!”. Since when did she start doing simple tricks? The crowd liked it but wasn’t impressed. “Ohhh, but where is it now?”. Ohhh, I see, she’ll pull it from behind someone’s ear. A classic. “You, I sense that the coin has chosen you”. The crowd and us looked at the target... Wiz? “Come here”. Wiz moved near Aqua. I hope Aqua isn’t using this as a pretext to annoy Wiz. “There!”.

SMACK.

What am I seeing? Dear lord. Aqua shoved her face into Wiz’ chest and after a few small movements, Aqua brought her face out of Wiz’ chest, smugly revealing a coin held by her teeth. Meanwhile, Wiz became beet red and hid her face with both of her hands.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. We were all in awe. And this was only the beginning of the festival... WAIT, don’t tell me she drunk so much that it is already having an effect on her? Whatever, I bet no one will notice.

“Emmm, Kazuma, isn’t her party trick a little unusual?”. Why today of all days is she so perceptive?

“I don’t kn-“

“Next party trick!”. We should move away, so that Darkness doesn’t notice, buuuuuuut, I’m intrigued. “What will happen to this key if I speed it too much?”. Aqua started spinning a key attached to a short chain. I spun faster and faster. It was spinning dangerously fast.

POP! 

It disappeared. “Where is it now?”. This time Aqua was the one to approach someone in the crowd. Everyone gulped. “You”. It was Luna, the receptionist. Everyone gulped much more heavily. “I sense it in you”. Luna instinctively covered her chest with her hands, but Aqua gave her a french kiss. “Nnnggghhgghh”. Everyone stopped breathing and focused all their energy into engraving the current sight into their memories. The kiss lasted a few seconds, even if it felt like an eternity, which many wouldn’t have minded lasted a little longer. “Nngghh”. Then Aqua, with a somehow even more smug expression, slowly moved her face away from Luna, pulling the recognizable chain with her tongue out of Luna’s mouth, while Luna collapsed on the ground.

“Kazu-“

“Anyways, let’s go check there”’. I’m definitely not going to try to explain that.

“Oh no, is that a storm approaching? Some heavy clouds are gathering over Axel”. That’s strange. “Weird, no one was even expecting there to be clouds at all today”. Exactly what I was thinking. “Look”. Darkness aimed at the crowd, which was looking up, clearly wondering if the festival was going to be ruined this quickly.

“Maybe we should ask Aqua, to see if she can do something about it”. Although in her state, nobody knows what she could pull off.

“Ohhhhh”. Huh?. “Look at that!”. Darkness pointed towards some red-violet magic circles forming near the stage at the center of the town. “Isn’t that-“.

“We’re screwed”. An impressively large spell flew towards the sky. “We’re sooooo screwed”.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Everything shook wildly. Almost like an earthquake.

As the explosion dispersed the clouds, the sun reappeared, shining through a clear blue sky. The clouds were completely gone. Did we just witness a drunk crimson wizard nuke the sky to stop a storm and continue getting drunk? Hehehe.

“Ohhh, Miss Lalatina, what is that?”.

“That’s...”. Come on, you know what it is. “It’s the...”. Say it. “It’s a parade of succubi”. Hell yeah it is. And it is quite a popular attraction.

“Their movement and their attitudes are so interesting”. That’s one way of putting it. “Do you act like that sometimes Miss Lalatina?”. PFFFF.

“W-w-why do you ask such a thing, Princess?”.

“So you’re not denying it?”. Iris, are you teasing her on purpose or actually serious?

“O-o-of course I am”. My turn.

“I knew you were!”. Iris looked like she had a realization.

“Stop confusing her Kazuma! I meant that I am denying it”.

“But her body says otherwise, doesn’t it Iris?”. Darkness was panicking, not knowing how to stop this conversation. Meanwhile Iris was nodding along.

“Any more challengers!?”. Huh? Is that... Heh, perfect timing.

“Iris, Darkness is too shy to act on her succubus fantasies, but there are also other sides of her...”. I felt Darkness’ eyes piercing through me. “Her incredible strength and resilience”. We both looked at Darkness. She was now fidgeting. Too easy. “What to see her in action?”.

“I would really really really love to”. Now Darkness can’t say no.

“Then Darkness should try that battle event”.

So there was Darkness, standing in something similar to a boxing ring, only this one was filled with mud. And in front of her, a Minotaur.

“Ready? Go!”. The crowd cheered.

Both were punching and pushing each other. Hilariously, the crowd wasn’t noticing that the failed punches from Darkness were not caused by dodges of the Minotaur or the slipperiness of the mud, rather her aim sucked.

Ring!

“You’ve got 10 seconds to finish this pitcher of beer”.

“Huh?”. Did she not hear the rules of the game?. “Whatever”. Darkness grabbed it, drank it and quickly went back to the centre of the ring to continue the fight.

“Kazuma, what is going on?”

“Iris, the winner is the one to get their opponent to fall on the ground. But, since we have very powerful beings in the city, we added that every minute of fighting, they have to drink, to weaken their capabilities. Plus it makes it more fun”.

After a few minutes, both were starting to lose balance.

BAM!... BAM!... BAM!.

“Amazing, Darkness is not only holding on, but has finally adapted to his movement, and is now hitting him directly!”

BAM!... BAM!... BAM!... BAM!... BAM!... BAM!...

“Darkness! Darkness! Darkness!”. This... This is... So.. So very so... Stupid... Hahahahaha.

“What is it Kazuma?”

“Nothing Iris”. Darkness was so drunk that her drunken vision was making her hit in the right spots by accident, hahahaha.

“And the winner is... Darkness!!!”.

“Kazuma, what do we do now? She’s barely able to walk”.

“Worry not, I got the right thing for her”.

Darkness started opening her eyes.

“Wakey wakey”

“Huh, what is going on Kazu-?”

“EVERYONE READY!?!?!?!”

“K-K-KAZUMA!!!” Indeed, Darkness was crucified again because she interrupted Aqua’s epic magic trick last time. But that wasn’t the only reason, there was also...

“YES, WE ARE READY!”. Thousands from the Axis Church were standing in front of Darkness, as they lifted up some stones.

“Wait, what are-“

“LAUCH!”. I yelled with all my might.

“Ahhh”. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. “Ahhh”. BAM. “Ahhhhhhh”. BAM. BAM. BAM. “Ahhh”.

“Big brother, is this alright?”

“Of course it is. It is a unique event to unite the Axis Church an have them participate, while also further training Darkness and her absurd defensive abilities”.

Crack Crack Crack.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.

BAAAAM!!!

Dear lord, the bombardment was so vicious that the cross broke and fell down.

“Hic”

I was carrying Darkness on my back as we continued looking around the city. I continued talking with Iris, about the succubi, the crazy shaped food, the dancing and the ridiculous activities.

“Big brother, everyone is certainly enjoying themselves and I’m learning a lot”. She smiled beautifully.

“They certainly are”.

“But, aren’t they all getting a little handsy?”

“No idea what you mea-“

BOOM! BAM! BANG!

“What the hell are they doing?”. The crimson clan was firing on all cylinders from the top of the city wall.

BOOM BOOOOOM BANG!

“Kazuma, people seem to be worried”.

BAM BAAAAAM BANG!

“A FINE DEMONSTRATION BY THE CRIMSON CLAN!!!”. I yelled with all my might, with the use of the skill that increase the talking range.

BOOOOM BOOOOOOOM!

“Ohhhhhhh”. Everyone seemed convinced. Good, now we should go see.

“What are you guys doing?!”. They were now celebrating something. But now they looked at me with confusion... Damn it, I didn’t ever want to have to do this in front of Iris... So I dropped darkness, did a full turn, made a pose aiming randomly at one of the crimson clan. “You, explain what just happened and why were you all launching spells”.

“Yes, my cool demon lord, there was a tornado heading straight for the city”. A tornado, what the hell? Here?. “And after Megumin’s display, we tried it too, and it worked!”.

“Amazing...”. These!. “You guys did a good job”. Awesome!. “Thank you”. Maniacs!... This is their reward... I put both of my hands up, slowly lowering along my body, as if I was pulling something from above, then abruptly stopped. “Simply... Ngggghhh... Glorious!”. One of my cringiest moves, just for you guys.

“Thank you, my lord!”. They all yelled in unison. Then they went back to join the festival.

“Ehhh, Iris...”. Now to face ridicule. “Forget what you just saw”. Then I turned towards her.

“What are you talking about big brother?”. Iris smiled elegantly. “You work hard to talk to your people in the way they understand the most”. Never though of it that way. “You clearly command respect. It is amazing”. The way Iris described it almost brought a tear to my eye.

We went on our way back to the festival.

“Kazuma!”. Chris was in the crowd, moving towards us.

“Hey Chris, what’s up?”. The moment she reached us, she looked down behind me, then at me.

“Should I ask?”. We both looked at Darkness, whom I was dragging by the hand.

“Look at Darkness’ perverted smirk and tell me she isn’t enjoying it”.

“A-a-anyway, there is something I need to tell you. You see-”.

“What the hell? Why is the sun suddenly so hot?”. Huh, indeed it feels as if the sun’s heat had suddenly jumped a few levels.

“Wait Chris, I need to find Aqua first. Here, stay with Darkness and Iris, I’ll be back soon”. I ran to where we saw Aqua last time.

People in the crowd were starting to worry that they should go back home. The sun was scorching. Strange.

“Oh, there... She is”. Thank god I didn’t bring Iris. Aqua was happily drinking while standing in a fountain, while surrounded by unconscious people she seemingly had performed party tricks on. Some had even torn clothes all over the body.

“Aqua”. I grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Ehhh? Ka... Zu... Trash.. Uma... Somo...Uoro...Ngghhh... Trash”. Heh, never seen her this drunk, even unable to formulate a sentence.

“You’re the goddess of water, can’t you do something about this scorching sun? Like maybe a fresh breeze, or something”.

“Uoooo...baaaa....mmmini?”. What the hell is she saying?

“Yes... Yyyyy...uuuu...aaaa...iiii....eeeesssss”. Aqua gave me the thumbs up. Seriously? That meant something to her?

After mumbling something, the entire city got covered in a light mist, that felt quite humid but incredibly refreshing under the scorching sun. Never seen her use magic like that.

“Wooohoooo!”. The crowds cheered as the festival continued. Good, now I’ll go back to Chris cause she seemed to have something important to say.

“Hey Chris...”. She turned around as I approached. “I’m... Back...”. I gulped.

“Hey... Huh? Why are you reacting like that?”. Chris looked at herself and panicked. The mist created by Aqua had started making the festival shirts a little more transparent.

“Calm down, Chris, that’s why the festival shirt goes with a light swimsuit or bikini underneath”.

“What a monstrous pervert, was this part of your plan?”

“Not exactly. It looks really good on you though”. Chris reddened of embarrassment. So cute.

“A-a-anyways, I have to tell you something important, before-“

“Hey what is that!!! Look, up there?!?!?!?”. Many people in the crowd started yelling.

“What the hell is that?”. Looked like a comet was flying towards Axel. But there was no panic, everyone understood it wasn’t a comet or asteroid. Something felt strange about it. 

“Chris...”

“It is too late, Kazuma”.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

We ran towards the impact location.

“Huh?”

A woman was standing on the main stage. She was astonishingly beautiful. Her hair, of a beautiful red like the morning sun with black streaks, was absurdly long, not only reaching her feet but extending way past that and covering a large portion of the entire stage. The crowd and I, humans and non humans, males and females, we were all in awe.

“God”. The first thing that came to our minds, the first word that left our mouths.

“Damn!”. The moment she moved forward, her leg came out of the long dress. No one managed to hold their reactions. That leg was the most perfect leg in existence. I bet the succubi will have a lot of leg fetish demands soon.

“I demand that the demon lord, Kazuma Satou, present himself in front of me, immediately!”. Don tell me... I guess is makes sense.

“Pardon, my lady...”. I saw Darkness’ father moved out of the crowd in order to ask elegantly and respectfully. “Would you at least preset yourself and tell us your intentions?”. No one in the crowds moved or continued with the festival, instead everyone was waiting for her reply. I bet they are wondering who could this unknown, powerful and majestic being be?

“Teehee”. I knew it, they are all weirdos.

“Huh?”. The crowd collectively let out a sound of confusion.

“I present myself, I’m the supreme sun goddess Etheria!”. I looked back, Chris was gone. “And I demand to see immediately the one who has started to destabilize this this world”. Oh, probably that’s what Chris wanted to alert me of. “No only he took control of the various groups of this world by dirty and immoral means...”. What the hell is she talking about?. “But he launched a unnatural and depraved festival”. Indeed I have. Huh?

Every one in the crowd was nodding, not surprised at all. The even seemed proud of the things I did. When did I become this amazing? I guess I should walk out of the crowd and face that goddess.

“He even...”. I stopped, something didn’t feel right. “Corrupted two of the goddesses in charge of this world!”. Huh? Suddenly the aura of the crowd changed. Immediately, the crowd found out my location and surrounded me.

“Guys, calm down”. Every one of the had a murderous glare on them. Gulp. After all, all of them believed in some goddess. Damn, they are all ready to destroy me, is this how it ends?

“Look at them!”. We all looked in the direction of the goddess when two flashes occurred on either side of Etheria.

“Emmmh”. Chris, I mean Eris, was standing there, in her goddess outfit... Buuuuut... It was completely soaked. It stuck on her, revealing her subtle but beautiful body. Did her outfit as Chris transform into this one? Anyways, it was quite sexy. The moment she realized, she became embarrassed and covered herself with her hands. This made her look even sexier.

“Woooooooooooo”. A large part of the crowd cheered. Certainly they were Eris followers.

“Bleeegghhhh”. On the other side was Aqua, also in some more goddessy uniform, maybe enough for people not to realize she was in my party. She was on the ground, somehow holding a beer and vomiting. “What... Hic... The... Bleeeeggghhh... Hell?”. She was clearly lost and completely unaware of the current situation. “Let’s all... Hic... keep the party going?!”.

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!”. Looks like the followers of the Axis Church were liking what they were seeing.

Eh? Everyone turned back in my direction and rushed towards me. I don’t get it? Did I go too far? Is this the end? I closed my eyes, but then felt as if I was being thrown in the air.

“KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA!”

“Such senseless and foolish behaviour!”. Etheria was having none of it, but the cheers didn’t stop. The cheers actually grew louder.

“KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA! KAZUMA!”

“ENOUGH!!!”. Her furious scream was deafening, so everyone stopped and a silence invaded the city. “If no reason or storms can stop this behaviour, I’ll have to deal with this myself”. Her eyes change colour, the air darkened, the entire city started to tremble and a skill was building up in her hand. I had never seen something this terrifying.

“Please madame Etheria, you’re overreacting”. Eris approached Etheria carefully.

“Overreacting?!?!?!?! After all he did to the world and to you two? How can you justify that?”. Eris was stuck, she didn’t know what to say.

“Sim... hic... Ple... Hic”. Should I run away before Aqua tries to help me by throwing me under the bus?. “Look at this world... Hic”. Huh?. “They were stuck... Hic... In some stupid fight... Hic... With the... Blegh... Demon lord, for a long long long... Hic... long time... Hic”. She’s making sense?. “How about... Hic... We let them... Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeegh... Enjoy something different for a while”. It was a strange feeling, to hear such words from someone vomiting every few sentences.

“I... Guess... But I’m really no sure”. Etheria was changing her mind? Am I safe?

“Even though Kazuma is a renown... Hic... pervert, and is probably... Hic... engraving every single inch of your body into his brain... Hic... ”. Yeah, no, I’m dead now. “Look at... Bleeeeeeeeeeeegh... Look at all he has achieved... Bleeeeegh”.

“I... I can see what you mean... But...”.

“Anyways... Hic... After all... Hic... this is the system you created...”. Is she talking about sending maniacs with power-ups to this world?. “So let it continue with the flow... Hic”.

“Hmmmmm...”

“I agree madame Etheria, this world hasn’t been the same since his arrival”.

“Hmmmmmmmmmm...”

“So lets... Hic... Stop yapping about trivial stuff... Hic... And join us in this... Hic... Monumental festival... Hic”.

“I... I couldn’t...”. Is she getting... Fidgety?

“ETHERIA! ETHERIA! ETHERIA! ETHERIA! ETHERIA! ETHERIA! ETHERIA!”. The crowd was cheering her to join.

“You guys...”. Is this really happening?

“Hic... You should join... Hic... Beer is free until the end of the festival”. Something dangerous lit up in Etheria’s eyes... Ohhhh shit.

“Ohhh... I see...”. Maybe I was wrong. “Then... LET’S PARTYYYYYYY!!!!”. I feel like we just opened the gates to heaven and hell.

“WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”. Everyone cheered ecstatically.

Even though I wanted to create such mayhem at this festival, even spiking the beers with succubi pheromones, in order to troll the heavens because they screwed with my reward for killing the demon lord... I never expected this to happen.

Somewhere in heaven, a girl appeared in front of a goddess, thinking how incredibly lustful that goddess’ thighs were.

“Welcome lost soul...”. The goddess spoke gently. “You may have had a crazy life but it was unfortunately shortened by fate”.

“Yeah...”. The girl looked sad by the realization of what was happening.

“So why not join a new world...”

“Huh?”. The girls was surprised.

“A world in need of someone like you... A world dominated by a demon lord...”. The goddess’ facial expression stiffened momentarily. The mention of the demon lord reminded her of that humiliating day in which she fell into his trap, got black out drunk and did unthinkable things. “That wretched festival”, she whispered to herself.

“Emmm, are you alright”. The goddess came back to reality and smiled gently again.

“Yes... And... You will be able to chose an amazing skill among the recently heavily expanded list of skills, in order to save the world in question... Are you up to it?”. Then the goddess threw the cards in the air and these stayed in the air, levitating in an organized manner.

“Wow, so many wild skills... Mmmmmh, what kind of demon lord is it?”

The goddess put a finger on her own mouth, thinking of the best way to describe the demon lord Kazuma.

“He is fierce, cunning, and lustful. He’s a demon lord as ruthless as he is perverted... So choose wis-“.

“This one”. A creepy smile appeared on the girl’s face.

“I like where this is going”. An even creepier smile appeared on the goddess’ face.

THE END

Thank you all for reading this fanfiction. This started as a random idea I had immediately after finishing the light novels, then some people enjoyed it, so I came back to it in order to develop it further. Did you all enjoy it? Did you expect the ending? What skill do you think the girl chose? Did Darkness really break bricks with those sexy abs of her? Do you think the original author could maybe create a special episode with this concept? Heh, I wish. Anyways, thanks again for your interest and support. Cheers :D