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Growing up in the underground one learned to take care of themselves early on, if you were one of the kids fortunate enough to make it to an age where you could keep a good grip on a knife, take a punch and swing back up. It was no different for you, your mother dying before you could even remember her face. Your uncle deciding another mouth to feed wasn't worth it, ended up selling you to one of the men in the market not long after you turned six. That man although cruel gave you work. He would sell stolen items from the city above at the market and when his son passed from the same sickness that had taken your mother, he needed someone new to steal from above ground. Something you found you were good at after a little training.
You still remembered the first time you had stepped foot out of the underground, and the sun touched your face for the first time. Your eyes burned and it had taken you a while to adjust, and before you rushed back with what you stole, you swore to live up there happily when you grew up. And it was that promise that pushed you through all your days in the dark, the dream of living under the warmth of the sun, swearing to never fall into darkness again.
One day after sneaking back into the underground towards the market area, where the man who was taking care of you was waiting, a boy crashed into you. You both fell to the ground, and before you could stand, he shoved you back down, grabbed your bag and continued down the ally away from the market.
"Hey!" You called out as you stood, two men then shouted from the entrance to the ally and you noticed the flicker of a knife as they darted in your direction. Assessing the situation quickly you spun on your heel and ran after the boy. "Wait!" You shouted after him. He was quick in his turns clearly used to loosing his pursuers but you managed to keep up with him and eventually you were close enough to grab his shirt and pull him back. Not quick enough to see the knife diving for your face, slicing across your cheek and slamming into the wall as you were pushed against it. His eyes widened as they locked with yours and he blinked at you for a few moments before letting you go.
His name was Levi, and he made off with your goods that day, not that it mattered. The men from the ally recognized you as the child the man from the market took in and had returned to his house looking for whatever the boy had stolen from them, thinking you were associated with the other child, and when the man didn't give them the answers they wanted. They slit his throat. You found him slumped on the floor in the center of the room, his hands still holding his neck with lifeless eyes. And you turned and left the man behind, never bothering to even learn his name.
Selling anything you stole was much harder as a child, people found it easier to steal from someone smaller then themselves and you were soon mending new scars and hiding in alleyway. Your dreams crushed.
You met the boy a second time when you felt someone kick your leg. Your eyes snapping open and you stood abruptly, a knife ready. The boy seemed unfazed and motioned for you to follow him. His name was Levi, you learned and he had introduced you to a man you had seen around before, Kenny. He had been confused at first, then became agitated when Levi insisted he teach you as well, until he eventually reluctantly agreed after you spent the months tailing them around the underground, becoming their shadows wherever they went, and the older man became infuriated.
"Don't make emotional attachments." Was something he'd remind you when you found yourself wrapping Levi's new bruises, or when Levi after Levi would take a punch for you during a fight. But you still found yourself jumping into fights when Levi seemed to be loosing, or starting to see him as a friend when he gave you some of his food, something that often ended with Kenny smacking the backs of your heads in disappointment, however after a year, you laughed it off, catching them both off guard, and you were just as shocked, the sound was foreign to you just as it was to them. Kenny laughed all the time, his sly remarks a part of your lifestyle, Levi slowly inheriting his sense of humor, but the boy never smiled, nor had you ever heard him laugh.
Kenny had since then watched you more closely and one day when you walked with him back towards the market, you spotted Levi in the center of a crowd beating a man down as everyone watched. You quickly moved forwards to join his side when Kenny placed a hand on your shoulder.
"He'll find his own way, he has to," was all he said before taking your hand, pulled his hat down over his face and turned away.
A sudden movement in the corner of your eye snapped you back into attention, the familiar hiss of ODM gear going passed you and you swung into action. It had been years since you had thought of the boy you lived with briefly in the underground and you scolded yourself for allowing his name to cause you to loose focus out on the field. Kenny had kept his gaze on you for a few moments after mentioning that humanities strongest while coming up with the plan, a name you both had kept out of your mouths, while around each other though, you knew he talked about the boy he had shortly raised to others.
While taking your positions you had reassured him you were focused and he had laughed it off with a, "You better be, or you'll be kicking the bucket sooner than I will brat."
Gun fire came from behind you and you swung yourself over the roof you had been waiting at, the wagon with the two targets coming around the corner just as predicted and right behind it, another figure fighting off two of your comrades. You shut your mind off as you felt the wind against your face, the force of your gear pushing you up into the air blocking his way forwards. You lifted your gun barrel, aimed and just as you fired he swung under you, the sudden movement catching you off guard and you turned immediately, his movements swift and if you were an average soldier you'd have found it hard to keep up with him as he moved under carts to avoid the rapid fire he was under. You held your fingers off the trigger, pushing yourself faster as you kept up with his movements until you found an opening.
"Stop holding back!" Kenny shouted from behind you, "he's already killed a handful of us." He added as he moved passed you, his shots missing as Levi turned into an ally abruptly. You growled and pushed farther, everyone firing rapidly and you took your aim, watching as he slid down a plank and fired.
Blood sprayed as your bullet grazed his face, he didn't slow and adrenaline of hitting him sent you firing after him as he dove forwards into a bar. You moved to follow when Kenny whistled and you swung yourself onto a roof around it.
"Who is this guy?" one of your comrades asked as he caught his breath beside you. Your eyes darting from the doors to the windows, scanning for any fast movements, as Kenny taunted Levi as he walked inside.
"That's the Scout's Levi," you mumbled, the name sliding off your tongue oddly, Something in the back of your mind was screaming at you. He changed just as much as you had since you had last seen him. He had made it out of the underground just as Kenny had predicted, although you suspected many times that the older Ackerman wished the boy had died when you both abandoned him. No emotional attachments, you reminded yourself for all those years, however after hearing about his achievements in the Survey Corps, whenever someone with dark hair passed you found yourself staring, hoping and waiting for them to turn, call you like he used to and hold you in his arms.
You shook your head to focus for the second time that day, Kenny had given you what you had always wanted, you owed him.
A shotgun sounded and someone flew out of the front doors. The person's hat sliding down onto his face. Everyone's guns immediately going up and you clicked your tongue in annoyance, "Halt! That's the commander," you yelled for everyone around.
"Watch the wi-" before you could finish your warning, Levi burst through a window, gear hissing as he cut down two of your men. You snapped into action. Your comrades guns quickly going off and you cursed. "Think before you fire," you growled and watched as the wire of his gears shot into the face of the man before you, your eyes locking. You raised your gun, aimed at his head but hesitated before firing. The one second pause giving him enough time to move out of the way and move onto an adjacent roof. Your hesitation costing the lives of two more men he cut down.
"Shit," you cursed as you passed the men's dead bodies close in pursuit firing after him. He moved to the right to avoid the bullets allowing you to move in beside him. He was missing one of his blades, you noticed, and seizing the moment, you tackled him.
You both crashed into the wall, you grabbed onto his arms before he could get himself another blade, the struggle sending you both onto the top of a market stall. Rolling onto the ground harshly, your ears rang and you blinked the dizziness that took over your vision. A dark figure limping his way towards you and you forced yourself onto your knees, new cartridges loaded swiftly and you lifted your guns up blocking his blade as he swung down his eyes widening as he took in your face, his eyes suddenly widening.
"You-" he started and swung your legs under his knocking him down, he crashed onto his back with a grunt and you pinned his arm down and aimed your gun at him again.
"I won't hesitate this time," you gritted out, but your hands shook. "I won't... I can't.." you said adjusted your grip on your gun, your eyes never leaving his. His face, now marked by blood from your bullet, was the same one you had once considered a friend. And you suddenly smiled at him as tears built up in your eyes.
"You need to go," you laughed, your hands shaking as you took a few steps backwards, and he stood up quickly, silent words passing through the both of you, questions left unspoken as he picked up his blade, his gear giving a hiss as he disappeared into the sky.
"Fuck!" you screamed into the empty alley, frustration and guilt twisting in your chest. You had let him go.
"What am I doing?" you whispered, staring down at your trembling hands.