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Chapter Text

Nie Huaisang had always been able to pull anything he wanted from his sleeve, he never realized how far this ability went. Not until Wei Wuxian found out.

Reviving Wei Wuxian was a necessary part of Nie Huaisang’s revenge. This does not mean he doesn’t regret it sometimes. This is one of those times, Wei Wuxian had arrived and was now bothering Nie Huaisang from completing some important work, painting his new fan.

“-and then Lan Zhan cut his dick off. Isn’t that wild?!” Wei Wuxian continues.

“Uh-huh.” Nie Huaisang agrees, trying to focus on his painting.

“What are you painting?” The other man asks as he leans on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder.

“The mountains of Qinghe.” The Nie Sect Leader responds with his tongue stuck out to focus.

“Oh. Can you get us something to eat?”

A loud sigh echoes through the room as Nie Huaisang sets down his brush and reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a steamed bun. He shoves the bun into Wei Wuxian’s mouth and goes back to painting.

It takes him a few moments to realize that his guest has been abnormally silent, “Wei-xiong?”

This seems to bring the other man out of his thoughts, “Nie-xiong? How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

Wei Wuxian motions at Nie Huaisangs sleeve, “That thing. The pulling out still fresh food.”

“Oh.” Nie Huaisang says in realization, “I've always been able to do that.”

“And what is ‘that’ exactly?”

"Pull things out of my sleeve, Wei-xiong."

Wei Wuxian's eyes narrow, "What kind of things?" He asks suspiciously.

Nie Huaisang raises an eyebrow, "Whatever I want." 

Wei Wuxian's eyebrows furrow and he continues to stare at Huaisang. His eyes move between his face and sleeve, Nie Huaisang can see an idea forming behind those eyes and isn't sure how he feels. The ideas the other man comes up with are either great or terrible. For example, shaving off Grandmaster Lan's beard, was great, Demonic Cultivation, on the other hand, was a terrible idea. So was the Yin Tiger Tally, Breaking into a Wen labor camp and making off with the Wen's without explaining himself, surgically giving his Shidi his golden core, and so on.

"What are you planning?" He asks hesitantly.

Wei Wuxian stays quiet for a few beats before opening his mouth, "What have you pulled out of there before? Money? Drinks?"

"Uhm.. yes and yes. I have also pulled out fans, why are you asking?"

"Can you pull out, let's say, a full meal? Like a roasted chicken?"

Nie Huaisang pauses and finally looks up from his painting, "A what?"

Wei Wuxian smiled like he hadn't said the stupidest thing, "A roasted chicken." He repeats.

."No? Why would I?" Nie Huaisang asks bewildered.

"Try it? For me?" Wei Wuxian leans in close and bats his eyes.

Huaisang grimaces and shoves his face away, "Ok! Just don't do that." He agrees and reaches into his sleeve. When he pulls his hand out he is holding a whole roasted chicken.

"What?"

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian breaks into maniacal laughter.

"You can!" He cheers. "You really can!"

Huaisang stares at the man, still holding the whole roasted chicken he had just pulled out of his fucking sleeve.

Wei Wuxian grins, it looks unhinged, "What else do you think you can pull out? Maybe a full teapot?"

"A full teapot?! Wei-xiong, why the hell would I be able to do that?!" 

A pointed look at the whole roasted chicken, "Well..."

"No. I refuse to believe that. It doesn't exist." Denial was always Huaisang's best friend.

"But think about it Nie-xiong! What else would you be able to do if you could pull out a teapot? Maybe something big!" The crazed maniac exclaims next to him.

Huaisang sighs and finally sets the chicken on the table, "If I do this, and nothing happens, will you never ask me to do this again?"

"I promise! But..." The absolute psycho smiles, "If it does work you have to continue experimenting with me!"

Nie Huaisang weighs his odds before nodding and reaching into his sleeve, he digs around a bit and then feels his hand grab something cold and handle-shaped. No way.

It must show on his face because Wei Wuxian starts to cackle, "C'mon, pull it out!"

Nie Huaisang closes his eyes and slowly pulls his hand out, he doesn't open them until he hears Wei Wuxian crowing in victory, "I was right! I was right!"

He finally opens his eyes and sees the ugliest fucking teapot in the world.

No, no, this was not happening, not to him, not to Nie Huaisang. He was innocent, he had never done anything wrong in his life (he ignores the small voice that sounds like Meng Yao). Why was he cursed, why did he have to go along with Wei Wuxian's ridiculous idea, he was a Sect Leader, and he did not need to go along with this. He could have kicked the other man out and never co-operated, now he was a test subject.

Da-ge, help me, he cries to the heavens. A single tear slides down his cheek as the mad, evil Yiling Patriarch cheers in the background.

Chapter Text

It takes a while for Wei Wuxian to calm down. Once he finishes his deranged cackling, he drags Nie Huaisang outside to the nearest courtyard. Nie cultivators watch the duo before continuing their tasks, they are used to these antics.

“Wei-xiong? Why are we outside?” The dread must be obvious in his voice based on the unhinged smirk sent his way.

“Why Nie-xiong, you promised to let me test your sleeves.” The smirk seems to get wider.

Oh no…

Wei Ying claps his hands and pulls Huaisang into the middle of the courtyard, “Now! Let’s try something bigger!”

“Bigger?” Huaisang wimpers

“Oh Yes!” Maniacal glee takes over his face, “Like… a tray with a set of full tea cups.”

The other man blinks at the crazed demonic cultivator, “That is too big for my sleeve, Wei-xiong.”

“Just try it!”

Nei Huaisang sighs and reluctantly reaches a hand into his sleeve, almost immediately he feels cold metal brush his fingers. He can feel his eyes widen and face pale rapidly, across from him, Wei Wuxian’s grin gets almost inhumanly large.

Slowly, he pulls the tray out of his sleeve, once fully out he can see what it holds. 2 full teacups and a plate of cookies sits on top, almost innocent looking.

Huaisang sways, a little faint, “what the fuck,” his voice is quiet and hysteric.

“What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK! WEI-XIONG WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

Wei Wuxian reaches out and rests a hand on the other man's back, a little concern creeping onto his face, “Deep breathes Nie-xiong, deep breaths.” he soothes the man.

It takes some time for Huaisang to calm down, but once he is Wei Wuxian begins to explain his theory behind his sleeves.

“I think that, somehow, your sleeves have managed to gain some kind of ability to get you whatever you want. And, hold whatever you want, it is like a qiankun pouch, but stronger.”

The other nods along slowly, processing the words, “So… my sleeves are GOD?!”

Wei Wuxian starts to laugh again, “Maybe! Now, let's see what else it can do!”

Huaisang seems to accept his fate as a guinea pig for the notorious Yiling Patriarch. “Okay, Wei-xiong, what next?”

“Me.”

“...”

“What.” It was not a question.

Wei Wuxian begins to cackle, yet again, “Try to pull me out of your sleeve!”

Nie Huaisang begins to panic, “What if you get hurt? Or die! Hanguang-jun would kill me!”

“Haha! Nie-xiong, you worry too much!” He teases the panicked man. 

“YOU’RE TOO RELAXED!”

“Haha, ok, ok, we can try something else.” He concedes and starts to think for a few moments, a hand coming up to his chin. “How about a… chicken.”

“I’ve already pulled chicken out of my sleeve.”

“No, silly! A living chicken. You know, the ones that go Bwak Bwak.” He starts to mime a chicken walking, with the wings and all.

“...living?”

“Just try!”

A loud sigh rings through the courtyard, and Sect Leader Nie reaches into The Sleeve™ and holds his breath. He wiggles his finger around and starts to relax when he does not immediately feel feathers. The relief only lasts for a few seconds before he is poked by something sharp, an ear piercing scream rings through the air. 

“WEI-XIONG SOMETHING POKED ME!” As he is yelling, he rips his hand out and three hens fly out. In his panic at the sudden appearance of poultry he starts to wave his arms and cry louder, as he is flapping his arms a fully grown rooster falls out and to the ground.

The yelling goes on for a few minutes before Wei Wuxian steps in and starts to calm down the Head Shaker, for the nth time.

“Nie-xiong, it's just some birds, all is well.” He continues to comfort the screaming man.

“Just some BIRDS?!” Huaisang yells, “I pulled them out of my FUCKING SLEEVE!”

“Yeah you did, but imagine what else you can pull out.” He tries to distract him.

Huaisang takes a few moments to calm down before asking, “Like what?”

“Well, maybe you can pull people from your sleeve. That would be funny, imagine their faces!”

Huaisang takes a few moments to imagine the shock on their faces and chuckles, “Yeah that would be funny.”

“So, lets try it!”

“...ok, BUT! I will not be held responsible if they die or get injured.”

“That's fine.” Wei Wuxian agrees quickly, “Now do it!”

“Who should I try?”

“LAN ZHAN!”

“You want to risk your husband like that?”

“Nothing bad will happen.”

Huaisang shrugs and decides to just go with the flow, he slowly reaches into his sleeve and almost immediately feels, what seems like, human hair? He quickly pulls his arm out of his sleeve, and not even two seconds later, Lan Wangji lands gracefully. He doesn’t even look bothered at being in a random location and falling from the Nie Sect Leader’s sleeve.

“Lan Zhan!’ Wei Wuxian launches himself at the stoic man, “It worked! You came out of Nie-Xiong’s sleeve!”

“Hn.”

The other man takes a look around the courtyard, trying to process how he got into this situation.

“Wei Ying.”

“Oh! Lan Zhan, Nie-xiong and I were experimenting with his magic sleeves!” When he says ‘magic’ he waves his hands around like a street magician.

“Hn.”

“Yes! Magic! I was shocked too!”

Nie Huaisang looks between the couple, trying to follow the seemingly one sided conversations. He was clueless as to how Wei Wuxian was able to translate the noises his robotic husband made.

“Uhm.. Wei-xiong, Lan-xiong? Am I done here?” He asks hopefully, taking a few steps away from the two men. Maybe Lan Wangji will distract his husband.

Wei Wuxian spins around quickly, his ponytail hitting his husband in the face. “Oh no, Nie-xiong! We still have more things to test!”

AHHHHHHH! The victim screams in his head.

“Now! What else should we try, especially now that we know you can pull living beings out of it.” The man looks a little wild around the eyes, “Maybe, someone dead?”

“...dead? Like Wen Ning?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head, “No. I was thinking, like, someone that died a few years ago.”

Nie Huaisang blinks before the blood rushes out of his face rapidly, “HUH?!”

“Wei-xiong, that's crazy! You want me to pull corpses out of my sleeve?! Hanguang-jun, tell him he is crazy!”

The Lan cultivator blinks slowly in Huaisangs direction, he does not look at all affected by his husband's crazy idea. Although he is probably used to them at this point.

“Wei Ying.”

“You two have so little faith in me, I meant pulling the dead out of your sleeve but they are not dead.” He tries to explain his thoughts to the two men.

Both of the men tilt their heads in confusion, “What?” Nie Huaisang asks.

Wei Wuxian groans loudly, “This is harder to explain, than I thought.” He takes a few moments to collect his thoughts before trying to explain, “Like, pulling out someone that is dead, but they are alive. Like right before they died.” He tries again.

“Like, resurrection?” Huaisang tries to understand what he is saying.

“YES! Like resurrection!” The black-clad man cheers.

“That is crazy! What if I just pull out their corpse?!”

“Well…” Wei Wuxian smirks in Huaisangs direction, “We won’t know unless you try. Right, Lan Zhan?”

“Hn.”

Huaisang takes a few moments to hype himself up. What's the worst that could happen? He asks himself, before abandoning that train of thought fast. There was so much that could go wrong.

“Ok, ok, let’s do this. Who should I try?”

“Oh.. uhm that is hard, maybe someone we both know?”

Huaisang thinks for a few moments before nodding, he knows who he will summon. If this goes well, Wei-xiong will be happy.

He slowly reaches into the Sleeve™, he wiggles his hand around for a few moments before he brushes against fabric. He sends a small prayer to the heavens and p

ulls his arm out. It seems that the Heavens heard his prayer and granted it, as a living person falls out of his sleeve.

“Huh?” Jiang Yanli asks, confused.

Bwaaaak One of the Hens calls out, and runs up to investigate the woman that just appeared.

Chapter Text

“Shijie?” A shaky voice calls out.

The recently revived woman looks toward the speaker and smiles politely, “Ah, hello, would you happen to know how I got here?”

This is the moment Huaisang realizes one small detail: Wei Wuxian is inhabiting the body of Mo Xuanyu, and Jiang Yanli does not recognize him. Thinking fast, Huaisang reaches into his sleeve, hoping for something to fix this mistake before Wei-Xiong gets sad and Lan Wangji kills him for it.

He wiggles his fingers and does not feel anything, he pulls his hand out fast. Once his hand had fully exited his sleeve, a cloud of smoke covered Wei Wuxian’s body.

Cough Cough “Wha-” A deeper voice rings out, Huaisang can see the other two react to the new voice. Lan Wangji perked up and started to wave the smoke away, and Jiang Yanli stood up and looked toward the voice with shiny eyes.

“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji’s voice almost sounded hesitant.

“Lan Zhan?” It took a few more seconds for the smoke to clear, and once it had, it was revealed that Wei Wuxian was back in his pre-death body.

“A-Xian?” A feminine voice called out

“Shijie..”

While everyone had their reunion, Huaisang’s gaze was drawn to the body lying on the ground next to Wei Wuxian.

Mo Xuanyu?

Huaisang rushes over to the prone form lying on the ground and crouches down next to it, he reaches out a shaky hand and brushes the hair out of the way to better see the face. It was Mo Xuanyu!

“Xuanyu?” He whispers as he shakes the other man's shoulders, ignoring the sudden silence from behind him, “Xuanyu? Wake up!”

“Ugh- wha-” Mo Xuanyu’s eyes crack open and he sees the Nie Sect Leader, for a second he closes his eyes before they fly open, “Huaisang?!”

“Xuanyu!” The other man cries and pulls Xuanyu into his arms, “It is really you!”

A throat clears from behind him, “Uh, Nie-xiong?”

Huaisang turns his head to see the trio behind him, “Yes?”

He can see Wei Wuxian hesitate before speaking, “Not to ruin your reunion, but could you do a few more things?”

Huaisang blinked a few times, Wei-xiong was weirdly subdued. Although, glancing a Jiang Yanli, maybe he had good reason to be. Giving a small nod, he rises from the ground, still holding onto Mo Xuanyu, “Yeah, who else?”

“Qing-jie and your brother,” He glances at his sister before adding, almost reluctantly, “The peacock too, I suppose.”

Jiang Yanli’s face lights up at those words, “A-Xian,” she sounds happy.

Huaisang nods and maneuvres enough that he can get into his sleeve without separating from Mo Xuanyu, who has been weirdly quiet. He sticks his hand into his sleeve and thinks about the three people, once he feels fabric brush against his hand, he pulls it out.

Three people hit the ground with a thud.

Chapter Text

“Ow,” Wen Qing says while rubbing her head. She looks up and spots Wei Wuxian. “Wuxian?”

“QING-JIE!” He exclaims while lunging at her for a hug. 

While the duo hug and get lost chatting and catching up with each other, Jiang Yanli helps her husband off og the ground. Once Jin Zixuan is standing he tugs Yanli into a tight hug, “Yanli! What is going on?”

“A-Xuan!” The woman hugs back just as tightly, “Nie Huaisang brought us back.”

“...Huaisang?” He asks skeptically.

“Hey! I did bring you back, don’t sound so skeptical!” Huaisang yells from where he is standing with Mo Xuanyu. “Show some appreciation!”

“Ah… apologies.”

Huaisang sighs and waves a hand at the man, “You are welcome.”

“Huaisang?” A deep voice comes from behind him.

Nie Huaisang jumps at the sudden voice and turns around, pulling Xuanyu behind him. He pauses once he sees the person the voice came from, “..Da-ge?”

Nie Mingjue takes a few steps toward Huaisang, “Huaisang, is that you?”

“Da-ge… Da-ge!” He runs towards the man and hugs him tightly, “It’s you!”

“Huaisang! You’re older!”