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Who would make him better if Nick wasn’t there?
Charlie had just made his second lap around the edges of the room when he finally spotted Nick. He only caught sight of his hair, but Charlie knew it was him immediately. He was pretty sure he’d recognise any part of Nick, from however far away. The image of his boyfriend was forever tattooed in his mind.
He had to push past a few people to get a bit closer, but he was soon rewarded with the profile of his beautiful boyfriend.
He was talking to someone else, they were much shorter than Nick, so he was bent down in order to have a conversation. They had long, long, curly brown hair and from what Charlie could see, a very pretty looking profile to their face. Nick must have said something funny and they laughed, a bright wide smile, as they put their hands on Nick’s chest.
Charlie fought against the green eyed monster attempting to take him over. He always assumed that anyone who laid eyes on Nicholas Nelson wanted him and that was just a fact of life. Nick was one of those beautiful from the inside out type of people and that came across immediately when talking to him. Still, it was hard to watch Nick bring such joy to someone else. He knew his boyfriend wasn't flirting, it was just his nature to be friendly, open, and warm to anyone who talked to him. Other people didn't know, other people didn't get it. Charlie did.
Nick would never—
“Chaaarrllieeeee,” an annoying voice said in his ear, interrupting his thoughts, and he shuddered at the sound. Harry had come over and just like a drunk Christian had, put his arm around Charlie’s shoulder, pulling him closer.
They weren't friends with Harry, not in the least, but he was far less antagonistic with either of them. Once it was proven that their couple status only made Nick (and by default Charlie) a thousand times more popular, suddenly Harry was a true and steadfast ally. While it was very pretentious and annoying, Charlie preferred it over the alternative of being bullied by him.
“Comin’ to collect your man?” Harry asked, gesturing towards Nick and the person. “About time. He’s been chattin’ up Michelle for an hour now!”
“Um,” Charlie said because no, it hadn’t been an hour. “He can chat up whomever he likes.”
Which, alright— Charlie's brain knew this was the truth, his mouth said this as a truth, but his heart— his heart wanted him to be the only person Nick ever paid attention to. Which was ridiculous and selfish and impossible.
“You’re better than I am Spring, if my girl was talkin’ to another boy like that, I’d throw some punches. You gotta protect what’s yours you know? Especially now that Nick’s goin’ away to uni.”
Charlie wasn’t sure if Harry was trying to piss him off or not, but he pulled away, watching as it caused Harry to stumble just a bit. “I trust Nick,” he insisted. This wasn't a lie, he did trust Nick. But Harry was hitting a bit too close to the truth. “He can talk to whomever he wants and he certainly does not belong to me. At least not in the way you’re insinuating he does.”
“Alright, alright,” Harry said, jovially, seemingly unaware of the turmoil he was causing. “Cheers, mate.”
He lifted his glass towards Charlie, then disappeared into the sea of people.
When he looked back over, Nick was still in talks with Michelle. She had her hand on his arm, it looked so small compared to Nick’s big rugby arms. They were both laughing, heads bowed, Nick’s face was a little red, probably a bit more drunk than he intended to be. Everyone always assumed Charlie was the lightweight, but in reality, Nick got tipsy very, very quickly and tended to stay there, hovering real close to drunk but never quite making it over the mark.
There was that jealousy monster, right at the edge of Charlie's consciousness. Telling him to storm over and make a scene. To claim his man from this girl in a way that she wouldn't know what hit her. Clearly she was unaware that Nick was in a relationship but that didn't matter. Ignorance of the law was no excuse. Charlie pulled in a deep breath as he watched Nick continue to smile at Michelle, to make her laugh and allow her to touch him.
Another idea, maybe his worst, came into his mind. What if he left them. Left Nick in this stupid situation. Allowed whatever would come to pass. He did trust Nick after all. At most it would be an awkward and embarrassing situation for Nick; which was Nick's greatest fear in social situations. He hated to hurt anyone's feelings but right now Charlie could make that happen. Could punish him in that way.
Had Nick truly done something worthy of a punishment? Of retribution? Of revenge?
Charlie felt the corners of his lips dip into a deeper frown and then pout in disgust. Michelle was laughing again and sliding her hand up Nick's arm. Charlie turned away and headed back into the kitchen. He refilled his drink and went to find a place to hide away.
Charlie was aware he was behaving really shitty. Being completely irrational. He knew that Nick, who was practically an angel, Charlie’s angel in fact, would never do anything to intentionally upset him let alone hurt him. Still, Charlie couldn’t help it. He wanted him to feel even an ounce of the anger and fear and frustration and hurt that Charlie had felt in that moment. Even though he knew Nick would never do the same to him. He didn’t really get jealous, not about real people.
When someone did chat Charlie up Nick just kind of— smiled. Let it happen. It was unattainable people that seemed to knock Nick for a loop. It was like real people weren’t a threat, because he trusted Charlie, but Nick put celebrities on some kind of pedestal he couldn’t stand up to. It was mostly funny though the way Nick would get jealous, pouty and huffy but never angry. No, not angry, not mean or bitter, not like Charlie. Because he was better than Charlie.
God, maybe he didn’t deserve Nick. No, he knew he didn’t deserve Nick– ugh, no. Nick would be so upset with that line of thinking. Since he thought the world of Charlie and thought that Charlie deserved the world. He told him so regularly. But then Charlie thought he didn’t didn’t deserve— whatever that was. Being made to watch his boyfriend chatting to some girl who was so obviously into him. It was maddening. Literally maybe, because here he was standing in a different room not saving his boyfriend from the slight social awkwardness that would come when that girl realised Nick was so not into her.
The corner he found was next to a couch and was shrouded in semi-darkness. Soon a gaggle of girls came over and plopped themselves onto the couch and didn't notice his presence.
"And then he's all "where are we going?" the girl in the middle said, sounding a bit heated yet tearful. Charlie glanced over, not above a touch of gossip, but he realised the girl in the middle was Michelle. He ducked his head in case any of them recognised him. One of the girls made a tsking sound and comforting noises but the other two shared a glance.
"I mean—" one starts then shrugged. "Michelle, like— It's Nick Nelson?"
"You think I couldn't get Nick Nelson?" Michelle snapped, in a dangerous voice. Her friends rolled their eyes. The one who was comforting her looked a bit uncomfortable, good, Charlie thought, shame for encouraging her in the first place.
"I mean, no," the other one said. "You said you guys just talked about your dogs, like Michelle, come on. That is so not sexy. Did you really think that he was trying to take you home for just that?"
"But— he let me touch him, like I was all over him!" Michelle whined and she sounded actually mortified. Charlie bit his lip, fuck, this was not at all what he wanted. He didn't want this girl or Nick to be like— humiliated. Just— just a bit awkward but no– this was worse. Nick would be so upset, he hated to hurt anyone’s feelings.
"That's a bit on you; I was watching," her friend said, crossing her arms. "You touched his arm. And his chest once and he didn’t really respond; it wasn’t exactly a lap dance."
Michelle huffed and crossed her arms.
"Whatever and he kept talking about this Charlie, like is she in uni already? There aren't any Charlottes in his age group at Higgs so—" Michelle said but her friend cut her off. The one who was now looking sheepish.
"Charlie? As in Charlie Spring? You mean his boyfriend?" the girl said and Michelle's mouth fell open.
"Boyfriend!?" Michelle yelled, causing multiple people to turn to the girls. "He's fucking gay?! Why didn't he say?"
"He's bi, actually," said one of the friends and Charlie at the same time. The girls all whipped to look at him.
"Oh hey, Charlie," one of the girls said and Charlie recognised her face from orchestra but not by name. He waved at her then hurried away to find Nick.
Since he, Charlie, was such a fucking idiot.
He could imagine exactly how that conversation had played out. Michelle asking to leave and Nick being confused. Asking to leave where, to go where? Saying how he'd mentioned his boyfriend Charlie multiple times because, Charlie the idiot, also knew in his heart of hearts that Nick would have brought him up in conversation. Probably an annoying amount honestly. Michelle just heard what she wanted and honestly who could really blame her in the face of everything that was Nicholas Nelson.
But Nick wasn't where Charlie had last seen him. He went back into the room and had a look around.
"Alright Charlie?" Otis asked as Charlie almost hurried past him.
"Nick?" Charlie said, trying to keep the desperation from his voice, but probably failing.
"I think he left? I thought he'd find you first," Otis said, moving to follow Charlie. "Everything alright?"
"I was fucking stupid," Charlie mumbled. Otis nodded, but didn’t question him further then pulled out his phone.
"Mate! Where are you!?" Otis shouted into the phone when Nick finally answered.
"Trying to find Charlie, he wasn't at the party and he's not answering," Nick said dejectedly, his voice tinny over the speaker phone. Charlie showed Otis his blank phone screen and groaned.
"Just stop where you are, I'll send Charlie," Otis said and Charlie was already halfway across the room. "He’s at the square!"
Charlie waved behind him and then burst out the front door into the cool night air. His converse covered feet carried him down the street quickly.
He was such a fool. Such an idiot. He was so disappointed in himself.
If he couldn’t or wouldn’t trust Nick while he was right here then how was he going to when Nick is away at uni? With all kinds of interesting people? Even that thought was unfair to Nick though, since Charlie did actually trust him implicitly. Everyone else though? Charlie didn't trust them.
Charlie saw Nick sitting against the bonnet of his car and hurried faster. He knew the moment Nick caught sight of him as he raced to meet him on the sidewalk.
"I was looking for you!" They said together as they gripped each other's elbows and biceps. Nick grinned at Charlie, unaware of the position Charlie had left him in earlier, of what a terrible person Charlie truly was.
So many other people would soon know what an absolute joy and dream Nick Nelson was. And Charlie didn't trust a single one of them. They would all fall in love with Nick just like Charlie and Charlie trusted Nick but what— what if. There were plenty of people better than Charlie and they’d be interesting, and kind and sweet just like Nick, not terrible and awful like Charlie. So, what if– what if he did find someone better.
"Never," Nick said, simple as that, interrupting the rant Charlie hadn't really realised he was on. Nick took his face in gentle hands and pressed a kiss to Charlie's lips, his nose, his cheeks, his ears, his lips again to stifle his giggles.
"Nick."
"Charlie."
"I'm so sorry," Charlie said suddenly. "I saw you talking to Michelle and kind of freaked out. I got jealous and was childish."
Nick's eyebrows drew together in confusion then he shook his head.
"I'm sorry." Nick said, squeezing Charlie's bicep under his big warm hand. “I really was just looking at dog pictures! She started talking to me when I went to get us drinks and I just - I was a bit tipsy and didn’t think of the time and I don't know. I guess she thought I was chatting her up ‘cause she wanted me to take her home but no, never. And I'd talked about you! It just became such a mess."
"It's fine Nick, I— I trust you. I just need to get used to trusting a lot of other people."
“It won't be—"
"Don't argue this one, love, you're gorgeous and the sweetest man alive, you're going to be beating them off with a stick."
"I'll wear a property of Charlie Spring badge then, let everyone know I'm taken," Nick joked, well Charlie hoped he was joking. Nick's face kind of said it was fifty-fifty either way. Charlie laughed softly, shaking his head. They got into the car then settled into their seats.
"You can chat up whomever you want, Nick," Charlie shrugged.
"I only want to chat you up, Char," Nick said earnestly. And while Charlie did know that it was always nice to hear it straight from the source. "I am so sorry."
“Nothing to forgive,” Charlie said, buckling up and waiting for Nick to do the same. He turned the car on but didn’t drive away just yet. “I trust you and you can’t always control what other people think. I think I just need to get better at remembering that fact.”
Nick nodded, seeming to understand that this was Charlie's issue not his.
“I’m just surprised we found someone that didn’t know we were dating, honestly. Bit of a shocker," Charlie said, bewilderment on his face.
Nick laughed at this, but he still looked really upset. “That’s why I really didn’t say anything! I did talk about you, she must have just thought I meant a friend or something. God, Char, I never want you to feel like I’m not so ridiculously happy to show you off.”
“What happens when I’m not there for you to show me off?” Charlie asked, suddenly overcome with the image of Nick chatting up girls and boys at Leeds. What would happen when someone flirted with tipsy Nick and Charlie wasn’t there to intercept? What would happen if a night like this happened again but someone got the wrong idea and tried to kiss him? Fuck how Charlie felt, Nick would never forgive himself for something like that happening.
"Like I said, I'll wear a badge everywhere, I'll get your name tattooed on my forehead," Nick said in a tone that held no amusement. He was serious. Charlie smiled at him and nodded. That sounded great but it wasn't actually what he wanted. He wanted to trust Nick, which he did, and so he would continue to just— trust Nick.
"Maybe we should talk about when someone is chatting you up, yeah? Cause you seem oblivious," Charlie laughed. Nick ducked his head as Charlie pulled away from the curb.
"Maybe, Charlie," Nick agreed with a contented sigh. He looked at Charlie which Charlie saw out of the corner of his eye. "I can't wait to hold you to sleep tonight."
Charlie drew in a deep breath that he let out on a sigh.
As if Nick could be anymore perfect. Charlie smiled. They would just make it work, Charlie would make it work.