Chapter Text
Megumi felt like he was losing his mind. He's never felt like this before, and he didn't understand why he was feeling like this now.
Megumi, Nobara and Yuuji were walking back to Ijichi's car, the three had just finished up a mission in some random abandoned warehouse. It was a fairly easy mission, especially considering Yuuji's growth over the past few months. Even despite the special grades they finished it up in just a couple minutes. There was barely even much of a fight, they all easily took out the curses they were fighting and met back up to leave, it was honestly kind of boring.
Megumi, however, wasn't thinking about the mission like he usually did, instead he just kept thinking about the pink haired boy in front of him, who was lost in conversation with Nobara. He was smiling his usual bright stupid smile, and Megumi hated the way it made his heart skip a beat every time he heard him laugh.
He seriously had to be losing his mind. He'd felt like this for a while, but he hadn't fully realized it until after the fight with Sukuna, after Yuuji's words to bring him back. That's when he realized that damnit he might be in love with this idiot. He hated it, not because Yuuji was a particularly bad person to be in love with, but he hated the idea of falling in love right now. They had all lost so much, and lost each other so many times. He couldn't fall in love, not as a jujutsu sorcerer, and yet here he was.
He felt like an idiot, being stupidly head over heels in love with his best friend. It was a horrible thing, really. They were doomed from the start, he knew that, and yet he couldn't stop how fast his heart started beating when Yuuji talked to him, and the blush that forced it's way onto his cheeks whenever he thought about him.
Unfortunately, his feelings were never going to be reciprocated, because if there was one thing Yuuji made clear upon first introduction, it was that he liked girls. Tall girls with a big ass, specifically. Like Jennifer Lawrence.
Megumi seriously felt stupid, he'd started watching every Jennifer Lawrence movie that he could sit through just to see what Yuuji saw in her, or maybe just to be closer to him. So they could share some interests. Truthfully, he never saw it, she was just like any other blonde girl to him. Sure she was pretty, but he'd never understand singling her out as his type. That was what led him to the conclusion that, he wasn't sure if he'd ever even liked girls in the first place. That was fine, Megumi never really cared about his sexuality, labels didn't matter to him. He liked guys, so what?
Yuuji, however, didn't like guys, and Megumi was a guy. So that ruined any chance he might've had. Megumi really was screwed. He was insanely in love with his straight best friend, who would never see him as anything more then that, his best friend.
God, Megumi was so stupid for allowing this to happen. He should've noticed, and distanced himself before his feelings formed. (But would that have worked? Looking back he doesn't think he can remember a time where he didn't feel like this about Yuuji, he just recently acknowledged his feelings.)
Finally, the three reached the car. They all piled in, sitting in their usual spots, and Megumi's cheeks felt hot as Yuuji pressed against him. The two were leaning forward in front of him, continuing their conversation they were having before they got in the car, and while Megumi feigned annoyance at it, he truly didn't mind. These two were the most important people to him, they were there for him when he was at his worst, and vice versa. They'd all seen each others worst moments, their breakdowns when things got too much, when they'd overwork themselves to the point of passing out the other two would help carry them to bed, when they'd forget to take care of themselves so they would help them until they could hold themselves up again. They really were his best friends.
He vividly remembers the relief he'd felt when they all finally reunited after the culling games and everything with Sukuna. There was a lot of tears, from all of them, even him. He'd never admit that to anyone else though, and they never talked about it. For the first time in months he'd felt warm, being with his friends again, finally allowed to let out everything that he had been feeling. He knew they both felt the same. Yuuji had cried the most, he'd broken down completely once the battle was over, mourning the deaths of everyone that they'd lost, pouring out all the pain and stress he'd felt from everything that they'd been through. It was the most emotion that Megumi had seen Yuuji express since Shibuya, and he was partly relieved, because this meant that maybe things could go somewhat back to normal. Maybe they could actually heal from this.
Megumi had been right, it was a rough couple of months, and they often found themselves all three crowded in the same bed due to nightmares, and just unable to be apart from the fear of losing each other again, but they were healing.
When they'd first gotten back, Yuuji had locked himself in his room for a week straight, not even coming out to eat no matter how much they begged. When he finally came out he looked exhausted, and they'd all ended up in Megumi's room that night, comforting him as he cried. After that, he came out more, and eventually he started eating again, it was a slow process and Megumi definitely heard him throwing it up a few times, but he was eating, and finally he started smiling again. He was mostly back to his usual self before Shibuya now, sometimes he still had his moments, but Megumi and Nobara saw the change and they were happy about it.
Nobara had been really upset too, she came out of her room and ate unlike Yuuji, but she didn't talk as much, and she avoided mirrors at all costs. Before Yuuji had come out of his room, he had ended up staying in Nobara's room. They were just so worried about him and each other that it just happened. It was going fine, until they were about to sleep and he made the mistake of asking if she was going to take off her eyepatch, and she ended up freaking out. The night ended with her crying in Megumi's arms, crying over her lost beauty. Megumi told her she was one of the most beautiful girls he knew, and she fell asleep with a smile. After that, her confidence grew a bit, she kept the eyepatch, but she had bedazzled it, and she seemed to be able to actually stand looking in the mirror again, at least a little bit. Slowly, especially once Yuuji came out, she returned back to the same snarky and happy girl they knew.
Megumi had felt really guilty after Sukuna took over his body, and he honestly considered locking himself in his room just like Yuuji had, but he knew it wouldn't help anything. He couldn't stand to look at Gojo, even though he was fine now, mostly, he still felt tremendous guilt after what Sukuna had done to him with his body. He'd killed his mentor, his father figure. It ate him up inside, but he was never as open with his emotions as the other two, so he hid it as well as he could in favor of helping them. All it took though was a simple "Are you okay?" for him to break down, because even after everything he'd done while Sukuna was in control they still cared about him. They held him all night, comforting him and assuring him that it wasn't his fault and they never saw him any differently. After that he actually sat down and had a conversation with Gojo, and he slowly felt the weight of the guilt begin to life of his shoulders.
It was a long process, and none of them were fully okay yet, but as long as they had each other Megumi knew that they'd be fine.
"Fushiguro!" Nobara's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, she was waving a hand in front of his face and he noticed both her and Yuuji looking at him expectantly. "Hey idiot, quite spacing out, we were talking to you."
Megumi shook his head and pushed Nobara's hand away, "Sorry. What's up?" he hadn't heard anything they were saying so really he had no idea what this could possibly be about.
"We were gonna go shopping, do you wanna come with us?" Yuuji asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes, as if he really wanted him to come.
Megumi decided he imagined it and sighed, "I guess."
Nobara and Yuuji both smiled and leaned back, Yuuji pumping his fist in the air as a little celebration, and Megumi's heart clenched at how damn cute and stupid it was.
They had told Ijichi about the change of plans and he dropped them off at a nearby shopping district, telling them to call him when they were ready to go home. They agreed and Nobara instantly began pulling them around to different stores. They left each one with a new bag and they all ended up in Yuuji's hands. Megumi almost felt a little bad when towards the end of their shopping trip you could barely even see his face anymore from how much he was holding.
He sighed and reached out to grab a few of the bags, "Here, let me hold some of them." he offered, but he was already putting some over his shoulder.
Yuuji smiled at him and relaxed a little when his arms were less full, "Thanks Fushiguro! I don't mind holding the bags but she got a lot today." he chuckled, repositioning the stuff in his arms.
Megumi nodded, "Yeah definitely, she must've just gotten her spend for the month." he watched her as she looked through the windows of a store, trying to see if there was anything interesting in them.
She turned around and seemed to notice they weren't next to her anymore and she put her hands on her hips, "What the hell! Hurry up! Can't you run the fifty meter in like three seconds Itadori? Why are you so slow!"
Yuuji laughed and rushed to catch up with her, Megumi wasn't in as much of a hurry. Nobara could wait a couple seconds as he caught up.
"Sorry! You just bought so much, it was hard to keep up and hold it all!" Yuuji said with his usual smile that made Megumi feel like his knees were going to collapse from underneath him.
Megumi rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Maybe if you'd slow down, or carry your own damn stuff, we could keep up with you."
Nobara glared at him and crossed her arms, "You guys are the 'gentlemen' aren't you supposed to carry the stuff?"
Megumi sighed and shook his head again, but he didn't say anything. He wasn't really in the mood to argue with her.
Seemingly satisfied at their lack of response, she turned back to the store and rushed in. Megumi and Yuuji stood outside, the store wasn't anything either of them were interested in, just some clothes store. So they waited for her to get what she needed and they'd take the bags.
They leaned against a wall outside, setting down some of the bags they were carrying. Yuuji sighed in relief as the weight was relieved from his arms for a while. Megumi stared at him, he knew he should look away, stop being so weird, but he couldn't. Yuuji was fucking mesmerizing for some reason, his pink hair that was always messy but still ultimately looked better than his own, his captivating brown eyes that he always found himself getting lost in, his blinding smile that Megumi hadn't even realized how much he liked it until it stopped appearing, the scars on his face that he knew Yuuji hated but he adored because it showed how much he's been through and far he's come and just how inexplainably strong he was. Damnit Megumi loved everything about this boy and it made him sick.
Yuuji realized him staring and turned to look at him with a smile, he didn't say anything. Megumi could feel their fingers lightly brush against each other and it took everything he had not to intertwine his own with Yuuji's. Thankfully, he didn't have to hold back for long because Yuuji was the one who made the move, he slowly looped their fingers together, allowing Megumi time to pull away if he wanted to. When he didn't, he smiled and looked back out towards the street.
Megumi felt like he was on fire, like that curse that had attacked Gojo that time in the middle of nowhere and in Shibuya had set him ablaze. Yuuji's hand was warm, it was a stark contrast from Megumi's usual coldness. His heart raced in his chest, and he squeezed tightly, as if to make sure this was real and he wasn't just imaging it, and he was sure he was going to collapse right then and there when Yuuji squeezed back.
Unfortunately, the warmth didn't last long, as Nobara soon came bolting out of the store and shoving the two bags she'd gotten into Yuuji's hands, causing him to pull away. Megumi was disappointed at the loss, but he didn't show it. He did notice Nobara raise an eyebrow at the two of them though, so she definitely noticed their conjoined hands before she had ripped the two of them apart. Megumi sighed, he knew this would be an annoying conversation later.
The day went on without any other notable incidents, Yuuji didn't comment on what had happened earlier, so Megumi didn't either.
God he really was an idiot, Yuuji liked girls. There was no way he liked him. Yuuji was always a touchy person, he holds hands with Nobara often, so there was no reason for him to read into it as anything other than platonic because that was all it was, platonic, and that was all they'd ever be.