Chapter Text
Donna could sense the change in the Doctor as soon as he said Darlig Ulv Stranden. Not that she could blame him. He was already grieving the loss of Rose despite her being right there.
Jackie was out first, then the new Doctor, whispering a quick "sorry" to the Doctor as he passed by him. He was followed by Rose. Donna could see the Doctor dragging his feet. She placed a hand on his arm meeting his eyes before stepping off the TARDIS as he followed. She watched as he shoved his hands in his pocket, Jackie and the other Doctor talking amongst themselves.
"This is the parallel world right," Rose asked, clearly confused although Donna wasn't sure why.
The Doctor and Donna continued to walk towards them, "you're back home," he began.
"And the walls of the universe are closing again now that the reality bomb never happened. It's a dimensional retro closure. See? I really get that stuff now," she interrupted, trying to delay the inevitable where the Doctor would have to inform Rose he was leaving her again.
The half human Doctor smiled at her but there was something else in his eye, something else she couldn't quite place. Sadness. Why was he sad when he'd get to spend the rest of his life with Rose?
Rose's eyes narrowed, "no but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now," she protested.
Sighing, Donna realized Rose wasn't going to get it unless the Doctor spelled it out for her. "But you've got to," he said walking closer to her, "because we saved the universe but at a cost. And that cost, is him." Donna saw the new Doctor bristle at counterpart's words. "He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."
"You made me," the new Doctor rebuked.
"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge," he said meeting Rose's eyes, "remind you of someone?" She watched as Rose turned slightly away from him, unable to meet his eyes, "that's me, when we first met." Donna could see the tears in her eyes, "and you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."
She watched Rose and knew the Doctor wasn't doing this right. Her headache was starting to increase and she could feel the walls were closing. Donna tried to focus on what he was saying.
"He needs you. That's very me," the Doctor pushed.
Sometimes he was just rubbish. "But it's better than that though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you? Tell her, go on," she said meeting the new Doctor's eyes.
She saw as Rose turned towards the new Doctor and willed her body to stand, she just wanted a nice long nap and a couple aspirin. Could she still take aspirin with a timelord brain?
"I've only got one life Rose Tyler, I could spend it with you, if you want," the new Doctor said. Donna wasn't sure why it made her sad to hear him say that. She knew the Doctor knew best but it was almost like the new Doctor was a part of her. To know that he'd be stuck here never able to travel having an adventure the Doctor never could, made her want to cry.
The Doctor held up a chunk of something and Donna recognized it immediately, "oh and don't forget this. This universe is in need of defending. Chunk of TARDIS," he said, tossing it to the other Doctor.
"Grow your own? That takes thousands of years," he protested.
"No because," the Doctor began.
Donna smiled. Just another thing these dumbo's didn't get. "if you shatter fry the plasmic shell and modify the dimensional stabilizer to a fullback harmonic of 36.3 you accelerate the growth power by 59," she explained to them as they both stood there with mouths gaping open in shock.
"We never thought of that," they gasped in unison.
"I'm just brilliant," Donna beamed as the other Doctor met her gaze before something shifted and he met her Doctor's. Her mind throbbed in a wave.
Rose watched him, "what about you," she asked.
"Oh I'm fine. I've got madam," he said.
She could just hug him. He did have her. She knew she wasn't Rose but she'd never leave him. "Human with the timelord brain. Perfect combination. We can travel the universe forever. Best friends and equals. Just what the skinny one needs, an equal," she smiled.
The TARDIS wheezed at them, sending a jolt of pain through Donna's head.
"We've got to go," the Doctor said.
Donna really needed that aspirin. Seeing him turn she started following him back to the TARDIS.
"But it's still not right," Rose yelled coming after the Doctor, "because the Doctor's still you," she protested.
"And I'm him," he reminded Rose.
Rose watched his face. "All right. Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it," she pushed.
Donna couldn't blame her. She understood why Rose needed to hear those words from the Doctor. It's all anyone wanted to hear from the person they loved.
"I said Rose Tyler,” he paused before finally saying, “does it need saying," the Doctor asked.
God, how could he be such an idiot. It always needed saying. Headache or not if the other Doctor didn't say it she was gonna go slap the both of them for Rose. Thankfully, the face that had part of her mind too, the other Doctor knew better. Donna smiled as they got their happy ending, seeing the Doctor tuck tail to the TARDIS she followed after.
She watched as he set the TARDIS in the vortex, smiling at all the things on the console she now understood as she gently stroked it. She could pilot the TARDIS by herself if she wanted to. Even better, she could feel the TARDIS in a way she'd never experienced before.
"I thought we could try the planet Felspoon," she suggested looking up and noticing the Doctor leaning against a column. He looked so sad, so broken. "Just because. What a good name, Felspoon. Apparently, it's got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you imagine," she asked, twisting a knob to help stabilize the TARDIS and ignore the pounding in her head.
The Doctor didn't move, "and how do you know that," he asked.
"Because it's in your head," she grinned, glancing at him over her shoulder, "and if it's in your head, it's in mine."
He looked like he was at a flipping funeral. "And how does that feel," he questioned.
"Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great big universe, packed into my brain," she confessed, turning to look at the Doctor again. "You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hot binding the fragment links and superseding the binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary," she saw his face shift as he stood to attention but she couldn't stop her mouth. "Binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary," she gasped, "I'm fine," dismissed Donna as everything started to make sense.
He was at a funeral, he was at hers. That's why the other Doctor had apologized, why everytime she said something brilliant there was proudness followed by sadness. She noticed that the Doctor didn't come closer. Well if he wasn't going to admit what was happening neither was she.
"Nah, never mind Felspoon. You know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin," she said circling the console and playing with different parts. "I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go and see Charlie Chaplin? Shall we? Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester. Charlie Brown. No, he's fiction. Friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton," Donna huffed, keeling over and bracing herself on the console at the pain radiating through her head. "Oh, my God," she gasped as her hand came to her head. The pain was increasing quickly.
She could sense him coming closer, looming over her, "do you know what's happening?"
Pushing herself up Donna didn't know if she could look at him without breaking, "yeah."
"There's never been a human Timelord metacrisis before now," he revealed and she couldn't not meet his eyes. She had to look at her best friend if these were the last moments they were gonna have. "And you know why," he hinted.
"Because there can't be," she dared, her eyes stinging from the tears welling up. Donna pushed herself further away from the Doctor despite just wanting to hug him but it wasn’t fair that he had to comfort her in her last moments. He’d done that for so many other people in his long life already. "I want to stay," she told him.
The Doctor leaned in as she toyed with the console, "look at me," he asked but when she didn't, his voice broke, "Donna, look at me."
Turning to face him, she took a breath. She loved him and now he was going to be alone. "I was going to be with you forever," she breathed.
"I know," the Doctor promised and she could see tears in his own eyes.
It broke her that she was going to leave him like this. "The rest of my life, traveling in the TARDIS. The DoctorDonna," she softly smiled. As soon as he'd made a decision it rippled through her. Donna knew what he was going to do. "No. Oh my God," she wheezed, stepping back from him. "I can't go back," she begged as his hands met her shoulders, "don't make me go back. Doctor, please, please don't make me go back," she begged.
"Donna," he said and for a moment she hoped he'd changed his mind. "Oh, Donna Noble. I am so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best," he assured her as tears fell down her face. "Goodbye," the Doctor told her.
"No. no, no. Please. No. No," she begged as his hands met her temples and the Doctor closed his eyes. "No," she screamed.
Gasping, she shot up in the darkness. Her scream of “no,” still echoing around her. Head pounding she tried to see, "Doctor?" Donna moved to push herself up. Where was she? "Arg," Donna yelped as something entrapped her legs, sending her tumbling to the floor.
"Donna, are you alright," the Doctor questioned, slightly panicked. He sounded so far away. "Donna," he said, sounding worried as the knocking increased.
The knocking only exacerbated the pounding, "stop," she whined which the Doctor took as his okay to come in.
"What's wrong," he queried, flipping the light on blinding her.
Groaning Donna covered her eyes, "too bright."
She felt his cool fingers on her bare skin, "what happened?"
Opening one eye she met his frantic face, "I didn't think you would have let me sleep in my room after that, or at least alone," she huffed.
"What,” his voice rose.
And then it clicked. Reaching out she slapped him, "why didn't you tell me you just needed those memories dumbo?"
"What are you talking about," the Doctor asked as his hand met her forehead, "are you well?"
Pulling him into a hug, Donna could feel the Doctor briefly tense before relaxing into it, “thank you for saving me.”
“Of course I’d come for you. One of the perks of traveling with me. I’ll never leave you behind,” promised the Doctor.
Loosening her grip Donna pulled back looking into the Doctor’s eyes, “what are you talking about,” she asked.
“With the Sibylline Sisterhood. If anything happened Donna I’d find a way to come get you,” he stated.
Donna graped at him, trying to process what he’d just said. The Sibylline Sisterhood was in Pompeii but they were just on the Crucible. "What,” she paused, unsure what was going on as panic coursed through her, “Doctor, where were we just," she clarified.
"Pompeii," the Doctor assured her.
Nodding Donna closed her eyes, pressing her lips together. Pompeii. That didn't even make sense. Pompeii was months ago. "And next," she asked, trying to gather more information.
"No idea," he beamed, "going to set the old girl to random and see what happens," the Doctor explained. “I thought we talked about this already,” he queried.
The Oodsphere. That's where next was. Her bottom lip quivered, giving away the fear she was trying to keep inside. Donna tried to cover it with her hand but she had been too slow.
"You're alright. I've got you," the Doctor promised, pulling her into a hug, "I'm sorry Donna. The nightmare you had must have been horrible," he reasoned.
She listened to the drumming of his double hearts, "yeah, you could say that," she swallowed.
“Was it about Pompeii,” he questioned.
Donna shook her head, “no. It was,” she trailed off unsure what to say. What was it in the future? Was it a dream? Was this a parallel world? But the Doctor had said they were sealed off. Then again with the reality bomb junk they just had gone to one parallel world. Without his mind it was all too hard to work out. Could she ask this Doctor? She sat there as his words flowed through her head, sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you Donna. She shivered, It's like something's binding us together.
"You're shaking," he noticed.
She looked at her hands in the dim light, sure enough they were unable to still. Donna fisted her hands, "I need you to scan me," her voice was soft, so unlike herself.
"Donna," the Doctor began.
"Please," she begged.
He watched her for a moment, "you must really not be feeling well if you're willing to be scanned," the Doctor realized, retrieving his sonic screwdriver from his breast pocket and running it over Donna. "Nothing remarkable," he revealed. "Can you tell me what feels wrong," the Doctor asked.
Pressing her lips together she nodded, "no. Can you scan me in the infirmary?"
"Well, yeah, of course," he let on, "what made you so terrified? I've not seen you like this, even when you thought you could die," he gently prodded.
She pushed back against the wall trying to lift herself from the position she was sitting in but her legs were shaking nearly as bad as her hands. She knew that wasn't a dream. She had lived that life. Just as she had lived in the parallel world. Somehow, she was here again but it didn't make sense.
"Here, let me help," he said as his arm wrapped around her, "you're shaking like a leaf."
Swallowing, she gripped onto him to steady herself as they walked, "what are all the different ways of time travel," Donna blurted, causing the Doctor to give a little chuckle in response.
"Well, there's thousands of ways really. The TARDIS of course, but there are other vessels that can travel through time as well. Saw a time cabinet once too. Then there's time scoops, time corridors, vortex manipulators, and bits like that," he prattled turning into the infirmary, "Then there are time storms, time winds, weeping angels, the trickster, and less influential things such as time viewer," he explained helping her onto the bed.
Not one of the things he noted seemed to be anything that could have done this to her. Although the Doctor didn't necessarily explain what any of those things did. She watched him pull the scanner down, "do any of those throw you back in your own personal timeline?"
"I suppose every one of them could. I've done that once or twice but it's a dangerous business and I won't be doing it again. Well, maybe for a cheap trick here or there he winked. Looking from her to the scanner, "anything in particular you want me to look for on this scan," he queried.
"Everything. Diseases, poisons, time sickness," she guessed.
His eyes popped up at her words, "time sickness? How do you know about time sickness," the Doctor wondered aloud.
Shit. She hadn't even made it ten minutes in the past without messing up. Maybe she should just tell him everything now. But then the Doctor might leave her and if she wasn't there then how would she save him?
"That's a real thing," she laughed, a bit too fake for even her own standards, "I just figured you know traveling in a time box might make someone sick from all the traveling, you know, through, time," she stammered grasping at straws to make him less suspicious.
"I suppose," the Doctor shrugged, turning back to the monitor and typing on it.
Sitting there for a moment Donna was trying to get her brain to calm down. If she could slow the thoughts, maybe she could make sense of them. "What about those movies where someone wakes up in their life like the day or years hadn't existed and they have to go through it all again," she fumbled trying to make the words make sense.
"Are you talking about a time loop," he questioned.
Time loop. A loop in time. She was repeating time. "Maybe, what about that?"
"Time loops are complicated points. They take a massive amount of energy which makes them very uncommon," he expounded.
A massive amount of energy. Like what the reality bomb had needed. "What could produce an amount of energy like that," she asked.
Laughing he shrugged, "well Time Lords had all sorts of ways. We were good at making things bigger on the inside," he recalled.
Bigger on the inside. The TARDIS. Oh my God. But why would the TARDIS? The TARDIS sent her back in time. The TARDIS tried to save her.
"So, Time Lords had a thing for time loops. That means the troublemaker you are, I assume you've been stuck in one? How did you know it was a time loop," she pushed.
Smiling he took a deep breath, "mostly my superior time sense. However, when that wasn't an option you gain a feel for it. Deja vu, repeating patterns, unexplainable predictions or intuition," he chuckled, "this one time I had gone through one eight times before I realized it," the Doctor reminisced.
Well, this was certainly one hell of a deja vu. Except none of this had happened before. She hadn't woken after Pompeii to this. Donna wouldn't know for certain if she was losing her mind or if she was in a time loop until they landed tomorrow.
The TARDIS hummed, causing the Doctor's attention to return to the monitor, "absolutely nothing is wrong," he began but she could see the way his face changed and his head turned slightly to the left he had found something, "why didn't you tell me you were in pain? You have major bruising on your side," the Doctor read moving to a drawer, "how did you even get that side bruised? You hit your right earlier, even then you landed on me," he remarked astounded.
"No idea. Can I see," she hoped. Contrary to what she told the Doctor, she knew exactly how that bruising had happened. It was a result of Davros' zap that activated her Time Lords self. Which meant that she wasn't dreaming. It is real, this was real, and she was really back on the TARDIS the night they went to Pompeii.
Turning the screen toward her the Doctor smiled, "see nothing to worry about," he assured her moving to her side. "Erm, Is it okay if I," he questioned, "this will help with the bruising and any pain you might be having."
"Yeah," she breathed, shifting and lifting her shirt up. Was it funny that this was the first time he was seeing this much skin when she had seen him completely starkers earlier? Donna bit her lip as his fingers ran the cool gel down her side. Maybe thinking of the Doctor naked wasn't the best idea when he was touching her like this. She wasn't entirely sure how that touch telepathy worked. "Um, even my brain? It all looks normal? The way it's supposed to? Nothing there that shouldn't be," she worried.
The Doctor's eyebrow shot up inquisitively, "scanner says so. Are you telling me you think there is," he questioned running his fingers over her ribs.
"No, no, just curious," Donna replied, trying not to think about the way his hand was caressing her.
The Doctor watched her curiously for a moment. “How about a cuppa,” he suggested, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “when I can’t sleep, erm, or wake up, a good cuppa always helps to settle me down,” he offered.
Smiling Donna nodded. The Doctor had told her about his nightmares in her past but this Doctor hadn’t. Were they really that different? “That sounds lovely,” she agreed, escorting him to the kitchen.
Once in the Galley Donna moved to retrieve their mugs before the Doctor shooed her away, “sit, I’ve got this,” he assured her.
A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she curled up at the table. Usually Donna was the one on tea duty. When had that changed? It was almost like she was watching a whole new Doctor. So eager and bright to show her the universe. Then again they had just returned from their first real trip. He had made her a cuppa the first time too.
“Thank you for saying yes,” Donna found herself telling him.
Peering over his shoulder at her the Doctor looked confused, “to what?”
“Letting me come with you Dumbo. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. Actually, I’m sorry I said no in the first place,” she reiterated.
Pouring water in their mugs, and dressing their tea the Doctor turned, his smile brightening. “Of course. Thank you for saying yes this time and understanding about the whole mate thing,” he grinned, coming over and setting a mug before her.
Laughing at the memory of the Doctor’s face as she huffed at him, Donna took his hand, “I have a feeling you and I are going to be the best of mates,” she told him.