Work Text:
At this point it felt like a second nature.
It was supposed to be a good day. A relaxing day of doing some art pieces to practice for future attacks and just to mess around with this new clay he bought a few days ago. He may love making explosions but even someone as sporadic and outgoing as him needed a day of quiet. He was actually in the middle of making a cat-hoping to make it run forwards to attack their opponents from the ground and be able to cause more damage-when he felt it.
A chill runs up his back as he almost crushes the clay in his hands. The sudden sharp instinct to get ready for a fight and he knew-and he hated that he instantly knew-the root cause of the sudden unease running through him. He heard footsteps from behind him before he put the ruined claw figure away before turning in his seat to see what kind of shit that his current partner has gotten into. Already he felt the stress creeping up up to his temples in the form of a headache.
"-ssssseeeeeeeeeEEEEEEENPAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!"
With an arm extended out and a look of resignation as he wrapped it around the waist of his masked partner who has somehow made it his mission to bring any and all problems/emergencies to him of all people. He grunted as he managed to hold him up before he looked at the familiar swirled orange mask with the single eye hole was inches from his own.
"Omph! Oh!" Tobi grabbed his shoulders looking at him with wide eyes, "Senpai! Senpai help me, you need to help me!"
"What in the actual hell made you think coming to me was the correct action on one of my rare days off, un.? Deidara stared at his partner with a grimace.
First it was the prank he pulled on Itachi that had Kisame chasing him up and down the shoreline a week ago, then he messed around with Konan's make up set up and she tried to kill him with her origami doves and the most recent one three days ago Deidara had to talk down Kakuzu from strangling his partner until his head popped off.
That left three of their members who have not been pranked or messed with; Pain-sama their leader who could crush them without raising a finger, Zetsu one of their more stranger members who was their clean up crew and lastly-
'WHERE ARE YOU TOBI YOU LITTLE FUCK?!"
Deidara slowly turned to look at him with his blue eye wide, "...Tobi what did you do to Hidan, un?"
Tobi hides behind Deidara, "I maaaay have tried to make Hidan's scythe a liiittle more friendly looking..."
"...Friendly looking?" Deidara raised a brow before he turned back to see what exactly Tobi had done as the silver haired religious nut who couldn't die ran at them.
Hidan stopped in front of them as he slammed down his scythe; said scythe being covered from the tip of the blades to the bottom of the staff was covered in stickers; pink hearts, rainbows, unicorns, and a few little bunnies all over the weapon used for his rituals. Deidara's eyes widened as he puffed his cheeks at the sight of it while Hidan-his hair no longer swept back as usual, his eyes wide and showing his teeth in a snarl-looked like he was about to go on the warpath.
Tobi ducked behind Deidara-poor Deidara was struggling to hold in his laughter at the religious nut's scythe-and gulped audibly.
"How dare you desecrate my sacred tool of Jashin-sama's will! Do you know how important this is to my Lord?! Blasphemous bastard!" He pointed at Tobi's face, his finger following him as he tried to get out of sight of it behind the blonde, "Move aside Deidara, I'm going to introduce him to Jashin-sama right now!"
Deidara cleared his throat, and then took a slow deep breath to try and calm himself down, "Hidan...Hidan calm down now, it's just some stickers. Easily fixed man, un."
"Y-yeah!" Tobi gulps, "You can just pull them off a-and they're all gone! I didn't know it was that special, I'm sorry Hidan-saaaan..."
Hidan's purple eyes are twitching as he scowled at the scatterbrained masked idiot, "You're sorry. You're sorry?! No no, sorry does NOT cut it! I don't care if it's just stickers! YOU DEFILED A SACRED RELIC TO THE WAY OF JASHIN!"
Tobi squeaked and pushes his face into Deidara's back and he could feel the other man trembling as Hidan raised up the scythe snarling. That snapped the blonde out of his annoyance at feeling Tobi's fear. Normally the masked idiot was either shaking with giggles or had a sheepish body language hence Deidara usually knew he just needed to talk down whoever it was he targeted. This was the first time he's had Tobi actually scared.
"Move out of the way Blondie-"
Flick!
Deidara sharply flicked Hidan between his eyes without even thinking, "First off."
Flick! Flick!
"They are fucking stickers," he continued to flick between Hidan's eyes forcing the other man to move backwards; like he was dealing with a petulant child and not a mass murderer who killed people for fun, "Second, it's a fucking scythe, you can easily clean them off, pull them off then clean or even paint over them, un."
Flick! Flick! Flick! Flick!
"You are being a dick to my partner for something easily remedied, un. Instead of trying to kill him over stupid little kid stickers and making a bigger mess, why don't you just go and clean it? Honestly you're so focused on the killing shit, that the most simple solutions go over your stupid head, un," Deidara hissed, giving one particularly hard flick that makes Hidan fall back on his ass. He looked like a startled dog who didn't know what to do with himself as Deidara leans over him with his arms crossed.
The two have a stare down for a long moment before Deidara leaned closer, "Now get out of my work space before I give you a real reason to be upset, un."
Hidan glared at him before he grumbled and turned around to walk away, hissing about blasphemous heathens and greedy misers as he turned back down the way he had come in.
Once he no longer hears him, Deidara then turned back to his partner and walked back over, "Tobi-"
He wheezed as arms suddenly wrapped around him so tight he swore he felt his arms crack the same time his spine down. Tobi rested his masked face on Deidara's shoulder as he holds on to him taking a slow deep breath.
"...Thank you," Tobi said softly, making Deidara blink.
The blonde looked at the head of dark hair resting on his shoulder for a long moment before gently he raised his arms as well to hug him back.
"..No problem, un."