Chapter Text
"Quiet nights of quiet stars,
Floating on the silent thoughts around us."
When it all started, you had nowhere to run. You were home alone, while your mother had gone out to work. All television channels switched to the same footage. A woman was squirming on the concrete floor as a man, on top of her, chewed onto her shoulder.
You would've easily mistaken it for a zombie movie, but when all channels seemed to stream the same thing you couldn't help but jump from your seat.
Is this some kind of joke? You thought, unconsciously and subtly shaking out in fear. And to make it all worse, it was real. A reporter informed of a quarantine state on the whole state, that staying home would be best and all that drill you used to see in those zombie movies and video games.
This couldn't be happening. You bolted towards the kitchen, checking everywhere for supplies – if you were to stick home as the reporter had said, you wouldn't last home more than a week. And above it all else. . You mother was still outside, amidst all that chaos. What do I do?
"Shit, what do people do in a zombie apocalypse?" You heaved out, a hand holding onto your chest as you tried calming yourself down before a panic attack could kick in.
Weapons. That word came to you with a ring. Before rummaging through the kitchen drawer, your phone started ringing. Upon sighting the contact name, you didn't think twice before answering it.
"[Y/N]!" She sounded frantic, her voice hoarse. "Don't leave the house, okay? I'm on my way home, don't worry."
Before you could even give a proper answer of your own, she had already hung up. "Dammit." You fiercely bit at your bottom lip, throwing your phone to the counter.
Wait, what about my neighbors? You rushed towards the front door, leaning against it as you peeked through the peephole. The hallway seemed empty and calm, as usual.
You gritted your teeth and decided to step outside – you could hear shouting in the distance, probably someone yelling at the landlord.
You knocked at the nearest door, but no answer came. And so you moved to another door; no reply. You frantically ran your fingers through your [h/c] locks and decided to head back inside.
Your neighbors were most likely seeking advice from the landlord – to which you considered to, but decided to stay in your apartment anyway.
Oh yeah, weapons. Returning to your previous duty, all you managed to find on the kitchen drawers were kitchen knifes, naturally. Well, what was I expecting?
The worst thing, if you ever considered stepping outside of the building, was having to face zombies and solely having to rely on melee weapons.
Stabbing a zombie was the equivalent of stabbing a human being – well, in a sense – and just by thinking of having to cut through something’s (or someone’s) flesh caused you to shiver.
How can people do it so easily on video games?
For the time being, you considered simply sitting back and wait for your mom to come back home – you had nothing in mind, so hopefully she had an idea on how the handle things from now on. You also had to make sure to ask the landlord, afterwards.
You retreated back to your spot on the couch, your back facing the television screen. It was no use to waste your sanity in “petty” matters – for now, you would just stick to calmly inhaling in and exhaling out, while trying your best to remain calm.
You reached out for your phone (along with your earbuds) and decided to distract yourself with a mobile app, – one that didn’t require internet, for that you were too scared of even thinking the network cables were long disrupted after the “outbreak” – your chest still heaving up and down.
There’s no need to worry. Mom will be home soon enough! No need to overthink; she’s fine!
The mobile game didn’t distract you enough, but, gladly, you weren’t overthinking – having an anxiety attack now wouldn’t be good, think about it, [Y/N]!
Staying awake won’t be of much help, you mumbled and thought it would be best to nap – not in the best scenario, of course, but it was better than freaking out over your mother’s state.
Picking a calm playlist of choice on your phone, you clutched at the pillow and tightly closed your eyes.
Think of a better place. Mom will be coming soon. [Y/N], treat yourself some tea afterwards, you know it calms you down. And by the time you wake up, mom will already be home! That’s something to look forward to and. . .
When your eyelids fluttered open, you immediately jumped up. Looking out the balcony, you could note the sky had gotten darker – it was most likely around 5 pm.
The first thing that came into your mind was rush towards your mother’s bedroom. She probably saw me sleeping and thought it would be best to leave me resting. . .
But much to your desperation, you saw no one. Her sheets remained untouched, just as before. No lights were on, not even from the bathroom. . . So where was she?
You stumbled on your way towards the kitchen, reaching out for the intercom. Wait, what if they locked up the place and left? But gladly, the doorman answered.
“Miss [Y/N]? Are you alright?” He politely asked.
The odds of your apartment’s “hierarchy” to be still at function. . . You always thought that, during a zombie outbreak, things would go rogue and straight into an anarchy but apparently, it was not. Was it all a dream?
“I was taking a nap and I thought everyone left me behind. . . Did the landlord say anything? Are all the other tenants okay?” You asked, breathless. So you weren’t alone, after all.
“Just like the news said, the landlord suggested us staying inside until the military acts up – hopefully it’s going to happen soon enough! If you have a radio at home, stick to it – they’re keeping everyone informed.” He explained, a hint of hope in his voice.
“Oh, thanks for the info! But I’ve also been meaning to ask if mom came in? She’s not here but she called me earlier saying she was coming home. . .” You trailed on, with a gulp.
There was a long pause. You couldn’t even hear his breath – it was almost as if there was no one there. But after a couple of seconds, he spoke under his breath. “. . .No, she didn’t come.”
Instantly the phone fell from your hands, landing straight onto the kitchen counter.
Eh?
Your limbs were long numb, but you had been able to lunge forward and use the ceramic counter for physical support. Even so, you were shaking.
You could no longer hear the sound coming from the television, no birds were chirping outside – all there was to it was the sound of your heart.
The rapid and intensely loud badump’s were consuming you. You had gone deaf to all things but the deafening and shrieking sound of your beating heart. The only person you had was long gone. You felt like throwing up.
Not even the sound of your painful and horrid faint screams of anger and sadness could top to how loud your heartbeat was. Tears ran down your face but all you could feel were vibrations of your accelerated heartbeat.
What else is there to do?
You fell to the floor, not even minding (or feeling) the pain of bumping your head onto one of the drawers’ handle. Your arms were numbly snaked around your legs, pulled closer to your chest. The throbbing pain on your chest was something new; it was far too surreal for you to handle.
You were hiccuping, at the same time nausea rushed over you. To put it simply, you were miserable.
You couldn’t remember falling asleep the previous night – you didn’t even had the strength to stand up. You would’ve considered going back to rest if not for the sudden knock at the door. But even so, you didn’t stir.
“[Y/N]?” You recognized that voice to be Etsuko, the tenant from right across the hallway. “It’s me, open up!”
You didn’t have enough courage or even air to be able to give a coherent reply – hell, even blinking felt like too much work. And yet, she knocked once more.
In all honesty, you couldn’t ever see yourself leaving that spot on the kitchen floor. Not only were you going through a mental breakdown, but an existencial crisis made itself present. I’m all alone. There’s nowhere else to go. Should I stay here? I have no clue where to go. Mom is gone and I can’t think straight. . . I might as well just rot here.
You caught yourself darkly letting out a dry, humorless, chuckle – I’m done for. And you were far too distracted with your endless ruminating, you didn’t even notice Etsuko coming inside. Forgot we had a spare key under the rug.
The woman stared in pity down at you. Your eyes were red, dark bags under your sockets. Your eyelids were droopy but you still managed to flash a cracked smile. Your vision was still far too blurry for you to be able to properly look at your neighbor; when she reached out for you, her arms were nothing more than a faint pink blur.
Taking notice of that, she snaked an arm around you and carefully helped you up. Her body is too weak. The poor thing. . . With steady steps, you woobly made your way to your room. Etsuko gently lied you on your bed, you not able to even mumble a thank you. But Etsuko didn’t mind.
Tears still made their way out the corner of your eyes, your shoulders harshly going up and down. Even if your stomach was grumbling, it was still nothing compared to the aching in your chest.
Let’s face it: my mom is dead and all I ever do is weep. Surely “it” scarred me pretty good but I suppose – is it expected of me! – I have to move forward. It’s been only a day but this isn’t the time to falter. We have a menace out there and I don’t expect everyone will remain locked up inside for long. . .
I will most likely lose the last of my sanity if I stay here. And if I recall wisely. . . “Keep moving.” That’s what I have to do. And to think, I’ll be out there by myself – but it’s still better than rotting here and expecting for nothing to happen. . . Things always go to shit in zombie movies, right?
I need to plan a route, or that’s what I would consider if I had any idea where to go. . . What do I do? Well, I guess for the time being I’ll stick to reestablishing my psychological and physical strength to be able to face whatever’s out there. Those are going to be absurdly quiet nights. . .
You, once again, didn’t even notice the moment Etsuko left the room, only to come back a few minutes later with a plate with your breakfast and a glass of milk.
“You need to eat something.”