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Halone must have been smiling down on them for they could not have asked for better weather in Ishgard as of late. Though still cold, the sky was clear and bright and there was no chilling breeze blowing through the streets- a perfect day to head out to market or take a stroll about town. However, Tokki had gone for more than a stroll and now she found herself looking up at the gates of Judgement, debating if she wanted to head out into the snows of Coerthas or not.
“Passing through the gates Miss Yue?” The guard on duty called to her, having noticed Tokki standing there. She wasn’t surprised he knew her name; there were few in Ishgard who didn’t these days. But Tokki had passed through these gates so many times in the past week that the guards now anticipated her coming. She glanced over at the man who had called out to her and she smiled kindly at him, nodding her head slightly to indicate that she did indeed plan to pass through the gates. The guard returned the nod and motioned to another guard who set in motion the raising of the gate. Tokki passed through with a wave of thanks to the guards and began the long walk back to Coerthas.
The sun was high in the sky by the time she arrived at the snowy hillside. Tokki’s cheeks were bright red from both the walk and the cold, but luckily, she had bundled up well for the trip and did not feel at all cold as she turned her attention towards the dark marker in the distance. How many times had she come here now? Too many to keep track of at this point, especially now that the Warriors of Light had found themselves with more free time than they knew what to do with these days.
Nidhogg had been felled, Estinien saved and a new era for Ishgard begun. Blaise had been spending her free time either reading or in the company of Alphinaud, the two having grown even closer in their time spent in Ishgard. Kien had found his down time being split between helping Tataru and Emmanellain Fortemps. That boy had a knack for grand schemes that never seemed to work out quite right and Kien had been pulled into being his unlikely compatriot in many of them lately. Everyone seemed to have something to do to keep themselves busy; Tokki was not so lucky.
Without any major task to complete or some adventure to take on, Tokki no longer had anything to keep her distracted from the feelings she had yet to sort through. There had been plenty of crying at first –something she had tried desperately to hide from her friends as she did not want them to worry—then the feeling of guilt that it had taken her this long to mourn at all, and now it was just an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. Would she ever feel normal again, or was this her new normal?
Aymeric had certainly tried to fill her free time, both to distract her from her pain and to give him something else to focus on outside of his new responsibilities and the sadness he still felt over the loss of a close friend. While they had clung to each other recently out of a shared sense of guilt and sadness, even that had begun to feel like a hollow excuse to simply ignore the pain.
It didn’t take long until she reached her destination, the grey tombstone right in front of her, Haurchefant’s damaged shield still sitting reverently beside it. Tokki kneeled and smiled at the bouquet of white flowers lying upon the snow in front of the grave. Francel had been here at some point today; another frequent guest to this quiet place. Tokki leaned forward and brushed the building snow from the shield gently before settling back and dropping her head in silent contemplation.
She missed him terribly. She missed his bright smile every time his gaze landed upon her, missed the warmth of his voice when he spoke to her quietly in some secluded corner, she missed the feeling of his fingers running through her hair gently and the heat of his body against hers when they kept each other warm on the coldest nights. She had loved him, of that she was sure, and now he was gone. All she had left of him were her memories and the stack of letters he had written to his father about her. They would have to be enough, but Tokki could not help but wish he was still with her.
“So much has happened since you left us…” She murmured softly, her bright aqua eyes opening to once more gaze upon his grave as her long ears dropped slightly. “I know I haven’t spoken to you these past few days I’ve visited; I think I was afraid that I would start crying if I tried. But I feel like I have cried as much as I am able now, so perhaps talking will do me some good.” She sighed lightly, clasping her hands together in her lap as she worried her bottom lip a bit, not exactly sure what she was going to say next. “Everyone is doing well, or at least as well as can be, given the circumstances. Ishgard will be moving headfirst towards a new future, the one you believed could be achieved from the minute my friends and I had agreed to help.”
She smiled at the memory of his certainty that Tokki and the others would save Ishgard and push it in a new direction. He had been so staunch in his belief that he had never even been worried about them possibly failing. Another trait Tokki had found so endearing in him. “Aymeric is still sitting at the helm of everything, despite the fact that he actually tried to step down from his seat of power.” She laughed a little at that. “He was not very keen on the idea of leading the council of Lords and Commons, but somehow they convinced him it was the best idea moving forward.”
She paused again, uncertain if she wished to speak the next thing that came to mind, as it was still a fresh memory in her mind and heart. But after a few moments, she took another breath and kept on. “I would tell you about our daring rescue of Estinien, but I’m fairly certain you already know all about that…” She whispered quietly; her gaze intense as she looked at the tombstone. “I felt you there that day. I had just begun to think I did not have the strength to wrench the eye free of Estinien’s armor and then suddenly there was warmth I could not explain spreading through my body. When I looked, I swear I saw you beside me, smiling and lending me the extra strength I needed to save him.”
She took a deep breath to calm her emotions, as she could feel the tell-tale signs of tears starting to prick at the back of her eyes. “Still doing your best to serve even in death… how was I so lucky to be loved by you?” Another pause, this time to simply gaze out over the horizon, noting that sun was finally starting to descend, and the air was growing colder. A few tears slipped down her cheeks, though she made no move to brush them away. “You will always be there beside me; I know. Lending me your strength to push on when I start to feel like I have none left of my own. I will carry your love with me always.” She finally whispered, reaching out to place her hand upon the tombstone softly.
She remained on the hilltop for a while longer, the shadows growing longer around her as the day began to slip away. It wasn’t until the twilight hour that Tokki realized it had gotten much too cold to simply be out sitting in the snow and she finally made to stand, her tears long since dried by now.
“Back again?” Tokki turned in surprise at the voice, her eyes falling upon her dear friend Blaise. The young Au’ra stood not too far, a small smile on her face as she looked at her, strawberry-blonde hair blowing lightly in the wind that had begun to pick up. “We grew a bit worried when it got late, and you hadn’t returned for dinner.” She added, walking up.
“We?” Tokki questioned, brow raised. Blaise just smiled and motioned with her head for Tokki to look back behind her. Walking up was the rest of the motley crew, all of them bundled up against the cold but looking unfazed.
“Tokki!” Tataru shouted happily, the Lalafell bounding up happily the moment her eyes had landed on the Viera. “Are you ok?” She questioned, her tone softening a great deal as she gazed up at her friend.
“I’m better now.” Tokki replied, waving at Kien as he pulled up the rear with Alphinaud. “How could I not be when all of my friends have come to get me?” she added, smiling down at Tataru. This seemed to satisfy her, and she nodded happily.
“You’re going to miss dinner if you stand out here in the cold any longer.” Kien stated, a small smirk on the Miqo’tes lips as he crossed his arms.
“It’s going to be delicious! I begged the chef to make a bunch of our favorites!” Tataru chimed in, clasping her hands behind her and rocking onto her toes. She looked so absolutely pleased with herself that Tokki couldn’t help but laugh.
“Perhaps for dessert then, I’ll make hot cocoa for everyone. I have the best recipe to go off.” Tokki replied, gazing around the group. A look of understanding seemed to settle upon each of her friends in short order and they all nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion.
“It is the best hot cocoa to warm one up on a cold night.” Alphinaud replied softly, though he smiled warmly at the memory of his first cup of the stuff.
“My thoughts exactly.” Tokki replied. There was then a moment of silence as Tokki looked around at all her friends and realized that she had more than just one person to rely on for strength moving forward. “Did you all walk here?” she finally asked incredulously, noting that she didn’t see any chocobos nearby.
“Of course not! It would have been way too late if we’d walked.” Tataru laughed.
“We left them back with the guards at the gates, though we should hurry back. I don’t think they were terribly pleased with babysitting two chocobos and a cart.” Blaise added, motioning to the others to start walking.
“With the amount we are paying them to do so, they shouldn’t complain.” Kien commented, following after Alphinaud as he led the way back. “It’s almost as bad as the amount of money I don’t get paid to help Tataru with all her work.” He complained good-naturedly. Tataru, who was walking beside him, looked up at him with a cheeky grin.
“As a Warrior of Light, it’s part of your job to help a fellow Scion with official business.” She replied with a laugh. Kien just sighed and shook his head while Alphinaud and Blaise laughed along with Tataru. Tokki smiled as she walked along, Blaise falling in step beside her.
“We should be back just in time for dinner though.” Alphinaud pointed out, turning his head to gaze back at the group. “So just think about that being worth the money for bringing the chocobos.”
“I can’t wait!” Kien replied with a grin, his ears wiggling in anticipation of a hot meal.
As the conversation between the others carried on, Blaise managed to snag Tokki’s attention, and she smiled at her friend warmly. “I hope we didn’t interrupt you…” Her voice trailed off.
“It’s fine. I was just thinking I needed to head back.” Tokki replied quickly, dispelling any doubt Blaise had.
“How long were you out here for?” she asked curiously, noting Tokki’s bright red cheeks and the snow still clinging to her clothing and even her the tips of her ears and long black hair.
“Most of the afternoon, I think. I got here about midday If I’m not mistaken.” She replied.
“I’m surprised you stayed out here that long… I thought you didn’t like the cold?” Blaise questioned, looking at Tokki curiously.
“I’ve gotten used to it I think.” Tokki smiled back softly. “After all, Ishgard is my home.” Tokki smiled softly. A small look of surprise crossed Blaise’s face at her words, before it quickly changed into a wide smile.
“That it is.” She replied brightly, clasping her hands together.
“I’m very much in the mood for some hot cocoa.” Tokki stated after a moment. “Let’s hurry home.” And with that, the two of them hurried to catch up to their friends just a little further ahead.