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Finn woke up in a room that was not his own. He looked around, frowned, and put his head in his hands, rubbing his face to drive away the sleepiness. Dropping his hands, he began examining the room. The space beside him on the bed was empty, the sheets were rumpled, and still had the warmth left by the previous occupant.
A smile crept across Finn's face as he reminisced about last night. And then his smile suddenly dropped as he realised what that meant. Fuck. He didn't have the will to go through all of those thoughts right now. What it meant. The… event did help to confirm all of the suspicions he had about himself, who he was, or rather who he liked.
But, Finn wasn't a guy like this. He didn't sleep around; he didn’t care for mindless pleasure, he craved something more meaningful. In reality, yesterday had been anything but meaningful, then why did Finn feel otherwise ? He felt like there was something more here, lying under the unspoken words, and conveyed by the soft and tentative touches.
He just decided to let it go for now and get up. He swung his legs off of the bed, got up, and picked up his clothes that were discarded, or rather thrown, on the floor last night. He bent over to pick them up, his body protesting as he did so.
He looked over at the mirror after he got dressed. He could hear light noises coming from inside, ceramics clinking against each other, the faint whistle of a kettle, and a low and gentle voice humming a melody that he didn't know. He knew what was waiting for him.
He ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to appear more put together, despite the fact that he was a mess inside; he had no idea what he was doing.
He walked through the door and into the corridor; he tried to remember his way, but he hadn't paid any mind to his surroundings last night, having been focused on... other activities.
He moved slowly toward the voice and peeked inside the doorframe.
"Uh, hey." Jesse's head perked up from where he was staring into the teacup mindlessly; caught by surprise, he responded.
"You're up early; a couple of hours more, and you could have slept into the next day." Jesse giggled, looking up at him. The sound bringing joy to Finn, he retorted back.
"Well, you did kind of wear me out last night, so." He tried his best at flirting; even though it was a bit awkward, it seemed to work somehow, as Jesse smiled fondly at him.
"I didn't hear any complaints." He answered, sounding very pleased with himself.
He raised the cup to his lips and took a sip. Finn watched his lips wrap around the cup and his Adams apple bop as he drank the tea. He blushed lightly as he realised where his thoughts were going and stopped himself. Thankfully, Jesse spoke next.
"Let me fix you something to eat. Restore some of that energy, huh?" He got up and turned around, looking inside cupboards and gathering stuff.
"You don't need to do that, man, really. I was just leaving anyway." He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and laughed nervously.
If he stayed, he would have to... face this. Which he absolutely did not have the strength to. What was he supposed to say? Should he even say anything in the first place? Stuff like this happens, right? It doesn't mean anything; it's just a night of fun, right? But Finn couldn’t bring himself to think like that; he... Jesse spoke then, stopping his train of thought.
"C’mon, it’s just breakfast. Call it a thank you for last night."
“Oh. Right. Uh, yeah. It was my pleasure... literally.”
He laughed, and Jesse joined him. The laughter died down after a while, which left them standing there and staring into each other's eyes. The room felt too small then, like there wasn't any space except their little bubble, like everything else just stopped existing. And the entire world was in those baby blue eyes.
Jesse coughed to break the tension and continued his task of making grilled cheese, his face considerably redder. Finn suddenly shaken out of his trance, blinked, and looked around, trying to find something to do with himself—anything to keep him occupied. Thank god Jesse always found the right time to talk.
"Why don't you just sit there while I finish this up? He said, gesturing to the chair opposite of the one he was sitting in moments ago.
"Yes. Yeah, sure."
Not a word passed between them until Jesse set the plate in front of him and sat down with a fresh cup of tea himself.
"What about you?"
"I already ate. You took forever to wake up."
Finn stared at Jesse as he took his first bite.
"Sorry."
"Why are you apologising?"
"Just. you said. for waking up late?"
Jesse opened his mouth to talk but then just ended up chuckling warmly.
"You know I was just teasing you?"
"Oh. Sorry."
"Stop apologizing. Oh my god." Jesse breaks into a fit of giggles. Typically, anyone laughing at him would make him feel intimidated, but this one felt sincere. It didn't make him feel belittled, it made him feel, dare he say, loved.
Finn opened his mouth, but as he realised what he was about to say, he just decided to take another bite of his toast.
"Finn. I- . I know you'd rather just ignore it, but I can’t. I need to know. What exactly are you looking for here? I don't want to rush anything, just. I want us both to be on the same page." Jesse spoke calmly; his voice would have been very soothing, had the matter being discussed not been such a nerve-wracking one for him.
He had no idea how to answer that question. At first they were just supposed to be chatting friendly, catching up after all those years of not seeing each other.
Then he started feeling all these… things. He wanted to be closer to Jesse. Not just physically but emotionally. He wanted to get to know him—the him that no one else got to see. He wanted to not only catch up on the lost years but also learn about his past before that, learn every little detail about him. Why he felt all these things were unknown to him, but there was nothing he could do about it.
He zoned out then, remembering their little meeting. They had bumped into each other on campus 2 days ago; after chatting for a bit, they had decided to meet for coffee and catch up with each other. Even though they haven't been the best of friends in the past, they were going to the same college now, and Finn really wouldn't mind having a familiar face around this big and foreign city.
So they met for coffee. And got to talking. And talked even more. Gradually Finn had an inkling that his feelings were somehow reciprocated. To which degree he didn't know then, but he could feel the pull between them.
Finn didn't remember how the topic got there, but Jesse mentioned a musical, one of his favourites, he said. He looked so offended when Finn told him he had never watched it before. It seemed just like a friendly gesture then, when Jesse invited him to his house to watch the bootleg together.
Somewhere during the first half of the show, they slid closer together on the couch, unconsciously. Finn felt a hand creep through his back to reach his shoulder; it wasn't anything much; it could be taken as a friendly pat on the shoulder, but the way it lingered on his skin just a second longer, and the way Jesse had tensed next to him told him otherwise.
It was his turn then. This was the moment. He could either do nothing and just watch a good movie with a friend. Or he could... go further.
He had been wanting to experiment for a while. He knew that he wasn't completely straight. He wasn't lying to himself. All those times a hot guy turned his head on the street, that guy he crushed on at middle school, that time he watched gay porn, he told himself then that he only watched it to make fun of it... only he liked it a little too much.
There had been too many "incidents" that he could no longer fool himself, nor did he want to, now that he was out of high school and Ohio. This was New York. He didn't have to pretend anymore or shove that part of himself deep down. He knew who he was.
But the fact was, he had never tested out this hunch. Maybe he wouldn't even like it when it became a reality. Maybe those times were just a once in a lifetime thing. Which didn't really sound possible, but... He just needed to be certain.
And that is the only reason he did what he did next; at least he'd like to think so. He leaned in closer and put his hand on Jesse’s shoulder, forcing him to look towards Finn.
They stayed in the same position for what felt like an hour, gazing into each other's eyes. Both were scared to move; the air around them felt tense, like with one wrong move everything might just break, but being the bolder one, Jesse leaned in, stopping right before their lips met, as if asking Finn for permission. Finn closed the gap between them, putting his other hand on Jesse's cheek to steady himself as he got lost in his lips.
Finn felt his heart skip a beat, as Jesse gripped his collar, pulling him impossibly closer. Jesse’s skin was soft under his touch, growing redder by the second. It all felt overwhelming to Finn, but in a nice way. He felt like he was hyper aware of every
spot where his skin touched Jesse’s, further sending excitement to his brain, as the desire took all over Finn.
They pulled apart, out of breath, their faces still so close together that Finn could feel Jesse's breath inside his mouth. After catching up his breath and gathering his thoughts, Jesse spoke.
"So... are you..."
"I don't really know. And I don't care."
"Do you want to...?"
Finn nodded enthusiastically.
"Are you sure? I would never want to do something you're uncomfortable with."
"Yes. I'm sure. I want to be with you."
And that's how he ended up here. Sitting opposite the man that just gave him his first gay experience, being asked what he wanted out of this. How was he supposed to know that?!
Of course he didn't want this to last just one night. If yesterday was any indication of how it felt to be around Jesse, Finn sure did want more of that. And not just the physical part, which was indeed awesome, but just talking to him, he made Finn feel like not only was he listened to, but that Jesse cared for what he had to say. And whenever he made an embarrassing remark, Jesse never made him feel ashamed for it; he would just giggle in this very cute way that he did, his eyes shining and wrinkles around them becoming prominent. Finn found it very endearing—not that he would ever say that out loud.
"I want to try it out. Try us out. If you want it too, of course." Jesse looked at him surprised, like he wasn't expecting that response, like he expected Finn to just call this a one-time thing and leave. Really? Did Jesse really think that much of him? Like he would sleep with someone- an act that he never took lightly, as it made him feel very vulnerable to open himself up that way- and just abandon them? He wasn't a jerk like that! But Jesse didn't know that. This really wasn't the ideal way to start a relationship; Finn understood that now. Especially if he wanted this to last a while. Which he truly did.
Why was he being this way about a man who he used to hate years ago and only re-met with 2 days ago?! All of it was so confusing. Why him? He never saw Jesse in a romantic light before; hell, he didn't see him in any light. He used to see him only as the guy standing in the way of him getting back with Rachel.
But the Jesse sitting in front of him now felt so different to the one before, like they were two different people. Finn looked into Jesse's eyes as if they held all the answers to his questions. Alas, Jesse seemed as lost as he felt.
After taking another sip of his tea and contemplating his next words, Jesse finally answered.
"I must say, I did not see that coming." He grinned at first, but as he noticed Finn's troubled expression, he quickly added.
"I didn't mean that as a bad thing! It's perfectly fine to just want to experiment and experience this for yourself. Which was what I thought you wanted but... apparently not?"
"I did! That's why I agreed in the first place. I wanted to be certain. Which I am now. And I have got you to thank for."
"You don't need to thank me. Feelings are mutual."
"And... what might... those feelings be?"
"I like you, Finn. Let's leave it at that." Jesse sighed.
Finn finished the last bite of his sandwich and smiled at the man in front of him. Jesse smiled back, then fished his phone out of his pocket, sliding it across the table towards Finn.
"I doubt this is the last time we will see each other. So may I have the honour of having your number?" Jesse asked, complete with a flirtatious grin. It made Finn's heart flip in his chest.
He accepted the phone with a grin of his own, albeit a bit more shy than Jesse's. He typed in his number and returned the phone. Finn was more than curious to see where all of this would lead. But only the future would tell.
Snapping out of his love drunken haze, he suddenly remembered to check the clock, which was showing 12:36. Shit! He remembered his shift starting at one o'clock.
"I really did sleep in late, damn, it's already noon. I need to get going. I have work and stuff."
Jesse nodded and followed him as he made his way towards the front door.
"Don't be a stranger, alright?"
"I don't think I can, even if I wanted to. You got your hook way too deep." He smiled warmly at Jesse, who blushed for the first time Finn had ever seen, his mouth agape like a fish out of water. Finn’s heart was beating so fast he could feel it drumming inside his ears.
"Who knew you could be so... brazen?"
Finn just shrugged his shoulders innocently and stared with those adorable puppy eyes that he has, like he just didn't say the most romantic and sappy line after nothing but a coffee between friends and a hookup.
"I'm just saying the stuff I feel."
"God, you're something else, you know that?" Jesse chuckled, shaking his head. Finn glances at him, smiling. He steps out the door and waves before he leaves.
Jesse is left staring at the spot Finn had just occupied; he smiles fondly at himself as he closes the door.
They might have bid their goodbyes for now, but Jesse felt like this was only the start of something bigger.