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Akaashi steals a discrete glance towards Nekoma’s captain. The tall guy’s shoulders are quite broad and strong – excellent for spiking –, his limbs are long – his arms are perfect for blocking, his legs are perfect for propelling him high in the air.
The sliver of skin revealed between the waistband of his shorts and the hem of his shirt when he jumps is absolutely tantalizing. It makes Akaashi shiver lightly.
Akaashi has found himself watching Kuroo and thinking about him much too often now. And that one thought he can’t get rid of is… How would Kuroo-san’s lips feel on my own?
He shakes his head every time that though dares resurface in his mind. It’s an unnecessarily confusing dilemma – his sexuality. He doesn’t know when he started questioning himself, or when exactly he started feeling a certain attraction towards the eternally bed-headed captain, but his internal argument has been nagging at him for the past… months, and he wants to resolve it as soon as possible, or at least part –
“Akaashi! Toss to meeeeee!”
There’s a loud shout from somewhere to his right, and Akaashi is instantly snapped back to reality, his jumbled up thoughts scattered to the ends of his mind. He gazes at the back of the court and then up; the ball Hinata miraculously just received is coursing toward him in a wide parabola. He gazes down; Bokuto’s feet have just set into motion, he’s on his second step, the third one will be the last one and then he’ll jump.
Akaashi takes a step back to enter the path of the ball and lifts up his arms, his thumbs and index fingers forming a relaxed triangle in which the ball lands smoothly, touching his palms only for a split second, before he pushes it back in the desired direction.
The toss is a little off, given that Akaashi’s mind was somewhere else just before he was summoned to act, but Bokuto still manages to land a powerful spike into their opponent’s side of the court, scoring the match point.
“Yeeeeesaahhhhh!” Bokuto shouts, his voice just a tad too loud for Akaashi’s liking – but Bokuto is always loud, and Akaashi knows it. “How’d you liked that, eh? Kuroo? Lev? Tsukki? I’m the best, am I not?” He continues, overly-enthusiastic.
“Bokuto-san… Please…” Akaashi sighs softly, covering his face with a hand.
There’s a genuinely amused laugh beside him, and Akaashi turns back to find himself facing the reason why he was thinking about something else during the match.
“Let him be, Akaashi. You know there’s nothing to do about it, anyway.” Kuroo speaks, leaning closer to the net, that shit-eating grin plastered on his – pink… beautiful… lips…
Akaashi’s breath catches in his throat and, for a moment, he forgets what Kuroo just told him.
“Ah, yes. You’re right, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi manages, trying to ease down the tremble in his voice, just as Bokuto and Hinata are screaming and high-fiving in the back of the court.
Kuroo is so close to him. Akaashi can almost feel the warmth irradiating from his body – his muscles heated from the exercise. A mixed smell of sweat and cologne makes it into Akaashi’s nostrils, tickling him, sending shivers down his spine, and he leans closer almost unnoticeably to take in more of it.
Akaashi notices all of that in less than a second.
“Are you guys coming with us? We’re going to eat now!” Bokuto shouts then. Lev has already joined him and Hinata, the first years roaring in agreement, and Tsukishima is picking up his towel from the side of the net but he nods, content with the idea of ending practice.
“Nah. I feel like trying some of Akaashi’s tosses.” Kuroo says, voice raised for Bokuto to hear him, but never taking his eyes away from Akaashi’s. “If that’s okay with you?” He adds, lower.
“Alright! We’ll save you guys a portion for when you’re finished.” Bokuto says in reply, just as Akaashi gives a small nod, silently answering Kuroo’s last question.
The door to the Third Gymnasium closes with a thud. Suddenly there’s only silence in the vast room, and it feels almost as deafening as Bokuto’s incessant shouts.
Akaashi fidgets a little where he stands, not knowing what to do now that he’s completely alone with Kuroo and his thoughts. Kuroo seems unaffected by the slightly awkward atmosphere as he pushes the box full of volley balls next to them and the net.
“I’m a little surprised you asked me to toss to you, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi speaks softly as Kuroo takes a ball from the box and walks back a few steps.
The boy in question looks at him with an eyebrow cocked and his typical grin pulling at his lips. He presses the volley ball to his side, and put his other hand to his hip, taking a relaxed stance.
“Oh? You’re hurting me, Akaashi. Can’t I want to bond with you?” Kuroo says softly, eyebrows falling down. Akaashi’s heart beats loudly in his ears. “Or maybe I want to get to know your tosses better, so that I can block even more of Bokuto’s spikes.”
That smug expression is back on Kuroo’s face, and Akaashi’s shoulders slump a little, slightly disappointed. He straightens himself and looks back into Kuroo’s amber irises.
“You already block at least seventy percent of Bokuto’s spikes.”
“And what about the other thirty percent, then?” Akaashi sighs and looks down to his feet. Kuroo laughs and continues. “C’mon, Akaashi, just a few tosses. ‘Cause even though I’m a middle blocker I also need to practice my spikes. Please?”
When Akaashi looks up at him, Kuroo has placed the ball in front of his mouth and nose, and all Akaashi can see are those – totally unfair puppy eyes. And he can’t say no to those.
Akaashi grunts, rolls his eyes and nods in agreement.
***
Akaashi has lost count of how many times he has tossed for Kuroo.
He’s lost count of how many times his heart has stopped beating at the sight of the expression of pure satisfaction on Kuroo’s face when he hits a powerful spike.
And Kuroo keeps asking for more tosses.
“Your energy is different from Kenma’s, it’s nice and it makes me want to keep going.” Kuroo tells him at some point, and Akaashi’s stomach churns, the joy he feels making his skin vibrate.
God damn it. Akaashi thinks to himself. I’ve never felt so fucking gay in my entire life.
It feels nice being (sort of) praised by Kuroo, but it also stings a little in his heart, because Kuroo seems completely obnoxious to his struggle. Akaashi wonders how he’s react if he voiced his thoughts to him. Would he be disgusted? Would he awkwardly reject him? Would he surprise him and return his feelings?
Akaashi’s mind is full of questions when he feels something hit him directly on his head. He stumbles, unsteady on his feet and slightly dizzy after the impact. He reaches his arms out, looking for something to grasp for he feels he’ll fall any second – and he does something.
“Ah, shit! I’m sorry, Akaashi!” Kuroo’s voice reaches him through the soft mantle of numbness wrapped around his mind as his fingers curl around Akaashi’s wrists and hold him up.
Akaashi trips on his own feet, and lets himself fall against Kuroo’s broad chest. “My – head.” He groans, trying to blink away the stars dancing behind his eyelids.
“I’m so sorry! I forgot to check if you were ready before throwing the ball…” Kuroo’s voice is thick with concern. “Do you need to lay down?”
“No, I’m fine.” Akaashi answers softly.
He suddenly realizes about their proximity, about Kuroo’s strong chest under his palms, about Kuroo’s soft palms on his back, about Kuroo’s warm breath on his hair –
Akaashi pulls away quickly.
“Are we done?” Akaashi asks, and he winces at how sharp it sounds. But he doesn’t give Kuroo the time to answer, turning back on his heels, looking down to the floor, face hot and bothered, and walking towards the door.
Kuroo jogs behind him, and quickly catches up to him. Before Akaashi can react, the taller boy’s fingers have clasped his wrist once more; he softly tugs at Akaashi’s hand, making him turn around and look at him.
“Akaashi.” Kuroo murmurs, and there’s something like hurt and concern mixed together in his tone.
Akaashi stares down at his feet. But doing that means he has to look at Kuroo’s hand gripping his. He doesn’t want to look up, though, not with the blush he feels creeping up on his cheeks.
“Kuroo-san.” Akaashi tries to sound calm and composed, but his heart feels like it’s going to leap out of his chest. “I’m fine. I’m hungry now, and I’d like to go and eat. It’s kind of late.”
“Something tells me it’s not your stomach what’s bothering you.” The taller guy says softly, his grip around Akaashi’s wrist tightening ever so softly. “You can talk to me about it. I won’t tell anyone, it’ll be just between you and me. I promise.”
Kuroo takes a small step forward, and Akaashi battles between backing away and closing the distance between them and pressing his body against Kuroo’s.
In the end he doesn’t move.
His mind is racing and his heart is beating erratically. He feels dizzy and warm and – confused. About this situation, about his thoughts, about himself. He wants this endless questioning to end, he wants to know for sure, he –
“I’m so confused, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi’s voice speaks up softly, airy, just as the cool night’s air outside the gym. He doesn’t stop himself from continuing, and talks while looking at Kuroo’s hand around his. “I don’t know – if I’m attracted to you or not. I just – know I can’t stop thinking about you, and all these thoughts take so much space in my mind, and so much of my energy. I just want to – kiss you. And then I think I’ll know for sure. About all of this. About myself.” He stops and catches his breath. “This doesn’t make any sense, I apologize.”
“It does make sense.” Kuroo doesn’t skip a beat. “And don’t apologize, please.” Akaashi nods, still looking down. The taller man inhales too, deeply, maybe taking a few moments to take in all of the info Akaashi just provided him with. “Akaashi, look at me.” Kuroo finally speaks.
Akaashi shuts his eyes tightly and gulps down, utter shame overtaking him.
Kuroo’s eyes are soft and his smile is gentle when he dares look up. Akaashi almost feels like he doesn’t deserve those. He almost wishes Kuroo would yell at him and tell him to go look for another person to experiment with.
He wants to look away, tear his gaze from Kuroo’s and hide his embarrassingly flushed cheeks, but he doesn’t. Something deep inside him prevents him from doing so.
“You can kiss me if you want to.” There’s a small spark in Kuroo’s eyes when he breathes out the words.
That spark ignites a flame in Akaashi’s chest.
Akaashi slowly brings up his free hand to press it behind Kuroo’s neck, and he stands on his tiptoes to reach his mouth. He closes his eyes, feeling Kuroo’s warm breath brushing his cheeks, and when they finally touch –
Soft.
That’s how Kuroo’s lips feel against his.
Akaashi presses softly against him, hesitant to make any further moves but aching to feel more of Kuroo. His conflicting thoughts bring tears to the corners of his eyes, and there’s a lump in his throat when he tries to breathe.
Kuroo’s hand lets go of his wrist and he presses both of his palms to Akaashi’s hips, slipping under the fabric of Akaashi’s shirt and rubbing slow circles over his hipbones. Akaashi shivers at the touch – it’s the most intimate touch he’s ever gotten from someone else –, and somehow he manages to relax a little. Akaashi can feel the relieved smile on Kuroo’s lips when the younger one lets himself fall against his chest.
Akaashi tilts his head to the side, and Kuroo mirrors his movement. There’s a fait smooch sound when their lips glide over each other’s, and the kiss deepens.
Without noticing, Akaashi reached up his other hand; his fingers curl into Kuroo’s messy bangs. Kuroo’s hands are warm and gentle on his hips, and the taller boy sighs softly into his mouth when Akaashi takes his lower lip between his own and sucks lightly, experimenting.
His own heartbeat and their erratic breaths are the only thing Akaashi can hear.
He parts from Kuroo’s lips to gasp for air. His shallow breaths fill his ears, as well as Kuroo’s soft chuckle. The taller man wraps his arms around Akaashi’s back and presses his lips to his forehead.
“You know…” Kuroo lets his sentence drift away for a moment, then proceeds. “I was waiting for you to make a move, actually.” His voice is soft and Akaashi’s heart flutters in his chest. “But I didn’t know you were struggling this much. If I’d have known… I would have definitely helped you out.” He paused, releasing a long breath into Akaashi’s hair. “’Cause that’s how good I am.”
Akaashi punches Kuroo’s chest – but without any real force in his blow. Kuroo huffs out a small laugh, and he wraps his arms tighter on Akaashi’s back. Akaashi smiles and breathes in softly, taking in Kuroo’s scent once more, but taking the time to do it properly now that he’s pressed flush against him. And that’s when he realizes –
“Did you just – confess to me? Sort of?” He inquires, pulling his head away from Kuroo and looking at him in the eye.
“Uh…” Kuroo clears his throat. “Yeah?” Kuroo’s face was previously dusted with pink, but it’s now entirely flushed with a deep crimson. “Don’t – don’t sweat about it, though. If you’re still unsure, that’s alright. I’m a patient man.”
Warmth blooms in Akaashi’s chest as he nuzzles into Kuroo’s neck. “Thank you.”
He doesn’t know if all of his questions have been answered. He doesn’t know if his internal struggle will intensify or go away with this kiss and this confession. He’s unsure of a lot of things…
But Kuroo’s arms around him, his mouth pressed to his temple, all of his warmth is comfortable and reassuring and that’s all that matters in this moment.
And Akaashi wants to take the most of it while it lasts. And maybe… he wants it to last forever.