Chapter Text
I never though there was going to be a day where I woke up to an empty world, to a blank canvas.
My mind cand fully perceive it yet, how do you look in the mirror for the same face you’ve seen since one has a memory is suddenly gone? replaced with such carelessness, did my body not matter at all? Was the vessel in which mi soul was placed really could have been ravaged horridly only for another one to take its place like nothing?
I can feel myself racing but I can’t land a thought at all, what I could possibly have done to deserve this? Was the pain of my body being desecrated and usurped not enough? Did my mother really hate me that much to save my life, only to make me submit to this?
Just looking at myself in the mirror takes a piece of me, every time, the action of staring in wonder to who the person standing in front of me is, cause certainly is not me, in any shape or form, in any likeness, how could I even be asked to recognise him? A carcass that can bother to wear any of my scars, the imprinted memories of all the things that I’ve lived through and survived, all of them a reminder of why I’m still alive, gone.
Part of me wants to think this is reversable, and for that I don’t want anyone to look at me, not until I’m fixed, not just yet, but maybe I’m just holding hope for a nonexistent solution, maybe, I don’t know.
One thing I know is, before going to bed, this might be the first one of what there going to be the worst nights of my life.