Chapter Text
Ochako dragged herself out of bed sluggishly, dark circles formed under her eyes from lack of sleep. How could she sleep,
so soon after the war? Her fight with Toga was a fresh wound in her mind she'd killed her after all, a sign that
she probably had some deep rooted trauma now. She stood silently, cursing under her breath as she kicked over a small
plushie on the floor that squeaked as it bounced against the hard wood. She marched in silence, deciding to turn her
fan off before turning on her heel to make her bed as a temporary distraction.
Rain tapped against the balcony door and windows, a consequence of Deku's performance during the war, she was told. It was
hard to believe the small, frail boy she used to know at the beginning of the year was so much more...mature now, she guessed?
He was so different now, especially after he..lost One For All. She couldn't imagine what he was going through with that
revelation was it unimaginable pain?, knowing he probably couldn't be a hero for much longer after the embers ran out.
Maybe she should talk to him about it? He'd probably like a shoulder to lean on sometime, maybe soon if she could get out of
therapy earlier than she usually did.
Oh shit, therapy.
Ochako's head whirled around to check her alarm clock, sighing in relief as she realized she had woken up early. It was only 5:30 AM, she had an hour and a half to get to therapy. She didn't enjoy therapy, considering it made her almost late to homeroom, but she knew that it was probably for her own good. She got to "talk about her feelings" and how she failed Himiko all that. She trudged over to the minifridge in her room, a recent addition her friends had helped her buy much to her own dismay, opening it to grab a bottle of water and sip at it slowly, trying to avoid getting ready as much as possible so she could think of an excuse to rot in bed all day.
Like an angel from heaven more like a demon from the 9th circle, really, divine intervention appears knocking on her door.
"Ochako-chan? Are you awake, kero?" The sickly sweet voice at her door spoke up, knocking a few more times just to be sure. Ochako sighed to herself, not sure why she couldn't leave her alone recently Tsu-chan was up so early. She composed herself a bit as she walked over to the door, putting on her best smile she didn't deserve to smile before opening the door to her room, tears threatening to prick her eyes.
"Good morning, Tsu.." She dragged on, pretending she was just tired as she scratched the back of her head. "I'm just now waking up, actually." She lied as easily as she breathed didn't deserve to breathe either, whether or not it was a *good* lie was up to interpretation. She thought she did fine. Thankfully for her, Tsu seemed to buy it for now.
"Oh okay, kero." She smiled back brightly not as bright as her, tilting her head as she brought a finger up to her chin in thought for a moment please shut up. "I've been thinking. It's been a month now since everything happened. Are you sure you've been sleeping well the past few weeks?" She asked, the incredible observer pain in her ass that Tsu was. She'd always been like that, able to accurately predict when her friends were struggling with something. It was endearing annoying, Ochako thought.
Ochako shook her head roughly, shaking away thoughts she shouldn't should, no SHOULDN'T, be thinking, realizing her brain was demonizing her friend for being worried, something she knew she shouldn't be doing.
"Yeah, of course!" She chuckled softly, her hand sliding from the back of her head to her neck as she rubbed the bare skin under her hair softly. "It's been a bit difficult, but I've been getting by." She said, mad at herself for continuing to lie to her friend. Why was she lying? Why couldn't she tell her friends she was struggling? They wouldn't judge her at all, she knows that, she *knows* that. They're her friends, they would understand her, even if she was struggling to sleep because she couldn't stop thinking about the dead girl that stole her heart last month, right before she died.
They would, right? Right? Of course they would not.
"I see, if you're so sure, kero. I just wanted to check in, the other girls are worried, you know?" Tsu-chan replied, still smiling, which continued to hurt Ochako silently. "If you need anyone else to talk to besides Hound Dog, we're here for you too, kero." She almost exclaimed, a spark in her eyes shining that wasn't there before. Ochako stared at her in silence for a moment, just...hurting. Himiko deserved to have that spark. Himiko deserved to be here, to have another chance, to talk, cry, laugh, or just *live*, as herself, not what society wanted her to be.
"Of course," She replied, holding back crying as much as she could. "Thank you, Tsu. That means a lot to me." She said before backing up, getting ready to close the door. "I do have to get ready to go see Hound Dog soon though, so we'll talk more later, sorry!" She finished, not giving Tsu a chance to reply as she closed the door, retreating into the darkness of her room. She heard the girl outside linger for a bit before stepping away down the hall, sighing as she turned and walked to her closet, opening it and pulling her uniform off of the hanger as she started to get dressed for the day.
Strip, skirt, stockings, shirt, tie, jacket, shoes. She repeated her daily motions in silence, closing her closet and walking to her door with dismay, hugging herself tightly in a poor attempt to comfort herself. How pathetic she must be, needing to comfort herself before her day even started. She opened her door and walked out into the dormitory hallway, choosing to walk the stairs and take her time instead of using the elevator, either as penance or simply to take her time. What would Himiko say if she saw her now?
She decided she didn't want to find out.