Work Text:
I sat at home, on the couch, nestled closely up to my trigga GF. Her big, muscular arm held me close to her. We watched netsticks together, cuddling. I am glad that I finally allowed myself to be vulnerable and open up to her. She was never malicious from the start, and she's such a sweet teddy bear once you allow her to be.
I let out a low hum of contentment, letting my eyes close as I sink into her body. Through her stylish green jacket, I can feel her body heat, her defined muscles, and a little bit of boob squish. A smirk finds its way onto my lips.
I felt Madi squeezed her arm around me a bit harder; I looked up at her. She was blushing but smiling all the same.
"You seem rather happy…" Madi grinned.
"I think I am," I responded.
I felt her strength pull me in tighter to the hug, but the plush couch gave way, and I slid at an angle away from her, with my head dropping into her lap. She looked at me with a surprised expression as I sloped out of her grasp before loudly chuckling. Her hand came down and rested on my chest instead. Her free hand came around and rested on my head, over my beanie.
I looked up at her, my view of her face partially obscured by her ample bosom, but her gleaming eyes were visible, looking down at me with much joy.
I feel…. Incredibly lucky. This girl is a wellspring of positivity, just being around her has lifted my spirits. I still fight with the occasional intrusive thought about how I don't deserve her, and I will only end up dragging her down with me. But, I have sort of learned to use that as motivation to do better. Be better. For her. To make sure I don't fall back into that place that I used to be.
I roll onto my side, using her lap for a pillow, and look again at the TV. Madi put on 'Ghost Truckers,' a show about paranormal investigators. Who are also truckers. The 'investigation' mainly consists of a bunch of guys going into a building and challenging the ghost to a fistfight; then, when a 'random noise' (almost certainly the show's producer doing something off-screen), everyone looks at each other, pretending to be freaked out. It's very stupid but good for a laugh. And Madi seemed to like it. She will frequently hug me tighter when the 'scary' parts happen. And I like that too.
I wonder if she is genuine when she says she gets spooked by this stuff, or if it's just an excuse to cling onto me. Either way, I can't complain. However, if it were a real situation where I had to fight ghosts, It's not like I could protect Madi, it would almost certainly be the other way around. She is bigger… and stronger than me.
Which, I found rather emasculating at first, but Madi likes to play the role of the effeminate girlfriend, letting me take charge of most things, asking me to open jars or kill spiders for her, when we both know she could do it just as easily as I could, if not better than me. This too, I considered condescending at first. But I think now she just likes the role reversal.
Turns out, being a big strong tomboy like Madi makes people assume things about you, they treat you differently. She has told me that she never got the same kid gloves treatment as other girls because she was seen as tough and, well, boyish. Seems people just thought she didn't need the extra attention or care.
So, we ended up having that in common. Myself of course always labeled and put into the box of 'troubled urban youth'. It's crazy how fast and harshly people will judge you after a single glance.
Then of course we had the 'getting completely wrapped up in our own heads' thing in common. Again, in different ways, but similar issues. Mine was combativeness. I always assume people are doing things maliciously, with ill intent against me.
Madi however, always blames herself for everything, even if it is CLEARLY not her fault. We both get so wound up in our own conspiracy theories we end up self-destructing while the people around us look on in confusion.
But, I think that's one of the reasons we are so good for each other, we kind of balance each other out, in a way. When I start to boil over at some perceived slight, Madi is there to put a hand on my shoulder and re-center me. And when she begins to spiral, I can stop her in her tracks and bring her back up.
I'm broken from my deep, philosophical thoughts by Madi purring, her hand rubbing my chest in little circles. I shifted to look up at her again. Her eyes glanced down at me, and her slight smile grew wider.
"Madi?" I said, pushing myself up partway on my arm.
"Yeah?" She looked at me, her smile faltering at my serious tone.
"I'm really glad I met you," I said.
She looked stunned for a second, and then a blush creept upon her cheeks. She pouted and looked away.
"Don't just say something like that all of a sudden, you jerk." Madi mumbled. "But I am, too."