Chapter Text
"Wow, what a great day to unalive yourself. Work was shit."
Dazai thought, but no. The story can't continue if this idiot dies. I'll go get the plot armor, so stay here.
"Hm, work was shit today."
Dazai thought to himself, with a sigh. It was sunset in beautiful Yokohama, and Dazai seemed to not enjoy it. Not a single fucking bit. His left arm had 2 small pieces of bandages wrapped around, due to the events of yesterday...
He works as a sales person, not the kind that mindlessly stares at a monitor inside an unventilated cubicle, doing calculations, but the kind who goes home to home on a goddamn cycle, distributing flyers for advertising a shady Chinese fitness bicycle.
Ok, that was as shit as it could get, so let's move on to Chuuya Nakahara, best buddy of Dazai. They used to go to the same middle and high school and even the same job just 4 months before, but Dazai got sacked, so now Chuuya works at a printing press for newspapers. Wow, they do love papers, don't they..
Dazai and Chuuya live in a rented apartment, a very, very small one. It has 2 decently seperate rooms, a living room and a sorry excuse for a kitchen. Chuuya is trying his best to move to the vacant apartment next to their current one, but their house owner seems to increase the rent for that specific house every single fucking week. Is it that special to him?
Ok, that was a bit too detailed. I'll move to dialogue..
Soon after a 15 minute train ride to his nearest station, Dazai walked happily, well that was a sudden change in mood wasn't it? That's because he got something for Chuuya. Well, for both of them. No, only for himself.
Instant noodles. On Chuuya's debit card. 5 fucking huge packs of them.
"Oh, Chibi's gonna be so so so happy~" he again thought to himself as he let out a silent sing-song tune as he turned right to his apartment.
He walked through the entrance, and his neighbor, Yosano waved at him. She was just like his older sister (one which he never had, single child iykyk)
"How was today, Dazai?" She asked. The two friendly kids, Kenji and Kyouka were playing rock, paper and scissors, waiting for their aunt to finish talking.
"Not much, Ane-san. They still are reluctant in raising my pay.. adulting is so hard."
"Of course, I get you. It will get better, so don't worry. Seems that I'm wasting your time, you probably have to get going. Chuuya's going to be mad then."
"Oh oh, it's alright. We'll chat later. Carry on."
Chuuya, from the first floor, heard Dazai chatting like way longer than uh idk and was ready to bash him anytime for using his card to buy 'free cholesterol and sodium shit and whatnot glutamate' also known as instant noodles.
Dazai hammered a soft knock on the door of house 15.
"CHIBIIII I'M HO-" Dazai entered with a slight jump, his briefcase shaking.
"YOU HOE. WHY DID YOU BUY INSTANT NOODLES AGAIN." Chuuya cried. Well, made Dazai cry.
"HOLY SHIT. HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS INSTANT NOODLES."
"I'M NOT AS DUMB AS YOU, MACKEREL. I'M VIGILANT ENOUGH TO CHECK FOR NOTIFICATIONS OF MY CARD GETTING FUCKING SWIPED AT LAWSON. "
"Well..it's Maggi noodles. They do taste good."
"Have you ate it once in your fucking life?"
"No."
"Then fuck off."
Dazai sarcastically sobbed. Why can't I ever eat free cholesterol and sodium shit and whatnot glutamate' also called instant noodles huh..
And so, Dazai walked to the sorry excuse of a kitchen, and made Maggi noodles for dinner (while simultaneously tried to set the house on fucking fire) which turned more like slop. And Chuuya definitely did not enjoy that.
End, but only for this chapter. More chaos is set to ensue.
Bye, signing off, your lovely narrator.