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Seokjin thinks it is unfair to describe love in just a single way. It is often pictured as something grandiose, euphoric and that love should be flaunted loudly for everyone to see. If your love doesn’t share the similarities, then it is often labeled by people as “that’s not love” or “trust me you will find a better one”. Seokjin hates that and even more so when people have the audacity to question his relationship status with namjoon.
“You two don’t look like dating,” Seokjin did a double take when he heard it and he couldn’t believe it even more that it came from some nosy old lady that he only met then while he attended his cousin’s wedding.
“Have you two broken up? How come I have never seen you two acting like a couple?” he heard that some time later and Seokjin had grown so used to it that he only blatantly rolled his eyes.
“Congratulations! I thought you two wouldn’t make it to marriage,” this sentence alone almost had Seokjin lunged at the person, nearly causing a scene at his own wedding if not for Namjoon gripping the back of his suit. At that moment he regretted the decision of allowing his parents to invite relatives. He should have made it intimate like he first intended to.
It sucks when people don’t see the kind of love they have and it is unfair.
There is a saying that marriage couples begin to look alike over time. Seokjin can’t see that possibly happening or maybe at least not yet, what not with their marriage life has only gone on for a few months, but Seokjin also doubts that he will suddenly grow two deep dimples like Namjoon’s. Maybe not so much about their faces resembling each other but more to Seokjin picking up the length Namjoon takes to love him.
Seokjin realizes that in the littlest thing. Namjoon has always been impatient, eager and that includes his walking pace. When they first began to know each other, Seokjin lost count how many times he had witnessed namjoon nearly tripping himself from walking too fast but now, namjoon takes his time to walk alongside seokjin. He matches their pace together, synchronizing their steps and making sure that Seokjin is never left behind.
Namjoon shows his love in many ways. Like so.
He shows it in the way he includes Seokjin in his every plan.
Jimin jumps over the couch, carrying a packet of chips on one hand and his phone on the other, looking intensely at the screen. The boys finally found overlapped free time to visit their place for a dinner and game night that has been long overdue. Namjoon plopped down beside him, front of his shirt a little bit damp from wiping his wet hands on it after washing the dishes. Seokjin can only shake his head fondly.
“Hyung, shall we go on a trip next weekend?”
Taehyung abruptly sits up, looking like an overexcited puppy at the thought of leaving the packed city for a moment of fresh air. “Let’s go. Where are we going this time?”
“Can the rest make it next week?”
The living room instantly turns rowdy with few of them speaking over each other that Seokjin can hardly make out what they are trying to say and where they are going but he nods along because anywhere and whatever is totally fine for him.
“Oh no,” Namjoon suddenly exclaims beside him. “We can’t make it. Seokjin hyung happened to have a company gathering that night. We can do it next weekend though.”
Seokjin stares at Namjoon because in all honesty, Seokjin has momentarily forgotten that important event and mindlessly nodded a yes to the boys.
“You can still go with them though. I will be staying out late and leaving you alone here at home anyway," Seokjin whispers.
Namjoon throws him a funny look, like the thought of going on a trip without Seokjin is bizarre, then softly whispers back, “it is okay. We can go together next weekend anyway.”
And then Seokjin realizes– Namjoon never really addressed them as a separate me and him anymore but rather as we. Everything they do now comes in a package deal and Seokjin loves that so much.
Seokjin knows namjoon has always been the type of guy that is attentive and easily picks up any changes but there are times, seokjin is still surprised by him.
Seokjin walks into the kitchen, welcomed by the buttery smell in the air. Not long after seokjin sits down on the stool, namjoon places a cup of black coffee– a contrast to the tall glass filled with iced coffee beside it that obviously belongs to namjoon because no matter the hours and freezing to death weather, namjoon can never give up on iced coffee.
He looks busy with something in the pan, lifting it off the stove and slides a few pieces of nicely browned toasts to the cutting board. Seokjin frowns deeply as he watches Namjoon cut away the crust of the toast before placing it onto Seokjin’s empty plate. Namjoon also transfers the cut crusts onto his plate like a second nature.
“We should do groceries in the afternoon. The fridge barely has anything left except eggs, milk and just a few cans of beer.”
“What are you doing?” Seokjin can’t help but ask when namjoon finally takes a seat.
Poor guy looks a bit thrown by the question and asks back, “trying to have breakfast. Am I not allowed to be here?”
“What? No. I mean what were you doing? Why did you remove the crusts from my toasts?”
“Because you don’t like it,” Namjoon answers like it is the most obvious thing in the world.
Seokjin can be quite forgetful but he vividly remembers that he has never once told Namjoon that he hates eating bread crusts. Most of the time Seokjin is the one preparing the breakfast in the morning with rice for breakfast and a few simple side dishes because he knows they both enjoy that type of traditional heavy breakfast and there have only been a few mornings where they eat toast for breakfast and he has never once thrown the crusts away. So how in the world Namjoon could figure this out?
“How do you know I don’t like crusts on my toasts? I have always eaten it,” Seokjin remains stunned, too perplexed by this happening in the morning especially since his brain is still quite foggy. Meanwhile Namjoon is already taking a big bite of his breakfast.
“Through your eating habits. Every time we have toasts for breakfast, you always tear it apart and pick the inner white bread. You leave the crusts behind," Namjoon nonchalantly says.
Seokjin tries to reason, “That could be because I love it so much and leaving it behind to enjoy it at last.”
“Understandable,” Namjoon nods through his munch, “but you are the exact reverse of that. You always pick your most favorite out of the plate first and you eat in the order of what you enjoy most to the least. Also, you scrunch your nose when you eat something you dislike. You always do that, sweetheart.”
Seokjin feels his face getting warmer and if he looks at himself in the mirror, he bets he can find the tip of his ears red. He didn’t realize Namjoon has always been this observant towards him. He nearly scalded his tongue from drinking his coffee absentmindedly and on a second thought, Seokjin chuckles at himself for doubting the level of care Namjoon has willingly gone for him.
After all this is the same man who applied for cooking class to learn easy cooking and share the household kitchen burden with him. The same man who instantly knows his coffee preference and always prepares a cup of black coffee with a few drops of stevia to thin out the taste of bitterness.
He is also the same man who knows his order like the back of his hand. Whenever they dine out, Namjoon instantly knows his favorite menu and he is always the one who leaves a specific message to the waitress that takes their order, “please ensure one plate of the steaks is cooked medium rare and left uncut, swap the mashed potato with some grilled mushrooms or vegetables. My husband is allergic to potatoes.”
Oh. Seokjin realizes he is so loved. He leans forward to press a kiss on Namjoon's puffy cheek full of food. From that morning onward, whenever they eat toast, Seokjin cuts his crusts and puts them aside for Namjoon to eat happily.
Their friends who have watched their relationship grow from friendship to lovers have known their dynamic and that both Seokjin and Namjoon are never big fans of public display of affection. They are quite content with sitting next to each other while they are hanging out with their friends. They can leave the more intimate and touchy moments for themselves behind their closed door.
But still when they first started dating and became the instant center of attention, the boys were persistent and asking lots of questions because from the surface, nothing much really changed between them.
Seokjin remembers one particular question from Jeongguk, “You two weren’t pranking us with all this dating thing right? Well aside from the disgusting lovey dovey gaze you two have been throwing at each other since months ago.”
“Will it take us putting tongue in each other for you to believe us, Jeongguk-ah?” Seokjin asked with teasing risen brows.
Jeongguk immediately gags, “ew. gross. Keep that to yourself,” and his response belted out a big laugh from Seokjin.
Even so, Namjoon still finds his way to show his love for Seokjin. Hoseok calls them to hang out at the bar just around their residence and since the night is young, Seokjin and Namjoon venture out to enjoy some light drinking.
Seokjin slides into the booth, greeted happily by the others that have settled themselves and ordered a couple drinks. Whenever they hang out with the boys, Seokjin tries to direct his attention fully to his friends, engaging in the conversation and catching up on some life updates. Yet, with the growing hours Seokjin finds himself restless after being constantly surrounded by people and out in the crowd.
He starts to shift in his seat and then he feels Namjoon’s warm hand resting on his thigh, squeezing lightly as a silent gesture to ask if he is okay and Seokjin’s return the thoughtful action by placing his hand over to signal that he is doing fine.
The hand never leaves and it is one of Namjoon's love languages that Seokjin finds absolutely endearing. Namjoon may seem so engaged talking with Yoongi about the recent basketball match yet he still knows how to take care of Seokjin and making his presence known.
Seokjin shudders in the cold room and pulls his sleeves down to cover his hands. Beside him, Namjoon already makes a move to take off his jacket, wordlessly turn Seokjin’s body to face him and dress Seokjin with his jacket, skillfully inserting Seokjin’s arms into the sleeves and adjusting it so it sits comfortably on Seokjin before pulling the zipper up to create more warmth.
Namjoon does that all and then returns to the conversation like nothing has happened. Seokjin doesn’t have to glance around to know the whole table has grown silent and watches them with a teasing smug smile. This isn’t the first time Namjoon has done this but it is safe to say this is the first time he has ever done it in front of their friends.
The reassuring hand never left either, instead it grabs Seokjin’s hand and rubs it together to keep it warm. When the night sinks deeper and the boys offer for a round of karaoke nearby, Namjoon excused themselves with a good valid reason but Seokjin also instantly knows Namjoon is taking care of him because no one knows him like his husband. Seokjin doesn’t do well with hanging out in public, he gets worn out easily and saying it out loud kind of ruins people’s mood.
Yet, Namjoon understands.
It doesn’t happen often but it does happen from time to time. Seokjin is trying to live out that work-life-balanced lifestyle but with the high position he sits in the company, it also comes with a great responsibility. Today is one of those days where he is still stuck in his office, going through different documents on his screen and flipping pages of paper that he has grown to hate from staring all day.
He should have been heading home a little over an hour ago, taken a warm bath and ordered take out for a cozy movie night with Namjoon that they promised to do a few days ago. He picks up his phone to send a message for Namjoon not to wait for him for dinner.
Seokjin’s face is painted with a smile when a call comes in from Namjoon.
“Hey, love.”
Seokjin smiles at the greeting. Hearing Namjoon’s soft voice does wash away the fatigue a little bit. Funny that it works wonders.
“Hi to you. I’m sorry but it looks like we have to postpone our movie night. I’m still stuck in the office,” Seokjin says regretfully.
“How about dinner?”
“About that, please don’t wait for me. You can order take out or I remember there are some side dishes sent by mom this morning. I’m sorry I can’t have dinner with you tonight.”
Namjoon chuckles lightly, “No, babe. I was asking about your dinner. Have you eaten?”
“Oh,” Seokjin utters. “My colleague gave me pizza earlier and I have just finished them. I also have stocks of snacks in my drawer. I’m fine here.”
Namjoon sighs, “The weather forecast says it will rain soon. How long again are you gonna be?”
“Really?” Seokjin looks at the window of his office and hardly can notice anything with the darkness. “Probably it will be another or so before I can head home. Don’t wait for me if you feel tired, okay?”
“Okay. Please be careful when you head home.”
Seokjin smiles, “I know. Love you.”
“I love you too”
It does indeed take Seokjin another hour before he can wrap things up in the office. By then the office window is already adorned by droplets of rain water. The rain doesn’t look heavy and maybe he can make a run to the bus station or worst case, he can borrow an umbrella from the lobby reception table.
Except for a few staff that are walking around, the building has gone almost empty. The security guy he has befriended greets him with a warm smile. Seokjin is just about to ask for an umbrella when the old guy points to a direction and says, “look who came to pick you up, Seokjin-ssi.”
Seokjin turns around and finds his husband in the lobby, wiggling around and occasionally glancing at his shoes. Seokjin stares in disbelief, he remembers telling Namjoon to eat and rest early but here he is now.
He quickly jogs over, a little breathless from the amount of love and fondness he is feeling right now. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Namjoon jumps a little but his face is lit up with a wide smile the moment he sees Seokjin. “Of course I’m here to pick you up, babe.”
Seokjin goes in for a hug right at the lobby, undeniably so happy to see Namjoon picking him up after a long day. “I thought you were resting at home.”
Namjoon smiles a little, “How could I rest when you’re still out working? Not to mention the sky was getting darker and it was going to rain. You didn’t bring any umbrella today.”
By then Seokjin realizes Namjoon’s hands are full with a warm jacket and big umbrella. Namjoon puts it on for him and even pulls up the hood so Seokjin gets covered better, Namjoon pressed a soft kiss on the forehead while he is at it. Seokjin can’t help but ask, “how long have you been waiting for me?”
Namjoon gets a little shy and admits, “I went out as soon as our phone call ended.”
“Gosh, kim namjoon. That was an hour ago. You have been standing here the whole time? You could have called.”
“Calling you will only distract you and make your work delay longer. Let’s go.”
Seokjin let himself pull into Namjoon’s side, protected by a strong arm that wrapped around him. Namjoon opens the umbrella, huddling under it together and they slowly step into the rain as they share the intimacy.
“Should we stop by our favorite noodle shop before we go home? a warm soup sounds perfect,” Namjoon suggested.
“Seriously, Kim Namjoon. Don’t tell me you haven’t had your dinner yet either,” Seokjin scolds.
Namjoon places a firm kiss on Seokjin’s lips to shut him up, “Shhh! I know I know. Let’s go eat. I’m already hungry.”
Seokjin scowls at him, upset at the fact Namjoon is neglecting himself while taking care of Seokjin. Seokjin circles his arm around Namjoon’s waist, snuggling closer in the chilly night and gently utters, “Thank you for loving me so much, Namjoon-ah.”
Namjoon says nothing but rub Seokjin’s arm warmly and Seokjin knows that is his way of reciprocating it.
Over and over again, Namjoon keeps surprising Seokjin with all the love. Who needs a thousand roses when he is sharing this type of intimacy with Namjoon?
The intimacy of knowing he is loved so thoroughly and madly by Namjoon.
Seokjin loves his version of love so much more.