Chapter Text
Ursula rolled her shoulders from side to side as she tried to shake off the stress of the day. She unlocked her front door and stepped inside her apartment, where she was greeted by a sight she had grown far too used to—Missy lounging nonchalantly in the kitchen, spinning around with a pot of noodles in her hand as if it were the most entertaining thing in the world.
“Oh good, you’re back,” Missy chimed, glancing at Ursula with a wide grin as the microwave beeped. “I was beginning to think you’d abandoned me here with only your lovely little fishies for company.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Ursula muttered, rolling her eyes as she kicked off her shoes. “And by the way, that beeping means the microwave’s done.”
“Yes, I’m familiar with the beeping,” Missy replied, waving her hand dismissively. “But microwaves are so … uninspired, don’t you think? I prefer things a little more explosive. Like,” she paused, “the dramatic kind of chaos that turns worlds upside down.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not going to find any of that here,” Ursula said, as she made her way to the cupboards. “All you’ve done is eat my food and sleep on my couch since you got here. Do you even have a plan? Or are you just freeloading and waiting for a miracle?”
Missy let out a sigh and placed the noodle pot down as if it suddenly bored her. “Oh, Ursula, darling,” she said and leaned forward, “miracles are for amateurs. Me? I’m about results.”
“Funny,” Ursula retorted, yanking open a cupboard only to find it as empty as her patience. “Because I’ve yet to see any. And don’t tell me you’ve eaten the last of the ramen!”
Missy raised a brow. “I was hungry! And besides, it’s not like you’re living the high life here, my dear. Aquarium work doesn’t exactly scream ‘luxury,’ does it?”
Ursula groaned, and grabbed a bag of fish food and walking over to her tanks. “At least the fish don’t talk back. You could learn a thing or two from them.”
“Oh, yes, very charming,” Missy remarked, as she propped herself against the kitchen counter and watched Ursula with a bemused smile. “But you know why your life feels so dreary, don’t you?”
“Let me guess,” Ursula said, barely glancing up as she fed her fish. “You’re about to tell me how much better things would be if I just followed your grand plan?”
“Ah, she gets it!” Missy grinned, and clapped her hands. “See, this is why I like you, Ursula. You’ve got a sharp tongue on you. It’s just a shame you’ve been stuck here, wasting away with nothing to show for it.”
“And you’re going to change that?” Ursula snorted. “Because so far, all I’ve seen is a lot of talk.”
“Oh, you wound me,” she said. “I’m not just talk, my dear. I’ve got plans—plans that involve a certain Author, and once I get what I want, you’ll get everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
Ursula hesitated. “The Author?” she asked and glanced at Missy. “What does this Author have to do with me?”
Missy’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Everything. The Author controls the stories, remember? And you, Ursula, you’re part of a story that’s begging for a rewrite.” She leaned in closer. “Together, we’ll make sure you get your happy ending. And trust me, I never fail when it comes to causing a little mayhem.”
Ursula crossed her arms. “And what do you want out of this?”
Missy’s smile turned wicked. “Oh, darling, I always get what I want. And what I want is the Author’s power. He’s going to help me rewrite the rules of this little game we’re all stuck in. And you? Well, you’ll get your happy ending in the process.”
Ursula’s gaze narrowed. “And how exactly do you plan on finding this Author?”
Missy waved her hand dismissively. “I’ve already got it all figured out,” she said and she twirled around in a gleeful spin. “We’re going to pay an old friend a visit. Well, your old friend.”
Ursula raised an eyebrow, not quite sure if she wanted to go along with whatever plan Missy had in store, but she knew one thing—sitting around waiting wasn’t going to solve any of her problems.
“Fine,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I’ll bite. But if this is another one of your games, I’m out.”
Missy’s grin widened. “Oh, I do love a good game,” she purred. “But this? This is going to be much more fun than that.”
Ursula wasn’t sure what to expect when Missy mentioned they’d be traveling "in style," but standing before what appeared to be an old garage at the end of a dark alleyway, she blinked in surprise. “This is your idea of transportation?”
Missy grinned. “What can I say? My TARDIS has exquisite taste. Why settle for a blue box when you can blend in with the best of them, hmm?”
Ursula’s brows furrowed as she stepped closer to the garage and she ran a hand along its surface. “This is ... your ship?”
Missy beamed proudly. “Oh, absolutely! Chameleon circuit works like a charm, darling. One moment it’s a garage, the next … well, whatever strikes my fancy. Come along, inside we go!”
Hesitant but intrigued, Ursula followed Missy as she pushed open the doors. Stepping through, her jaw dropped as the interior revealed itself as a large space. “How … how is this possible?”
“Bigger on the inside, love,” Missy said cheerfully, strolling ahead as if she hadn't just shattered Ursula’s sense of reality. “Marvellous, isn’t it?”
Ursula blinked, taking in the sleek, futuristic interior, lit up by purple lighting. “This… thing looks like a mansion from the outside.”
Missy shrugged. “Well, I do appreciate a bit of style. But no time to dawdle! We’ve got someone to pick up.”
Moments later, the TARDIS materialised outside Cruella’s sprawling mansion. Ursula barely had time to gather herself before Missy gleefully bounded out.
“So this is where she lives?” Ursula muttered as they walked toward the driveway. “Guess some of us are doing better than others.”
As they neared the house, they noticed several FBI agents leading a man in handcuffs out the front door, with Cruella trailing behind, her fury barely contained.
“This is utterly preposterous!” Cruella snapped, glaring at the agents as they hauled her husband away. Her attention wavered as she spotted a rack of her fur coats being wheeled out. “Darling, do we really need all these theatrics?”
“Oh, the drama of it all,” Missy whispered to Ursula.
Cruella darted forward, yanking one of her fur coats off the rack and wrapped it around herself with a flourish. She stalked toward her garage, but halted as a voice called her old name.
“Cruella De Vil.”
Cruella froze and slowly turned around, where she saw Missy and Ursula approaching. “No one calls me that here,” she said, her eyes flickering with recognition as she took in Ursula, but lingering on the unfamiliar figure of Missy. “And who the hell are you?”
Missy gave a mock bow. “Missy, darling. But you can call me Mistress, if you’d like.” She winked playfully. “I’ve heard so much about you. Quite the reputation.”
Cruella’s eyes narrowed. “Ursula, what is this? Why are you with her?”
“Long story,” Ursula muttered and she crossed her arms. “But she’s got a proposition you’ll want to hear.”
Cruella arched a perfectly sculpted brow. “I doubt that.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so quick to judge,” Missy purred as she stepped forward. “I’ve come to offer you a chance to get back everything you’ve lost. And more. Magic, darling. It’s out there—just waiting to be taken.”
Cruella scoffed. “Magic? There’s no magic left in this world.”
Missy tsked and shook her head. “That’s what they want you to think. But trust me, dear, there’s magic—if you know where to look. And lucky for you, I’m quite the expert at finding it.”
Ursula shot Cruella a look. “She’s serious. She’s got a plan.”
“And what’s in it for you?” Cruella asked.
Missy’s grin widened. “Oh, everything. I’m after the Author. Someone with the power to rewrite reality itself. And once I find him … well, let’s just say the rules of the game are about to change. For everyone.”
“The Author?” Cruella raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like a fairy-tale.”
“Oh, it’s real, darling. And with my help, you’ll get your happy ending—one where you’re on top. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to remain ordinary.”
Cruella stiffened at the word. “Ordinary?” she sneered. “Hardly.”
“Then let’s make sure it stays that way,” Missy replied. “So, what do you say? Join me, and I’ll take you where the magic really happens.”
“Fine. But I’m driving,” Cruella said, as she headed for her garage, where her black and white vintage car sat.
“Oh, I insist,” Missy said, and moved toward her TARDIS. “Just follow me.”
Cruella raised an eyebrow, watching as Missy stepped toward a garage. But as Missy waved her hand, the doors opened, revealing her TARDIS inside.
“What is that?” Cruella asked.
Missy beamed. “Welcome to my TARDIS, darling! Now, drive right in.”
With a shrug, Cruella slid into the driver’s seat of her vintage car, started the engine, and drove forward. As the car passed through the entrance, the inside of the TARDIS opened up, far larger and more extravagant than anything Cruella could have imagined.
As the car settled in the vast interior, Missy grinned from ear to ear. “Next stop, Storybrooke,” she said, following as she entered her TARDIS.
Cruella glanced around. “Well,” she said, settling back into her seat, “this should be interesting.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Missy replied, her voice gleeful as she spun around to take her place at the console. “Hold on tight, darlings. Things are about to get delightfully chaotic.”