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A late but satisfying evening tonight, paid off with a soldier now recovering after such suffering. Another patient, some poor conscripted weasel no doubt, now taken care of. Despite the rough procedure, at least he has a better chance his family will actually see him again. IVs, heart monitor, and ventilator now all in place, properly operating. I ignore the brief flicker of lighting going in and out. A more frequent occurrence I’ve noticed. Subconsciously stopping, I bite my lower lip pausing until the flickering stops like clockwork. It’s time to leave the patient’s room to clean up and let the other weasel properly rest.
I have no such luxury. As usual, the mindless wiping of bloodied surgical instruments greets me. It’s like second nature now. A process really. Wipe up the blood, sterilize each tool properly, double check the body before cleaning it, then clean the room. Actions done so many times it's impossible for me to count.
Stepping to peer over the corpse, I overlook the body. Another soldier, a crow this time. The unfortunate fellow had been blasted by multiple bullets, multiple areas. Most of his insides were simply unsalvageable, the bullets exited wider than they entered. Yet…
Stepping closer, I smooth out the fake, replacement feathers on the body of the crow. The body has to be presentable. Meticulously placed, regardless if he’s to be cremated or sent home, they’d never notice what is missing. Because of this crow, someone else could live to see another day. A noble, twisted sacrifice they’ll never know has happened. What I have taken from this body.
Stepping back, I rub my aching head as an abrupt spike of that all too strange feeling seeps in. A feeling I cannot quite place, yet is all too familiar whenever I’m obligated to handle the dead. Uncomfortably, I find this feeling gracing me more and more as time continues. The whittling away of my sanity sliding uncomfortably further. I can’t tell how far gone I am. I can’t—
Shift’s over. I step out into the cool, evening air, stopping to admire the low hanging, night time clouds. The base is quiet, strangely so. Even when this place was operated by Mt. Rock, it was busy throughout the night. So many long evenings that blended to mornings. Injuries, surgeries, successes…failures. Back to my room once more. I’m grateful for the rather simplistic setup and compactness of it. The privilege of having a private room in the first place. The barracks would drive me further off the edge. Even more than I already am.
Push those thoughts away. Laying haphazard on the firm mattress, I shift. The thud of pushed off boots hitting tile flooring. It’s been a long day. My eyes droop, shifting so the ends of my tail are just barely within sight. A trick I learned, when I had bad bouts of insomnia. Count each grey hair that shifts to white. The very tip of the tail…deep, methodical breaths…eyes closing like curtains.
Curtains ?! Shooting up, my heart nearly jumps out of my body, my fur standing up at the sight of Jajeongjogjebi staring intensely out of my window, through closed blinds. An unnerving chill settles into the small room. “Jajeong…?”
“Quiet.” A brief command that means business. What on earth is happening ..? To add on, the jet black weasel raises his hand; the signal to stop. When did he arrive? What’s got him like this? Are we in danger? My mind runs through multiple thoughts and scenarios a second.
Clearly, this is not normal. Jajeong being here is, sure. We secretly share this room, and the times the frontline weasel was absent are more impactful than the former. But not like this. His usual boisterous but soothing voice is utterly absent. His prior commands highlight the simple fact that his brain is clearly in army mode. Still as a statue, shallow breathing is all that escapes from the me. I anxiously watch with bated anticipation until Jajeong lowers his fist, to which the weasel speaks lowly.
“Something’s going on. Tonight’s the night they’re wiping out Flower Hill, but there’s some sort of delay. We should have gotten confirmation by now.” Turning around, I stare Jajeong in the eyes, holding my breath subconsiously as he gently nudges me to sit up. “I don’t like this one bit. I haven’t heard any orders from Geomeunjogjebi, either.”
“Nothing?” I repeat back breathlessly. A sense of unease overtakes me as the jet black weasel shakes his head. I attempt to wake myself up faster, putting my boots back on. “What are we doing then? Is there anything we can do?”
“We have to get out of here. Something isn’t right at all. Just… trust me, please. I…I’m planning on heading to the launch sight. Scoping out the general area at least.” Jajeongjogjebi begins to dig around the room, pulling out smaller first aid kits and the like. My heart thumps as his clawed hand slips under the dresser, sliding out the small, hefty pistol for emergencies. My brain catches up to my lips.
“Fine fine, I trust you. However, if something is happening, why head that way?” I unintentionally grumble lightly, digging around beneath the bed for my emergency bag. “I understand you're worried, but we need to have a plan going forward. I don’t want you rushing in there only to—“
“Oegwa stop! Do not backtalk me right now. Just…please. Come on. You have everything?” Jajeongjogjebi snatches another bag near me, hoisting it over his shoulder. A near uncharacteristic snap. Something really must be going on.
Typical soldier behavior. If he weren’t cute, and if I weren’t me, I’d kick him right about now. I can’t stand it when he gets stubborn like this, reasoning going out of the window in order to obey given commands, or to see them to completion. Rolling my eyes, I awkwardly trudge along with the other weasel, Listening to crickets chirp into the night as we step outside.
“Wait here. I’ll grab a van.” Watching Jajeong jog deeper into the base, I stay behind, idly drawing out shapes in the compact soil below. It proves partially stimulating, and it’s not long until I hear the veer of a vehicle pulling up.
“Hop in.” A simple command, to which I place my bags inside, stepping up to the passenger seat.
A quick glance at my wrist, then back towards Jajeong. I can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the jet black weasel, who immediately drives up to the front gate of the base, gruffly speaks to the person guarding tonight. A mouse soldier? Does it matter? I sit back, my eyes drooping, as I clear my head. Beside me, Jajeong raises his voice, snapping about…something, followed by a terrified, high pitched voice. Of course it’s not long after that the purr of the engine picks up. Mushed gravel and dirt under tires greets us outside the gate of the base behind us, the rocking of the car on uneven dirt road.
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“Are you awake?”
“Hm? What? D-Did I fall asleep?” I internally wince at my own stuttering, rubbing my eyes to spot Jajeong’s eyes gaze over to my direction briefly, then back to the road. We’re in a tunnel. Passing lights occasionally flicker around the sides of my vision. The occasional bump of the dusty road below as the car speeds through a mountain. Another glance. It’s only been twenty or so minutes.
“Mhn. Pretty quickly too. Aren’t you a night person? Could have fooled me.” Slyly grinning, Jajeongjogjebi adjusts his camouflage hat, keeping a hand on the steering wheel of the car.
“It’s been a long day working and all.”
“It has, hasn’t it? It doesn’t feel like 9:50 something.”
“I finally get to properly rest after another long day and well, you scared me.” Long unnerving silence. Not even the barely audible chatter from the car radio can salvage the clearly strange feeling overtaking us. Am I being hostile?
Slowly shifting, I watch as the other weasel carefully thinks what he wants to say next, before speaking lowly. Wavering, even. “You think I’m crazy.”
This is concerning. My attention is solely on Jajeong now. Hesitant, I hold my arm out, before slipping it around his in comfort. “No? Maybe. Aren’t we all?” Unable to find further words, my head rests on his shoulder. “I’m…sorry.”
“Is it bad I can’t fight off this… anxiety ? Mt. Rock disbanding, then its back to being led by that incompetent, so-called ‘Head Commander Jogjebi’…”
Jajeong lets out an absurd laugh, making the atmosphere only feel stranger. “I mean, he finally makes a sound plan, only for tonight. Only then, for there to be a strange delay tonight. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t trust it. Could this be some sort of trap like when he faked his suicide?”
Burying my face further into his shoulder, I make out the light scent of pine and earth from his camo uniform. “I’m not sure. He’s got his full amount of resources, bases, and manpower at his hands. It wouldn’t make sense for him to act so paranoid.”
“That’s all he is though…” A slightly peeved ‘tsk’ escapes Jajong’s otherwise pretty lips. “An old bag of nerves. It's such a shame he was injured. He could have been a competent leader. Perhaps…he’s finally lost it because of how Flower Hill always seems to find out about our plans.”
A quick glance up, my eyes open to stare at Jajeong’s profile. “That…that makes more sense. But what do you call this? Abruptly leaving base in the middle of night? We’ll be punished for sure.”
“No. At least, not as badly as you suggest. I told that guard we’re out searching for a distress signal. Injured soldiers.”
“Using my surgeon status to be bad…?” Teasingly, I find myself chuckling, smacking Jajeong’s arm a few times. “Naughty naughty…”
“That mouse was smarter than you’d think. Had to try and pull rank, then when that failed, persuade the little bastard with a can of fish rations.”
Feeling lighter, past the strangeness, I wipe my eyes, fully sitting up now. “Heehee…well at least—“
Interrupted, Jajong and I yelp. The car unexpectedly lurches forward, and I nearly hit my head against the upper dashboard. “What was that?!”
“I don’t know…!” Jajeong nearly swerves, tires screech as a sudden gust of wind pushes us forward, no, pushes the car forward..!
A sudden, blinding flash.
Swaths of light, overwhelming and nauseating to the senses. The sudden veering of the car. A brief yell, his yell…
Then, the blast.
Weightlessness overtakes my entire form, and dust overtakes my senses. Multiple, Sharp jolts of pain hit my body in clusters. Rocks perhaps? Whatever they are, they pelt and cut his body through my labcoat, in a fraction of a second. What’s happening? This can’t be happening? Jajeo—
A snap. Sharp, unbearable pain. I hit something hard and fast. A tree? That’s my voice . The kind of voice that forces a gasp out of a person from pure shock. Followed by screaming. Agony? That’s my screaming, my agony. It all clicks in a moment as I come to a realization.
Darkness falls.
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My imagination fails to picture the scene around myself. Head spinning furiously, I release an agonized cry, the pain of all his injuries clawing at my body like large, fiery ants attacking viciously mentally and physically. The ringing assaulting my ears that no matter how much I try to ignore Just. Won't. Stop. It's all disgustingly overwhelming…
Senses in overtime, I pats around in desperation, ignoring all the sharp prickles of pain that spike through my entire body. Where am I?! I need safety! NOW! Solid, crumbly. Dirt. My sore arm uncomfortably jerks, moving around more to map out the surroundings I barely feel. Rough. Solid. Bumpy. A tree most likely. In a foolish action, I open my eyes, only to meet the horrid afterimage of pure white stuck in my eyes. Blinded. I quickly close them.
Uncomfortable coughing. I try to speak up, but my voice is utterly pathetic, coming out as hoarse whispers. “Hahn…J-Jajong…” Despite the pain, I feel myself around. It’s a challenge, arduously crawling and scraping, unsure of my orientation. My heart nearly stops hearing the sound of shifting to my left. It’s low, and muffled by ringing, but I recognize it anywhere.
“Oegwa…”
Snapping directions, I quickly crawl left, sliding and tumbling myself down what feels like an incline. A scream escapes my mouth when something hits my injured leg the way down, but I mentally thank whatever gods might be out there when I land on sticky ground, the sounds of trickling water nearby. I’m so thirsty…but I need to focus on where Jajeong is. Next to me, there’s something, no. someone squishy.
“I’m here now.” Forcing myself to speak up, I’m light as a bird, heart fluttering to the point of feeling sick. He’s alive. Most likely disfigured and disoriented, but alive. I can’t help but run my hand through his fur. My imagination is back, mentally piecing together the patches of missing fur and burns I feel along him.
“Jajong? Please say something.”
“…”
My heart pauses for a moment. “Jajongjogjebi, please say…s-something. Anything.”
“Sorry…everything hurts.”
My body can’t help but subconsciously flinch, feeling a clawed hand slide down my arm, before meeting my hand. My heart feels at peace, morbidly so.
I could die here next to Jajeong, and it wouldn’t be so bad. No more pain, no more thinking. No, What am I thinking? Snap out of it. My fingers wrap around my lover’s hand tighter. No matter what happens, I will be there to put you back together again.
“Please…stay with me.” I’m in no position to demand. I do so anyway, with the resolve of wet paper. “Stay with me. I…I will stay with you.”
“Afraid I’ll go to sleep and die?”
“Maybe. I don’t know how long this will last. I can barely hear you. I can’t see you.”
“Yeah. Me either. I think…I have a gash? Im not sure. I can’t feel my side.”
Amxiety swarms me. My body, swamped with pain fueld adrenaline begins to feel tingly. Moreso than it already was. “I-I have to fix this. I can’t just lay here and let you die…! I may be blind but,
wel, Perhaps I can—“
“ No , Oegwa.” Shut down. Jajeong gives me no chance to retort. I pause, hesitating. Opening my mouth, I’m interrupted yet again. “Will…you listen to the water with me?”
“What?”
“Listen to the water with me. It’s…gonna be okay.”
Mental flips happen to me. What do I even say? I hear the hesitation, the fear masked under all that nauseatingly fake calmness the frontline soldier does. His true message is clear. This is out of our control. If only I could change that. I cannot. “Yes. Okay. I’ll be here no matter what.”
I will stay. I feel utterly insane, but I won’t fail. I won’t die and leave Jajeongjogjebi to suffer. I can’t. I won’t.
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The weasel army’s in shambles.
It’s been like this ever since I woke up. Days, nearly a week ago, apparently? The dulled edge of scissor blades meeting the side of my face causes me to subconsciously flinch. It feels strange to be the one treated, rather than treating others. A single snip. Cloth falls into my lap as fellow doctors slowly unravel the bandages protecting my eyes. Carefully…I open one at a time. A hazy view of grey, rocky walls greets me, followed by a doctor and his mouse assistant.
We’ve been taken to Toggaebi Island. Apparently, Dr. Huinjogjebi has been here for who knows how long, just now gathering enough men under his command to secretly comb over areas where prior weasel army bases are stationed, to find supplies and would be survivors.
“Oegwajogjebi…there we are. How is your vision?” The doctor’s oddly cheerful voice speaks up, coming from beside me. I can vaguely make out the brown fur of the field mouse assistant, who nods quietly along. “Your skills will be quite valuable to us once you’re fully healed.”
“How’s Jajeongjogjebi?”
“The weasel that was with you? Well…” More trailing off. These fellows can’t be serious.
Impatient, I sit up too quickly, ignoring the spike of pain that shoots through my bandaged body. “Spit it out!”
“Your back! Lay back down! He’s still sleeping. It’s been days, but rest assured, he’s alive! He has more infections that need to be treated. You know the drill, some patients are longer to recover…! With all of the radiation burns you both have, it's really a miracle you both survived the way we found you.”
That story and my sentiments about it echo in my head again. Jajong was crazy, but he was right. That night, Flower Hill hijacked the final attack. Apparently, they’d sent toadstool bombs to all prolific bases of the weasel army, leaving only secret bunkers, few island outposts and the like. Had the both of us not left when we did, we’d have been utterly vaporized. Great timing to get cancer. Ugh. No time to spiral. “Yes…of course, doctor.”
“We’re doing everything we can. If its any consolation, you woke up strangely earlier than we predicted. Perhaps that’s why it seems like it’s taking so long.” The doctor steps back, overlooking my vitals as his assistant steps over, pulling back the curtains to my left to reveal Jajeong…
I’n finally able to see him, the curse of being temporarily blinded finally gone. It's unsettling to see him still in a hospital bed, the numerous bandages on him, mirroring many covering my own form. Spots where his fur is clearly thinner than before. My heart begins to ache and pound, and in turn, I ignore the increased beeping from the HRM beside me.
The curtain is pulled back. From the corner of my eye, the doctor silently shakes his head in disapproval of his assistant’s actions. They don’t want me getting riled. I let out a deep sigh.
“ Ahem . Oegwa. You should get some rest. Now that your eyesight is back, no doubt Dr. Huinjogjebi would like to speak with you. How lucky… ” a light bow from the doctor. I ignore his signs of jealous as he saunters off. His assistant follows, and the pair rush off to the next patient no doubt.
Alone once more. Sitting back, I stare up. The rocky surface of the ceiling appears more defined than it was minutes ago.
I close my eyes. My sight may be that way, but nothing else certainly is.