Work Text:
October 11, 2027
BREAKING NEWS:
The visual couple of Thailand, LingOrm has announced their separation after 3 years of dating. The famous couple well known from their first series The Secret of Us has broken up. The couple clarified that the separation was not due to any scandal or issue involving another individual. They stated that the separation was a mutual decision based on the fact that their schedules are packed causing the stars to constantly lose time for each other. It was further stated that the decision was mutual and they separated in good terms. They are asking their fans to continue supporting them individually from this point forward.
October 11, 2030
It's another normal night for Orm, all alone in her apartment. She used to live with her parents but ever since she turned 24 she wanted to try living on her own.
She's currently scrolling through X as she always does when she has free time. She was reading tweets after tweets. Giggling along with the memes and retweeting some of them. Until, one tweet caught her attention. A fan retweeted the announcement Ling and her made when they broke up, it's quoted with a bunch of crying emojis and the quote, "LingOrm come back home the kids miss you."
The fact she's separated from Lingling shot a pain through her heart like it always does. The grief of losing her love lingers on everything, in everyday. It always catches up to her unexpectedly, like now. She's sat down on her sofa. Feeling the heavy weight of pain throbbing on her chest. The same heart that was once full of love now replaced with a longing, a deep grief, 'cause what is grief if not love without a home?
ORM
She's known for her bubbly personality, her extroverted self, her giggly and clingy nature to everyone around her. Her Mae raised her to be welcoming and polite to everyone she encounters. The industry she's in requires a lot of love to give, a lot of energy to push positivity into the world. She's been taking jobs after jobs when she and Ling broke up, almost drowning herself with schedule after schedule.
When she finished university, she even took a place at their company starting small from a district manager to relearn the family business from the ground going up. She's never one to use her family name to climb up the corporate ladder. Everyone knows she's the 3rd generation heir to the Sethachon Co. but her humble nature didn't want to jump up the corporate ladder using only her name.
She worked hard for years juggling work between being an actress, model, and now an executive at their company.
This night was one of those nights where she can rest, where she can just stay at home and wind down after being strained for too long but she's here now, clutching her chest because the pain never settled. The same pain she felt when she last saw her, Lingling. The woman still haunts her everyday life, everything still reminds her of Ling.
She's still the love of her life.
At this point she doubts that she can find anyone even remotely close to the standard Lingling set for her. She went on a couple dates every now and then, mainly because of the insistence of her friends to go out with someone but after every date, she'll politely say goodbye never to see them again. Her friends have been teasing her relentlessly for still being so hopelessly in love with Lingling but who can blame her?
The woman was perfect. She's everything she'll ever need in life, her safe zone.
She typed up "Lingling Kwong" on her X search bar.
She saw that the woman has just finished taping a new action film. After Only You, she has been taking up more action packed dramas.
One time she saw an update where Ling has an accident on set that almost broke her left arm. That time, it took all her willpower not to run to her. Instead she sent a short message on IG telling her to be careful next time. She never got a reply. She doubts that the woman even read the message. She's never on social media after all. She's looking now at a movie poster of Ling. She's wearing white tank top showcasing her toned arms and lithe figure.
She looks like an actual action star. Her face painted with a mixture of cold demeanor and anger.
The same face she's stared at for too long before they even started dating. Their shared history traces back long before starting a Sapphic drama together, they got accepted at CH3 the same day, joined the same acting workshops, been teammates in a couple of group performances.
She's always been a Ling's nong, a newbie actress just finding her footing in the industry but Ling- Ling had years of experience. She's been in acting for a while. A woman that was paving her way through the industry with intense dedication. Orm has always adored her and find her a cool Phi, she's always been so pretty in Orm's mind.
She used to find herself staring at the older woman, has always observed how she differs from the crowd, just always silently observing and avoiding the bustle of the crowd. She's the polar opposite of Orm. Ling is a quiet woman and always kept to herself while Orm, was just a ball of energy.
Orm always felt drawn to her she just didn't have it in her to befriend her for some reason her heart raced every time she tried to approach the woman. For someone so chaotic you'd think she can just easily be friends with anybody but Lingling?
She's different. She's always been so different.
LINGLING
She's been busy with the cleaning and packing up of her apartment. She finally bought her dream house, the one with the view of the mountain and a huge back porch and a garden, perfect for her dogs to run around on. She's carefully putting everything in boxes, wrapping fragile items with clothes because she didn't want to use plastic packaging as they're bad for the environment.
She picked items after items on her vanity mindlessly until her hand gripped a small velvet box.
Memories flashed before her eyes, the small red box containing the matching rings she had with Orm, the Bangkok fan meet, the kneeling down competition she had with Orm, laughing like children pretending to propose to each other in front of the fans.
She slowly opened it only to find that she has Orm's ring. The ring spelled her initial 'O'. Oh. She accidentally gave Orm the letter 'L'. She remembers now, she was the one that packed all of Orm's things scattered throughout her old apartment when they broke up. Orm couldn't do it so she had to. When she was packing the rings, her vision blurred from all the crying she didn't check what's in it. She didn't check at all. She carefully took the ring out and saw the glimmer of letter O, carefully traced the ring with reverence. She remembered when they used to wear their matching rings all the time. She remembered when they were together all the time. She put the ring back into the box and set it down the vanity. She couldn't breathe. She feels like she's drowning everytime she remembers Orm.
Her favorite person, her love.
Late night drives has been her savior for a couple months now. The hum her car, the constant motion of the tires against the concrete, the quiet night, no one to follow her, no one to see her lose her sense of self. She hurriedly took her favorite hoodie, the one Orm got for her birthday. She used to spray her favorite perfume on it every time she came over always saying things like "so you'll always be comforted by my smell" or "so you'll always feel me hugging you". It's been three years now and she can't smell her perfume now on the hoodie. She can't feel all her hug at all right now.
She carefully checked the condition of the car before she drove off because despite her anxious state she can't bear to be in an accident right now.
In the back of her mind, she still hears Orm's voice telling her to be careful next time.
Like the one time she had an accident on set, almost broke her left arm. She was intensely acting out an action sequence when her footing slipped and she fell from a platform accidentally making her use her left arm to shield her head.
She went to check her phone that night at the hospital.
There was too many notifications and get well messages but only one message caught her attention.
Orm. A direct message on IG saying,
"P'Ling. You probably won't see this but, please be careful next time. I'll cried a lot when I heard the news. If you hurt yourself more I probably won't stop crying forever. Lingling Sirilak Kwong, it took all of me not to run to you."
he couldn't reply. She shouldn't reply. She couldn't put into words how much she wanted Orm to run to her, how much she wanted to rest with Orm's arms around her again.
She set of to drive around, no destination in mind. She just wanted to feel the cold air rushing through her enough to calm her down. She drove with thought of Orm floating in her mind. Who was she kidding? Everything she does still bears the thought of Orm in the back of her mind. The woman has imprinted herself into every single thing she does, into every single thought.
She remembered the first time she met Orm. She saw a young woman with the energy of a thousand stars. Honestly, she was intimidated from the loud kid. She's a quiet woman, always so introverted, always keeping to herself. Ever since she migrated her to Thailand from Hong Kong, not knowing the language, not being able to reach out easily to people she shut herself with a few friends she made along the way. She learned the language with an intense focus going back to the basics just to be able to communicate what she needed. She was content with the little circle of friends she had. She was content with the projects she was handed to. She was making her way albeit slowly through the industry from being formerly known as a pageant queen to an actress.
She's always been fond of Orm, making sure to greet her a happy birthday every year. A form of connection from a co-worker to another. The kid brightens the place with her loud laughter and infectious smile. One time she's observing everyone in the practice room. Orm with a bunch of people around her talking animatedly, she's adorable.
When she looked up and saw me staring she just smiled at me.
A full on gummy smile, eyes crinkled into little cresent moons before turning back to everyone with her story.
She really was something.
When they both starred at the first sapphic drama for CH3 she felt an inexplicable pull towards Orm. The same pull that kicked start their way to stardom. Everyone saw their chemistry on and off screen. The palpable spark that can be felt by everyone around them when they're together. They weren't oblivious of their feelings for each other. Lingling knew that she felt something for the younger woman.
At first she wouldn't name it, would not call it anyway other than she felt safe with Orm, her comfort zone.
It was all too new, too scary. It was the first time she felt that way for a woman.
It was love.
A love so intense, a passion filled yearning. No man has made her crave quite the same as the young woman did. Her walls crumbled with every "I love you, Lingling" she heard from Orm said in such carefree nature, with every hug, with every peck on her cheeks, hair, neck, shoulders and even her mole on the right side of her cheek. She thought the young woman was like that to everybody, she got scared that it was just Orm's nature to express herself with such transparency that it felt a little unsettling at first.
She's a Taurus woman after all, her self expression a little more reserved, more on the remembering every small detail or making sure the other woman is cared for. The gap years between them showing on little moments and it terrified her. Orm being online all the time, knowing every meme and vibing to the latests songs made her see their stark difference.
She was scared that Orm would soon find out how boring her Phi is. but as months wore on, getting to know the woman in ways she didn't think possible. She learned that Orm needed someone to listen to her constantly which she's fully willing to do as she found the younger woman's voice soothing and cute. She learned about the insecurity the woman had with her body that despite her amazing figure she still feels off some days and Ling is there to continuously shower her with reassurance and compliments. She learned that Orm needed to recharge her social batteries much like her; she's learned to lend her shoulders for the woman to cling to until she's up and about again.
It took a little navigating before she fully trusted what they felt for each other, before she started to give and take the affection back, before she let herself fall thoroughly and deeply.
It took a while before they got together, their schedules fully loaded with fan meets, magazine shoots, interviews, shooting a new drama together, Orm going to Uni, Lingling starting her clothing business and juggling another drama on top of all that. It was a crazy time. It took a while before they even got a free time to actually go on a date.
They went hiking and planned to stay there overnight to camp but neither of them knew how to set up a camp so they settled for a small private cabin on top of the mountains, because Orm loved the mountains. Lingling took charge of the booking and planning all because she was too excited to just go on a date with Orm. She remembered the overlooking porch they stayed at. The beautiful scenery they passed along the way. Despite being tired from the long hike they we're finally at peace.
She remembered every detail of Orm's face when she held her hand and confessed her feelings. Her smile spreading across her face, she was radiant. She remembered Orm's voice saying, "I love you too, my Lingling", not behind the a script or fan service. When she felt Orm's lips against hers the taste of her happiness engrained in her smile sent Lingling into the orbit. She didn't think she'll ever feel this kind of happiness. She knew then that she'll love her all her life. She knew then that she's the only one.
She was confused when she looked at the signs on the streets pulling her out of her reverie. The streets felt familiar. She knew then that she's now driving on Orm's neighborhood. Of course, all this thinking about her and Orm would lead her to her doorstep. Everything really leads to her. A quick turn and she's now staring at Orm's door. She doesn't know what she's doing here. She also doesn't know why she turned off the car and got out. She couldn't seem to think why her knuckles are now against Orm's door.
It feels a little like an out of body experience, like she's just from outside looking in.
Orm was startled from her thoughts when she heard a knock. Looking up at the clock it read 11:45 PM.
"Huh, who could it be? It's too late now"
She looked at her phone trying to see if her mom messaged her for any urgent matters to discuss this late at night but no notification popped up.
At first she didn't want to open the door. She never opens the door unless there's a text they'll come over. It could be a stranger for all she knows but then, she heard another set of urgent knocks and she couldn't possibly ignore the urgency she felt from the person outside.
She slowly went to the door and peeked through the peephole.
Her breath was stolen by who she saw, Lingling Kwong.
The same Lingling Kwong she's been thinking about. The woman that's been on her mind for the past 3 years.
The undeniably gorgeous woman is now standing outside her door in her Mardi hoodie the same one she gifted to her a few years back. She can't believe it.
She peeked again and she sees Lingling looking so conflicted. She gauged if the woman was drunk, thinking there could possibly be no way she'll drive here this late at night just to see her but all she saw was what looked like sadness from her eyes.
She raised her hand to the doorknob and slowly opened the door.
This is stupid. I really shouldn't be here. Maybe she's asleep or out of town or filming. I don't know where she could possibly be right now. I didn't even text her I'm coming. I know that she never opens her door unless they texted first though. Should I text her?
What should I say? "Hi Orm, it's me Lingling. I'm outside your door. Can you come open it for me?" God. I'm so stupid. Maybe I should just go.
Right before I turned around I heard the door click open.
Then I saw her. Orm. My N'Orm. The same woman driving me insane; quite possibly the first and only woman I'll ever love. My Orm. Well, WAS my Orm but whatever.
"Hi P'Lingling, what brought you here tonight? Come in it's cold outside."
Oh hell, she'll be the death of me. She's standing there with her hand on the door, smiling slightly. The kind of smile you give to lost puppies and babies. A small cautious smile. Probably gauging why I'm here.
She's in her matching pajamas- the ones we got for each other. Oh she's still wearing that. I thought I was the only one that kept all our matching things and used them. She looks like an angel, Orm. She might just be an actual angel if i say so myself.
"P'Ling", she called me again. I can't believe I still get in my head when I see her. I should come in, maybe if I tell her what I feel and if she rejects my stupid ass then I can finally move on. Maybe I can finally stop loving her, longing for her. "Hi Orm, do you have a minute? I just need to talk to you for a while"
"Hi P'Lingling, what brought you here tonight? Come in it's cold outside."
She looked so shocked seeing me open the door. Her puppy eyes widened when she saw me open the door as if she can't believe I opened the door for her. Doesn't she know by now that I'll always open my home for her? This woman.
"Hi Orm, do have a minute? I just need to talk to you for a while" She sounds so tense, so out of the water. It's as if she also can't believe she's here. I stopped myself from squeezing this puppy of a woman. I need to hear what she'll say. I can't just hug her out of the blue so she'll calm down. But God, she should know by now that there is nothing to worry about if it's just the two of us. I used to be her safe zone after all.
She followed me in like a lost puppy. I guided her to the kitchen and started preparing some tea. I know she'll calm down when I give her some tea like she always used to. She's sitting down the opposite side of the kitchen counter. In this light I can see the dark bags under her eyes even if she's avoiding my eyes, looking down on her fingers and fiddling with them.
I finished preparing the tea and handed it to her. I'm on the other side of the counter. She's so close yet so far. I can almost smell her perfume. I can see every detail of the woman I missed so much. She didn't change much. Her hair is a little lighter now, probably from the new drama she was filming. Her skin little tanner, showing how much she's been under the sun. I heard her new show included a lot of action scenes. They must have filmed a lot outdoors. One thing never changed though, she's still so beautiful. My favorite AI face. My Lingling Kwong.
"Here P'Ling, have some tea. I'm glad I still have some of your favorite. Wait, is it still you favorite? It's jasmine tea"
"Oh thank you, um, yeah it's still my favorite" She took a sip and then looked down again.
She's now fiddling with the spoon I put beside her cup. I can almost hear her brain from here. Too much thoughts in that gorgeous head of her. If only I can just push those thoughts out of her pretty mouth.
For now, I need to shut up and wait for her to talk. I need to hear things from her because unlike her I'm not good at reading people like she easily does. So, I walked beside her and sat down. There's really no point hiding my want to be close to her; even if I can't touch her yet, sitting beside her feels right.
How do start? What do I say? She's looking at me so intensely drinking the sight of me sitting in her kitchen. I feel like a fish out of water. I'm so nervous I can't stop fiddling with this spoon. I looked up and she's still silently observing me with that cute head tilt she does when she's stopping herself from talking. After handling me the tea she slowly made her way to the chair beside me. N'Orm, she's so beautiful up close. She's so close to me now that I can smell her body lotion. The same one she always insisted to use on me before going to sleep. It's making me dizzy from nostalgia. I really should speak up. It's late and she should be resting by now. I looked up again to look at her eyes, her honey eyes. They still hypnotize me. Speak Lingling. Can't have her waiting forever.
"N'Orm." She nodded encouraging me to go on.
"So, I was cleaning up my bedroom earlier and found that ring our fans got us from our Bangkok fanmeet. Back on The Secret of Us Era. Turns out I accidentally gave you the one with the Letter L when, you know." Separated. I can't even say it. Separated from this angel. My stupid ass.
"Oh yeah, I have it P'Ling. I guessed that you have the Letter O. I thought you intended that. Are you here to exhange?" Is this what she's here for? To exchange rings?
I knew our rings we're exchanged the moment I got home when we gave each other our things. I looked at all the things she gave me back. Our history in the form of precious things, they all fit in my car they are just objects after all. I still have a room for all those gifts. I still go through them when I miss her, when I need her memory to keep me going. Nothing compared to the memories I have of her, of us. Still, I wanted to keep the ring. I didn't say anything about it. It's petty. I know but, I wanted to keep that small part of her. She just might take that away from me now. Oh. I should get it.
"I'll just get it. I'll be quick, it's upstairs. Wait for me P'ling"
I can hear the disappointment in her voice. She quickly got up from the chair and before I know it. I grabbed her hand. She looked shocked at our hands. She must have felt it too, the electricity when our skins touched.
"N'Orm, no. I don't want it back. Can you sit down first? Let me finish 'cause I don't think I can have the courage to talk to you again after this." She sat down and nodded her head. I can see her eyebrow furrow and the smile she had earlier is now gone. I did not let go of her hand though, she's my anchor after all.
"As I said, I was cleaning my bedroom and saw the ring with your initial on it and it hit me how much I miss you. So, I got out and drove around. I wanted to clear my thoughts and the next thing I know, I'm at your neighborhood. My thoughts led me to your neighborhood. Everything still leads me to you.
N'Orm I didn't realize how much of my life is now dimmer without you in it. I thought separating was the only right thing to do at that time. I was too busy chasing my dreams that I thought that's also what you needed. I thought you were also too busy chasing your dream. We were too tired, we had too little time for each other. We fought a lot. We were losing us. I was selfish and stupid and unbelievably crazy for suggesting we take time apart. When all I needed to do was slow down. I didn't realize that all my dreams have no meaning without you. I know I hurt you. I couldn't shake the pain either. The first week we broke up, I was gonna plead and beg you to come back to me but you just got casted in one of your dream drama, you got booked for Paris runway, a muse for YSL. I don't know, I thought at that time that me letting you go was exactly what you needed. Your career took new heights. Got nominated for a Grammy and it felt like I'll only stop you from being the star that you are. You had all these wonderful things happening and I can't slow you down not when you're at your brightest. So, I shut my mouth and did what I always did. But now, I'm in another normal day and suddenly I got reminded of you, our history, and my love for you. I, I still love you Orm. I don't know what to say to get you back. I don't think I even deserve your love again. I don't know if I still deserve you"
I can't stop crying. Her eyes bore into me a mixture of pain and nostalgia from the history we shared. She's holding my hand the same way she used to when I'm feeling too much. Her thumb slowly brushing over my hand, so soothing. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Oh I made her cry again. Orm is crying again because of me. I shouldn't have said anything. I was gonna stand up and leave but before I know it her lips are on my mine. She's kissing me? I can taste her tears. I can feel her hands slowly raise up to my cheeks and wipe away the tears. She's pining me down the chair and I lost my sense of self and kissed her back. My hands are on her waist before I know it. Kissing away the years of separation. Her lips still heavenly even with the slight tremble from the crying. I can't breathe. She's in my space again. She's all I hear, her uneven breath, her silent whimpers. She's all I smell, the smell of her tears, her body lotion, her shampoo. She's all I feel, her warm touch on my cheeks, her soft shirt beneath my hands, her kiss soft and slow memorizing the shape of my lips as if I'll disappear again. Her. Her. Her. My Orm. Her hold on me is so gentle yet so fierce. Her hands trail from my cheeks to my neck, trying to feel my pulse like she always did. I know she'll feel like heart is almost beating out of my chest. A steady rhythm of her, her, her. All I hear from her kiss was I miss you, I need you. Her lips brushing over mine with careful gentleness as if she'll hurt me if she kissed me too hard. My hands on her waist, anchoring her to me. The feeling of her warmth spreading a balm all through my body. I missed her like this, in my arms, my lips on hers kissing her back with equal gentleness. I wish time can stand still.
Oh I'm kissing her. My Lingling Kwong. Her hands hot on my waist. I can feel her lips trembling from all the crying but she's kissing me the same way she's kissed before. It's as if she's memorizing how my lips feel after so long. I smell her perfume so clearly now, the same one she used when we were together, the one I said I liked on her. I slowly lower my hands to her neck, trying to feel her heartbeat on her pulse; her heart beating as fast as mine. I feel her warmth, the one that kept me anchored for so long. I've been floating away for years when I met her and then she anchored me into a safe harbor. When she left, I felt so far from the shore. Now, this? This feels like coming home.
I slowly back away when I couldn't breathe anymore. I look at her and see wonder in her eyes. She must be shocked from the sudden kiss. Honestly, there really is no point denying my love for her. I can't bear the thought of seeing her leave again so, when I felt her trying to stand up and leave. I kissed her like my life depended on it because, it kinda feels like it does. She's the only woman I'll feel this way for. The only person I'll ever love. And now, she's home.
"I thought you won't come back to me. I've been waiting for too long. I thought you'll leave me heartbroken forever, teerak." The words left my lips with before either of us can process what the hell is happening.
"My Lingling Kwong. You've been chasing your dreams and I've been so proud of you. Always supporting you in everything you do but, I'm always loving you from afar, always longing for you. I thought the day wouldn't come when you're at my doorstep asking to get back together. It's stupid of me when I didn't beg for you, when I didn't ask to work it out. Maybe it turned out for the best because look at you. You're successful in everything you do, your hands still turn everything into gold. I'm so happy for you.
I didn't go to you because maybe we both needed the time to be who we needed to be. It's just a shame that we both lost so much time trying to grow when we could have grown together. Nevertheless, we're here now. You're home now. I love you, Lingling Kwong. I always have and I always will. God, I missed you.", I said crying. Throwing my arms around her shoulders because all she is warmth, all she is is where I want to be. I can feel her embrace tighten around me. I can hear her sigh of relief.
"There no need to worry now, you never lost me, you never lost my love, Lingling."
We hugged for that felt like forever. I can hold her forever if I need to. I feel her body melting into mine. I feel her relief, her never ending love. She's so bright, it's almost blinding. I felt her pull back a little. Her arms still around my shoulder, her eyes look a little red from crying but it's still the same honey eyes I've loved for so long. She's smiling almost grinning like a little puppy. Her eyes sparkle in this light. God, she's so unbelievably beautiful.
"N'Orm, I'm sorry for deciding for the both of us. I'm sorry for taking so long to come to my senses. I must have been crazy. I missed you so much. I love you even more. Now, I wouldn't ask you to be mine again. I don't want to rush you, to rush us. I want to do it right. Will you go on a date with me?" Her eyes squinted at me, her lips sport a tiny smirk. She's thinking of something funny, maybe something out of the blue.
The hell with taking it slow. I know what I want, who I want.
"P'ling, if you don't ask me to be your girlfriend now. I won't go on a date with you. Hmmp!" I playfully, I removed my arms around her shoulder and slowly turned around. I felt her pulling me back slightly and turned me around. Her arms are still loosely holding on to my waist. I looked back at her, seeing her smile. The same smile I fell for. Her eyes crinkling at the corners. The corners of her lips finally upturned.
I'm never one to say no to her. She's Orm, and whatever she wants she'll get. I'll burn the world down if she asked to.
"Hmm, we'll then N'Orm. My princess, will you be my girlfriend again?" Here I am trying to fight away the fear because despite the time away from each other I knew deep down that what we had comes once in a lifetime. I knew deep down we'll find our way back together.
She's full on grinning now. The same gummy smile. The same glimmer in her eyes.
"Yes! Yes! I thought you'd never ask" Who knew this day would end like this? Who knew I'll be back in her arms again? Who knew I'll be hers again? I'm so happy I can feel my cheek hurt from smiling too much.
"I love you, babu.
"I love you too, baobao."
I stood up and pulled her into an embrace again.
This time I'm never letting go.
This time we'll make it.