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Kiku Honda didn’t fall in love easily.
It wasn’t like he hated the idea of romance, he liked the idea in theory. Having someone to call your own, it sounded nice. He liked romantic manga and dating sims, and he’s watched dozens of shoujo romance anime with only twelve episodes. (He considered them a guilty pleasure.) He had seen all the tropes; love at first sight, festivals, beaches, kabe-don, valentines and white day, deres of all kinds, and copious amounts of flowers, bubbles, and sparkles. He enjoyed these exaggerated pieces of fiction.
Because that’s all they were. Fiction.
He knew love was not like that, he was an adult after all. There was no such thing as ‘love at first sight’ and flowers didn’t magically appear at the sight of something even slightly romantic. Real life love was complex, messy, and frankly…out of reach for him.
He didn’t mind, though. He had better things to do with his time, more things to worry about. Like the homework resting on his lap.
Another thing he enjoyed was sitting under the shade of a tree, letting the breeze cool him down and taking in the smell of the spring season. He put down his pencil in the grass and leaned back on his hands, facing the sky. He closed his eyes and bathed in the small threads of sunlight that filtered through the leaves.
“Got room for one more?”
Kiku’s eyes opened to find Alfred smiling down at him, hands resting on his knees.
“Hello Alfred, of course.”
He huffed a small ‘sweet’ and moved from behind Kiku to plop down next to him. His face was flushed and slightly sweaty, and his usual jacket was tied around his waist.
“You really doing homework right now? Don’t you wanna wait until you’re back at your dorm?”
“It’s better to get it out of the way first.” He folded his arms over his knees and leaned his head on them. “But since you’re here, I guess I can take a break.”
“Good, because I would’ve gotten really bored.” He let out a small laugh.
Kiku rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance with a small smile, and studied his face for a moment. He looked out of breath. “Did you run a marathon to get here or…?”
“What? Oh—no I was just playing some ‘football’,” He put air quotes around his phrasing with his hands. “With some of the guys.”
“Not too keen on calling it that, huh?” He chuckled at the memory of his peers teasing Alfred for calling it ‘soccer’, and making him agree the name didn’t make sense.
In the distance, he could make out small figures running about on the field. Some were lightly arguing or poking fun at each other, others were locked in a high-speed game trying to get one over on the other team. It looked rough, but fun.
“Nope. I got too tired and saw you under the tree and decided to chill’ax with you for a bit.”
He saw him all the way over here?
“Wouldn’t you want to sit with the rest of them? It seems like they’re having fun.”
“Yeah, but I wanted to hang out with you. Plus, the shade is nicer.” He rested his arms behind his head.
He let out a small ‘hm’ and decided to lean back to look down at him. “Well I hate to disappoint, but I’m not really doing anything interesting right now.” He rolled the pencil on the dirt. “Unless you find calculus absolutely riveting.”
“Ew, dude no.” He made a face as if even the mention of it left a bad taste in his mouth. “You cannot seriously find that stuff fun.”
“Oh no, I know it’s boring.” Honestly, he wanted to throw his textbooks out of a second story window sometimes. “I’d much rather be reading right now.”
Alfred pulled his beat up backpack behind him to rest on it. Dirt, rips, and a soda stain had tainted its surface since the beginning of the year. It looked like it had been thrown around, kicked, and dropped one-too-many times. “Read anything cool lately?”
Kiku looked at his shoulder bag. “I picked up a new romance manga recently.” He grabbed it and flipped open the flap, gently pulling a paperback book from it. He handed it to Alfred to inspect as he sat up. The cover was white, with a girl and a boy standing with their backs facing each other. Thin pink lettered text read the title ‘Horimiya’. Alfred flipped the book over to read the back.
“I know it’s not exactly your type of story—“
“Dude, are you kidding? This sounds awesome!”
Kiku’s eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. “Really? I took you for more of a shōnen guy.”
“I mean yeah, I like that stuff—but I’m not just a one-genre guy! Romance is heroic when you think about it.” Alfred flipped through the pages, taking in the flashes of panels and artwork.
“How so?” Kiku’s interest was piqued. He had a…certainly different way of thinking about things.
“Like, giving your all to another person, y’know what I mean? Doing nice things and caring for people, it’s exactly what a hero is meant to do!”
“Huh,” Kiku looked to the side in thought. “When you put it that way, I suppose it makes sense.”
“I know it does!” He flipped the book back to the cover, looking at it with a curious expression. “Would’ya mind if I borrowed this? I promise I’ll give it back!” His eyes brightened, almost in a pleading way.
“Hm…well…” Kiku looked at Alfred’s abused backpack, slightly grimacing internally. Alfred had a reputation of being rougher with his belongings, usually accidentally, but the result was that no one really wanted to lend him things in fear of getting them back in worse shape. But the way he looked at him…he couldn’t say no to that face.
“Alright, just make sure it comes back in one piece.” He had finished reading the first volume anyway, so if it came back damaged he wouldn’t be too upset about it. And if he was, he could make Alfred feel bad and buy him a new copy. Although something told him he wouldn’t go through with it.
Oh well.
The bright sun and the crisp morning air helped Kiku feel a little less tired on his walk to the school. That, and the lively conversation his friend Feliciano was holding. He didn’t know how he got so much energy in the mornings. Despite the fact he claimed he was ‘so tired!’ and that coffee didn’t really have an effect on him, but Kiku wasn’t so sure how much of that he believed. Feliciano drank the stuff like it was water. He was chatting on and on about a new art project he was working on, and how he wanted Ludwig to pose for it. Said man was beside him, nodding along to his conversation and occasionally providing input. Kiku glanced at their interlocked hands.
His friends had gotten together at the end of last year, and it was honestly a long time coming. Anyone from a mile away could see how much the two cared for each other. Like they were two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly with one another. Their love was inspiring, like truly anyone could find the one at the other end of their red string of fate.
Kiku shivered slightly, he had forgotten to wash his blazer and had to wear his uniform without it. Even though it was early spring, the mornings were still fairly chilly. Not to mention he got cold very easily, and the spring uniform’s shirt was short sleeved.
He was nearly knocked over when a pair of arms had squeezed him from behind.
“Keeks! G’morning!”
Kiku let out an embarrassing noise between having the wind knocked out of him and being surprised at the sudden affection. Even after being friends all this time, he still wasn’t fully used to how touchy-feely Alfred was. He was very friendly, almost too much so.
“Gah!—Oh, Goodmorning, Alf—Alfred.”
Alfred gave him a queer look. “Where’s your blazer?” He was still leaning on his shoulders. “Never see you without it, always so proper.”
Kiku patted Alfred’s arms to lightly return the embrace. “I forgot to wash it.” He’d been a bit preoccupied lately.
Alfred let go and started walking next to him, still staying fairly close. He noticed the goosebumps on Kiku’s arms. “Are you cold?”
“Ah, yeah.” He resisted the urge to rub his hands over his arms in an attempt to warm up.
Before he could say anything else, Alfred was taking off his letterman jacket and draping it over his shoulders.
“Here! Use mine.”
“Wait, Alfred—you don’t have to, it’ll be warmer in the afternoon anyway. I can handle it until then.”
“Really, it’s alright!” He wrapped it around Kiku, trying to keep it secure. “Just give it back to me after classes then.”
“But aren’t you cold too?”
“Nah,” He shrugged. “You’ve seen me wear shorts in the winter, this is nothing. The jacket is more like a staple than for warmth.” It makes him recognizable!
So stubborn. “Well, if you insist.”
“I do insist! Can't have you freezing to death!”
Alfred could be so overdramatic, Kiku thought. It wasn’t like it was below freezing. Or even overly cold for that matter. Still, he adjusted the jacket so that he was wearing it correctly. It was a bit big, covering a bit of his hands so that only his fingers were visible.
“Thank you.”
He waved his hand with a smile. “Don’t mention it!”
He fiddled with the thicker fabric at the end of the sleeves. It was certainly comforting. The jacket was warm, and smelled of fabric softener.
When they had reached the gate of the school, they said their ‘see-you-later’s as they had to head in different directions for their classes.
And Kiku decided to conveniently ignore the way Alfred rubbed his arms as he walked off.
“Kiku! You’ll never believe what I saw in class today!” Feliciano’s normally bubbly voice was fairly high with a gossipy excitement. He loved talking about the social workings of his peers, whether it was trivial or not. Although, specifying him in the conversation was certainly new. Kiku tilted his head with a small ‘hm?’, imploring him to continue as he opened his bento box.
“So did you see that Alfred isn’t wearing the uniform’s sweater vest?”
Ah, so it was one of those trivial times. “Yes, I did. He didn’t have it on when he lended me back a book I let him borrow.” He just assumed he got too warm, which wasn't the most uncommon occurrence in the world.
Feliciano’s eyes widened a little more. “So it was your book!” He glanced at Ludwig with a little smile, and he rolled his eyes. The motion didn’t have any displeasure behind it, however.
“Feli, you’re getting sidetracked.”
“Ah! Right! So I had him in one of my classes earlier and he was joking around with Gilbert and Francis, although Alfred didn’t seem entirely grossed in the conversation. He kept flipping through a comic book.”
“‘Manga’, Feli.”
“Right, manga! So I guess Francis commented on something that made Alfred’s face go all red and Gilbert started laughing so hard his stomach hurt!” Ludwig nodded, he could practically hear Gilbert’s cackling just at the mention of it.
“I didn’t hear what he said but then Antonio joined in with Francis like ‘Don’t pester him so hard, let the man indulge in his feelings amigo!’ and Gilbert started laughing even harder at that! So much he knocked over the grape juice Francis was drinking.” Feliciano was moving his hands dramatically, like he did whenever he got into a story. Like he was trying to recreate the scene.
“He must’ve knocked it pretty hard because it got everywhere! But the weirdest part is that Alfred shielded the book like his life depended on it, and his vest got covered!” Feliciano’s food filled fork was held in the air as he continued talking. “He must’ve been protecting it because it wasn’t his.”
Kiku was a bit surprised. Sure, Alfred promised him he’d keep the book safe, but protecting it with such force? The thought of him holding something of his to that value made his face a little warm. “Well that was…nice of him.”
“It was! Reminds me of when Ludwig got covered in paint trying to catch an easel I dropped.” He leaned into Ludwig, sighing at the memory. “I suppose we have chivalrous partners, don’t we?”
Kiku’s eyes held a startled look.
“P—partners!?”
Feliciano seemed increasingly confused. Ludwig glanced between them.
“I’m not—we’re not together.”
“You’re not?”
“He’s just a good friend.” Kiku’s pupils flitted to the side. “Do—do people think we’re together?”
“No, Feliciano just got a little excited, that’s all.” He gave Feliciano a look that made his mouth open in an ‘o’ before turning back to Kiku.
“Did I say ‘partners’? Sorry! I guess I just got distracted thinking about mi amore! Alfred is a good friend, I meant.”
Kiku sighed. He wasn’t sure he could handle people thinking about his love life. Too many complications. Alfred probably had someone in mind for the role of ‘partner’ anyway. He didn’t want to interfere with that. He’d always be just a good friend.
He wasn’t sure why that thought made his heart hurt a little.
The roof of the school was eerily desolate, he supposed most students would rather hang out in the courtyard or off-campus during this time of day. He tapped his fingers against the pages of the book on his crossed legs. His mind wandered despite his efforts to focus on the words in front of him. It was at a particularly cute moment in the story, and yet Kiku couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to be in that kinda cute scenario. To share domestic moments with someone and maybe be cute in a way that just bordered on cringe.
He jolted with an ‘eek’ when he felt cold aluminum placed against his cheek.
“Hey! Special delivery!” Alfred giggled at Kiku’s reaction.
“You—!”
“It’s your favorite!” It was hard to stay annoyed at Alfred when he was smiling like that and offering him a strawberry cola. He sighed in faux irritation, but couldn’t help the smile that reflected back, and graciously accepted the can. Alfred leaned against the wall and cracked open his own cola.
“Is that the second volume?” Alfred eyed the book curiously.
“Hm? Yeah, I just got it.”
He jerked his head in the other direction, like if simply looking at the pages would be a death sentence.
“Ah! No spoilers then!”
Kiku couldn’t help but chuckle. He thought for a moment before flipping the book back to the first page. Alfred felt his sleeve be tugged downwards, imploring him to sit on the ground next to him.
“I didn’t get that far, you wanna read it together?”
Alfred’s face was a bit flushed, and it took him a moment to remember that he didn’t answer.
“Oh—Yeah, totally!”
Alfred leaned in close so that he could get a better view of the book on Kiku’s lap.
“Just let me know when to turn the pages.”
They fell into a comfortable silence. The only sounds evident being the flipping of the pages, the occasional sip of their drinks, and Alfred’s tapping at the pages corners to indicate he had finished reading the page. At some point, Kiku began to lean into Alfred, his head almost resting on his shoulder. Kiku broke the quiet bubble they were in when he yawned as his eyes skimmed over the panels.
“Getting bored?” Alfred titled his head.
“What? Oh, no, I just didn’t get good sleep last night.” His voice was quieter than usual. “I’m having a nice time with you.”
Alfred leaned his head on top of his. “If you’re tired you can take a nap, I don’t mind.” His fingers absentmindedly drummed on the cover.
“No, it’s okay. We’re in the middle of the story anyway.”
Alfred hummed slightly. “Alright.”
They continued reading, with Kiku yawning every few pages. He leaned more into Alfred, his eyes becoming less and less focused on the words. It wasn’t until Kiku stopped turning the pages did Alfred glance over at him, finding his eyes fluttered shut. He let out a little breath and carefully took the book from his hands, shutting it and placing it next to Kiku’s bag.
He knew Kiku had class in a bit, and he’d wake him up when he needed to. But for now, he’d let Kiku use him as a pillow for his nap. He seemed like he needed it. Alfred adjusted as carefully as he could, trying to get comfortable without waking him.
The rest of their break was spent with Alfred listening to Kiku’s soft breathing as he slept peacefully beside him.
Alfred’s dorm was a lot more disorganized than his. Which is probably why he invited Kiku to come over while he cleaned. Kiku sat on the bed he had helped make neatly (and by helped, he means he did the whole thing), while Alfred was sorting through his closet on the other side of the room.
“Ugh—There’s so much crud in here.” His upper half was obscured by the door.
“Maybe if you kept clean consistently, it wouldn’t have gotten this bad.”
“And be a clean freak like you? You don’t even let me eat on your bed!”
“And with how many wrappers we found in here, you’re never going to.” Kiku grimaced at the trash bag in the corner. A small sound at his side had alerted him. It was Alfred’s phone.
“Oh, can you get that for me? I’m a little preoccupied right now.”
Kiku grabbed the phone lying on the mattress and flipped it open, the little mochi charm on it Kiku had gifted him swaying slightly.
The notification was from Francis.
Francis [ sent 1:04pm ]
You just have to go for it, like how I did with Arthur.
Kiku had read the message, but it didn’t really catch his attention.
What did catch his attention however, was Alfred’s background. It was a picture he had taken of him and Kiku when they went to a local cherry blossom festival. It was a fairly casual picture, with Alfred holding a dango and winking at the camera in the corner. The photo was mostly focused on Kiku however, who was smiling warmly at the camera with a dango of his own. The cherry blossom trees in the background added a nice touch to the picture.
“Dude?”
Kiku jolted slightly. “Huh?”
“I asked what it said, like twice.” Alfred was in front of him now. “You good?”
“Oh—Yes,“ He handed the phone to Alfred. “I just didn’t get a good look at your screen saver until now.”
Alfred looked at the message and immediately dismissed it as discreetly as possible after seeing what it said. He looked back at Kiku, his face slightly pink.
“It’s a really good picture! Do you not like it?”
“No, No, I do. It’s just—“ He put his hand behind his neck. “I didn’t think anyone would have me as their background.”
“Dude! You’re like, my best friend!” He sat down next to him. “Of course I’d have you as my background. Also, it’s a good picture of me too.”
A warm feeling swelled in Kiku’s chest hearing that. To be considered close enough to be labeled ‘best friend’, made his heart happy. Yet, a little part of him wanted to be closer.
“It is.” He smiled slightly, although there was a slight nervousness behind it. “I feel a little bad though, my background isn’t anything special.”
Kiku fished his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. It was a photo he had taken of some trees on one of his walks. The sky was a brilliant blue and the sunlight reflected nicely off the leaves.
“But you’re so good at taking pictures!” Alfred took a closer look at the photo, his face getting close to Kiku’s. Almost cheek-to-cheek. “I love seeing your photography, you can make practically anything look pretty.”
Kiku warmed at the sudden praise. “It’s nothing much, really.”
He spoke before thinking. “Maybe one of these days I’ll get a nice photo of you, so I can return the favor.”
He had never seen Alfred flush like that, his voice coming out in stutters.
“Y—Yeah! That would—that would be pretty—pretty awesome.”
“I think I have feelings for Alfred.”
Kiku had spoken the phrase flatly to his two friends as they walked to the gate. Although his face definitely didn’t match his tone, he looked so red Ludwig thought he might pass out.
“…But I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend?” Feliciano cocked his head to the side.
“Feliciano!”
“He’s not—“ He turned away. “But I think I want him to be?” Talking about this out loud felt utterly humiliating.
“Have you told him?” Ludwig raised an eyebrow.
“No, I don’t even know how.”
Feliciano nudged Ludwig’s shoulder and gestured behind him. Ludwig looked in the direction and then back to Feliciano, nodding. He began to slow down their walking pace.
“Well, how does he make you feel?” Feliciano said in a slightly higher tone.
Kiku sighed, and he began to fiddle with the keychain Alfred got him on his bag. It was a little cute tuxedo cat plush charm.
“He…he makes me feel…like a silly schoolgirl with a crush. Like I wanna do all the coupley things I see you and Ludwig or Francis and Arthur do.”
Feliciano glanced behind him again. “Go on.”
“I…” Oh could the ground just swallow him up already. “He makes me feel like I’m wrapped in a warm blanket. Like I want to go on romantic walks together and talk about everything and nothing and buy little trinkets that remind us of each other. And maybe…” He swallowed. “Maybe kiss?”
Feliciano couldn’t hide his smile. “Great! Now tell him exactly that!”
Kiku’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding? I can’t do that!” Just the thought alone was mortifying.
“Dude, do you mean all that stuff?”
Kiku nearly sprained his neck turning behind him. Alfred was right there. Francis and Arthur walked not far behind.
“I think you just did.”
Okay, Kiku thought he might actually pass out now. Or hurl. Or both.
“I—Alfred—“
He was cut off by a sudden burst of arms wrapping around him. Jumping in place and laughing.
“Holy shit! Kiku! KikuKikuKiku! I feel the exact same way!”
Kiku could barely grasp the situation before he felt his feet leave the ground and was spun around.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner!”
Kiku looked down at Alfred, attempting to stay balanced in his arms.
“W—wha—huh?”
“I’ve had, like, the biggest crush on you for months!”
Was this real? Was this actually happening?
Alfred paused when he looked at Kiku’s face, impossibly red and dumbfounded. He didn’t know where to start. Alfred put him down, still holding him close.
“Kiku? Kiku are you alright—“
“—Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
The words came out before he even realized what he was saying. Now it was Alfred’s turn to be a blushing mess.
“I—Yes! Yes of course I do!”
A wave of dizziness hit Kiku when Alfred had tried to plant a kiss on his cheek, only to miss and peck him on the lips. He could vaguely hear the click of a phone camera as he tried to recover and regain composure. He couldn’t help the smile that plastered itself on his face.
Kiku Honda didn’t fall in love easily.
Why would he? When the thought of it felt so out of reach for him. Like it was only meant to stay in the stories he consumed. Cute-fluffy love like that could only exist in fiction.
But maybe…they could get close to it.